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Reviews For The Severed Souls

Name: NoxSomnium (Signed) · Date: 05/29/06 16:42 · For: Unearthing the Truth
Oooh oooh, fun fun fun. These last few chapters have been delightfully fast paced.


Name: hpfan4eva (Signed) · Date: 05/24/06 14:38 · For: The Darkest Night
real cliffhanger and a really good start to the sequel


Name: Fantasium (Signed) · Date: 05/22/06 18:00 · For: Unearthing the Truth
*draws a deep breath and gets brain into review mode*

Let me jump straight to Darkacre. To begin with, I discovered an interesting reaction in my brain. On the one hand I was a little disappointed over how easy it was for Roderick to enter, because your writing has made me expect more of Severus. But on the other hand, if anyone was to figure it out at all, it would have been Roderick or Maeve. So, there, I shan’t linger on that.

Secondly, I’m finding it very difficult not to beg for a chaptered account of the love story of Vervain Snape and Stephen Gryps. And as I’m on that subject, I keep wanting to read more of Severus’ and Maeve’s time at Hogwarts together. =)

Look, I managed to keep my excitement in check until the third paragraph of the review. But OMGOSHNESS, Severus is the heir of Godric Gryffindor! *wears classical deer-before-headlights expression* Jan, I don’t think the turns of your storytelling will ever cease to surprise me. What can I say? It’s like you manage to take the usual clichés (Harry being the heir of Gryffindor, for example), twist them around a bit and turn them into something original and mind-boggling. I sure wonder what this will mean in the great scheme of things… There is bound to be a heir of Slytherin/heir of Gryffindor confrontation of some sort, no? And that really makes me wonder where the Harry/Maeve/Neville business will fit in… It tickles my mind, because I suspect that you’ve got something great planned. As so often with your writing, it’s like I can sense some of what might be coming, but I can never really grasp it. Yet when things do happen, they appear so familiar, right and logical.

It almost feels superfluous to praise your characterisation of, well, any HP character really, but I’m still going to compliment you on Harry in this chapter. It’s exactly the Harry I was wishing to see in this situation! The rage against everything to do with Severus, the words, tone and actions he meets Maeve with – it’s just right. Very canon of you too, to throw a little Harry/Ginny into the mix. And the tension at the end of the chapter! Evil Jan, just cutting it off like that when we come to the very scene I’ve been waiting so long for. You sure know how to keep your readers hooked. ;)

Moving back a bit, to Draco. My, my, he is in trouble! I wouldn’t have thought him quite so drastic though. Even if he didn’t know what Nagini actually was (if it was what we think), would he really have killed Voldemort’s precious pet snake? He couldn’t have thought very far… he must have just done it because he was angry with Nagini… *ponders* And I wonder what Roderick has in mind for him? Roderick, who insists on keeping me unsure, who I expect will have me wondering about him even when the story is over.

And Albert! Why, oh why, did he have to come down with cancer? Surely, cancer must be easily curable through magical means? Or am I to guess that his approaching end is important to the story? Well, he surely can’t go until he’s been of some use – to the wizarding world and to his grandson.

To round off, lol, I must express my amusement at the “lighter” sides of Voldemort you presented in this chapter. Yes, he’s still evilness itself, but his “I think the last occasion of anyone telling the time using such an antiquated method was in 1576.” and “Yes, surely you’ve heard of it: quite a large country just to the of France. Full of Germans, apparently.” actually made me smile. Oh, and what do you know, I didn’t notice it before I copied the quote, but there seems to be a “right” missing – “to the right of France”.

Amazing as always. I feel no urge whatsoever to go and pick up my copy of The Turn of the Screw, no, I’d much rather stay here and proceed further into the mysterious and masterly written windings of Harry Potter and the Severed Souls.


Name: Cheshlin (Signed) · Date: 05/17/06 22:56 · For: The Heir of Gryffindor
I have wondered for a while if Severus could somehow be Griffindore's heir. I had a feeling he was. I hope that he can somehow help Albert. Albert deserves better then to die a horrible and lonely death. At least he has found he has an heir. That is pretty cool. I'm glad that Remus has somehow come to the conclusion that Harry is still alive. I hope that everyone else sees it sometime soon too. I'm also glad that Harry and Severus have come to some understanding. I don't think they will ever like each other, or ever truly get along, but they should be able to work with each other. I look forward to the next chapter!!!


Name: anAnachronism (Signed) · Date: 05/17/06 19:32 · For: The Heir of Gryffindor
I was right! I'm doing my own little dance of happiness at this masterful revelation. Of course, it was al due to you and your cleverly placed clues that I came to that conclusion. This is a fascinating and unexpected plot twist. I wonder if Voldemort knows? If that's why he keeps Severus around? I can't wait to see what happens next. Please tell me you are working on the next chapter!


Name: Elaine Lahey (Signed) · Date: 05/17/06 14:03 · For: The Heir of Gryffindor
So Snape is the heir of Gryffindor! Will wonders never cease. I love the twists and turns you put in this story. I live for updates. Well done.


Name: deramo29 (Signed) · Date: 05/17/06 9:52 · For: Unearthing the Truth
your stories are fantastic!!!! sometimes I forget that this is fanfiction. I wish it was a real book because I would highly recomend it to anyone. Keep up the great work.


Name: Satyafakeer (Signed) · Date: 05/14/06 5:04 · For: Unearthing the Truth
Speed up. it is unbearable.


Name: NoxSomnium (Signed) · Date: 05/13/06 18:36 · For: Portraits.
Sad!


Name: NoxSomnium (Signed) · Date: 05/10/06 14:11 · For: The Darkest Night
For some reason, I found it difficult to read this chapter up until apporximately when they get to the Dusty House. It really seemed to drag up until then. I'm not sure why. It's not that it's long, I like long chapters. Roderick seems a bit different in this one versus DoL. Not to mention I was about to alternately strangle him and bash my head against the wall when he kidnapped Maeve. IDIOTS! Not you dear, your character :D.


Name: surrypotter (Signed) · Date: 05/07/06 17:39 · For: Unearthing the Truth
Ohhh excellent plot twist, I cannot wait to see what comes of this. I just love your writing style, and your stories. Keep up the excellent work!!!


Name: anAnachronism (Signed) · Date: 05/06/06 16:13 · For: Unearthing the Truth
AH!!!! SNAPE IS GRYFFINDOR'S HEIR!!! AH!!!

Okay, so maybe I'm way off, but that what I'm thinking right now. I mean with the ruby in the sword and....oh.

Very exciting chapter (as you can see, I liked it a lot). Keep up the marvelous writing!


Name: miss padfoot (Signed) · Date: 05/06/06 1:35 · For: Unearthing the Truth
Oh, wow! I just can't wait to see how the Snape-Harry encounter goes. Poor Maeve, amazing she puts up with everyone shouting at her, seeing as it's not really in her nature... but given the circumstances, it's quite understandable.

And poor Albert Gryps, I really feel bad for him. He's never kept well, and the news about Severus' parentage is quite interesting. Hope Maeve and Severus get to him before the poor guy dies.

And what is Severus going to do about producing Harry's body? Ah, well... he's at least got some time before Voldemort returns. Maybe he could slip Harry the Draught of Living Death or summat... but I just can't see Harry agreeing to that. Anyway, I'm rambled on enough I think, update soon, Jan!


Name: Cheshlin (Signed) · Date: 05/05/06 21:19 · For: Unearthing the Truth
That was another great chapter. Poor Albert. I hope that he gets to meet his grandson and his wife before he gets too sick. That was a very interesting twist. I love that Maeve had an answer to that question for Severus. Poor Harry having everyone think he is dead. That must really be hard on him. I hope that he can come to believe in Severus enough to follow the plan, at least mostly. I can understand why he wants Ginny told. I still hold to the fact that people that know Maeve would know she would never let Harry die. (I'm leaning most toward Remus, Ron and Hermione though) Poor Draco. Nothing ever goes his way. I can't figure Rampton out. There seems to be two of him or something. I can understand when he helped Jenny, but him collecting Draco seems weird to me. Oh well. I don't have him totally figured out yet anyhow.


Name: Breeze (Signed) · Date: 05/05/06 12:47 · For: Unearthing the Truth
this is an excellent story and a little bit of a cliff hanger at the end of the chapter. The plot is moving along well too.


Name: BloodRayne (Signed) · Date: 05/05/06 11:05 · For: Unearthing the Truth
Oh god...to leave it at that is torture! One little thing...I sort of feel that Roderick isn't himself...not as cheerful and ...carefree as he used to be. But maybe I'm just imagining things. Anyway, great chapter and update soon!


Name: Khrys (Signed) · Date: 05/05/06 10:45 · For: Unearthing the Truth
I am hooked on Maeve! I love these stories.


Name: Fantasium (Signed) · Date: 05/04/06 7:47 · For: Confrontation
Tee hee. You’re probably wondering what I’m doing now, Jan. Well, I thought since I had completely messed up with my responsibilities for this worthy chapter, I might as well take my original comments and turn them into a review instead. (That, and the fact that I don’t trust my e-mail…)

I really like how focused this chapter is. Don’t get me wrong, it’s always amazing to see and learn what is happening in different places of the Severed Souls-world, but since that’s what we’re normally spoiled with this becomes more special. Everything in this chapter concentrates on the same event, and all of the actions become more intense.

Intense, yes, as the potion-brewing and the caring for Harry. Serious as the situation is, this is pure enjoyment for any Severus/Maeve shipper. You have written love-making and tenderness for us before, but I almost dare say this is better. Some of my favourite fictional relationships are favourites just because of that – because the author has written two characters in a situation where they need to work together for something important. Through such work, it seems that a good author has got a perfect opportunity to show care, compatibility, understanding and chemistry between two characters – just like you have done here.

What he really meant, Maeve reflected, was that if she administered the potion, he could not be said to have saved Harry Potter’s life. - I love that Maeve understands this, and I love that you show it to us.

Remus, my Remus. You don’t happen to be planning some Remus/Felicia cubs, do you? Because I think he would make quite a brilliant father. His concern for Harry is so touching, so perfectly written. Also… this might be a bit far-fetched, but for some reason I get the feeling that after getting a dose of Sirius from the portrait, Remus somehow cares even more for his friend’s godson. Oh, and don’t ask me why because I can’t explain it, but when I read this chapter I suddenly had a vision of a Harry/Remus conversation at the very end of Severed Souls, a sort of thoughtful end-of-the-adventure conversation where Harry actually thanks Remus for all that he has done. Yes, Jan, your story does all kinds of strange things to my mind. ;)

Oooh, I’m very excited about Severus’ plan! Excellent turn of the plot, Jan! I don’t know what I expected to follow Harry’s injury, but certainly not this! I had a hunch that it might lead to a Harry/Severus confrontation, but no idea that we would take such a big step on the way towards Voldemort. I simply can’t wait to see how things turn out, and I’m more anxious than ever to read the meeting between Harry and Severus. Especially with this: Wherever it was, a confrontation between Severus and Harry would be inevitable, and she knew that she needed to start preparing for that. - It really makes me wonder what role Maeve will play…

Bit of nitpicking:

“But Severus is.capable. - A mysterious dot has appeared between “is” and “capable”.

The came corner that had seen Severus commit to acts that he probably would have shied away from without her involvement bringing his sense of obligation to the fore. - I’m guessing that should be “The same corner”, not “The came corner”?

Then I really need to ask you about something. When Maeve had seen to Harry, she tried to lift him. I wonder why? Where was he planning on taking him? She obviously didn’t think about using her ability until Severus suggested it, and she can’t Apparate. Those are really the reasons I can think of for her to actually try to lift him with her own strength. Is there a reason she did not Levitate him instead? Yes, I do realise that using magic puts a bit of distance between them, but Maeve is also sensible and should have realised that she couldn’t lift him.

And the end scene… Oh, I’m bubbling with questions, but I suppose that was your intent. What is Percy up to, really? And what is the whole business of Roderick and Nagini being at two places at the same time? It feels like that would normally involve a Time-Turner, but… And why would Nagini attack Neville when taking him out was Draco’s job? I hardly don’t think that Voldemort would put his precious snake-Horcrux at Draco’s disposal? No, there seems to be something rotten inside the gates of Hogwarts, and I’m longing for you to clear things up a bit.

Lol, I don’t suppose that I’m in a position to pester you for the next chapter? No, I’ll just try and look extra sweet and pleading instead. :)


Name: anAnachronism (Signed) · Date: 04/30/06 21:45 · For: The Darkest Night
Please update! I can't wait to read more and I feel as though I've been waiting for ages.

Author's Response: Sorry, and thanks for the review! Next chapter is almost ready to be sent to my beta and then it will be up. End of the week at the latest. :-)


Name: jakgarden (Signed) · Date: 04/27/06 20:18 · For: Confrontation
GREAT!!!!! can't wait for the next chapter.

Author's Response: It's on its way, I promise! Thanks for the review.


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