Not a bad first poem. It didn't flow just right, but it wasn't too bad. 7/10
Awsome! I thought it was realy good! And sssoooooooo sad. I wan't him to LLIIVVEE! oh well, good poem any way 10/10
I was perusing the site and stumbled into the poetry section and noticed you had no reviews. So I read your poem and came to offer praise and constructive criticism. Anyway, I first want to say I'm no poetry expert, so take anything constructive I have to say with a grain of salt. The second thing I wish to speak is that this wasn't half bad. I liked it. It had a simplistic style, okay diction, and good rhythm. There were a couple lines I was skeptical about and wondered if they belonged in the poem. A smile on his face was not out of place kind of threw me for a loop. I didn't think these lines fitted very well with the overall theme and were only placed there for filler. Othere than that, I really have nothing else to say on the matter.
Anyway, good poem. I'm glad I stumbled across it.