Sad but very good. You got Ron's personality perfectly- a little gawky but perfect to hermione.
Author's Response: Thank you very much! I'm glad I got Ron's personality down pat. :)
Amazing story, I loved it.
Author's Response: Thank you very much!
OMG THIS WAS SO GOOD
I love fics where Harry dies for some reason...
I love the angst...
Author's Response: Thank you so much.
* huge sob* HARRY DIED!!!?!?!?!?!? well i gues i cant blame you. I loved this story. I cant wait to hear more from you (i mean other stories).
Author's Response: Yeah, unfortunately. I'm hoping that if I kill him off in my fan fiction, it won't actually happen in the series. Thanks for the review! :) As for new stories... I have to get through grade 11 first. :)
Wow, cool start, DONT LEAVE ME HANGING!!!!! UPDATE SOOOOOOON!!!!!!
Author's Response: Glad you like it. Thanks for the review.
I'll be honest, I wasn't thrilled with the Prologue. There was nothing in particular, it just struck me wrong. But the second chapter made me almost cry. The way you killed off Harry was so sad!
The main thing I noticed in this chapter was Ron's thoughts. I would think they need to be in first person. Also, the Great Hall may not necessarily have been romantically decorated, since this was a graduation ball.
Over all, good job! I like it, it would be interesting to see where they went from here.
Author's Response: Thanks for your critiques, and for the review. I really didn't think about the decorations very much. =P
I really like this! It's one of the few R/H stories that I have read, because I avoid the pair as much as I possibly can. But your summary drew me in, so here I am.
Your description is extremely well done. You have a great talent with that and help the readers create a good, clear image in their minds. Hermione's characterization is on the spot as is Ron's. Wonderful, from beginning to end.
A couple things though - I suggest that you leave out the Start of Flashback/End of Flashback/End words, because they disrupt the flow of the stories. Instead, italicize the flashbacks. I know that clashes with the lyrics, but I think the readers are smart enough to realize that it is, in fact, lyrics.
Those are my only nitpicks there. I very much like how, in your prologue you included that bit of humor when the story was generally sad, or quiet-like.
Author's Response: Thank you very much for your review! I'm really honoured that you decided to read my fic as one of the few Ron/Hermione stories that drew you in. I'm also very glad that the characterization is good because I take pride in getting to know the characters really well when I read books. Also, thank you for your suggestion to italicize the flashbacks - I was told that be someone else too but haven't gotten around to doing it yet. =)
I really enjoyed the first chapter. The second one is okay too, but it seemed a little soon after Harry's death for Ron and Hermione to slip into such a confortable understanding. Grade: B
Author's Response: Thank you very much for your review! I'm glad you enjoyed the story, and I appreciate your opinion too. I would say that Ron and Hermione are still haunted by Harry's death, with Ron still experiencing flashbacks of the event. I've never personally experienced death of a loved one, but for some people, I would think it takes a while before it hits them, and the pain will be numb. In the story, they have to get away from everyone else, to be alone with themselves - being the few people hit so tragically by his death. Those are the signs that indicate that Ron and Hermione are still dealing with his death, if you know what I mean.
Hey! Great work! You made me cry almost! Keep writting! Can't wait to read more! Loved how the story unfolded through Ron's thoughts! R/HR!
Author's Response: Thank you very much for your review. :D:D
this is one of the most meaningful stories i have ever read. i think it's awesome. keep up the good work ;)!!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the compliments! I'm so glad this story made an impact on you. Thanks for reviewing. :)
Almost made me cry at the end. Almost, mind you.
Author's Response: Glad that I managed to stir a bit of emotion in you, hope you don't mind. Thanks a lot for the review. It's encouraging to know that my writing is at least a bit effective. :)
Hi! I'm cheating and reviewing both chapters at once, I'm afraid. I think this was a very nicely written story, which had an interesting structure - you let the tale unfold in a very skilfull way, with the use of the Ball, Ron's thoughts and then this section in the forest. I thought the inclusion of the song worked very well, and as I usually hate anything with song lyrics in, that is a compliment indeed!
The characterisation was good, and you avoided Ron being too sappily romantic but still very sweet. There were some nice touches of humour in the first chapter, with the description of Ron going to the girl' dorm. I think you could have made more of this by using some dialogue, rather than description.
I don't think you need your 'flashback' 'end of flashback' headings as these always look clumsy to me. The transition works quite well as it is, but you could probably make it a little clearer by just adding a line or two of thoughts, or dialogue here and there.
Occasionally you have a tendancy to use a 'big' word where a simpler one would be more effective. eg fallacious
All in all it was very touching and sweet. You didn't go overboard with the romance and this added a nice sense of undestatement, but still conveyed their love for each other. Well done! Glad you decided to publish, as I enjoyed reading it greatly.
Author's Response: Wow, thank you very much for your review! Itís definitely the most thorough review Iíve received. All your compliments and suggestions are greatly appreciated. Now that I look back on it, I agree that the indications of flashbacks could be avoided. Iím glad I didnít make Ronís love to overly romantic Ė itís probably due to the fact that I donít read a lot of romance novels, but a lot of Ron and Hermione fan fiction (like yours!). As for those big words, I was looking off a list of ďinterestingĒ vocabulary I made so I could start using more often. Sometimes I think in my mind that Iíll sound older if I big words, when overusing them probably has the opposite effect. Thank you again for all the help youíve provided with this review, it is much appreciated.
Great story. Nothing huge happened but it was very simple and sometimes thats the best thing.
Author's Response: Thank you for taking the time to review! =) Harry dying not a huge thing for you? Haha, I'm just kidding. I realize that a lot of the Ron and Hermione 'events' happened in HBP already.. which makes it harder to make an impact. Originally I wrote this fic before HBP. Thanks for reading!
Its coolio but write quickly!!! :P
Author's Response: Thank you. I've submitted the chapter last Saturday but they haven't moderated it yet. Keep your eyes open for it soon. :)
I LOVED IT KEEP WRITING DON'T JUST LEAVE ME HERE HANGING!!!!!:^D Keep up the awesome work!!!!!!!!!!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for your compliments! I've had the main story done for ages - even before writing the prologue - but even still I find things I need to redo. School is getting in the way, but I promise to update as soon as I'm free. :)
Author's Response: I'm glad you think it's pretty good so far. Thanks for the review. :)