Author's Response: Thanks.
Author's Response: Thanks.
That’s all I can come up with after reading a fic like this. There are simply no words that can express how much I enjoyed this. However, Lian does not prefer gushing reviews, and so Rachel shall leave teh gushing to a minimum. ;) Or at least…try.
First off, your plot. Wow. I hardly read any fics about Hermione’s family, so I really enjoyed this take on her relationship with her grandmother. Your constant refrain of “fifteen minutes” really showed how much of an impact something so small, yet so meaningful meant to Hermione. Just that title - Fifteen Minutes. Reading it, I didn’t know what to expect. Like you said in your fic, it can feel like both an eternity, and a second. So much can happen to anyone in that short amount of time that might look like nothing, but can really affect them. This fic is a perfect example of something like that—small and meaningful.
We were actually discussing types of intimacy in English class, so after that discussion, I can better understand how two people can share a moment like this, and really have it affect them. The way you wrote this was just so…guh. *tries not to gush* It’s so hard to write a moment like this between two people—it’s really something that no words can describe. However, your descriptions gave me such a clear image that it made it so easy to feel for Hermione, and really get into her character, which you did a simply beautiful job of. The emotion that you put behind every word was so powerful, that even though nothing like this has ever happened to me, I can really understand Hermione.
One passage that I enjoyed was: It was the shortest fifteen minutes of my life. It was also the longest. It was the most hopeless and the most hopeful; the saddest and the most precious. We spoke much and said little. This pretty much sums up everything that I’ve been droning on about. These sentences in themselves are saying that the moment that they shared was something that really moved Hermione, but couldn’t be put into words.
I try to find something to point out in every review, and I must say that it’s quite the challenge in this fic! The only really minor nitpick I have is the first sentence. It wasn't working this year. The tenses here confuse me a tad, as “wasn’t” is past tense, and “this year” is present. It’s not that big of a thing, but I think it may be slightly less confusing if the “this” was changed to “that”. But…I can see why you may want to keep it as is, so feel free to ignore this comment.
This line: I'm sorry, Gran. I'm so sorry. I thought I'd have another chance-- another chance to say goodbye was so sad and so moving. I can see where something as simple as not saying goodbye when she had the chance could weigh guiltily on Hermione, as, from the emotions that you’ve written, we as readers can really understand how much something that small had meant to her.
Gah, I feel all repetitive. Aw well. I really enjoyed reading this, Lian, and am now even more honored than before reading this to be your SPEW buddy! I must now end on this note:
Author's Response: *squishes Rachel* It's hard to write a moment between two people? I think that varies by writer; I find it much, much, much harder to write busy action than to write simpler interaction, like a moment between two people. Anyway, I'm glad you liked this, and thank you for reviewing it –– it hadn't been SPEWed on much for quite a while!
Oh, Lian. It took less than fifteen minutes to read, granted, but it was so... precious. So full of thought, and feeling and emotion and description. I want to say the word description and sorrow so powerfully that I feel like crying out as I say it -- perhaps that would convey the emotion that your story has packed into me.
Your silvery hair dissolved into fluff, solidity faded to translucence; your face-- there was nothing but wrinkles; wrinkles and eyes. I knew the queen but not the hospital bed, the eyes but not the face. Blue grey. The blue was your warmth, your playfulness, your compassion. The grey tempered the blue; made it strong, made it regal. Your eyes-- as soft as the pale fuzz that covered your head. I had to look into your eyes, or I could not have borne to look at you. Sorry to copy such a large amount of text... but this paragraph just.. held me so tightly I had to read, read read. And stop. Usually when I review I'm like, "Oh yes, it held my attention," but... this held me.
Author's Response: Okay, I confess. That paragraph... that was taken almost straight from my diary. Of all my stories, this one is the most purely autobiographical. Glad you liked it. *hugs*
Losing a loved one is terrible. Hermione seems like such a complicated girl, at least to me she always has. I loved your descriptions in this story. The way you described Her Gan's eyes' was beautiful.
"Absently she traced the tail of the red unicorn as she gazed out the window once more, absorbed by the movement of the light as the leaves on her tree were tossed in the wind."
I don't know why but that was my favorite sentence from the entire fic. It gave me a perfect picture of her; I loved it!
Author's Response: I'm glad this story meant something to you. The sentence you picked out is probably the most heavily symbolic of the story; the red unicorn is meant to represent lost innocence, and her action of tracing it's tail symbolizes her trying to onto that innocence.
That story was wonderful, I really liked it a lot..poor Hermione, though.But even though her granmother is dead,It's good Hermione knows she 's gone to Heaven
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked this!
that is soooo sad! I was on the verge of tears throughout reading it!
Author's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing!
This is the second story I've read of yours and love ti just as much. You capture grief and this pain so well.
Author's Response: I'm glad it meant something to you!
That is brilliant, and very interesting. I never thought much about Hermione's family. Poor Hermione, It must be awful to lose your granmother.
Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing!
Squeak Squeak Squeak!
Author's Response: Aw, what a sweet undead hamster! :: sends a nice little wheel as a thank you present ::
Sad, but i loved it. I didn't want it to end!
Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed it. :-)
This is a very powerful one-shot indeed. It is rare to come across a fiction that has you hooked in the first chapter, but this is one of them. I think that what had me so interested is the idea of seeing a side of Hermione I never get to see. Her feelings about her family. I have thought about it before. About how in almost everything I read, and sometimes when I am writing, that Hermione seems so distant from her parents because of the wizarding world. It was so lovely to finally see a connection with her 'Muggle' side, in this case with her Gran. You conveyed emotion so brilliantly. Especially when she is writing in her Journal. I can pin point the exact sentence where I started crying too... it was when I read : 'I spent precious minutes staring at those knobs. They were red. Or white. I don't remember. They were there.'... It just reminded me of how much precious time we can waste on such silly things only to remember those things so vaguely. I am so glad I came across this and although what I have said may be just repeats of previous reviews I just wanted you to know that one more person in the world appreciates writers like you. Fabulous :)
Author's Response: Thanks for the review! It totally made my night! It is funny, isn't it, how much time we can spend staring at something totally inane and then not even really remember them? Yet still I seem to spend an awful lot of time doing that. I guess I'm not the only one ;) Anyway, thanks for such a lovely review. I really appreciate knowing that people read and even like my stories.
Ok, I know you wrote this a while ago, but I just found it. I really liked it. It added a very interesting point of view. Makes you see a lot of things very differently. :)
Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! It makes me so happy to know that people are still reading a story from a while ago. I'm glad you liked my twist!
*looking below* I see that the SPEW magnifying glass has already been over Fifteen Minutes several times. Am I sensible and about to let that stop me? Nope.
‘It wasn't working this year.’ – crash, bang, boom, it begins! I think I mentioned it in my response to ‘What Makes a Good Fanfic?’, if I did I’ll be repeating myself now: There has to be something in the beginning, preferably in the first two paragraphs of a one-shot, or in the first two chapters of a longer story, a something that catches me. When I wrote that, I didn’t imagine that I would read this – a first line that stole my full attention. Nice.
The next thing that comes to my unorganised mind, is of course how clever this is. I love to see intelligent people elaborate with theories, thinking deeper about Jo’s works, combining questions and ideas. This can lead to some nice discussions or editorials, or as in this case, a beautifully written result of a plot bunny.
Never having had (or wanted to have, really) any control of my emotions, I had silent tears running down my cheeks both first and second time I read this. So, why is my weeping mentioned in this review? Because it’s a proof that you know how to write emotions, to communicate to me what Hermione is going through. You have got the ability to move my feelings, and you use that skill well. *sniff*
I’ll have to echo other reviewers, that my absolute favourite parts of this one-shot were Hermione’s journal writings. The story would have worked without them, with Hermione only thinking about the whole thing, but by adding them you have put both cream and strawberries on an already tasty cake. You can tell by Hermione’s words that she has carried the thoughts around for a long time, and that she is finally ready to share them, be it only with a journal. All of us authors know how liberating it can be to write in general, and what an effective way it can be to deal with things specifically like loss and grief. I’m lucky enough to have all my relatives alive, but I have lost someone else who was close to me, and I can relate to this way of finally coming to terms with it, as it was exactly what I did then. It’s obvious what thought and care you’ve put behind this idea, Lian, and I want to compliment you for doing so.
I’m also echoing others when I say that there were no spelling or grammar mistakes to pick up on. (Also, the benefit of reviewing late is of course that I get edited versions, he-he!) I’ll only be a bore about one, tiny thing. In the second last paragraph of Hermione’s second writing, I love how you use the word ‘remember’ to create a flow, a rhythm. Therefore it might be odd when I quote this:
‘The one time in my life when I would give anything to remember the exact words is the one time I cannot remember them.’ - as much as I like the multiple ‘remember’:s, this seemed like one too many. I think the sentence would have been more powerful if you had lost the last ‘remember them’, resulting in ‘…is the one time I cannot.’ But, as always, that is just the Fantasium’s opinion.
A lovely, thought-through one-shot, Lian. Thanks! Now I’m looking forward to the day when I will see some of your new, chaptered works.
Author's Response: Between you and Seren's LJ, I'm floating so high my head is hitting the ceiling. I promise I'll respond more intelligently later, when I've gotten off of cloud nine.
Author's Response: It may have taken me a few days, but I'm finally getting around to responding for real. On a sidenote, you should never worry about how many spewers have taken the time to review a story. Everyone has a unique perspective, so all comments are worthwhile.
I'm glad the first line caught your attention; I tend (in general) to be pretty awful when it comes to writing openings. I'm glad the journal was powerful for you. I was trying (in part) to use the journal as a device to give the reader a sense of how much time has actually passed. The journal entry is not an immediate response to death; it is the culmination of years worth of silent pain and reflection. It is a young woman looking back on the experience of a young girl. I'm pleased that you got a sense of the passage of time.I think you're right about that one sentence. I think I'll go back and take out the 'remember them' when I have a moment.
Thank you so much for leaving such an amazing review!
What a beautuful and poignant story! So sad but also wonderful that she had that relationship with her Gran. I thought it was so believable that Hermione's parents had kept the whole truth from her - no doubt thinking that they were protecting her. You conveyed the guilt and the grief so very well; I really felt for her. I loved the irony in Never before had she been so slow to open a book Also enjoyed the way that you wove the whole story around canon and made it seem entirely plausible. We never hear much about Hermione's family and whether she misses them - this was a really original view point. Well done, I loved it.
Author's Response: I'm glad that you enjoyed this and found it plausible. Thanks for reading and reviewing!
This was a very good fic, very good. I noticed nill in the way of grammatical and spelling errors, you kept Hermione in character, and your writing was great. Good job. Now, into detail. I loved the explanations you gave for third year. I never truly realized it, Hermione was a bit off, wasn't she? Relating that to the death of a relative, a relative she was very close too, was a great idea. Hermione's letter, was beautifully written, apparently straight from the heart. I do think she wouldn't have kept ALL of the secrets to herself though. She may not have told Harry or Ron (for good reasons, which you mentioned), but a professor perhaps? McGonnagall? She is always nagging Harry to tell Dumbledore, and I'm sure Dumbledore would have realized something was wrong... he seems a good option. Still, you wrote this beautifully, plausibly, and seemingly straight from the heart. I'm not much into fics lacking action, but this one was superb!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! For grammar and spelling, thank my beta. She's fantastic.
While it was really beyond the scope of this story, I do believe Hermione has an unusually close relationship with Professor McGonagall. Hermione is, however, very secretive at times. I get the feeling that there's a lot she doesn't tell anyone. I can see her confiding in Professor McGonagall more as she gets older. In her first couple years at Hogwarts Hermione is too young and too awed to see Minerva as a real person or friend. By Fifth or Sixth year she has probably grown up enough in her perspective to be able to see McGonagall in that light. I don't think Hermione would speak about something so personal to any of her teachers as teachers; she would have to have more of a relationship before she felt comfortable.Obviously, Hermione and McGonagall are two of my favorite characters, and I've spent a lot of time thinking about their relationship. And if a plot bunny strikes, I'll write a story.
That was really amazing. It was so powerful, the way Hermione had remembered those fifteen minutes, and was so confused about what it had meant, and yet it meant everything to her. I like how she had tried to avoid it for so long, but it still haunted her, and she just needed to get it out. And it was very realistic how she couldn't tell Harry and Ron, and how she was afraid Ron wouldn't care. And I thought it was very touching, how she had felt so alone and lost, but still tried to struggle through. It reminded me of a lot of emotions that I've forgotten about, and how sometimes things can be so bittersweet. Great job.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review! It's an amazing feeling to find new reviews! I can tell you understood the emotions I was trying to convey; it makes me feel like I must have gotten something right. Thank you again! Reviews make my day.
Wow, HermioneDancr, Vader was quite impressed with the job you did with Hermione in this piece. You’ve cast her in such a believable light. Furthermore, the emotion was just so tangible. The way you have here clutching that red leather journal almost as though she wished it was her Gran and Hermione’s entry in the journal…it was very moving.
Vader liked how you explained why she hadn’t told Harry and Ron about her Gran. It seems very plausible that Hermione would not disclose something like this to Harry because he’d never know his family and that she wouldn’t tell Ron because telling him was as good as telling Harry. The fact that Harry and Ron knew something was wrong was good too. Vader likes how they thought the Time Turner was the culprit when they found out about it. Just like us guys not to catch on to the real reasons, eh?
Without a doubt, however, the journal entry is the best. Hermione just spills her heart out. She just lets out everything she wanted to say that has been trapped inside since the death of her Gran. Sometimes, that’s all people need to make their peace. Vader’s favorite part:
It was the shortest fifteen minutes of my life. It was also the longest. It was the most hopeless and the most hopeful; the saddest and the most precious. We spoke much and said little.
This is really very good work. Vader didn’t find much in the way of errors, nor does he have any real suggestions for this one. He likes it just the way it is. Nice job!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the lovely review! I'm glad you like the way I've drawn Hermione's character. I see her misrepresented so often, and I'd like to think that I'm not one of the people who does that. She's an interesting combination of cluelessness and tact, which is why I think it's believable that she would not tell Harry or Ron. And most people will accept the reasons they are given, not just guys.
I think HBP has shown us that Hermione's emotions are not always under control. She is capable of spilling her heart out. That's what made this possible to write.
Absolutely beautiful. It's in character while still showing a depth and vulnerability in Hermione, which is not seen to a great extent in the cannon series. Anxiously awaiting your next piece.... ~*~LIZ
Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to review! I agree that Hermione is a vulnerable character, and it saddens me how many readers tend to forget it. She's not an omnicent being, she's an emotional teenager who isn't quite in control of everything. I try very hard to show her as she really is.
I am working on a new story, though it does not center around Hermione. I don't intend to post anything until I further with it (a lesson I learned from my first fan fic), but it will go up sometime. Thank you again for taking the time to review my story! Reviews make my day!
Beautiful. You make Hermione come alive, and the chapter is sorrowful and plaintive in almost a reflective manner. It is like being in a Pensieve!
Author's Response: I'd never thought about it being in a pensieve. It's not, but it's an interesting idea. Hmmm. You just gave me an idea for a new story. Thank you for taking the time to read my stories!
Wow.... I was truly captivated by this story. It was so well written and so in character. You did an excellent job on this! :-) 10 !
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it :)