Reviews For The Severed Souls
Reviewer: Harriet Evans
Date: 11/10/05 3:50
Chapter: Decided and Undecided.

Albert is a very interesting character and you have added a whole new dimension to this story (again)! He can certainly be very persuasive, but I guess Maeve was just looking for an excuse, really. One line of his dialogue seemed slightly out of place with the rest of his speech, though. These people, they have a degree of stature. I thought he might be more likely to say 'these people have a position to keep up, you know.'

Poor Narcissa! You are really putting her through it, what with showing her knickers on the Knight Bus and stepping in puddles! To be honest, I admire her more and more. Especially as it must have been hell to watch her son and not either approach him, or attempt to stop him getting of the bus. A very good portrayal.

Oh, and did I say I enjoyed it immensely? Yes, of course I did!

Reviewer: Harriet Evans
Date: 11/10/05 3:22
Chapter: Toil and Trouble.

What an interesting perspective to start with. The thoughts of Voldemort were suitably chilling, but also you managed to make sense of the things that we always wonder about, such as 'why doesn't he just kill them?'. Interesting! I adored your description of Pettigrew btw 'The grubby little man scuttled around his feet, hands up at his face, heaving with subordination.' One little sentence, that seems to just sum him up.

This chapter also filled me with admiration for Snape as he managed to stay cool and impassive when faced with that monster.

Then, just when the goosebumps were threatening to become unbearable, you lightened the mood and hung poor Roderick from the ceiling. It was nice to be reminded of this side of him.

I am also enjoying all the little clues that you scatter about. They have really got me thinking. Great job! Thanks.

Reviewer: ellidiot
Date: 11/09/05 13:08
Chapter: Questions, Questions.

Aww! oo that was a nice ending. and you even resisted the urge for a cliff hanger... Seeing Severus and Maeve together is always nice, and i thought Narcissa was particularly gd. Harry's pissing me off, but thats nothing new. when's he gonna notice the locket's at grimmauld place. is that not a good enough reason to go there? great chapter

Reviewer: Harriet Evans
Date: 11/09/05 10:44
Chapter: The Missing Malfoys

Another very enjoyable chapter. I had slight mixed feelings about your Death Eaters, I have to say, although this section was very funny. The Dark Lord really is scraping the barrell, is he not? Made me almost wonder whether Stan Shunpike was innocent after all.

You are not being terribly kind in your portrayal of Ron and I found myself quite irritated by his absolute 'denseness' for want of a better word. Your portrayal actually made me realise why some people find his character hard to like. Maybe being in love has addled his brain?

My favourite part of the whole chapter was the Narcissa section, in which you again managed to take me from howling with laughter (at the thought of Narcissa being a Corrie fan), to absolute open mouthed astonishment at the events at Blackpool. What a terrible way to learn of your husband's fate. Actually, Narcissa is fast becoming one of my favourite characters in this story. It is really quite fascinating to see her cope with this situation and also the fact that it seems (I hope) that she will rise above her cossetted existence and show that she has 'guts'. Anna is right about her when she commends her protection of Draco. This is the heart of her character and you quite rightly allow everything else to flow from that.

Thank you! I enjoyed it!

Reviewer: Severus Snape
Date: 11/09/05 10:40
Chapter: Decided and Undecided.

Well, there was a whole lot of things going on here that will need taking care of in the next chapter. Namely, what the hell will happen when maeve tries to catch up with her husband. Something tells me Severus ain't going to be too happy. I'm happy to see Narcissa back and I thought it was clever to include the Knight bus and it was nice to se the connection between Tom and Eric. Don't keep us waiting too long for an update.

Reviewer: Harriet Evans
Date: 11/08/05 18:10
Chapter: Godric's Hollow

Thank you, Jan. I am still giggling about Arthur ordering a pint of Blue Curacao!

That was a thoroughly enjoyable chapter, which just swept me along. First of all, Lupin was so sweet, especially when he became uncomfortable when explaining to Harry about Maeve. I also liked his acknowledgement/realisation that Harry was no longer a child.

And aah, my lovely Roderick! With a gentleness that would have surprised Maeve had she been conscious, he placed her carefully into her bed and left her to rest after her ordeal. *Sighs*

I enjoyed the journey to Godric's Hollow so much, especially the walk through the graveyard which I could so picture so clearly in my head. I know that feeling of being apologetic if you accidentally step on a grave! I am curious why you chose East Anglia as the setting. (A good choice btw!) It was also interesting that it was a magical community. I was confused by the Black Car - should I be?

Draco was excellent. Spoiled little brat. Very much as he seemed in HBP - well done. I am intrigued to know what will happen next.

Reviewer: Cheshlin
Date: 11/06/05 13:06
Chapter: Decided and Undecided.

A lot is happening! I hope that Narcissa's information can help Maeve. I'm still very fond of Roderick. We never totally know what he is up to, but he helps Maeve everytime she needs it! Poor Remus. He always ends up not getting his way! I look forward to reading what happens next!!!

Reviewer: Her My Own EE
Date: 11/05/05 1:20
Chapter: Decided and Undecided.

Another Yummy Chapter that asks more questions then it answers! My theory on Albert is: with magic blood in his bloodline, he is essentially a squib. If Filch can see Hogwarts why not Albert? Narcissa is rather interesting. Other then she is most likely a death eater and she loves her son. We know almost nothing about her. It will be interesting to see if JKR fills her in a bit more and how closely cannon matches your conflicted, strong-willed and somewhat spoiled version of Narcissa Malfoy.

Reviewer: Wiccan
Date: 11/04/05 21:01
Chapter: Decided and Undecided.

Oh, my! So many things still 'undecided'! I am most interested in Albert. If he is so Muggle, how could he see Hogsmeade and Hogwarts? Methinks he must have some 'special abilities'. Well, you left us with the chessboard all shaken up and the pieces strewn about. I look forward to seeing them sorted out.

Reviewer: Wiccan
Date: 11/04/05 18:38
Chapter: The Temple of the Four Winds

I have never considered using 'horrific' and 'beautiful' as a reaction to a story before. But, you have evoked both those emotions. The horror of what she went through...and worse, the horror that Snape suffered watching almost tore my heart out. The beauty, of course, is the love that, in a way...caused those horrors. As usual, you leave me breathless with your talent.

Reviewer: MADJH
Date: 11/04/05 14:59
Chapter: Malfoy Manor

Okay, so I had to finish the chapter first, before moving onto the next and... I missed the best part! Maeve referring to Lupin as a ministry man... LMAO! She's lucky he didn't maul her for that one! I am very much impressed with your characterisation of Remus and I can see why Anna has fallen in love with him. I fell in love with him in DoL and I just know he's going to break my heart in this one too!

Reviewer: SusannaC
Date: 11/03/05 4:39
Chapter: Toil and Trouble.

Eep! nearly missed this update. love everything thats going on and i thought you were going to kill remus for one horrible minute. Albert is interesting and knowing you i bet youve got something really cool in store for him. Voldemort was as creepy as usual and hes going to ask snape to kill harry???? And harry wants to kill snape...should be interesting when they next meet.

Author's Response: Me? Kill Remus? Do you think I'd be capable of such a thing??? And Voldemort is a creep... With a capital C!

Reviewer: Fantasium
Date: 10/30/05 16:01
Chapter: Toil and Trouble.

Oh, this one starts off so magnificently! I have really come to like these ventures into Voldemort’s mind, where you explore his way of thinking and the terrifying combination of insanity and clear logic. There is also the odd need for acceptance: ‘It gave him a feeling of certainty in an ever-changing world to be exposed to such deference.’, as well as the worry: ‘Voldemort would never admit to being worried about Potter, but worried he was.’
His thoughts around Severus affect and worry me a lot, as does the final words about Maeve. Voldemort doesn’t hide anything, he tells Severus exactly what might happen, and it’s a horrible, direct threat that shows me that this maniac is fully aware of the power he’s got. I think it was affected by Severus’ ‘His head ached from the secrets he kept and he wished with all his soul that the twisted wizard he had left standing by the roaring fire could be consumed by the flames he stoked.’ - but in any case, my personal hate and anger towards Voldemort is stronger than ever.

I’m going to pick up on the detail of someone unknown trying to claim Darkacre. It’s almost mentioned in passing, as a reason for Maeve to seek out Roderick, which almost made me forget about it. But because of this rather brief mentioning I’m all the more curious… Could it possibly have something to do with someone who was visiting a certain wedding? In any case, I’ve got quite a few little details like that to keep hold of at the moment, and I know I’m certain to forget them all well in time for when you will reveal their secrets and make me go “Oooh, I never saw that coming!” ;)

Neville is interesting in this chapter, and I wonder exactly what you’ve got planned for him? We get his basic idea of course, but I wonder what response he will finally get when he talks it over with an adult? Or, if he keeps seeking advice but can’t find it, will he have courage enough to act on his own?

Roderick… Hehe. Well, his first appearance stole some laughter from me, with lines like:
“Thought I might teach the first years how to undo one and forgot the blasted words.”
“Hmm… I was going to buy you a set of matching robes for Christmas but I won’t bother now, ungrateful wretch.”
“You sound like a little wife. Do I get a kiss on the cheek?”
- not a little cheeky, is he! But by Merlin, I can’t help loving him.

The secret meeting at Rathgael is (after some more time to think about it) possibly my favourite part of the chapter, although if I really had to pick it would be as hard as ever. I like to see how the connection between these two men is slowly changing. Yes, they are still very different, but I see ever so faint traces of respect for the other in both of them. Severus is showing it by asking Remus for important assistance, Remus displays it by agreeing to do it and to do his best, and actually trusting Severus. We know that Remus was deeply affected by the scene in the Shrieking Shack, so I’m assuming that this is one of the results we’ll be seeing from that. He still quite can’t understand Severus’ situation though, and he is also questioning him: “Will your dedication to your cause extend to harming your wife directly?” I find myself feeling with Severus, as so surprisingly often these days, and you write the perfect sentence to let both the character and I react: ‘Frustration borne of the inability to protect the one thing Severus loved drove him to pick up the nearest thing, which happened to be a small white vase, and throw it across the room, passing through the place where Remus had recently stood.’

I hope you don’t mind me quoting a lot, because it seems to be the right thing to do at the moment. I’ve got two particular favourite parts in the next few paragraphs, namely:
“Maeve.”
Her name, spoken so firmly, was a well-worn and familiar cloak that crept gently across her shoulders
“Remus.” She accepted the cloak with a turn of her head, and a warm acknowledgment of his presence.’

- the liking of the cloak, reminding me of the garment Maeve gave to Remus in DoL, is wonderful. It sort of describes the relationship between the two, at least how I would like it to be and how it is for Maeve’s part. And then, the other part:
‘So much beauty surrounded her, so much which was natural and wholesome. Why did the touch of humankind have to intrude with its devious plans and intolerable cruelty?’ - if you want a “real” reason for quoting this, I can tell you that the words completely matches my idea of Maeve, and also that it’s real, it’s one of those random thought that could pop up in any of our minds. But, my actual reason for putting it in the review is because I think the words are beautiful.

And off to the pub we go. Discussing Harry is of course always interesting, especially in such a tricky situation, but it gets much more intriguing when Roderick arrives with his lady-friend. And just who might it be? Well, I’d like to put my galleons (oh, all right then, Swedish crowns…) on Narcissa, but at the same time I must wonder why on earth Roderick would bring her to Hogsmeade when his task was to keep her hidden? It’s just that… I can’t think of who else it could be?
And then it gets scary! Powerful magic, you don’t say! I was so relieved to see our precious characters unharmed, but soon distracted by the arrival of Albert Gryps and the idea that the Death Eaters “got what they came for” – if Narcissa was indeed with Roderick, perhaps it was her they were after? And Roderick would of course also be interesting to them…
And now I’m supposed to tell you all of my theories and opinions on Albert, am I not? *grins* Actually, I do have an idea of it, but that doesn’t mean I can grasp the meaning him. I’m dead curious about what he will bring, and I want that conversation in the castle now!

*gasps* Wait a second - does this mean - *double-checks*… Jan, I’m up to date with the reviews! ;) In the middle of Grammar revising and all! Well then, your move next, my brilliant author and friend. I’ll just sit here and dream of next chapter while working my way through adverbials, non-restrictive relative clauses and auxiliary verbs… *deep sigh*



Author's Response: Yay! Anna is up-to-date with reviews!!

I loved writing the Severus/Voldemort scene. it was a scene that had to come and I wasn't quite sure how it would go. In the end Severus took over and did his thing. I think I managed to pitch it right with the master/servant relationship. Voldemort doesn't quite trust Snape but now that Dumbledore is dead, he doesn't have a reason not to. I like the idea of him torturing poor Snape with the possibility that he will have to kill Maeve. It also makes Severus aware of just how vulnerable you are when you love someone.
something
rather than just be a pawn for everyone else!

And yes, it got scary. For all the darkness in this fic there haven't been that many scary moments, but after chapter thirteen I think the danger levels will be turned up a bit. ;-)


Author's Response: I don't know what MNFF did to that response.After 'when you love someone' I started talking about Remus and how he was getting himself into a lot of personal difficulties being at the beck and call of people. And I'm hoping that he will do something rather than be a pawn. *kicks MNFF*

Reviewer: Fantasium
Date: 10/30/05 10:39
Chapter: The Missing Malfoys

Oh, the Malfoys are troublesome, aren’t they? First out, the little gitlet, being stupid enough to think that he has a better chance away from Severus. And, since Draco is truly missing in this chapter (I can barely restrain myself from going “yay!”…), the person I move onto is Severus. I feel tired and drained when I think of his situation, how he has to be constantly alert, how he has got to lie and conceal the truth. He’s an expert actor is in complete control of his mind, but I wish for a time where he could relax, where there would be no need to pretend. Yes, admittedly Severus did something horrible when he first joined Lord Voldemort, but I’m beginning to feel that he has paid for it and more.
My next Severus moment of the chapter is at the end of the fire conversation, ending with Maeve’s, “Well,” she said to no one in particular. “Thanks for that lovely message. I’m not worried about you now. No, not worried at all.” I react on Severus not giving her the tiniest ‘I love you’ or ‘I miss you’, which would have been a natural way for most characters to end such a conversation. But we know already that he does both of those things, and his worry is obvious. It seems more like he is not used to the phrases, he knows what they stand for but he has not yet come to the point where they can be spoken casually or even briefly. It is clear to me that he loves her, and I believe it’s just as clear to himself, but being the practical man he is it might not seem necessary to always include these words. Somehow this pleases me, because it means that they hold a greater value to Severus, that he has not reduced them to something simply replacing a ‘good-bye’. I’ve got no worries that Maeve might think he doesn’t love her because he doesn’t say so, because if I’ve got this figured out, then so should certainly she.

“When did you become such a mother hen?” Maeve croaked.’ - Roderick time, of course. Just as in the last chapter, I love to see that he is genuinely concerned about Maeve. Your words on Roderick always seem to glow in the text, little lines which are perhaps not that significant, but which lift the whole text. Such as: “I don’t want you ending up dead; what the hell would I do with old mother Malfoy then?” and ‘With a good deal of huffing and puffing he swished his cloak in Hermione’s face and left them to it.’
Actually, *giggles*, this chapter planted a very interesting thought in my head. Suddenly, the idea of Narcissa/Roderick seems rather appealing… Not that it’s in any way convenient, but I find it thoroughly tempting. Hmm… it seems like I’ve been around lovers of scandals and rare pairings too much.

Narcissa then, and her husband. Speaking of lovers of scandalous pairings, my first thought around Lucius’ death was how Jenna would forgive you for killing him off that way. But on a more serious note I’m sure is death was for the best, and I certainly like the way it affects Narcissa. I think she has shown already in canon that she is not a woman to sit around when she believes there is something she can do for her family. Severus’ comment, “Never underestimate the bond between a son and his mother,” he replied hurriedly.’ makes this (and other events, too) even more interesting. She leaves without a clear idea of what to do, and although she might be desperate I can also spot her natural courage, it’s something rather wolf-like, to protect the pack and the offspring. I just wish I could have seen every single thought that was buzzing in her mind…

The missing ruby business is the major mystery of this chapter, and I’m glad to see that there is always something to ponder and guess about, plot-wise, after each chapter. I’m very interested do know when and how this ruby went missing, and what it’s used for now…
The other thing is of course the Hogwarts cemetery. I’m hoping for a visit in the chapters to come, even if I’m not sure how much I think it matters to the story. It might just be Hermione’s brain (and my own) working on over-time, but who knows?

Look, wasn’t this a nice and short review? And you probably thought I had forgotten how to write them! ;)



Author's Response: I'm so pleased you picked up on Severus and his lack of outward emotion. he's spent a lifetime not saying these things so they don't come naturally. And Maeve has spent a lifetime being denied them so wishes they did! And Severus doesn't use language lightly. I think if Maeve were to ask him directly about his lack of endearments he would be very puzzled because he knows that he loves her and so does she. For him to keep saying he loves her would devalue the words, in his eyes. As for your ship...well...you know we were talking about shipping Roderick....I shall say no more....

The missing ruby is interesting. It might be important, then again it might be just a seed dropped by the wayside. ;-) *torments Anna* I'm not sure what to do with the cemetry. It won't come for some time, if at all. It would be to close to Godric's Hollow. And Narcissa...well Narcissa is on her way back into the main story. I wonder what she will think of her son after the next few chapters??

Reviewer: Severus Snape
Date: 10/30/05 1:08
Chapter: Toil and Trouble.

This chapter really creeped me out. You piched Voldemort just right. He's very creepy but very powerful. I always wanted to see how Snape was with him and I thought you got it just right. Albert is going to be important to this fic. I wonder how though. Can't wait to see what happens next.

Author's Response: Albert is a sneaky old man! You need to keep your eye on him. :-)

Reviewer: Severus Snape
Date: 10/30/05 1:04
Chapter: The Missing Malfoys

Wow, all the Malfoy's have gone AWOL! I wonder if Lucius is really dead? It might be better for Narcissa if he is. And Draco always was going to be trouble. Wonder what Voldemort will do with him. Narcissa's hide out was great and i could just imagine her eating chocolate and watching TV. The sword is intriguing, it's like your planting seeds again just like you did in the first story. I wonder which ones are real and which are fake.

Author's Response: I wanted to see Narcissa in a Muggle setting, and not just any Muggle setting but one that was the anti-thesis of everything she is. I thought she coped rather well! LOL

Reviewer: ellidiot
Date: 10/29/05 17:11
Chapter: Toil and Trouble.

Nice chapter, good pace, though perhaps more talk than action. Setting up the dilemmas and problems that need to be solved next. Liked Severus/Remus scene especially, and v intrigued by Albert. look forward to more.

Author's Response: I'm saving the action! There will definately be more Albert! And yes, there needs to be a lot of setting up in this fic...there are so many plotlines going on. :-)

Reviewer: Cheshlin
Date: 10/27/05 17:15
Chapter: Toil and Trouble.

Wow. A lot is going on. I can't wait to learn more about Gryps. I see a lot of story coming from him. I hope Maeve or Severus finds Draco before any other Death Eater can! Severus is definitely playing with fire, and I know he has been burned before. I hope he doesn't get burned too badly again! I actually like him in your story. The 1st one I have ever liked! :)

Author's Response: Yay! I made another Snape convert. :-) I'm going to try and keep him from getting burned too badly, but these characters seldom listen to me. :-)

Reviewer: Potterfan524
Date: 10/26/05 8:02
Chapter: Toil and Trouble.

Wow another great chapter!! But how on earth are they going to get Harry to go into hiding? Especially if he finds out that Snape is the one he is hiding from. This is not going to be an easy task! I look foward to the next update :)

Author's Response: You and me both! LOL Remus is going to try his best, but Remus has an uphill struggle. Keeping Snape and Harry seperate is going to be a challenge for everyone. And thank you for reviewing!

Reviewer: Her My Own EE
Date: 10/25/05 10:20
Chapter: Toil and Trouble.

So Mr. Snape has to kill Harry & Mrs. Snape plans to get in the way... Very interesting! I wonder will Harry take care and go back to School? Or will he go looking for his least favorite former professor? BTW: By far yours is my most favorite Snape. I feel as though there is just so much more to him then we know from cannon. Now, what on Earth was taken from the Hogs Head? Certainly not Aberforth's goats, the world as a whole could not be so lucky. :) Please update again soon!

Author's Response: Thank you for the review! I know...the goats are probably still there. :-( Harry is going to take some persuading to go back to Hogwarts...and I'm not sure he will! I'm glad you like Snape...I've grown rather attached to him myself. :-)

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