Oh my goodness! I want to read more! Great job! I feel so bad for Merope. I wish her life had turned out better. :(
Hey Orlaith! This, by far, is one of the best fics about Merope I've read. Merope seems helpless enough, but when she has a will to do something, she'll try and do it. You stated that she'll go to the window to look at the Squire's son, which is showing part of her character. I'm glad you showed it!
There was only one little bit that I didn't see; when you say "star at a star", shouldn't it be "stare at a star"? Besides that one little nitpick, I found it quite good and I am really hankering for the next chapter. Keep it up! :)
Author's Response: There are a few mistakes I've picked up on - needless to say, in my next free moment, I'll have a check through and put them right. I'm planning to continue with this one, but I'm not sure how to make the transition between her former existance and the freedom she now has - I'll have a think on it. Thank you very much!
I love the concept of writing this episode from Meriope's point of view. What a sad, miserable existence she had--utterly depression, but fertile soil for a story. Interesting perspective that her father cared for her as one would care for a possession. No wonder she was desperate for love that she enchanted Tom so she could be with him. Great job!
Author's Response: I'm going to write this up until her death, I think that her character is possibly my favourite - it really upset me to think that Tom Riddle Jnr - Voldemort - thought that his mother was weak and that she didn't love him enough to live, I'm going to make you all think otherwise... I have plans, you see. Thanks for the lovely review!
Merlin! I Love it! (and not just because of the comma. haha.) In all seriousness though, the topic & characters for this piece have something morbidly interesting about them. That makes te fic way more interesting just because of the characters. Merope's actins are just as I imagined her, as well as Marvolo's and Morfins. I loved the knife scene (just...don't ask why.), it was written beautifully and actually seems like something that would've happened. I /think/ I noticed an -gasp- error! In one sentence, I believe it should be "Shoulder" instead of "shoud." This one: "She fell to her knee as she felt the knife sink into her should." Other than that, I really enjoyed it and can't wait for more! --Jen
I actually saw those mistakes - I'm just lazy - I'll change them next week maybe. Yeah, the characters are definately the morbid kind and their despair or interests make it all the more compelling. Im really glad you liked my portrayal of Marvolo - he must have meant something to merope for naming her son after him. I'm stuck on how to begin the next chapter, but I'll have a ponder. Cheers, Jen!
I agree with Potterphile, this is an excellent start. I thought Merope was one of the more interesting new characters in HBP, so i'm looking forward to reading the rest of this story. 10/10
Author's Response: I like morfin, I might write a Morfin fic. He's my hero. Hehehe - I'm really glad you liked it, thanks!
Wow, that was amazing. I see now that you're not only a great beta, but a great author as well. You embody a broken women who lives life only by going through the motions so well. I was in tears when you described her lifeless existence. And this line: "An utter feeling of lifelessness shadowed her every move as she swept ethereally around the sleeping house." This line was a mindblowing. It was so poignant, it really made you feel for Merope. I also like that you took things from HBP but made them your own, by showing them from Merope's perspective. The ending was terrifying. I think at thebeginning Marvolo was protrayed as almost fatherly, though and I don't think it suits him. Then last scene was much more appropriate. Really well done.
Firstly, thank you so much, I really am grateful for such a wonderful review. I am a very picky person by nature, and Merope's child, Tom, is called Tom Marvolo Riddle - Marvolo after Meropes father - I wanted to try and explain the affection Merope must have had toward her father to name her own son after him. So I think that Marvolo Gaunt must have had some positive attributes.
I think Merope's story is far more interesting really, she is quite a complex character and there are so many layers to her than I think we see. It'll be interesting to see if JKR elaborates on her (Doubtful, but I can hope).
Thank you for this, its really made my day!