Reviews For Sins of the Father
Reviewer: Cheshlin
Date: 11/27/06 12:19
Chapter: Chapter 17: Disillusionment

What a way to get disillusioned about the man you care for. Poor Siobhan. It had to happen eventually though. It will be interesting to see how Lucius reacts to this. It was a great chapter!

Reviewer: bonny456
Date: 11/27/06 2:43
Chapter: Chapter 1: Dangerous Attraction

wow, this is so far really good, my name is siobhan and it honestly felt like that was me in the compartment, well done

Reviewer: deanine
Date: 11/27/06 1:05
Chapter: Chapter 17: Disillusionment

The before and after review, lol. First off, the chapter reads smoothly (you must have an awesome beta *giggle*). As usual you write seamless sensual prose.

Siobhan's response to finding out Lucius was a Death Eater (finally) was handled well. It was a serious emotional blow and she responded accordingly. I smell foreshadowing with Snape and I don't think you are near to done with him. Also, I'm a bit worried about Harry at this point. Where has he wandered off to? Is he in trouble?

The constructive part of this review is going to be a simple difference of vision I suppose. :) We have different visions of who Lucius is. When he defends Siobhan in this chapter the thing that jumped into my head was, Lucius isn't that man, he wouldn't say that, not and mean it. /end con crit

*takes down her Harry/Siobhan bumper sticker*

Bring on the happy ending. I can take it :)


Author's Response: mwhahaha. See, sometimes when my you make a comment that I feel the need to disregard or disagree with, I want to seek you out and provide explainations, but I never do because that seems silly. But now that you've brought it up in a review! *cough* In this story, Lucius has shown that he wants Siobhan to impress other men, so that he can benefit from knowing that she belongs to him. He has also inadvertently defended her from Narcissa's attacks, and one of the warnings he issued Snape was not to disrespect her. So, why should Siobhan be allowed insult herself. As far as Lucius is concerned, Siobhan is his, and nobody -- not even Siobhan -- is allowed insult her. In canon, Lucius is cold and behaves as though he identifies his relationships as possessions - he is not Draco's father, Draco is HIS son. He does not express any kind of emotion towards Draco, but places an emphasis on Draco's actions and abilities and reputation. He goes to the trouble of carrying out his son's wishes, and acting with vengeance on anyone who insults Draco, and the seeming motivation is because he, too, feels insulted. And, as cold and condescending and arrogant he is, I would not believe for a second that any person is incapable of love. But, because he is those things, he cannot express it like a normal person -- so it comes out in small flares of inadvertent actions of concern. I don't know... It was a command. [As indicated by the word 'commanded]', it wasn't meant to appear loving, and nowhere in the text does it mention anything other than a sort of flare of temper. I think sometimes we read things different ways, and you read that line in a way that was vastly different from how it was meant to be spoken or percieved. I did as much as I could to convey it the way it was meant, but, alas, there's only so much I can do. There isn't a happy ending. There is an ambiguous ending, but I won't go into details here where anyone might be spoiled. *cough* [As my beta, you are fully welcome to ask...]

Harry, if you didn't guess, has gone off to do the whole Voldemort bit. It's sort of left to the imagination, so you can fit it in with canon as much or as little as you like. Some explainations will surface soon, but I sort of needed him gone for a few reasons, and all that's really important about it now is the fact that Siobhan is completely isolated.

And Snape is my tool. Mwahah. And I feel bad now, because I know I have plans for him, but I can't quite remember what they are o.o

"Seamless sensual prose". Hah. But, thanks for that. I really struggle with any form of narrative writing. And often feel it's either rushed, awkward, or just superfluous and overly wordy to make up for lack of natural ability or some other thing like that, very much resembling this sentence.

Okay. I think I responded to everything in the opposite order in which it was addresssed, and am now done. Hee.

Reviewer: potteronpotluvhim
Date: 11/26/06 20:11
Chapter: Chapter 17: Disillusionment

wow amazing i love the last paragrapgh the way you ended it just............wow

Reviewer: SareBabe
Date: 11/26/06 19:06
Chapter: Chapter 17: Disillusionment

Ack! Ack! Ack! Wow, great chapter! I am scared that Lucius is going to get her back--big time! Oh dear, oh dear!

Reviewer: Purplemage
Date: 11/26/06 9:57
Chapter: Chapter 16: Rising Tides

Hey Jenna, let’s try this again, shall we? Ok, here we go. First of all, I’ll tell you why I love your fic: it’s different, it’s original, you’ve created an amazing OC and it’s well written. There are not many people who would dare to write about a romantic relationship of a married man with a student, and for that I applaud you, because I love reading fics that are different and out there. (I think I just out-gayed myself)

Let’s start with the characters because that’s the part I like the most. There are not enough praises for the incredible Siobhan Murphy. She is as real as you can get and besides that she’s my kind of female character. She’s witty, smart, strong, independent, and has a great sense of fashion. It’s funny because in the scene of the Death Eater attack in Diagon Alley, in my head I was picturing Siobhan wearing high heels, and in the end she was wearing them. That shows that you’ve made such a good job with her characterization that I can actually imagine what she’s wearing/looks like without you having to describe it for me.

The characterization of the canon characters is worth mentioning as well because it’s just fantastic. Lucius is perfection. I don’t think I’ve ever read such a great portrayal of this character (yet again, I haven’t read many fics with Lucius in it, but that’s besides the point). You took a character that J.K. left a little flat and turned him into a human being. I may not agree on many things he does and on many of his points of views, but I understand them. I understand why he thinks the way he does and as an author I think you should congratulate yourself for achieving this because it is not easy at all. The other canon character that I love how you portrayed is none other than Mr. Potter himself. I just love his relationship with Siobhan and how he has the need to protect her; it’s annoying and sweet at the same time. It’s very refreshing to what we’ve come to know as the typical Harry friendship.

The setting is great. The descriptions of the Malfoy Mansion were just delightful. It was so decadent and elegant (all that I love). I think the black marble table will stick with me forever (and what happens on the table also). The fact that it takes place during the wintertime adds it an extra touch. The weather is just another excuse for Siobhan and Lucius to look for ways to warm each other up. Another of the scenes that will stick for me is the one at the beginning where Siobhan is in the train looking through the window. I don’t know why, but it was beautifully described, and I can really relate to the looking-through-window-and-not-paying-attention thing.

My only critique is for the flow department (that sounded weird). I felt that Siobhan and Lucius got together a bit quick. I would’ve liked to see a bit more sexual tension between the two before they finally get together, but that’s just me. I like slow romances, but since the attraction of these two is mainly physical at first is understandable that they hooked up quickly.

Well, there is really nothing to say about the plot because I already raved it. As I already said it is original and refreshing. It is something that I had been looking for a while in fan fics. Keep up the good work, Jenna. I’ll definitely keep an eye on this.

PS: I can’t wait to see what’s going to happen. Since Harry and Snape know about the affair this just got more exciting.


Author's Response: Hee, thanks, Harald. Siobhan's characterisation, apparently, runs right down to her toes? *hug*

And, yeah, I didn't want to prolong the actual "initiation" of their relationship just because a) it's the tip of the iceberg, and b) it sort of benefits the dynamic. It was definitely a rushing into something and getting caught up so fast that it confuses the emotions and you don't know the difference between love and lust and blahblahblah. *cough* And, YAY for wintertime. *wishes she had someone to warm her up* sigh. And, also thanks for the compliment on Lucius -- I was talking about that to another writer the other day, the process of taking a 'bad' character and revealing a more human side. The only problem is that some people just don't want to accept it and think I'm romanticising. Heh. *is definitely not romanticising Lucius any time in the near future* Anyway. *hug* Glad you enjoyed. Thanks for reviewing.

Reviewer: GoddessOfSlytherin
Date: 11/26/06 2:00
Chapter: Chapter 16: Rising Tides

wow, i haven't been on MNFF in forever, adn it was quite a treat to read 5 or 6 chapters all in one sitting!

you write Siobhan with such haunting accuracy, it's frightening. So true, how you have her justify the reasons for her affair: lack of courage to go after true happiness, etc... Chillingly beautiful.

Reviewer: dragon mystique
Date: 11/17/06 0:00
Chapter: Chapter 16: Rising Tides

Wow...I've been reading this story for the past two days and I must say that Lucius has never seemed so...delectable before. I've really enjoyed this and I hope you update soon! **nudges** (wonderfully talented uber-awesome tiramisu eating Jason Isaacs loving Head of House) please?????

Reviewer: hogwartsduchess
Date: 11/14/06 7:52
Chapter: Chapter 16: Rising Tides

*has shamefully neglected her duty in reviewing this for long enough*

Dearest Jenna - I shall attempt to write a truly well-rounded review and not gush - but I might not be able to do it.

I can't do it! I love this fic, and I'm truly sorry I never got around to reading it sooner. I love the way she's starting to notice that Lucius isn't quite what she thinks - though I do pity her when she discovers that he is truly a Death Eater, as she's so adamant that he isn't.

You're awesome!

Reviewer: SomberBallad
Date: 11/13/06 0:24
Chapter: Chapter 15: Secrets Revealed

I never review this story just because I never believed I could give it a "spew-worthy" review. Granted I think, I hope, you know I am in love with "Sins" it is my guilty pleasure and Siobhan is my absolute hero. This chapter, as I've told you, is my favorite of all the chapters, and there really is no smut in it at all. I love the chemistry in it though, it just flies off the page...err..computer screen.I find that far more attractive alot of the time compared to smut. I know that Harry annoyed Patrick a lot of the chapter but I thought Harry was incredible, I don't know if Siobhan feels the same way but hindsight I would want a friend like Harry, who really cares enough to stalk me to see if I were okay. I thought he was really amazing this chapter, and his chemistry with Siobhan was so intense that I was almost tempted to believe the Cult...well almost. And then Lucius and Siobhan's banter was absolutely adorable, and their sefllessness. Anyway to wrap up this long but not so indepth review, I want to say the last scene between Harry and Siobhan was priceless, one of the best ineractions between characters I've ever seen. I want to read this chapter over and over again just so I can read that part. It felt so real and both their characters became so real. When Siobhan says:

“And it’s not so simple for me to just throw away my life and start fresh. My life is not a fairytale. I’m not a character in black and white story, who defies her predestined fate by way of difficult life-altering decisions. I do not plan on being swept off my feet by a white knight for a happily ever after. I use my talents to make the most of what I have, because I don’t possess the courage to take a chance and change my life. That is what separates us, Potter.

I sympathize with her and at the same time I feel like I'll never understand her and I can just picture Harry standing there gaping just wondering what to do. Oh, that monologue is so powerful, I feel like I could use that as a famous quote.

Okay so enough gushing, I just wanted to let you know that this chapter was unbelievable, the best work I've ever seen out of you! I love this story so much and you so much! *hugs*

Reviewer: Fantasium
Date: 11/09/06 10:37
Chapter: Chapter 16: Rising Tides

*mutters at half-written review left on the computer in Hudiksvall* Ah well, it won’t be the first time I’ve re-written a Sins review, and most certainly not the last. =)

She found that he did his job well and that, while either in his arms or simply his company, she found a certain peace with the world and with herself.

That ‘certain peace’ gives me such mixed feelings. I am happy for Siobhan that Lucius can give her comfort… but also afraid that it is all she will ever get, this frail peace. I know my words don’t really make sense, because if I would have wanted to see her in a normal, functional relationship I wouldn’t have liked the idea of Tiramisu to begin with. All I want is to see Siobhan Murphy and Lucius Malfoy being truly peaceful and comfortable and secure with each other – is that too much to ask, oh Great Creator? >.>

And, ahem? Exactly where has Harry gone to, and what is he doing? I mean, just as Siobhan I assume it’s got something to do with the war, but I want details! Which, by the way, makes me very curious about how much we will find out about the fall of Voldemort (oh, come on, don’t give me that look – I refuse to believe that you will let Voldemort live). With Harry being Siobhan’s friend, you really have the option of letting her know very little or a lot… interesting.

A small smile passed her lips as she passed through the hidden corridor as she admitted to herself the honesty of her longing for him.

Mmm. Little moments such as this one… Siobhan thinking about Lucius, or Lucius thinking about Siobhan; there’s some real magic there, and you make your readers feel the desire and devotion between them.

And then, *fangirl alert!*, the scene with Snape is just so bloody brilliant and squee-worthy. I feel rather bad about it, because I find that I like how Lucius acts towards Snape. Oh, he’s being so supremely arrogant and superior, and it suits him so well. Which leads me to –

…pleased not only with being termed a ‘fine woman’, but at the ease Lucius showed at dealing with those inferior her to him.

- interesting! I’m not sure what I had expected of Siobhan… I wouldn’t have thought she’d be upset with Lucius for treating Snape like this, simply because he’s Snape, but I also was a bit surprised to see her pleased with it. But don’t get me wrong, it fits perfectly. If this side of Lucius appeals to me (oh, my poor, corrupted mind), I can only imagine how Siobhan must like it.

“It is fortunate that you are quick-thinking enough for the both of us.”

*sniggers* Oh, the old smooth talker. I love it.

“Or is your grasp of manners disadvantaged by the blood of your filthy father?”

Gah. That line is so well-placed that it took me like 5-6 reads of the chapter to react properly on it. At this point your readers are so distracted by Snape’s intrusion and upset because he’s disturbing Siobhan and Lucius (well, at least I am), so why should we care about such a remark? But it is there. Your Lucius is truly Lucius, with his disgusting ideals. I don’t get it, how you can make me smirk at his superior behaviour in one sentence, and then scowl at his views on purity of blood in the next.

“I could not have expected something quite so scandalous.”

*pauses to snigger* Oh, really?

“How would you have me to that?” he asked with a smirk.

“Make love to me,” she offered readily.

“Yes, that sounds like a fine idea,” Lucius murmured. “Come, let us go upstairs, so I can properly put your mind to ease.”


Sorry for the long quote, but - *dies a sweet death of Tiramisu*. And as if that wasn’t enough –

…and her mind found tranquillity as his mouth and fingers found all their favourite places.

Gah. I can’t believe that although I’m regularly spoiled by, well, you know, smut, lines like the one quoted above can still affect me more.

Now then, I wonder what will happen in chapter 17? >.> Excellent work, my Personal Genius.

Reviewer: Periwinkle
Date: 11/06/06 17:58
Chapter: Chapter 16: Rising Tides

Here's review Part 2! (Sorry for messing up your page.)

You build things up nicely in the beginning, with McGonagall and Siobhan's conversation, leading me to assume that Harry and Co. were actually in Hogsmeade, talking to Lucius or something of the sort.

The part that you wrote in -- about Siobhan's feelings on Harry and his part in the war -- was, I thought, truly exemplary. It gave a good bit of insight into how Siobhan perceived Harry's role in it and how she thought of that situation.

And Siobhan could not envy him such a life.

There's something in this sentence that catches my eye...your usage of words creates a phrase that is strong in expression. The words 'could not', 'envy' and 'such a life' cast a certain aura around these two characters (Harry and Siobhan) that delves into characterization: what Siobhan's outlook on life is and how she would like to spend it; we can make out that she doesn't like the way Harry is leading his life. I'm probably overanalyzing this sentence, something that I usually do, but I wanted to let you know that is is one of the better sentences in this fic. With each passing chapter, I feel much more closer to Siobhan and understand her and her motives better. It goes without saying that your characterization on her part and how you let us know more about her is wonderful. xD

“I’m simply tired of your moronic tangents.”

*looks around* Splendid word choice, anyone? Lucius is another HP character you're quite comfortable with; it shows how well you've depicted him.

For constructive criticism, there's only a small matter that I caught: however properly you've written the aforementioned characters, I'm not quite satisfied with Snape's permormance in which he is conversing with Lucius. Snape seems to equal Lucius in some way; you make them both sound somewhat eloquent, in this section:

“Well, well, well,” Snape said silkily, “what have we here?”

I've always seen Snape as much more harsher, a critical and minimalistic person. See, in one instance -- 'Lucius interrupted Snape’s haughty discourse with a spiteful glare.' -- you describe Snape as haughty and accepting in terms of finding out what Lucius/Siobhan were up to. I would interpret his behavior being more cruel and severe.

The little clues towards the end that hint at what Lucius 'is capable of' increase the anxiety between the two. You've formed something special between Lucius and Siobhan, it isn't love, and it isn't basic need, either. You're keeping me wondering about the status of their relationship; that's quite impressive.

Siobhan curled up into Lucius arms and studied his face with ardour

It's almost as if Siobhan isn't sure of what she's gotten into, of who she's dealing with. I love the part about her studying his face, like she's trying to hold on to him and never let go.

Reviewer: QuIDdITch_PlaYA
Date: 10/29/06 19:48
Chapter: Chapter 5: Lucius

I really love Siobhan. She's such a well written character. You've given her such a cunning character. She fits well in her house in personality, though obvioulsy not in opinion. She's so sincerely, albeit distantly, kind to Harry (if that makes any sense) but so conniving when it comes to Draco. It's so amazingly written. Good job on this wonderful character and story!

Reviewer: kwaki_vindaloo
Date: 10/27/06 1:47
Chapter: Chapter 1: Dangerous Attraction

excellent so far!!! i lurve a good story!!!

Reviewer: Purplemage
Date: 10/25/06 12:13
Chapter: Chapter 16: Rising Tides

Finnally I get around to finishing reading and reviewing your lovely fic, Jenna. I read from chapter nine till the last one in one sitting and I could read more. Seriously it's just wonderful. This will be a more general review since I haven't reviewed any of the other chapters.

First of all, Siobhan. You're probably tired of hearing this, but I don't care. I LOVE her. Seriously, it's my kind of character. She's witty, smart, a bit of a loner, sexy, and she wears heels!!!! What more can you ask for? I just love those dialogues between her and Lucius, they're a pleasure to read, seriously. Always teaching each other and making sarcastic/witty remarks. One of my favorite discussions was the one they had about the Muggles. She sometimes insults him, but always in a very classy way.

Reviewer: TaylorBlack
Date: 10/25/06 10:48
Chapter: Chapter 16: Rising Tides

where is harry? please update!

Reviewer: Dumbledore Prince
Date: 10/25/06 7:25
Chapter: Chapter 16: Rising Tides

It seems that my suspicions about Lucius are becoming true, after all ...

That was a nice twist in the chapter, Jenna. So ... now Snape knows, and Siobhan is as suspicious as ever about Harry.

Nice characterisation of Lucius and Snape in that little argument. Lucius resorting to his usual threat tactics was completely IC. I like the way you showed Snape's nasty and sinister side: I've seen too much OOC!Snape. Then again, is it possible to expect OOCness in one of your stories, Jenna?

~Mini.

Reviewer: ExpectoHouseElf
Date: 10/25/06 0:42
Chapter: Chapter 16: Rising Tides

O_O finallly....*blushes* i know that you are probably very confused about the request i sent to you several weeks ago regarding a certain chapter i've written...but you must understand that my internet was cut off while i was having it switched over to high speed and so now i no longer have the address i sent with that message....sorry if that was all a bit confusing to you..but if you would like to read the chapter (or story for that matter) you are more then welcome to read it on the mystic runes site (the only place that would publish the story for its graphic nature O_O) i would be more then welcome to read it...i must say that because of its rating you must sign to be amember ( i know *rolls eyes*) but here is the link just to get your approval..and if you wish at any time for it to be taken off..i'll just adjust the hallway to abedroom hehe..http://www.harrypotterfanfics.net/library/viewstory.php?sid=538&chapter=1
enough about me though!! i'm so glad you posted another chapter ^_^ this story is just deliciously wonderful and icna't wait toread more!! a most adoring fan - angel

Reviewer: Fantasium
Date: 10/23/06 10:10
Chapter: Chapter 15: Secrets Revealed

*cough*

Why am I coughing? Because the first paragraph of this chapter totally reminds me of the very beginning of my relationship with Teddy. The sneaking out, especially after nightfall, the excitement, the lingering thrill when creeping back into your own bed in the small hours of the morning… Yep. You’ve got it all there, Miss Brilliant Creator.

“I didn’t think your observations were so keen.”

None of us did, Siobhan. One might almost think he’s got a crush on you or something…

“Look — I’m well able to look after myself,” she insisted. “I know you’ve got that hero complex bit going on, and that’s lovely, it really is — but I don’t need saving.”

Sure you do. But Harry’s just not the man for the job, is he?

“I don’t want to risk getting detention this weekend,” she admitted honestly, inwardly making a wish “Just in case.”

Good girl!

Potter was too curious for his own good, and, perhaps, it was time to come up with a way to divert his attentions elsewhere.

Oh? I wonder what kind of diversion you had on your mind there, Miss Murphy?

Perhaps I should address your author for a while? Jenna, it’s quite wonderful how Siobhan and Lucius have come to enjoy the weekends, and Friday evenings in particular. Because Fridays are just nice like that, you know. I’m grateful for all the Tiramisu banter you put into this chapter, because really, I could read nothing but that for the rest of my life and never get tired of it. And there’s something new every time, like:

“Sorry. I’ll try not to unjustly attack your overwhelming masculinity again.”

Ahem. Why would you put this sentence in a place where it felt completely inappropriate for me to giggle at it? ;) Seriously though, it’s amazing how you can have a character say this to Lucius Malfoy. Siobhan is not “like made for the Harry Potter world”, no, it’s like she has always been a part of it, like the very purpose of Lucius Malfoy was to be her lover.

Lucius escorted her to the door, and they kissed once more on the doorstep before saying their last goodbye.

Mmm… You know what? I think I like these casual Tiramisu kisses even better than the foreplayish ones. You don’t really have to write it; every reader who knows Siobhan and Lucius will feel the closeness, the affection and the belonging in such kisses. Had I not had someone to be close with whenever I want to, I know that S/L kisses would have been the thing to make me most jealous when reading Sins.

Oh, it makes perfect sense for Harry to be following Siobhan under the invisibility cloak! It’s such a very Harry thing to do, out of curiosity, concern, rashness and love. And all of the following Harry/Siobhan dialogue, it’s wonderful, and although I had not missed it before I felt when reading it that it was needed.

“And that, to you, is a lie?”

“That, to me, is a betrayal.”


*small shudder* You win at dialogue, dear.

“There is nothing within that man I could ever love.”

*turns to Siobhan* Yeah right. Sure. And my name is Mrs Connolly.

I do not plan on being swept off my feet by a white knight for a happily ever after.

*turns back to Jenna* But she will be, won’t she? Pretty please? Especially the ‘white knight’ part. 0=) Anyway. Wonderful chapter, min älskling. Much love.

Reviewer: TheVanishingAct
Date: 10/14/06 11:13
Chapter: Chapter 15: Secrets Revealed

*gulps* Well, I had planned on re-reading this since it's been such a long time since I read it initially, and I didn't even read the beta'd version. So I merrily come to MNFF after a nice cup of hot chocolate and prepare myself to read and review this. I just... I cannot believe how much better each chapter gets. When you get a new one, it's as if it's better than the last -- and nothing can ever beat it. For instance, chapter seven is brilliant, and the kiss is sinful itself, but what happens in chapter eight is so much more gratifying than chapter seven. I believe chapter fifteen is the best chapter so far, because not only does the characterization gain miles more depth, but the verbal battles continue to get bigger and better, and possibly more dangerous. The writing continues to get better, and -- best of all -- more of the plot is revealed inch by inch. I am before the creator, I am not worthy. *bows* ;)


I'm going to go ahead and fit in some crit before I continue onwards, because I will likely forget about it while I'm raving about everything. First off: “You know, I do love that smile of yours,” Lucius murmured hungrily While I absolutely love the line [Siobhan/Lucius is love], it does not make it exempt from having a period at the end. ;) Also, this line needs one too: “Perhaps you should open it,” Lucius remarked, and Siobhan noted that he hid his impatience admirably, though she knew him well enough to not be fooled


However, the short weekend passed as most enjoyable times do, and quite soon, Siobhan found herself sitting in History of Magic on a Monday morning with a complete lack of ability to care about the unimportant, monotonous drones of the incorporeal Professor Binns. I absolutely live this line, because you captured everything about a dreary, boring school day due to your descriptions. Everyone that I know hates Monday mornings, and we all know Professor Binns is someone we'd rather never have a class with. I love Siobhan during this whole scene -- especially when she and Harry get in a little verbal battle of their own. *sniggers* Oh, and this line: “Don’t ask questions you know the answers to, Potter,” Siobhan replied tediously. “It makes you seem like an idiot.” seems to echo a certain line that a certain someone you have taught us to love... is she perhaps learning something from Lucius through their affectionate banter? *sighs* Gorgeous.


“Look — I’m well able to look after myself,” she insisted. “I know you’ve got that hero complex bit going on, and that’s lovely, it really is — but I don’t need saving.” *dies laughing* "hero complex"? *rolls on the floor* One reason I love your writing is your complete ability to keep a healthy balance of suspense and hilarity without completely switching gears. *love*


I'd also like to briefly mention this line: When the last owl had found its recipient and flown off, she shrugged and told herself “perhaps tomorrow.” I believe that's as fluffy as Siobhan gets, and it so "Awwwwww!" inducing. It also makes the next moment when she receives the letter so much more endearing. I love it.


Now -- at first, Harry is starting to get on my nerves in this scene. I like him well enough, but his continuous questions and curiosity makes me want to pull my hair. However, I LOVE Siobhan's ways of dealing with this. She's learned so much from Lucius -- she can push Potter out of the way long enough to get where's she going... and at the end, when Harry is simply being such a flobberworm -- she totally beats him flat. XD Oh my lord, I love Siobhan. And I'm beginning to dislike Harry quite a bit. *cough*


When we get to Siobhan and Lucius putting their clothes back on [! btw, we didn't get at least some sort of smutty reward for dealing with Harry's constant interruptions?], they get to the best part of the chapter -- we are shown Lucius' true character, and the suspense of a big argument breaking out is so close to swallowing me that I was dying for something to happen already. Which, it did, since she opened the dainty box [*sniggers*, by the way] to get to the lovely ring. All their banter ceased when she looked on an elegant ring with a sparkling, clear stone setting. There were small engravings, but they were subtle, and the ring was not extravagant at all, but certainly unique. I absolutely LOVE this ring and the moment paired with it. Since the amethyst is my birthstone, and also my favourite semi-precious stone, I have a connection with this ring, and I hope Siobhan keeps it forever and ever. And it's at this moment I realized that Lucius and Siobhan got into their fiesty!banter due to Lucius trying to protect her, and to make sure she'll try and keep herself safe, since he cannot. I love that you put that in, because I've always assumed that a Death Eater, no matter how "close" he/she is to Voldemort, that there is no sure way they can protect anyone close to them. OMG GUH JOYGASM.


And, as Siobhan makes her way to Honeydukes, we find out Harry FOLLOWED her. POTTER, YOU EVIL... GAH. Sorry, getting a little emotional. *cough* Anyways. The fight between them seemed so surreal, like they shouldn't even be fighting. It was phenomenal. "...If you can honestly tell me that it’s your first choice in life to be chased after by a sociopath with a snake fetish —” *DIES* I also liked how Siobhan explained her fate, and the difference between her and Potter [wait, did I just type "Potter"? X.X], although... "...His philosophies are corrupt, and while his arrogance entrances me, it is not something I would love. There is nothing within that man I could ever love.” DAMNIT SIOBHAN, YOU KNOW THAT IS NOT TRUE AND I -- I-- *SOBS*


*cough* Sorry, got emotional again.


This chapter was brilliant! I loved everything about it -- I think that it is one of the few stories I have ever read that made me feel emotional. I'm almost scared of the next chapter -- if it's better than this one -- which, by my theory, it should be -- what the heck is gonna happen next? Lord help us fanboys/girls. X.X

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