you might want to consider dividing this up into paragraphs instead of writing it in one huge lump. It would make reading it easier as I was cross eyed after reading the first chapter. Good reading, though..
loved the whole story. great ending!!
very good. but i think your pacing is a bit fast. but don't you think it's a bit of cliche to use the 'sleeping-beauty ending'?. it's just my point of view. no offense intended.=D
my eye hurt with this chapter..you should have broken it up..you know ENTER..
awesome! i love this story!..brilliant! oh and im from the states, New hampshire to be exact....not that you care, but yeah...!
Sorry but i think paragraphs would have helped
Great story! very entertaining! Keep up this amazing writing! Great plot scheme! Love this story!
ya, its good grl !!! but, it think u should break up the whole thing into paragrapahs, just so its easier 2 read...but u know, just saying
ha ha ha.... quite predictable!
sounds good till here...
You have a captivating righting style. It shows excellent sophistication and this story most certainly is original.
They story may be complete, but I'm going to review anyway. Wonderful beginning. It's a thick, eye-straining pharagraph. You should cut up into smaller pharagraphs.
Ever heard of paragraphs. This was so hard to read!
I would love to read this but the format drives me crazy. I wish it was not writen as 1 huge paragraph
aww how cute!! its like sleeping beauty!!!!! well i have to say great story above all!!! and keep up the great work!!!=D
o my gosh
thats sad!! but that was nice what draco did for her!!!
dang tre harsh