Reviewer: AlexisTaylor
Date: 08/28/05 14:43
Chapter: Prologue- February 1st, 1998

Hello! As a warning, I tend to get nitpicky. I’ll take care of the details first, then get to the good parts afterward.

“The surrounding shops were decked in various Christmas decorations: Holly, mistletoe and glittering stars covered windows and doors. “ Instead of a colon, you’d want a semi-colon and to make the ‘h’ on ‘holly’ lowercase.

“approaching N.E.W.T examinations.” Here, you missed the last period after the ‘T’ in ‘N.E.W.T.s’.

“…a think woolen cloak…” Here, I’m not sure if you meant thin or thick.

I think you’ve got their characterization down pretty well in the first chapter. Ron doesn’t think before he acts on his curiosity, Harry notices anything abnormal, and Hermione . . . well, she didn’t get much screen time, but she seemed in character nonetheless.

I like how you’ve described the backdrop of Hogsmeade. It wasn’t too heavy on the details, but painted a picture for the reader to finish. I’m partial to this style, of course, because I tend to write this way as well. The description of the amulet certainly followed suit. I saw this chapter, however, as a bridge chapter, and fully expect more character development as you move along.

I like, also, the subject you are getting into. The Salem Witch Trials was a horrible time period in our history, and lasted a relatively long time. I wouldn’t be surprised if one of the trio ends up dead. Certainly, they’re only up against Muggles, but why are wizards afraid of Muggles? Because en masse, any creature can be extremely dangerous. Wizards are not immune to humans. Good luck with your future chapters!



Author's Response: Ooo! Good review! Don't worry, readers who go through the story carefully and pick up the little things help me improve. I'd better correct a few thngs... :D And yes, united, anything can be dangerous... thats all I'll say! :) Thanks for the luck...

Reviewer: SiriuslyPadfoot12
Date: 08/24/05 15:21
Chapter: Prologue- February 1st, 1998

Oh, wow! Excellent story. Really, really well-written. An interesting story idea, too. I feel like I'm reliving "The Cruciable". ::wink:: I can't wait for more; the whole concept is intriguing. A bit of constructive critisism, though, if you don't mind: ‘We’re stuck in 1692? Forever?!’ Ron looked mortified.' Mortified means you're very embarrassed. I think the word you were looking for is "horrified". Sorry; the grammar freak in me couldn't help it. Awesome story! A ten, a ten!

Author's Response: No problem! You're just helping me improve my writing. Thanks a bunch. Sadly the fourth chapter is stuck somewhere in the queue and I've e-mailed a staff member but nothings come up yet. Patience my readers! :)

Reviewer: Dragonology
Date: 08/16/05 18:08
Chapter: February 1st, 1692

Nice job! You must really enjoy history, at least about Salem! If only I had known that I would get an interesting history lesson in a Harry Potter story...:)Of course, a 10!

Author's Response: Well, subimissons have, sadly, been closed until the 24th as you all know so no upodates till then. :( I promise I'll be putting new chapters up quicker (if they get through the queue) since I've written quite a few.

Author's Response: Well, subimissons have, sadly, been closed until the 24th as you all know so no upodates till then. :( I promise I'll be putting new chapters up quicker (if they get through the queue) since I've written quite a few.

Reviewer: Dragonology
Date: 08/16/05 17:59
Chapter: Prologue- February 1st, 1998

Very creative! I like the unique twist you added to it with the Salem Witch Trials. Major cliffhanger though, I have to keep reading it and find out. You're on my favorites list! :)

Author's Response: Thank you! Yay! Someone added me to their favorites list! Hopefully the next chapter will be up soooooon! Otherwise I'll be e-mailing the staff. ;D

Reviewer: Pottergirl
Date: 08/14/05 17:50
Chapter: February 2nd, 1692

*Bites nails in anticipation* Please, oh PLEASE UUUPPPDDAATTEE SSSOOOONN!! A 10! 101010

Author's Response: Wow! I like this review! :D

Reviewer: wandwood
Date: 08/13/05 3:41
Chapter: February 2nd, 1692

This is a great chapter! I really enjoyed it. I have a question though, is the past characters languge changed so we can understand it or is that the way you picture them speaking? The plot is a very intresting one and i am completely clue less as to how they will get back, unless.....unless they need to retern at the same spot the came in at so the will need to steal the amulet from the majastraite in a daring adventure with help from samanthas daughter who iss the only one who knows were they are from and who is having a romance with ron or harry. Well its an idea! It dosn't matter about having to wait i think it will be worth while! though i do hope the next chapter will be long to make up for the wait :) I think this is worth a ten oh and by the way what is the book that inspiered you to write this? wandwood

Author's Response: I love long pieces of feedback! Okay, let me answer all these great questions. The language of the characters from the past has been changed. For one things its easier to understand and for another its easier to write. I hate using 'thy' and 'thou' and I have trouble writing old-fashioned. I like your plot idea... though I'm not going to tell you if its right or wrong! :) The book that inspired this was actually NOT a book about the Salem Witch Trials. It was based on them but indirectly... it was a Robin Cook novel called Acceptable Risk. The novel is actually about personality altering drugs but it was tied-in with the Trials. The next chapter isn't very long but as soon as it gets posted I'll submit the next ones. I have no idea whats up with the staff but it does get annoying. :)

Reviewer: Blondeshorte88
Date: 08/08/05 22:16
Chapter: February 2nd, 1692

awesome chapter. i luv how ur story is different from others. i read about the salem witchcraft trials and i think it was a good idea to center ur story around them b/c it was very interesting to read about.

Reviewer: Blondeshorte88
Date: 08/08/05 22:15
Chapter: February 2nd, 1692

awesome chapter. i luv how ur story is different from others. i read about the salem witchcraft trials and i think it was a good idea to center ur story around them b/c it was very interesting to read about.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. Just a message to my readers. The next chappie had been submitted a few days ago but it seems the staff is swamped so I have no clue when the chapter will be up. Patience is the key to... the next chapter. :)

Reviewer: socks4dobby
Date: 08/05/05 17:55
Chapter: February 2nd, 1692

another excellent chapter! please say that the next one will be up soon! :)

Author's Response: OK, I'll say it! The next chapter is already in the waiting line and I'm sure it'll be up very soon. All my readers look out for another one-shot of mine and a lengthy FF called A Magic of the Giants which are also in the line! :) :)

Reviewer: vigal
Date: 08/04/05 8:52
Chapter: February 2nd, 1692

Oh good chapter! I thought ron and harry were sure going to get arrested! oh my heart was pounding... great story... and so far your history of new england is pretty good and accurete...

Reviewer: vigal
Date: 08/03/05 16:16
Chapter: Prologue- February 1st, 1998

I love it! so good and with a different twist... and yeah the salem witch thing did happen... although I didn't know all of that until you told me aka your reader great info... can't wait to see where you take the story... hope trio doesn't get caught...

Reviewer: Morwen
Date: 08/01/05 22:35
Chapter: February 1st, 1692

Very nice story, I like that you talked about Ergot because few people know about that.

Author's Response: I found out about the Ergot theory in a book and it was so strange how an illness was blamed on witchcraft that I was totally hooked.

Reviewer: socks4dobby
Date: 08/01/05 17:38
Chapter: February 1st, 1692

wow you really know your history...you wrote the late 1600's time period perfectly! it's hard to write about time periods in which you've never lived in...i'm amazed at how wonderfully written this story is. you deserve a 10!

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm glad the history bit was accurate. I had very little information and I had to work with stuff from my classes at school.

Reviewer: wandwood
Date: 08/01/05 7:42
Chapter: Prologue- February 1st, 1998

i like this very much its a fantastic idea and as i am reading a story or have read a story called witch child based in salem or new england it is very fitting 10/10 :D

Author's Response: Great! I got inspiration for this story from another novel actually and so it dows fit in. Glad you enjoyed it.

Reviewer: Godess of Lions
Date: 08/01/05 3:41
Chapter: February 1st, 1692

Very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very awsome... Need I say more

Author's Response: Tee, hee. That was a mouthful! The best reviews are the ones that make their point clear! ;)

Reviewer: Godess of Lions
Date: 08/01/05 3:37
Chapter: Prologue- February 1st, 1998

more... more!... MORE...MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reviewer: socks4dobby
Date: 07/31/05 20:38
Chapter: Prologue- February 1st, 1998

i have a feeling that this story is going to be even better as it progresses. wonderful first chapter. i must say that you are a great author!

Reviewer: Tia Blu
Date: 07/31/05 11:44
Chapter: Prologue- February 1st, 1998

Short, but nice start. Try to expound a little more, but it was fantastic. I love that you're using the Salem Witch Trials. Post more A.S.A.P!

Author's Response: Prologues are hard to write as I recently found out. The shortness was mainly due to the difficulty I had in writing it. I'l take your tip and try to explain a bit more. Thanks!

Reviewer: stareyed_in_LA
Date: 07/30/05 15:59
Chapter: Prologue- February 1st, 1998

I think this is a good begining of what will be a great story. Please write more! I want to know what will happen next!

Author's Response: The next chapter is in the Queue and its a nice long one. It should be up very soon! Thanks for the wonderful review.

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