Reviewer: Madnessisme
Date: 02/04/06 7:58
Chapter: Running Silver

For some odd reason, I really like this. I love the writing style you used ... matches the atmosphere brilliantly. I don't read vampire stories very often, and I have to say, of the very few I have read, yours is among the best. Yes, it's a bit gory, what with the slaying of the unicorns, but you managed to make it seem beautiful, in a gruesome sort of way.

I just have a few things to point out:

My white-blonde hair becomes windblown, as my windows are wide open, and I am standing in front of them.

The first part of the sentence, '- hair becomes windblown -' doesn't seem to mesh with the rest of it. I suggest that you change 'becomes' to 'is', since that you're using continuous present tense (well, I'm pretty sure ... I've never been too good with naming these grammatical terms ...).

Before he knows what's happening, my fangs in his neck, sucking precious lifeblood from him.

There should be an 'are' after 'fangs', or else the sentence will seem inomplete. Oh, and lastly, I just have to say that the way you portrayed Draco and Artemis at the end of the fic seems to say a lot about how they accept each other, yet can never be as close as real siblings. You did that very well. Overall, wonderful job!

Reviewer: Arry Grotter
Date: 11/21/04 21:10
Chapter: Running Silver

For me, i acctualy didnt like it. A bit ... odd. any way could you continue writing hp & secerts untold

Author's Response: Why didn't you like it? Weird...hey, that's okay. Thanks for reviewing, and for being honest!

Reviewer: Juicy_Couture
Date: 11/17/04 20:56
Chapter: Running Silver

hmm, interesting. I like it, bit messed up, but in a good way! lol! don't flame me for saying that. i am not worthy *bows down before you* lol! great story, keep up the great work!!!

Author's Response: Glad you think it was interesting. I'm thinking of making a full length story, like the sequel to it, and it would include a lot of different things. (romance, mystery, and fantasy, basically, and you'd never be able to even guess who I have picked out for her! ^_^) Awww you don't have to bow to me. *blushes* Thanks for reviewing!!!! ^_^

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Severus's Prince by DestinyMoonStar Professors
What does Severus Snape do when a one night stand turns into a baby boy? ...
The Youngest Death Eaters: Year III by DestinyMoonStar 6th-7th Years
Year 3 A year of hard choices and tough talks: Destiny learns about...
Allegiance by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 6th-7th Years
During his final year at Hogwarts, Draco Malfoy had few illusions about where...
FEATURED
The Pretender by littlebird Professors
She feels the familiar pang of disappointment that they've never been better...
A Light in the Gap by WeasleyMom 3rd-5th Years
When Harry woke that first morning in Grimmauld Place, he wondered if Ron and...
Tapestry by Equinox Chick 1st-2nd Years
As Walburga Black stitches, Sirius rebels. Two poems written about the infamous...
The Weird Sisters - B-Sides and Rarities, Vol. 2 by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 1st-2nd Years
The Weird Sisters are back for an encore. Ten more tracks from your MNFF authors.
CATEGORIES