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Name: wengdongdong (Signed) · Date: 09/07/16 22:34 · For: The End of the Beginning
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Name: wengdongdong (Signed) · Date: 09/07/16 22:15 · For: Someone You Didn't Know
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Name: stephaniemalfoy93 (Signed) · Date: 08/14/12 9:40 · For: Epilogue
I was so worried that you would make her remember! Sad, but I must say this was just astonishingly beautiful. Just so beautiful. He promised he would make her remember, though, So I can finaly go to sleep at 5:41 am knowing it all turns out fine. :)


Name: HermioneJeanPotter (Signed) · Date: 09/21/11 14:56 · For: Promise to Remember
O.O Oh. My. Gosh. That's really all I can say about this chapter. Argh! I need to keep reading! I am captivated by this story.


Name: HermioneJeanPotter (Signed) · Date: 09/20/11 20:36 · For: Such a Fool
Oh my gosh, wow!! This is such a twist. I really thought Sirius liked Naomii! This is a great story


Name: Twiilight HP (Signed) · Date: 05/22/11 13:00 · For: Crumble to Ash
This story is so beautiful! *wipes tears from eyes* Among the J/L fics I've read till date (which are a lot, considering I am a hapless fan of the pair), this is the first one in which James isn't portrayed as a hopelessly lovesick puppy. In ur fic, James is character with a deep personality, and he matures in a believable fashion, not to mention Audrey's role.
*I'm going to talk about the locker room confrontation now*A declaration like that would be hard for someone to make to someone who he loves, but it would be even more hard for him to live with that. You managed to capture that without saying 'Lily Lily Lily' in his every sentence and thought.
Then detention in trophy room and Sirius' prank on Snape. Add up a slash from werewolf-remus, being nearly bitten, and a drunk Lily, that was the most exhausting day for James. Still.. *frowns here* I don't know how James managed to carry Lily all the way to Gryffindor tower, give Sirius what he deserved for being an idiotic jerk, AND drag himself to find Snape only to be found by Dumbledore (nice timing, although why he didn't think of it before beats me) and have a nice chit-chat. If he had to spend that much time in Madam Pomfrey's care and still feel sore, then he must have been really beat up. And why didn't his friends notice he was that much injured and tired? instead Sirius dueled him!
Christmas party- whoa! where did that come from?! One second he's relatively happy and enjoying, next he's hurt deely and acts without thinking, and the next thing we know, a carefully encoded secret romantic feelings (late warning:too many adjectives) comes to light. I couldn't make the connection to Sirius/Audrey till she explained everything! Well, Audrey handled James nicely (she's something else, isn't she?) and Sirius didn't make a fuss about it later.
Now about Lily's confession, I loved it! It was straight to the point and Lily addresses her faults (of course people, she has faults. In many fics, she is portrayed as an angel that descended from the sky or something like that). Her confession was the most realistic I've ever seen. And then after the battle, tears left my eyes after reading (imagining to hear more like it) Lily's words; it was the most emotional moment in the whole story, the most emotional thing in the vista of J/L fanfics, if I may say so.
I actually felt thankful to Severus (wow, I'm actually calling him by his first name, WTH?) for landing JP in detention; but I felt guilty when he said he wanted to forget. He had only a small amt of time to be happy with LE; and pity, he couldn't even show her what a great kisser he is.. destiny is cruel...
[Oh no, scratch that last comment. That was so embarassing! I got lost in my musings and...
But I'm not going to delete that, you should know what (alarming n' terrible;) ) influence you have on your readers; and I'm using the word destiny from the story's POV]
Reading the scene in Dumbledore's office and James deciding to protect her by not letting her know, I thought of a remark - like father like son. It seems as Harry inherited something else from his dad other than his looks and quidditch skills. That was heart wrenching, I say.
Lily's POV summing up everything was interesting, too. I was looking for any trace of her confession in it, and no, no trace of it.
Now I'm conflicted. On one hand I want a sequel to see how they inevitably end up together; on the other hand this fic had a finality to it, and I don't want to see James in more pain. (what am i saying? why am i too sentimental about this?)
I really love how you characterised the marauders. You did Peter justice, he acts like a real marauder. Opinion (of James) about Remus is right on the mark. Sirius and James are immature in the beginning; Sirius becomes okay as the story went (I say ok because I still haven't forgiven him for not being sorry about the WW accident) and James grows mature because of his contemplation about his character and love. Audrey is the most emotionally intelligent character i've ever read about. Lily's not too much girly, more like a gryffindor.
At first, in the initial chapters, some unnecessary descriptions were there. I skipped them when it was too much. But later on, the tendency to overdescribe decreased and I could enjoy the story more. I'd advice you to take care of that aspect of your writing as overdescription can sometimes put off the reader.
On a different note, I often find the word(?) 'site' where one would usually expect 'sight' and I don't understand if it's a spelling error or something else. Please clear this up.
Less canon events take place, but the story's so great, noone would be too eager to read about those points. But I think Sirius should've left his home by now, hmm..
I'm signing out now, or I won't stop ranting about you-know-what, so
bye,
~Athira


Name: Twiilight HP (Signed) · Date: 05/22/11 12:59 · For: Crumble to Ash
This story is so beautiful! *wipes tears from eyes* Among the J/L fics I've read till date (which are a lot, considering I am a hapless fan of the pair), this is the first one in which James isn't portrayed as a hopelessly lovesick puppy. In ur fic, James is character with a deep personality, and he matures in a believable fashion, not to mention Audrey's role.
*I'm going to talk about the locker room confrontation now*A declaration like that would be hard for someone to make to someone who he loves, but it would be even more hard for him to live with that. You managed to capture that without saying 'Lily Lily Lily' in his every sentence and thought.
Then detention in trophy room and Sirius' prank on Snape. Add up a slash from werewolf-remus, being nearly bitten, and a drunk Lily, that was the most exhausting day for James. Still.. *frowns here* I don't know how James managed to carry Lily all the way to Gryffindor tower, give Sirius what he deserved for being an idiotic jerk, AND drag himself to find Snape only to be found by Dumbledore (nice timing, although why he didn't think of it before beats me) and have a nice chit-chat. If he had to spend that much time in Madam Pomfrey's care and still feel sore, then he must have been really beat up. And why didn't his friends notice he was that much injured and tired? instead Sirius dueled him!
Christmas party- whoa! where did that come from?! One second he's relatively happy and enjoying, next he's hurt deely and acts without thinking, and the next thing we know, a carefully encoded secret romantic feelings (late warning:too many adjectives) comes to light. I couldn't make the connection to Sirius/Audrey till she explained everything! Well, Audrey handled James nicely (she's something else, isn't she?) and Sirius didn't make a fuss about it later.
Now about Lily's confession, I loved it! It was straight to the point and Lily addresses her faults (of course people, she has faults. In many fics, she is portrayed as an angel that descended from the sky or something like that). Her confession was the most realistic I've ever seen. And then after the battle, tears left my eyes after reading (imagining to hear more like it) Lily's words; it was the most emotional moment in the whole story, the most emotional thing in the vista of J/L fanfics, if I may say so.
I actually felt thankful to Severus (wow, I'm actually calling him by his first name, WTH?) for landing JP in detention; but I felt guilty when he said he wanted to forget. He had only a small amt of time to be happy with LE; and pity, he couldn't even show her what a great kisser he is.. destiny is cruel...
[Oh no, scratch that last comment. That was so embarassing! I got lost in my musings and...
But I'm not going to delete that, you should know what (alarming n' terrible;) ) influence you have on your readers; and I'm using the word destiny from the story's POV]
Reading the scene in Dumbledore's office and James deciding to protect her by not letting her know, I thought of a remark - like father like son. It seems as Harry inherited something else from his dad other than his looks and quidditch skills. That was heart wrenching, I say.
Lily's POV summing up everything was interesting, too. I was looking for any trace of her confession in it, and no, no trace of it.
Now I'm conflicted. On one hand I want a sequel to see how they inevitably end up together; on the other hand this fic had a finality to it, and I don't want to see James in more pain. (what am i saying? why am i too sentimental about this?)
I really love how you characterised the marauders. You did Peter justice, he acts like a real marauder. Opinion (of James) about Remus is right on the mark. Sirius and James are immature in the beginning; Sirius becomes okay as the story went (I say ok because I still haven't forgiven him for not being sorry about the WW accident) and James grows mature because of his contemplation about his character and love. Audrey is the most emotionally intelligent character i've ever read about. Lily's not too much girly, more like a gryffindor.
At first, in the initial chapters, some unnecessary descriptions were there. I skipped them when it was too much. But later on, the tendency to overdescribe decreased and I could enjoy the story more. I'd advice you to take care of that aspect of your writing as overdescription can sometimes put off the reader.
On a different note, I often find the word(?) 'site' where one would usually expect 'sight' and I don't understand if it's a spelling error or something else. Please clear this up.
Less canon events take place, but the story's so great, noone would be too eager to read about those points. But I think Sirius should've left his home by now, hmm..
I'm signing out now, or I won't stop ranting about you-know-what, so
bye,
~Athira


Name: fairy_lights27 (Signed) · Date: 04/25/10 14:56 · For: From You Have I Been Absent in the Spring
This story always makes me want to cry..... It's just too sweet!


Name: ChosenPurrfection (Signed) · Date: 11/02/09 16:45 · For: Up and Down
GRRRR, this chapter made me hate the effing btch!


Name: twilightfan101 (Signed) · Date: 09/10/09 17:56 · For: Epilogue
that was so bad i hated it they didnt stay together she didnt even remember!!!!


Name: ron lover (Signed) · Date: 06/27/09 1:35 · For: Epilogue
I LOVE this whole story. It's amazing. It's one of my all time faveroites. I would coninue on but I'm going to stop because of the late hour. I really really love it!!!!


Name: ron lover (Signed) · Date: 06/27/09 1:17 · For: From You Have I Been Absent in the Spring
I like the letter she gave to James. It made me laugh.


Name: ron lover (Signed) · Date: 06/27/09 1:07 · For: Silent Night
I am so sad. The last paragraph id probably my faveroire ever. I love it.


Name: ron lover (Signed) · Date: 06/27/09 1:03 · For: Promise to Remember
OH MY GOD!!!! How could they do that?


Name: ron lover (Signed) · Date: 06/27/09 0:54 · For: Wine Tasting
That is probably my faveroite scene where they get together. I love it.


Name: ron lover (Signed) · Date: 06/27/09 0:43 · For: Eternally Bound
I still love Audrey. I love her character. It's so cool.


Name: ron lover (Signed) · Date: 06/27/09 0:37 · For: Saving Snape
That was unexpected.....


Name: ron lover (Signed) · Date: 06/27/09 0:30 · For: Victory Talk
I loved the Quidditch scene, but I'm sad with the end.


Name: ron lover (Signed) · Date: 06/27/09 0:22 · For: Poetry
I like this chapter.


Name: ron lover (Signed) · Date: 06/27/09 0:12 · For: Cold Fog
I hope she's okay.


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