Heh...good one. Well I guess Umbridge got what she deserved! *hates Umbridge*
I like the way you've filled in some of the gaps in her life..well done!
I think you did an excellent job portraying Dolores Jane Umbridge in this story. How she didn't necessarily hate Harry, she just saw him as . . . well, what HermioneDancr said. And how she learned to use her intelligence because she didn't have any looks to help her along . . . and how she got so close to Cornelius Fudge . . . I feel like you covered all the bases. Well done!
I know that this review is really late compared to the others but I LOVED this story!!! As a matter of fact, I've loved just about every story of yours that I've read.
This was great! I especially loved the way you showed the centaurs at the beginning-- shaded with her prejudice. It really made Umbridge seem real as a narrator. You also did a good job of showing her nature to be both calculating and power hungry.
I also liked how you tried to show how she had become the woman she is. However, I think you could have heightened the effect by being more specific about her experiences at school. It's tricky to do because you don't want to disrupt the balance of the piece (which, by the way, is very good). However, I would have liked to see more about her transition from being used (at school) to being cast aside (after graduation). This could be a defining moment in her character. You moved right through it without stopping. I think it bothered me more because its proximity in the story to her relationship with Fudge (which was so detailed).I loved how you gave us her first impressions of Fudge and really showed how she had seen him as a pawn to get herself into favor. It fits perfectly with her character and it helps fit the story into canon (which you also did a great job with). It really made sense how she had latched herself onto him when it became clear to her that he was a contender.
I was surprised by the way you portrayed Umbridge's relationship with Harry. I'd always thought of her as having a personal vendetta against Harry. The way you portrayed her, she saw Harry as just another pawn on the road to power (please excuse the awfulness of that mixed metaphor above). I liked this; it fit so well with her personality. However, I would still have expected her to be angrier at Harry than she was. Harry made her look bad as Headmistress, regardless of Voldemort's return. With her thirst for power, Umbridge would probably hate him for it. She's always seemed rather adept at blaming others…My favorite part of your story was the ending. It was funny and well written and it explained the holes left in the book. Like the rest of the story, the ending displayed a great sense of humor. It tied it up neatly and led us straight into the passage we know from the book. You did a great job of the structure; it flowed well and made logical sense. Thanks for providing me with such a great read!
Author's Response: My! What a wondrous review! Are you thinking about joining SPEW?
Yes, I did skip around a bit in Umbridge's life. I didn't really feel like going into her teaching experience much because seh was still rather dazed by the centaurs and such.