Ha the last 2 lines got me it was halarious! So onward to the sequel!!
again i say brilliant and beautiful
happy new year aswell
aww!!! i love it!!!
you are my best friend you know that, a fellow ron and mione shipper, through and through plus you are number 6 in a row for not killing off mione and making me cry thankyou this is fantastic yesss
lol, i like that ending.. =)
That was soooo sweet! And so very like them.
Good job! Running to the sequel.
Awww. What a sweet R/Hr fic! :D I love the scene in the bedroom it's very cute, and your writings is really good too. You keep them IC and yet convey the feelings that we never actually "hear" expressed from their POVs in canon.
This seems like the best way for those two to get together. Good job.
Harry’s attitude in the beginning was close to how I would imagine him acting. I like his calmness and his sort of reflective look at everything. After the end of Half Blood Prince, I could really see him being this way, and it was great not seeing him overly angsty or heroic like you see in a lot of stories. I thought you wrote his character accurately for the time and place you were writing him in. It’s great to see Harry in such a simple but nicely written scene. I really got the impression that it was the actual Harry we’ve read in the books.
I don’t read much Ron/Hermione because I find that it is too childish or too dramatic in a lot of stories, but I like the scene you wrote for this romance. You had a great setting with just them at the Burrow together, acting just the way the normally would at first. Even though the scene between them isn’t very long, it doesn’t feel overly rushed or unbelievable. The conversation leading up to the romance really worked with these two characters, and it made the actual romance very believable. I like how they act and feel differently around each other, but not so much that it’s too awkward or unconvincing. You handled both of their emotions, dialogue, and characteristics well.
I have some comments and nitpicks…
“I haven’t gotten used to the idea that we can do magic out of school now,”
This is incredibly nit-picky, but most British people don’t commonly use the word ‘gotten’. Instead I would suggest changing it to ‘become’.
Moving his hand to her cheek and then into her hair, her gently pulled her closer.
I’m guessing you meant he gently pulled her closer.
The beginning letters from Harry and the scene at the Burrow didn’t seem to relate to each other much at all. I thought you could have both of them connected together more than you did. Hermione thinks of the letter once in the second scene, but other that that nothing is mentioned about it. It’s almost like reading two separate stories. I don’t think the scene with Harry was really all that necessary for the Ron/Hermione part of the story. It seemed like you just added it in randomly. To make it relate more and flow a bit better, you might have Ron and Hermione discuss the letter or how Harry was doing at Privet Drive.
For this being your first posted story, I think you did a really good job. Romance is difficult to write believably, so for this being your first attempt, it was handled very well. You avoided the melodrama and rushed romance that a lot of first romance attempts have, and instead you used more of a subtle approach, something that works well in a Ron/Hermione story. I liked the chemistry and slight awkwardness you displayed with your characters and the ending was really sweet. It was a great romance one shot. I’ll be looking for more stories by you. Nice work!
Katty – Knight of the Turnip Table
This Is Great
I really love Ron/Hermione fics, but I'm pretty sure they are the hardest to pull off! There is a happy medium in between -totally un-realisticly mature- to- way to childish- that some people seem to just over look, I know that not all fics are suppose to be like the book but I like the ones that are. Some writters put in that they have sex right after the first kiss and some make it so they just hold hands and go all giddy! Neither one would probably EVER happen!
I personally like it best when Ron is the more confidant one and HE makes the first move, but with Hermione's strong headed-ness that would never really happen in the book, even though I have a bad feeling that we will never get to see their first kiss anyway because we follow Harry around instead, which by the way I'm totally bumed out about because JKR will probably just put something in like Ron telling Harry about him and Hermione or maybe we just never find out at all !!!! I have been working it out in my head and the best way it could happen is that Harry should be under the invisibility cloak at the time so we get to see that wonderful moment that we have all been waiting for, first hand!!! Even though that would be really uncomfortable for Harry.....all well he'll get over it! Anyway I love your story and it's completely perfect because,well.........because you wrote it!!!!!!!! =} I'm sorry this is kind of just me ranting about what kind of stories I like better instead of a review. It probably doesn't make sense either.
But it's been a long day and I'm pretty sure I'm half way asleep and this is all a dream anyway!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love ya much, your annoying little reviewer :Bubs
Author's Response: Thanks! I don't usually respond to reviews because there's often not much to comment on, but I have to say, agree with your assessment of a lot of the fandom treatment of R/Hr. And I'm glad you enjoyed it. As a matter of fact, I've been thinking about taking it off of the archive and you may have saved it. It was my very first fanfic, and I see a lot of awfulness, but if someone can still enjoy it, I'll let it be. Thank you!!
beautifuly sweet.u did a great job
beautifuly sweet.u did a great job
I liked it!
i love it! wow ! thats the best r/hr fanfiction i've ever read
I love all your R/Hr stories. There so sweet...awwww.....young love.
i love it!!!! very cute!!
u need 2 write alot more stories!
i love these one shots. you seem to have ron and hermione's characters down to their cores.
well done, almost worthy of j.k...almost ;0)
Aw so sweet. I'm all happy now :)
Ooooooooooh! So adorable!!!!!! Lurve it.
write another chapter!