I really enjoy this story. I love Tonks and I think you did a very good job of portraying her. Tripping up to the Sorting Hat and back, and I think it was an excellent idea to pair her up with Ninette. I also liked the idea of a mirror coaching her in her practice as a Metamorphagus. My one stickling point is: Are Metamorphagii born with the instant ability to transform completely, or do they slowly develop it? Maybe in future chapters you could highlight that Tonks is only able to successfuly transform her face? I think that would add a helpful twist.
Ninette is an unusual character, it's sad that her life was so controlled by her aunt. I like how you are attempting to blend dancing with the magical world. I don't suppose there are any ritualistic dances in magic? (Have you read The Circle Opens by Tamora Pierce? In the first book, there is a character who can dance magic to keep people stuck in the air, etc.) It would be very interesting to see how a witch can use dancing to help with her magic.
I didn't notice any grammar errors, then again, I'm not the best with grammar. All in all I think it was very well written, and very original! I cannot wait for the next chapter to be posted!
Author's Response: Thanks so much, d3pr3ss3dNhappy (that's a very long name! how do you remember it?)! I seem to start all my responses with that, but I mean it every time - you have no idea how grateful I am for such wonderful reviewers! I really enjoyed writing the mirror scene, so I'm glad you liked it. As for developing her ability over time, I think we have no way of knowing. I'm not sure this came across well enough, but I was trying to make a point that Tonks doesn't have complete control over her own features - she can visualize something she can't necessarily do, and she may have trouble getting her features to look as she wants them to. As for the rest of the body, I'm not sure how far Metamorphagii can go to change that; extreme ability in this area could lead to some strange predicaments which I think I'd rather avoid. However, I think they can change it to some degree (though I definitely agree, this should come with time), because in the fifth book we are told that Tonks is disguised as a tall, tweedy looking woman. I haven't really thought about using dance for magic. I'm trying really hard to keep my story fairly constant with what JKR has already introduced - mainly because for plot reasons I've already had to introduce so many new things (dancing, first of all, and a second big thing you will run into in chapter five), and I'm afraid of overdoing it. Thanks again for the review - I'll definitely cogitate (great word, that) over the abilities of Metamormagii - maybe I'll start a thread seeing what other people think over on the help forums, for more ideas. Thanks again!
What more could a niece ask? What more indeed. A choice, perhaps? When Ninette was six I'm sure she was malleable enough, but she's getting to an age where revolt is pretty much a given. I wonder what's going to happen when she comes across something she wants to do that conflicts with her aunt's wishes. Like attending Hogwarts, although it looks like you've got round that obstacle for the moment. Still I can imagine something else coming up in the future.
This was an excellent beginning. I felt as if the characters were real. I have a feeling you've studied ballet yourself, because all the terminology was correct. I couldn't find a single grammar or spelling mistake. Finally, I loved the whole metaphor you had going on with the mirror in the opening paragraphs. The tie-in with the title intrigues me. I want to see what happens when the mirror shatters.
Author's Response: Can any writer receive a greater compliment than "I felt as if the characters were real"? Thank you so much - that's the nicest thing you could have said to me. I love my characters, and think about them constantly. You're right, going to Hogwarts will definitely change Ninette's relationship with her aunt, though the change will be very slow. She's been under her aunt's dominion for a long time now. The mirror is really the key to the whole story - it is what links the multiple plot lines together - so I'm glad you like it. You'll definitely be seeing more of it later! Actually, I am not a dancer, and before I started this story I knew nothing about ballet. However, the plot bunny arrived in a big package one day, and I came down with a great craving to explore the fate of the arts in the wizarding world. I'm actually a musician, but Ninette was calling out to be a dancer, and I couldn't refuse her. I'm delighted that you thought I studied ballet! I've done extensive research, watching movies, reading books (both fiction and nonfiction), and looking it up wherever and whenever I could. All the same, if you or anyone else out there does ballet, I'd love some feedback, because I'm uncertain about my ability to apply all the knowledge I've gained logically. Thanks again for reading and responding - I'm glad you like it, and I hope you'll continue to follow along!
Excellent story! I love the plotline, this is the first fic I've read that wasn't a romance and my first impression, one paragraph into the story was that this is one of the BEST written stories I've ever had the pleasure to read. You have all the makings of a great one m'dear!
Author's Response: Twenty-four hours of hopeless waiting, then all of the sudden two reviews at once. I'm beside myself!! Many, many millions of thanks to you as well, for taking time to review (so many people don't) and (of course) for your extravagent praise. You've just given my self-esteem a huge boost! So I'm your introduction to the world of non-romance? I'm glad you liked what you saw. I'm a non-romance type of person myself - not that I dislike a well-written romance (that would be a terrible lie - I love them!), but I can't stand romances that have no plot line save for the romance. As for this story, I'm planning on taking it significantly into the future (though this means skimming over large chunks of time, because I'm certainly not writing a year by year story on the level of Harry Potter!). Sorry, I'm very parenthetical today - just bear with me. I suppose I'm too excited by the prospect of two reviews at once! So thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm going to go to bed happy now, concentrating on your review and steadfastly ignoring the fact that I have an exam tomorrow that I've barely studied for.
I absolutely love this first chapter. It's very well written and not at all rushed with no trace once so ever of grammar or spelling mistakes. The original characters you have created are brilliant. I love the names; they are creative and not Mart-Sueish but are easy to pronounce. The readers almost get a perfect feeling of what Aunt Edris is like and how she reacts to things by the end of the chapter. I really love that about her character and are anxious to see more of her reactions of Hogwarts. The situation Ninette has found herself is very creative. I can't wait to see how things turn out for her at school. The reference to mirrors was perhaps my favorite part. It really gives you a sence of how things work while Ninette is doing anything dance related. I can't wait to read more and are really interested in seeing Ninette's reaction to Hogwarts. Great job!
Author's Response: Many thousands of thanks to you, Rita Writer! Of the twenty four people who have read my story so far, you are the first and only to respond. I've been checking almost constantly since chapter one was validated, and was beginning to succumb to despair! I'm glad you like my characters; I was afraid they were too stereotypical and characterized. Besides that, I was worried that people would think dancing at Hogwarts was too much of a stretch. I've always wondered why the arts seem so neglected at Hogwarts, and when I had the idea I couldn't resist. The mirrors have to be my favorite part about writing this story (except, of course, for the characters). You'll find that they become very important later on; I just hope people won't get tired of them, because they keep poppng up. I really am delighted that you like it; chapter two is currently in queue and waiting to be approved. Thanks again for taking the time and trouble to review; I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.