Reviews For No Going Back Now
Reviewer: DarkWizardKiller
Date: 12/06/05 18:49
Chapter: Toxic Lust

This is a very good story. It is written very well. Your prose is poetic and flows like water. I am extreamly impressed, however, the thought of Serveus Snape touching Hermione Granger make me want to wretch! BLECH! ;>

Author's Response: Thank you, I'm glad you like my style. Thanks for the read/review.

Reviewer: mala
Date: 12/04/05 22:20
Chapter: The Seraph of Potions

I'm baaack! :)

Goodness, what a love triangle (quadrangle? pentagon?) you've got going on here. And with Snape involved...massively intriguing. When I saw the summary, curiousity got the better of me, and I had to go on and find out what happened.

I thought it was great that you used Snape and Hermione's mutual intelect and love for learning (or maybe just being right) to bring them together. Usually, I'd think that Snape growing to love Hermione in only the matter of one chapter was rushed, but you really took the time to develop the feelings from respect, to like, to...love? Hmmm....:P

And if it was your goal to get me wondering about what happens next, congratulations! You achieved it. You've got me pondering what happens if Harry ever turns up, if a confrontation ensues, and then *shudders* what happens if he doesn't?

Grammatically, I thought it was an improvement from the first chapter, which is certainly saying something since the first chapter was very good on its own. I only noticed two sentences that I thought were a bit akward, for the same reason as before, but overall, it was well written and your sentences were great--not to mention that I love the way that you varied sentence lengths to keep it interesting.

This time she returned as an assistant, the new headmaster had suggested she take up potions. I think that the comma between these two sentences should be either a semicolon or a period, rather than a comma, since these are really two entirely seperate sentences. I could be wrong, in which case ignore me, but just a thought.

Perhaps she recognized it even if everyone else chose to ignore the fact. In this case, I think there should (I know, you're probably screaming "make up your mind, mala!") be a comma between "it" and "even."

It made me smile to hear that one of the other applicants was "accidentally" poisoned to death. I don't know if that's likely or unlikely for Snape to do, but either way, it definetly fits in with his determined and self-sustaining nature; he's really likely to take matters like this into his own two able hands. Anyway, it made me giggle a bit.

I thought that this was wonderfully IC for Snape, the way that he plots and conives, and ultimately ends up making things go his way. But I also liked how you explored the side of him that's still sociable and "just wants to be loved." :) It's definetly in there!

A great installment, and what a plot you're weaving! Right now, the thing that strikes me the most is the way that you can take characters that could so easily go OOC, and keep them perfectly in character, no matter what, so that the story flows and makes sense, even to people like me (and Josh, lol) that may not be fans of the ship. I'm glad that I came across this story!

Author's Response: Thank you doubly :)

Reviewer: mala
Date: 12/04/05 22:19
Chapter: The Seraph of Potions

I'm baaack! :)

Goodness, what a love triangle (quadrangle? pentagon?) you've got going on here. And with Snape involved...massively intriguing. When I saw the summary, curiousity got the better of me, and I had to go on and find out what happened.

I thought it was great that you used Snape and Hermione's mutual intelect and love for learning (or maybe just being right) to bring them together. Usually, I'd think that Snape growing to love Hermione in only the matter of one chapter was rushed, but you really took the time to develop the feelings from respect, to like, to...love? Hmmm....:P

And if it was your goal to get me wondering about what happens next, congratulations! You achieved it. You've got me pondering what happens if Harry ever turns up, if a confrontation ensues, and then *shudders* what happens if he doesn't?

Grammatically, I thought it was an improvement from the first chapter, which is certainly saying something since the first chapter was very good on its own. I only noticed two sentences that I thought were a bit akward, for the same reason as before, but overall, it was well written and your sentences were great--not to mention that I love the way that you varied sentence lengths to keep it interesting.

This time she returned as an assistant, the new headmaster had suggested she take up potions. I think that the comma between these two sentences should be either a semicolon or a period, rather than a comma, since these are really two entirely seperate sentences. I could be wrong, in which case ignore me, but just a thought.

Perhaps she recognized it even if everyone else chose to ignore the fact. In this case, I think there should (I know, you're probably screaming "make up your mind, mala!") be a comma between "it" and "even."

It made me smile to hear that one of the other applicants was "accidentally" poisoned to death. I don't know if that's likely or unlikely for Snape to do, but either way, it definetly fits in with his determined and self-sustaining nature; he's really likely to take matters like this into his own two able hands. Anyway, it made me giggle a bit.

I thought that this was wonderfully IC for Snape, the way that he plots and conives, and ultimately ends up making things go his way. But I also liked how you explored the side of him that's still sociable and "just wants to be loved." :) It's definetly in there!

A great installment, and what a plot you're weaving! Right now, the thing that strikes me the most is the way that you can take characters that could so easily go OOC, and keep them perfectly in character, no matter what, so that the story flows and makes sense, even to people like me (and Josh, lol) that may not be fans of the ship. I'm glad that I came across this story!

Author's Response: My first SPEW reviewer/reviews!! Oh my goodness mala you are my hero, I about died when I read these reviews, your kind words are so amazing, and mean so much to me, especially on a story that I kind of thought up on the fly. Especially your praise on my characterization, because I was so scared of going OOC, especially with this whole Snape/Hermione thing, it is hard to write I tell you.

I'll go through and fix everything right away, and my grammer is not as good as you say but I appriciate it nonetheless. I hope you enjoy the rest of the story! *huggles mala*

Reviewer: mala
Date: 12/04/05 21:47
Chapter: Prologue

Like Josh, I'm more of a R/Hr shipper too, but I'll read H/Hr if well written, which certainly applies in your case. :) I love the way that the romance isn't in your face, but it's believable because Hermione is already such a good friend of Harry's that it's clear that she truly would miss him in the way that you portrayed. Although, it makes me wonder why Harry, who had defeated the Dark Lord, was so fearful of the Death Eaters? Then again, I can see where you're coming from. Harry has had the power to defeat Voldy since he was one--the Death Eaters are a seperate entity altogether, perhaps not one that he was "destined" to face. Interesting concept; I wonder if that'll come to play in the books! *ponders*

I love how Hermione is so acutely aware of exactly how much time passed since the last time she saw Harry, it's entirely realistic for someone who's missing a friend, and it gives a real sense of longing.

As far as it goes grammatically, your grammer was great. I did notice a few mistakes, but it was nothing that was distracting to the overall story. Mostly what I noticed were places where you didn't put in a comma or period so that the sentence ran on. It was only in a few specific areas, so I'll nit-pick them out. :)

She wanted to tell him behind her brave façade, that she was scared for him. I had to read this sentence twice, because it struck me as a tad awkward. I think it's supposed to read, "She wanted to tell him that behind her brave facade, she was scared for him." The word "that" just switches spots.

This was more that Hermione could bear but held back the tears, she didn’t want to say goodbye, she wasn’t even sure if she could. This sentence is sort of like two different sentences combined. To fix it, you could change the comma between "tears" and "she" to either a semicolon or a period, to seperate the two thoughts.

She wanted to tell him she loved him that he couldn’t leave her alone. This sentence needs a comma between "loved him" and "that he couldn't..."

Beyond those few minor rough spots, there was nothing to complain about. :) In fact, on the contrary, there's plenty to praise. You do a beautiful job of capturing Hermione's emotions, both physically (She coughed, trying desperately to get rid of the choking sensation in her throat. ) and mentally (She felt so lost; something she could never have claimed to feel before this moment, because she knew there was always an answer.). That sentence in particular stood out to me, because it's so IC for Hermione to constantly be looking for the one right answer and easy logical solution--she really is lost without that. So, it goes nearly without saying that you have a great grasp on the characters. :)

Yet something buried underneath the facts and evidence waited patiently for an empty promise, a lost dream, or something not to be expected. I thought this was a great way to end the chapter, it's like a semi-cliffhanger. It definetly leaves plenty of open-ended questions--mala: "What happened to Harry?! "

Hands down, the best thing about your writing is the tone you set--it's a combination of a strange sort of hope, of longing, and of a bit of hopelessness. Evocative? Definetly. I can't wait to read on, and I'm surprised with myself for getting into a H/Hr fic. I really enjoyed this and I'm looking forward to more. Remember to watch your commas/semicolons, and keep up the (always) great work!

Author's Response: Thank you so much Mala, you are absolutely amazing. Your review makes me so happy. I will absolutely be fixing things, thanks for the critique.

Reviewer: wolfgirl
Date: 11/27/05 23:20
Chapter: That's All I Ask

Um lets see I the charecters are supposed to be OOC right ? I think its way to much like phantom mainly the last chapter

Author's Response: I'm sorry it feels that way, it wasn't what I was going for.

Reviewer: Harrysgirl21
Date: 11/08/05 10:02
Chapter: That's All I Ask

Excellent chapter. I really like the Phantom of the Opera dialouge. It really works with the story. Please update soon! :)

Author's Response: Thanks for the review.

Reviewer: Mierielle
Date: 11/04/05 17:06
Chapter: That's All I Ask

Other reviewers were mentioning something about you copying dialogue from "Phantom of the Opera," but I don't mind. It fits in perfectly with the story and gives it a suspenful & romantic twist. Great job!

Author's Response: Thank you for the kind review.

Reviewer: x2pttrclue32
Date: 10/24/05 0:57
Chapter: Prologue

I have to say that that was interesting. In a good way. ;) Now, I’m a big R.Hr fan…but I had to read this because I needed something different and refreshing. And let me tell you, just 800 words of H/Hr after a lifetime (okay, maybe not that much) of R.Hr is refreshing on many levels. Okay. On to the actual review now. I must restrain my inner R.Hr self from shouting, “OOCNESS,” because I know it’s not actually true. I really enjoyed this. I think it was good how you showed the parting of two close friends (or, for the sake of your story, two more-than-friends friends). You showed their emotions very well. Despite that comment however, Harry’s reactions and feelings seemed a bit forced and overdone. Also, I don’t think that I would label this a “prologue,” but I guess I would have to read the other chapters and decide now, wouldn’t I? Other than those things…I enjoyed the story very much!

Author's Response: Oh my goodness Josh, I almost died when I saw your review. I mean you of all people, the head of the R/Hr shippers thread. Wow, not only is this the most constructive review I've ever gotten it's from someone I never would have expected to review so thank you so much. The kind words mean so much to me, and I will really go back and look at Harry, especially since by what you said I'm giving the wrong impression with him, so that will be fixed. Thank you so much, I really can't express what you reviewing my story means to me. I hope you continue to enjoy it! ~Ashley

Reviewer: fireandice
Date: 10/08/05 21:49
Chapter: That's All I Ask

im assumin to copy phantom? ur doing a good job....its accurate w/its own twist...i got a little annoyed by the exact copyin in the last part of this chapter, but if u look at it as just applying poto to hp, it works really well...god story tho, i really lk the idea, however creepy it is, of snape being obssessed w/mione...the dungeon parallel between the phantom and snape works well too, totally just got that

Author's Response: Thanks for such a detailed review, I really appreciate it.

Reviewer: googliebear
Date: 10/08/05 16:39
Chapter: That's All I Ask

Have you seen the phantom of the opera? cause this is almost exactly like it. Hermione=christine, harry= roal, and snape=the phantom. especially the last few sentences. that song in the movie went exactly like thaT. with the, say you love me....you know i do.....thats all i ask of you. and then “We can’t go back there,” she whispered. “It’s okay,” he said, taking a step toward her. “He’ll kill you, he’ll find us, we can’t get away,” she whimpered hysterically. “Hermione, don’t say that,” Harry pleaded, confused as ever. <<<<< that is exactly like the movie!! i love that movie and i love this story update asap!!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review.

Reviewer: im_a_dweeb
Date: 10/06/05 17:06
Chapter: Prologue

good job, I don't know if you did this on purpose, but there are interesting similiarities between the plot of this fic and phantom of the opera. It's pretty suhweet.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review.

Reviewer: king
Date: 10/03/05 21:34
Chapter: The Sorrow of the Darkness

Good Story. I do wonder about Snape being back in his old position as potions master. I suppose you are working on the premise that he is really not a follower of Voldemort. Is this story AU ignoring HBP (which is OK), or do you have some idea that explains the murder of Dumbledore but keeps Snape on the good guys side?

Author's Response: Just so you know, this is an AU ignoring HBP...and I was going to explain HBP away but I thought that would detract from the original intent of my story so I just made it AU, good question though, I hope that's okay!

Reviewer: Salazar
Date: 10/03/05 1:50
Chapter: The Sorrow of the Darkness

Finally he's back!

Author's Response: I know, i was excited too.

Reviewer: Salazar
Date: 10/03/05 1:29
Chapter: The Seraph of Potions

Wow, Snape really is a sicko! Please update soon!

Author's Response: A lot of people feel that way.

Reviewer: Mierielle
Date: 09/13/05 15:01
Chapter: The Sorrow of the Darkness

I can't wait for your next update! The plot is great and so is Snape's obsession with Hermione, along with her confused feelings for him and Harry... You've got me hooked on this story!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the great review. I'm glad you are enjoying the story.

Reviewer: Mierielle
Date: 09/11/05 19:13
Chapter: Entangled in a Lie

Love it! Snape's still creeping me out, and now Hermione is too! Joy... ;)

Author's Response: It gets better (I hope)

Reviewer: Mierielle
Date: 09/11/05 19:10
Chapter: Prologue

This is definetly one of the better fan fics I've read. Your writing is excellent! Keep it up!

Author's Response: Thank you for such a nice review.

Reviewer: BiggyM
Date: 09/10/05 8:59
Chapter: The Sorrow of the Darkness

This story creeps me out. I can NOT stand the thought of Snape and Hermione, thats just too much for me. Please, the whole Snape obssessing over Hermione is bad enough, dont put them together! Even though if you do, youll split them 'cause this is a H/Hr fic... but its still too creepy to think about. *shudders*

Author's Response: I hope I won't creep you out too much longer but hang in there! Snape/Hermione is one of my favorite sacandalous liasons but I would never claim to be able to write it well. I didn't label it wrong thought it is a H/Hr fic so stay tuned. *grins* Thanks for reading everyone.

Reviewer: Harrysgirl21
Date: 09/08/05 6:53
Chapter: The Sorrow of the Darkness

Alright update already! This story is getting very interesting. I can't wait to see what Hermione does when she talks to Harry. Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Thank you for being patient while I work out the kinks in this story.

Reviewer: Cinderella Angelina
Date: 09/07/05 22:35
Chapter: Entangled in a Lie

I have an opinion about this chapter. The title is different than I thought. I'm so reviewing out of order. Anyway, about my opinion on this chapter: Well, for one thing, the title isn't "sophisticated" enough, and for another thing, I like this chapter. It's really a good description of what is actually going on between those two. Have a nice day! *D*

Author's Response: Thank you for the opinion, we'll talk about it.

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
The Other Prophecy by IWriteToSurvive 3rd-5th Years
Hermione Granger is in a dilemma. A dilemma she never thought could happen...
Do Over by Jeograph 6th-7th Years
Harry plods toward his death, toward the Dark Lord to give himself up, to make...
The Full House by Nagini Riddle 1st-2nd Years
"Power and the money, money and the power,Minute after minute, hour after hour."-Gangsta's...
FEATURED
Oread, Walking by Seren
Cedric was just as odd as Hermione, because he liked to walk. Cedric/Hermione
The Effect of Gamma Rays on Two Terrifically Trapped Gryffindors. by Fenixaze 3rd-5th Years
From the "Stuck where for the weekend?" Challenge on Portkey.org ... Our two...
And Now... by Oregonian 3rd-5th Years
Moments after the death of Voldemort, Harry gazes at the corpse of the Dark...
CATEGORIES