The things Malfoy can convinced himself of.
it's going to take some getting use to but all i n all it was a good chapter.
I loved picturing Malfoy pacing as Blaise yelled. Something about that just made me giggle. I really like where this is going, albeit I'm aware I'm far behind in beginning to read it. Better late then never, I suppose.
Loved it! Well done
Hey i think ur story was great.It had just the right amount of romance and adventure.I really enjoyed reading it.
Awww, i loveddddd it!!!!! i love fluff it's sooo sweet, so i don't mind that you had a lot of cliches and stuff, it's awesomer because of it =D especially after they haven't been together for such a long time, getting together now should be very sweet, just like how you made it!!!!!!!!!!!!! =D you can't possibly understand the feeling i have right now, i feel all warm and fuzzy (using your words =) insde, like all happy =) thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (for making me feel so =D) i hope you write more fan fics for everyone to enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Liking someone doesn't happen like that, but whatever. It's just a story...
Author's Response: Oooookayyyy. Well, ppl also don't wave wands and make things happen that, according to natural law and physics, should not. So yeah, it's just a story.
Ace Nicole Riddle. 10/10 from me =D!
Haha, sorry, I actually didn't see the date. And sorry if 'sweetheart' and 'bestest' offends you--that's actually how I talk to my friends (all of whom are, like me, a little under the age you were when you wrote this).
Author's Response: It's okay, just for future reference, a review on a review so to speak. Most of your advice was good (and I'm not sure why you actually saw "strait" because I fixed it three years ago...might be something wrong with the site editing) but I would advise you to give it in a more constructive manor. When I was fifteen/sixteen I did have issues with homonyms. Now, however, I am a college sophomore majoring in Linguistics. (and I fixed that after the first review that told me...still don't know what happened to my edit...) I write to entertain; fanfiction is my destresser from my college work load. Forgive me if I sounded harsh; that's just not how mugglenet reviewers usually go about things. I do appreciate you review though, and, as stated, most of your advice was sound, so go from there! ~Nicole
Sweetheart, you have GOT to learn how to distinguish your homonyms. For instance, a 'strait' is a channel of water. People do not run strait to their destinations unless they're either speaking Chinese, in which case that verb-object combination is somewhat acceptable, or superhuman and have forgotten to use the article 'a' (or a boat). Mostly we run straight to where we're going.
I'd like to suggest that you stay away from sex scenes if you haven't had any practical experience (and word-of-mouth, even if it's a direct story from one of your bestest girlfriends, doesn't count).
Also, try to avoid writing lovey-dovey reunited-at-last scenes that make you blush when you read them. In fact, that's a good rule of thumb: if you feel uncomfortable reading it aloud and are neither Anne Rice nor Jackie Collins, don't write it.
That said, you do have a knack for storytelling and humor; you just desperately need to hone your wordsmithing skills. Reading books other than Harry Potter and anything by Meg Cabot will undoubtedly help.
Keep writing and keep working, and try showing some of your more serious pieces to successful writers you know (these do not have to be teachers or published authors; anyone whose job involves writing will do) for constructive feedback. You've got potential.
Author's Response: Uh, I wrote this story when I was sixteen...four years ago. Honestly, look at the date. And by the way, saying "sweetheart" is very condescending, and so is "bestest girlfriends". Get off your high horse. And saying "you've got potnetial" at the end doesn't make it better. Oh, and for your information, my favourite author is Jane Austen!
Part of that was totally gag-worthy, by the way. Absolutely sickening. "You're found." Siriusly. And I'd like to just say that I'm very proud of myself for knowing that he would propose as soon as he called it "another request".
But anyway and certainly more importantly! Soo sad-making that it's all over! No! I very much loved this Dramione story, curse me for falling into the trap of calling it that. But anyway, you, the utmost of many reasons, are making me think that maybe--just maybe--Hermione really had a secret, fiery passion for Draco Malfoy that was equally as flaming (wrong word? he isn't gay, after all) in him. And no, the ending was perfectly cute! I did not puke at the sugar overload, as I pointed out before, I gagged. XD Okay, I know I'm skipping around alot, but hey. (by the way: The standing number is 9 1/2). Anyhow! I'll be waiting for their daughter. Incidentally, my best friend's name is Nicole, so extra hugs for having that name. And sorry I keep saying "love for doing this" and stuff. I never really did that before...anyway! Ignoring that...love for having the greatest Dramione fanfic ever, complete with perfect fluff and delightful writing. Love!
Author's Response: Let me just say, much love to you for your AWESOME reviews. they were seriously the best ever! I'm so glad you enjoyed it so much! I loved writing it too! btw, "You're found"...yeah, knew that was cheesy when I wrote it lol! Ahh, but sometimes you can't avoid corny in fanfiction. Thank you for all of your blush worthy compliments, they were absolutely wonderful!! The hand slaps...made me smile every time. Oh, and Nicole really is my middle name, so naturally it's my pen name. Thanks sooo much again for the ah-mazing reviews! -Nicole
I laughed when Draco was like, "Wouldn't dream of it." It wasn't altogether one of the funnier aspects of the chapter, but it IS Draco after all, so he just makes me laugh. I was biting my lip in sadness when Hermione was explaining her "broken and alone" things, melodramatic bitch. I smirked viciously and half-sadly when Draco bumped his head on the floor. And you get points for invoking powerful emotions in me.
I, on the other hand, adore it. Oh Draco, don't you understand girls? She doesn't want to love you!
Aaand...now I'm talking to him. Mega-points, Nicole. Mega-points.
Oh jeez. What a drama-king. 'The pain in my soul', honestly, Malfoy.
*gushes* I totally love him. Hugs for being awesome--again! And the number's still firmly at 9 1/2, as I'm proud to announce.
*starts screaming* NO! DRACO! DON'T DIE!
And of course, you get love for making me shriek. Obvs.
Hugs for Zofia, too. Firstly, for having an increasingly awesome name, but also for being compassionate.
Okay, so who thinks they're going to do each other on this thing? I did! But guess not. Sigh.
Hermione! Please don't! Begging: Nicole, please tell me it ends with them at least smiling slightly at each other? Points for making me beg, by the way.
Times: 9 1/2. I just stopped myself when my hands were a few inches way. Honestly, I've got to get a hobby.
However! That made me smile. Even though Hermione was being stubborn, cross, rude, and pitiable at the fact that she had no friends, of course it made me smile. Because you rock, and can make two very alone people who are on a one-way crush make me smile. Obviously.
Times: 9. And DAMN. I'd really been trying to restrain myself. Oh, when Draco's hope had just left thanks to that Professor we all secretly loathe.
My hands shook a bit near the end, but perhaps I do get out enough and I managed not to slam a hand over my mouth. These are honestly immediate reactions, so yes, I'm pathetic.
But enough about me! You rock Nicole. Love for being one of the most amazing fanfic writers ever to grace the planet.
That whole word vomit thing, now made it a round #6 for mouth-clapping. And yes, I'm officially counting.
Draco's such a sweetie for hating everyone, just because they'd hurt Hermione. I'm now experiencing intensifying love. Thanks! :P
Anddd the "half the time he's doing me made me crack up. That was fantastic! Haha.
Times: #7. When Hermione pieced together that dear old Dumbles is doomed.
Times: 8. At the very end. *heart breaks and whimpers:* Draco? I love you. Please don't go!
Love for being a super amazing writer!
Obviously I slapped my hands to my mouth AGAIN, when Hermione found out, and as soon as he rushed to the bathroom I moaned, "Sectumsempra," so mega-points for getting me to groan aloud and clap over my mouth for about the fifth time in a row!
Also, that was so sweet. I love how Draco has a conscience, for once. This is the only fanfic I've read where he's got one. Kisses for Hermione for being honest, and love to Draco for being adorable. Hugs to you for being awesome!
As usual, mouth-clapping drama. Maybe I need to get out more.
Anyhow! Hermione, you lusty little girl (yes I did read your author's note...kidding) someone's feeling addicted, aren't we? Haha. I love her for having the slip of Hermione she needed, when she almost did the right thing and turned him in. But equally as pleased that she chose Draco over Malfoy, which doesn't really make sense but you know. The one she loved over the Death Eater. Love for perfection!