i like this story, interesting plot
Wowwwwwww. Sorry for a late review.First let me say it's a great story. The emotions are really well written. I really loved how you progressed the relationship between Hermione and Lord Voldemort, and the ending was just brilliant.Keep up the good work.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH, mega crap. I am SO sorry! I forgot to review your story for the uberfantasticallywonderful banner you made me! *begs forgiveness* Well, really really really excellent! 10/10!~H_o_I_
Wow, what a wonderful beginning! I will definitely be back to read the rest as soon as I have time!!
Re-read that last review and copy it in your mind. Then add in the stunned silence of the last words, and the absence of sound bar fingers tapping rapidly on a keyboard.
And there, my dear, is the review. Because reviews are about reaction, and words describing said reaction... and I just can't seem to think of any words that would describe this feeling this... rush of just... thoughts and smirking and ideas and just wow. Wow wow wow.
Author's Response: That's just about my reaction to the nineteen reviews you just left me. Wow. To reply to everything you said would be... well, let's just say I'll answer all your more strightforward comments. Heh. Really, that German was good? I wouldn't know. My first beta for this story was German, and I have reason to believe that she spoke German better than English. So. I COLLECT quotes, lyrics, etc. It's an addiction. I have a quote for every occasion. Honestly. Love to quotes everywhere. Oscar Wilde is my favorite quotist as of late. Shakespeare second. Then AFI. I wrote this story when I was 14, before GOF (maybe PoA?) and definitely before HBP came out. So when I saw Hermione's dress in GOF I smirked a little. People have also mentioned the many similarities between my story and HBP. Some lines are so similar people have accused me of copying them right out of the book. Some were idiotic enough to think that JK copied them from me. *headdesk* which results in either someone off on the far left with green face paint screaming "OH WHAT A WORLD!" or at least Tom Riddle changing for the better. At that point I had no idea what you were talking about but I was laughing my head off. Your reviews are hilarious; thanks for that. I'm glad you liked the last two chapters. I was gettin' a little nervous there in the middle, but seems I won you over in the end. When I first wrote this thing I didn't even know that Tom/Hermione existed.... it was just like this crazy idea in my head that kept bugging me. And once I wrote it I was positive everyone would hate it and that they would think me the world's biggest freak for writing such a random, conviluted thing. o_o People get really disappointed when I tell them I don't even ship Tom/Hermione... this was just kind of a spur-of-the-moment plot-bunny ship. My new story is about halfway finished... sort of. It's in pieces right now and I've still got to get a beta for it. Gah, it probably won't be out until after DH, which might ruin the plot anyway. I seriously cannot thank you enough for all of these wonderful reviews... I've never gotten such funny, long, wonderful, in-depth feedback, and it means a lot to me. No charge at all required for that next banner I'm making you. ;) (what would you review?)
It could be perhaps the fan is on me.
It might be because the sleeveless, strapless top I am wearing at night isn’t appropriate for the weather.
It could be those things, if I weren’t reading this. It is, though, your story.
And it’s so chilling, as soon as she was gone, I think I may have been on the brink of crying. I’ll come back and give you a wonderful, lengthy review once I’ve processed it all, but the rose, your description of Hermione, the song that is currently playing on my computer mixed with the sentence structure and the words and the characterization – they’re all so breathtaking and wonderful and believable. I know in the past… five or so reviews I’ve been skeptical to this relationship, but I think you’ve finally won me over. Not that I’m the hardest critic of anything, but Tom and Hermione? So ludicrous, but… you made it work. Like I said. I’ll come back when I’m not pulsating with shock inside.
GUH what a chapter! I don’t know what exactly it reminds me of I the way of the books; maybe it was another fanfiction I read and there was a similar confrontation scene. All I know is... wow. Especially with the Malfoy part. Wow.
I have two or so points on this - “This world. Everything in it.. The way that morons like Dumbledore and Malfoy feel the need to separate good and evil so definitively. Why can’t they understand that all I want is justice?” he asked., voice louder than necessary. Alright, the first is there should be three periods/ellipses, not two, there should be a comma, not a comma and period, and there should be a “he” before the voice.
But also, stepping away from the nitpickyness, I think, as you mention… in the next paragraph, this is a good look into what makes Tom Voldemort. Because he’s not just some evil corrupted boy from the start. He was given an idea, or formulated an idea based on what he’d seen and he just ran with it until… well yes. But… I like the depth that this gives him. It chills me especially because of the way the world works now, you know? Just all the offhand remarks and war and just everything seems to revolve around what people’s opinions of the world are. I believe in OotP Dumbledore said something along the lines of there being more than just good people and Death Eaters. Tom and Dumbledore are very similar, in more ways than one, I surmise.
… And saying that I look at the list of quotes on my document and this one pops up – “She realized that Tom would be like a better Dumbledore, in her time, in the altered reality she had created.” Do you know what one of the best things about this story is? The whole way I’ve been thinking about the paradox – is Hermione in her world because of Helen in the past, or is Hermione going to return to the future and everything be different, because of what Helen did in the past? Just… Tom’s descriptions were so ambiguous and the way you’ve written it in is just great, actually. Really great.
Ooh, one other thing, out of order was this line, “ It was nonsensical. It was fleeting. It was beautiful. It was imperfect. It was tragic. It was heartbreaking, and none of those words came even close to identifying it.” the words! I love words! And the fact that you’ve said no word describes love other than love is just awesome, because I think the same way! Yay for that! And sadly this story is drawing to a close and Hermione and Tom are still in love. Snap. :)
Trust, she realized suddenly. I saw trust in his eyes. Well that's something you don't see everyday...
I forgot to mention something in the last chapter, but I found a small error - She is worthless Mudblood girl, and your immortality is more important than her. So why couldn’t you kill her? you're missing an 'a' before worthless. I just went to make notes and noticed i was so blown away by the end of it that I forgot to mention it :D
Everything bad that has happened to me this year is your fault. - Well huzzuh for that, pardner! Sheesh! Without Hermione, you would have gone on to ruin the world... or would you? Would you have still killed everyone, becasue you met Hermione?
My brain hurts from thinking about the paradox :(.
That's about the coherence of this chapter. There's not really much to say, just a lot to.... feel.
She watched the realization dawn in his eyes. He could not dominate her. He had, at last, met his match. Wheeeeeeeeeeeee....
Is it bad that I thought there was totallt going to be some smutty action giving the warning and the repeated phrase of "the complete the spell" and then the "I wouldn't want to break you line" and I was like.... YAY.
Ppsh. But he jst basically admitted he loved her. WHAT a let down ;).
I heart the quote. And I just realised I have a little bit of sandwhich left which makes my heart even happier :D I like the way all your quotes tie in so nicely with the theme of the chapter.
He had felt warm when kissing her, comforted, but that feeling had disappeared like a snowflake on the first day of spring. I thought this was a little ironic, actually, the way he feels warm and then is described as the snowflake, something cold, melting. Unless of course Hermione is warm and is melting him, which results in either someone off on the far left with green face paint screaming "OH WHAT A WORLD!" or at least Tom Riddle changing for the better.
One of the things that stood out what the stupid irrational things she was saying. Hello? Sacrifice the world she knows for Tom Riddle, the man who has done all the bad crap to the world? Argh. She's like those girls you just want to hit because they're so infuriatingly stupid in their decisions.
Glad to see Dumbledore's tricks! Loved the way it was slipped casually in, about the hat. & I love the Dumbledore in the library. It makes me think whether or not Dumbledore knows what is to come, even though.. he knows nothing of it. That's what I like about JKR's Dumbledore, and your Dumbledore, actually. Just the way you capture that... (it's hard to explain) that all knowing clam sort of tone, even though he doesn't have the information. We sadly see that Dumbledore unravel in HBP, potentially one of the saddest HP moments ever.
And, Hermione dear, tomorrow never comes.
Oh man. That dream part was kinda awesome. I'm formulating some ideas in my head right now, which I won't reveal because you'll probably laugh, and I'll feel like an idiot because not only do you already know, but so do people who might read this review and think I'm an idiot because I'm reviewing and not reading, and-
... cough. Sorry about that. :D And the quote for this chapter is - It happened so quickly that it might not have happened at all. love that line. It reminds me of those dreams that you wake up and think, "wtf?" about!
So basically I've been thinking about what you said about not reviewing ever chapter. I considered it, but then thought that perhaps there'll be a chapter that didn't interest me, or that I didn't have anything to comment on.
This is not one of them.
When you started talking about the Quidditch Pitch I had this little fun thought in my head of lanterns. No idea why, but just the contrasting inmage of all the colour and fu and wet grass and just.. the different from the Great Hall. I like fictions that are so much like the book, but I just... I'm sick of all those fictions at the moment that arn't exactly Harry Potter, they're liek original fiction with Harry Potter character's names. So this is a fantastic meet in the middle. (Sorry to rattle on) That's what I like about this. It's not horriblly cliche, and it still has all the kit and kaboodle that the original fictions have, but it's still the Harry Potter universe :)
& Hermione's dress! Was this written before or after the GoF movie? Because it reminds me so much of Emma's dress!
And, now that I've had some time to think of it (I read this in two parts) I liked the uneasiness Helen felt with Christoph. I was thinking that Tom had taken Polyjuice or something! But then when Helen said that she liked someone else, I was thinking ... does Tom know that Helen thinks he's Christoph? So confusing to you, I guess, but that's how my brain works.
I also liked the detail about the diary - it never occurred to me Tom actually wrote in the diary. Ijust thought that he bought ti and never used it. But it makes a lot more sense that there's actually his thoughts and HIM inside of it, lol. So yay.
Oh snap. Hermione's the one who MAKES him Lord Voldemort, isn't she? She's the little interferrance Nick was talking about. Imagine me putitng my hands to my mnouth in shock.... now. & I like that this was a sort of.. filler chapter. Short and sweet :). I just thought it was a little ironic that the girls wanted to curl her hair :D.
You're toying with my emotions. Really, you are. So. Key elements of this chapter are... I can only remember one. And one very pretty put out Ravenclaw :D I like the use of the word incenerating - good choice for the... unexpected burning touch. I think that if it were any pairing other than Hermione/Tom I'd be ship ship shipping away, but I'm sorry to say that until you give me a leeeetle bit more information than just a spontaneous kiss I'm going to have to remain on the sidelines :)
ZOMg! (you'll find this review is a little less coherant) um, not fair. I'm just glad that it's finished so I can keep reading!
I like the way you draw parallels, and this chapter's I think the first chapter you've really had Hermione mention the boys multiple times? Aww. She misses them :). I also liked the way there's Helen-Emma vs Christoph, instead of Harry-Ron vs Hermione. Girls just wanna have fu-un!
And the slight Minerva/Dumbledore hintage? Adorable.
I read the last line and shivered. It was just that eery.
I don't believe I've ever read this story, mainly because I read it over at the other site you have it posted at.
Maddy, you have an amazing skill. Your details, your dialogue... nothing is out of place. Your style of writing has such grace and perception-- you're one of those type of authors that make people think.
The ending was truly depressing, yet it was so beautiful. Your talk about love made my head spin (in a good way), which only happens when I am overwhelmed. And I was overwhelmed by this story. The thought that someone so young can write as well as this is scary.
I have nothing to critisize. You have set a new bar for fan fiction writers on MNFF.
Maddy, I have no idea how you do it. You've got to teach me. Everytime I go back and review my favorite stories, I tell myself, 'I'm only going to read one chapter." But no. With you I have to go and read almost the whole thing! And let me tell you, it's just as good the fourth time as it was the first! You are amazing and when one of your novels hits the shelves, I'll be the first to buy it!
Ooh, I just realised this is the chapter for which I have to most to say... but like, probably won't say all of it. Your quotes are very good >.> how do you find them all? Do you type them in on a search engine, or do you sorta just pick them up along the way, like I do?
I had to giggle when the italics rolled around and he was talking about Helen the actress, she sounded so very Mary-Sue! Which then made me laugh again, because.. that's exactly what she is, actually. She's all an act, right down to the hair!
So I've got this quote lying around, lol. It’s not as if shedding salty water will help your problem. Ppsst. Leaking saline from tear ducts so totally does help sometimes. But I like... how disjointed he was. It reminded me of how not-human he is in HBp, and the way he's described. It was... pretty, lol. For lack of better word.
And I'm going backwards here, so you'll have to excuse that. But, I noticed that thankfully, unlike some other fics, you haven't actually got the canon death eaters as these death eaters. Voldemort is like... 80 years old, right? and the death eaters are forties/thirties, according to the canon Prophet. So yay for that, lol. I love the way you've either just subconsciously attacked cliches, or the way you've thought all your plot points out.
And I thought Tom's internal description of Hermione was... awww like wow. Which recognises BAD BAD BAD in my mind, but I'm still sitting here going ":kiss the girl dammit!" even though it's LV. What powers you possess...
Ooh, go Hermione! I especially liked the way you used the lyrics to convey meaning again. And Evenescence is just an amazing band, so yay for that. I picked out two quotes this time, so I'm going to be annoying again and discuss development and linkage and all that jazz.
So, I like the way you're changing perspectives and characters all the time. It's good, and fresh because in the books not only do we not get to see all of this, but we actually get to see their thoughts in this, which makes me into a giddy little newbie fangurl again, because you've still got that little bit that I love about fanfiction that's like.. not bordering on Orgi fic; you're still very much true to the books.
The days passed, and Hermione worked hard to keep up her facade as ‘Helen’. She was dully agreeable, and all of the Gryffindors got along well with her. I just thought the word "agreeable" and the fact that they were all getting on was hilarious, considering how completely opposite it is in the books :D.
His calm face had shattered, and Hermione realized that she had hit the nail on the head. I liked the way she was like "boo! gotcha!" with that sentence. Did I not say she so totally should have said that a couple of reviews again? I totally did :D And branching off from that, the way Tom thinks Dumbledore makes him feel is good.. I think you said glass? Very good, and connects to both the lyrics & the comment from Hermione. More more more more more more... *fades off as she runs to next chapter*