Reviews For Sins of the Father
Reviewer: Fantasium
Date: 01/29/07 9:36
Chapter: Chapter 18: Wounded

First Fangirl reporting for duty, Miss H and Miss M. *salutes*

I’ll start with something not-so-related to the chapter. I’ve been reading some other things than Jenna-fic lately, and… I don’t know. Letting my gaze travel along your sentences feels like putting on a comfortable, well-worn piece of clothing, like hugging a loved one you haven’t seen for very long, or simply like being home. For all I appreciate different styles of writing, nothing can ever even compare with your writing, to me.

Now, that over and done with, I will talk about chapter 18. No one who possesses any trace of compassion or empathy, or even a heart in their body, can help but feeling sorry for Siobhan. So you can imagine that I, who take a rather keen interest in her life, am completely devastated on her behalf. I want to shout at Lucius, and I want to shout at you, Jenna, for doing this to Siobhan, but I can’t, because you are also the two people who are able to make her happy again.

Before I forget about it, I’m going to say a few words about this sentence:

She imagined that will would eventually be born of a moving hatred against her ex-lover.

Now that I’ve read it a couple of times, it makes perfect sense. But when I first read it I had to stop and think (yes, I do sometimes think) to figure out what you meant. It’s the “will would” part that confuses me, because I read “will” like the verb, and not the noun. It might just be me who read it like that, but if you wished to make it a little clearer, this could be an option: That will, she imagined, would eventually… And then it’s the word “ex-lover”. I’m a bit divided on it. On the one hand, it doesn’t exactly sound wrong. But on the other hand, it doesn’t sound entirely Sins either. Perhaps something like, “…against the man she had called her lover.” /feeble attempt at being helpful

Pansy! That – that – gah! How sorely I am tempted to call her something so nasty that this review would be instantly deleted. But I won’t. I will just sit here and admire you for writing her in such a way that it makes me feel like this. Jenna, the way Pansy acts towards Siobhan almost makes me hate her.

Oh, and:

“So, I’m right then?” Parkinson asked, smug. “Tell me it wasn’t Potter?”

This is interesting. When I read it, I thought at once that, Ha! Harry would never hurt a woman so that she shut herself away for three days! Then, of course, I realised that he practically did, in another story of yours. I don’t know why, but this got me thinking of the relationships you write, and that even though they are all different, they are all so real.

You know, I really enjoy reading scenes with Siobhan and Snape in them. As Head of House, we know that he is usually rather patient with the Slytherins. But he has never been very nice to Siobhan, has he? Perhaps it’s because she isn’t a very typical Slytherin? And I find that I’m always wondering if Snape cares about her, at least as a teacher ought to care for a student, or if he’s just trying to interfere because he feels that he ought to, or because he doesn’t like Lucius. I am fairly indifferent to Snape as a character, but his position in Sins certainly makes him worthy of attention. Not that I would want you to spend your writing time and energy on it, but it would be interesting to read something Sins-related from a Snape point of view.

I don’t even dare to think about what Liam would have done if Siobhan had written to him in that state. Though, I almost wished she had, because that might have meant some screen time for Mr Connolly, and it might have made Siobhan feel better. But, yes, Liam would hardly just have comforted his sister, and I definitely don’t want Lucius in prison (or beaten/duelled to pieces, for that matter). We’ve seen enough of that, I think.

Harry. He’s in the chapter, yes, and I’m a little surprised that Pansy’s mentioning him didn’t trigger some thoughts of Siobhan’s about where he might be or do. But I also think the fact that she doesn’t care, or at least doesn’t think enough about it for you to mention it, really says something about the state she’s in. =/ Poor Siobhan.

And the end of the chapter… Fascinating. Siobhan is so sad and she is carrying such heavy thoughts, and yet, all of a sudden, she has so much power. Power over Lucius, and over his destiny. Her decision on whether to turn him in or not (which I know nothing further about, >.>) will not only mean that he goes free or goes to prison, but will also, somehow, mean that she might consider to be with him again, or that she will remove him from her life for good. Gah, the difficult situations and choices you create for Siobhan, Jenna.

You know… Though I suppose I have no right to be, I’m very impatient for next chapter. *pesters a little* And… what else can I say? Nothing that you don’t already know. I love this story, I love you, and now I need to go and give Pandamanda a Tiramisu pamphlet.

Reviewer: BrownSugar05
Date: 01/28/07 23:36
Chapter: Chapter 18: Wounded

Thanks for the update! More please!!!:)

Reviewer: Cheshlin
Date: 01/26/07 21:17
Chapter: Chapter 18: Wounded

This chapter really brings a lot about Siobhan out. Her inability to truly cope with what she found out about Lucius is very telling. She doesn't want to face what part of her has known from the very start, that Lucius might be good looking but he is very dangerous and a criminal. Her hunger driving her out of bed is also telling. She isn't giving up on life, but doesn't know how to deal with the present. I love this about her. I'm sure she will find some way around her current problems, and I look forward to seeing how she does it! Cyns

Reviewer: pandafan81
Date: 01/23/07 1:10
Chapter: Chapter 18: Wounded

Wow. Simply that.

If I thought the last chapter was emotionally charged, it couldn't hold a light to this one. *listens to the groans caused by her TERRIBLE pun* Moving on then...

Okay, so now you have me caught in your little web. Because I KNOW there are more details to the story based on one-shots and scenes from the future and so forth. So now I'm going to have to go on a hunt to track these tidbits down (hopefully less challenging and much more enjoyable than a horcrux hunt).

Beyond that other questions remain:
-Where is Potter and Co? and what are they doing?
-Where does Siobhan go from here?
-How will the information Siobhan has let slip (the Honeydukes passageway into the castle, and the fact that Potter has been absent from the castle for an unknown reason) effect what happens next?
-What will Lucius do?

Alright, well, I'm going to take my contemplations to bed with me.

*HUG* this is a fantastic story so far, and I will definately be one of your devoted followers strung out on tidbit-details you trow us in chats. I really do admire your writing style- you have a true gift dearest.

Author's Response: >.> You finished! Bravo! I will tell you that, if you haven't read "The Only Answer" [posted on this penname], that does contain ... well, not full answers to any specific questions, but ... well, answers. *nod* [I'm very tired. Sorry.] *hugs Amanda* Thank you dear, for all your kind words. You're amazing.

Reviewer: pandafan81
Date: 01/23/07 0:54
Chapter: Chapter 17: Disillusionment

As much as I had Lucius and what he does and stands for, I wanted him to get away with his lies-- or rather failure to tell the whole truth. I wanted him to get away with it for Siobhan. As much as she tries to deny it, she loves him. The fact is obvious from her worries and reaction to the dark mark. She's also angry at allowing herself to fall for him. But here I go, stating the obvious again.

Fantastic chapter. Really emotionally charged. I could feel Siobhan's utter disappointment. I'm actually surprised by Lucius' reaction to her outburst. He mus really love her-- he almost seemed ashamed of himself, because he had disappointed her. I was expecting her reaction, but I expected him to get equally angry and lash out. But instead, he defends her, even when she's defaming herself along with him. Perfect.

On I go, to the last chapter...

Reviewer: pandafan81
Date: 01/23/07 0:25
Chapter: Chapter 16: Rising Tides

ooooooh! two discoveries in two chapters... I get the feeling that something is unraveling here. What the outcome may be, I can't tell yet. But that's half the fun right?

Somehow I feel that Snape's knowlege of their relationship is going to be so much more detremental to Siobhan's happiness and most likely, health. He has hands in both Voldemort's and the Order's camps... plus sees Siobhan regularly as a professor. I don't think he's going to be pushed away so easily.

As for Harry, Ron and Hermione's disappearance... very interesting. I know your story is slightly AU- seeing as Lucius is not in Azkaban... but is it canon on the horcruxes front? Are they on a horcrux hunt? Or do you have a different idea in mind?

So many questions, and so few chapters left. So I better learn what I can!

Reviewer: Melodia
Date: 01/22/07 12:42
Chapter: Chapter 18: Wounded

And now, more than ever, I need to know what happens.!

Reviewer: pandafan81
Date: 01/22/07 1:25
Chapter: Chapter 15: Secrets Revealed

Wow.

All I can say is, Jenna, you have created a fantastic charater. She knows what she wants, she's realistic, she's scared, and contented to accept the fate that was laid out for her with "love" on the side. She's definately nieve, but I'm not sure that she knows that. She is confident and weak... a fantastic combination. I admire her despite her choices, and pity her for her circumstances. Not that she'd like the pity, I'm sure. I'd like to say I sympathize with her, but really, how can I- because I have no such life to compart it to. So, I guess I'm left with... *more rambling deleted for the sake of your eyes and boredom*

I'll be interested to see how this will effect Siobhan and Harry's relationship. You know... I was half expecting Lucius to catch up to the two of them for some reason, and then the shit would have really hit the fan...

So off I go before I speculate any more.

Reviewer: pandafan81
Date: 01/22/07 0:54
Chapter: Chapter 14: Mr Malfoy’s Reputation

...can you at least assure me you’re not doing anything dangerous…?
*snort*

hmmmm... Siobhan has let slip an intereting little tidbit that could be very dangerous in those specific hands that she adores so much. I'll have to keep that in mind.

The whole exchange with Tessie reminds me of Sirius' comment about how people should be judged on how they treat lesser than themselves. There are some big clues to Lucius' character there.

Okay... rambing again when I could be doing some more reading...

Reviewer: pandafan81
Date: 01/22/07 0:27
Chapter: Chapter 13: Prolonging The Arrangement

Hahahahahahaha! Lucius has it bad. I would love to go on and on, speculating on how I think the relationship will continue as she returns to school... But I'm more interested in seeing for myself. So off I go to the next.

Reviewer: pandafan81
Date: 01/22/07 0:14
Chapter: Chapter 12: Confrontation With Fear

Wow... the build up here is so amazing. It was obviously Lucius was the Death Eater that saved her. I'm beginning to think he feels more for her than just a good shag. I can't wait to see how Siobhan reacts when the truth comes crashing down on her...

Amanzing stuff here!

Reviewer: SareBabe
Date: 01/21/07 19:51
Chapter: Chapter 18: Wounded

Great chapter! It went by way too fast. I feel so bad for her, because in my own twisted way I was cheering for her devious relationship with Lucius. Lol!

I doubt anyone will believe her if she does turn him in, so it would probably be better if she didn't. Maybe she might have information that might be useful to Harry, though.

Update soon!

Reviewer: callmehermione
Date: 01/21/07 16:18
Chapter: Chapter 18: Wounded

I'm actually reviewing right away this time, as I'm generally a terrible person for neglecting the last chapter after lj.

So as I said before, the dialogue in this chapter was really the most demonstrative of how Siobhan's feelings have changed. Her careful air is kind of fading, almost as if she's just past caring. I like especially the way you created this atmosphere through her actions as well, how she stayed in bed all day and lost her temper at Pansy and wore her old clothes, etc.

The little twinges of sadness Siobhan feels whenever she's accused of something true are so real, it makes the reader sympathise with her no matter what. I feel terribly sorry for the poor woman. She seems lost without Lucius to ground her, almost. I can see now how the marriage is going to be easy for her to accept. Emotional instability!

You've presented her inner conflicts and the outer manifestations of them with an accuracy that makes Siobhan seem like she's realising that she's not as infallible as she would have hoped. It's sad, but like I said, very real, believable, and true. Thank you for a gorgeous chapter.

Reviewer: pandafan81
Date: 01/21/07 2:41
Chapter: Chapter 11: Black Marble

Okay, so I wasn't as productive with my homework today as I should have been. But I did get a couple of other little things out of the way so I can enjoy it fully tomorrow. *nods*

I liked how you tied in details from earlier chapters... Siobhan's fantasy about wearing a green dress and having Lucius approach her from behind... and to use that black marble table Draco had bragged about. It's fun to see her dreams come to fruition, and also a tad funny.

I wonder how much longer it will be before Siobhan finds out the truth about that "bruise". I'm very interested to see how she will react. She had openly opposed the Death Eaters already, but she also knows what Lucius stands for and is still in his (or hers rather) bed.

*contemplates reading another chapter*
*looks at clock*
Blast, I have to be up in 6 hours.. better not.

*hug*

Reviewer: pandafan81
Date: 01/20/07 2:09
Chapter: Chapter 10: Domination and Submission

After I quick glance at "the tens" I realized, this would be my 800th review. And as such... I figure it ought to be a good one.

whyWhyWHY was I not forced into reading this SO much sooner... sure Anna told me I had to, and tempted me with a position on the Ship Tiramisu... but GUH someone needed to twist my arm so much sooner!

I'm loving the characterization. I ESPECIALLY liked Lucius in this chapter. His dialouge, his mannerisms, were just perfect. A gengleman of old money, with old ways and old prejudices, but unfailing in his character. He's evil, but delightfully so.

The entire exchange earlier in the chapter, in the library is the prefect example. I guess, there's some satisfaction in a character knowing who they are- whether that be good, or bad, or a healthy mix of both.

I mean, really, I should detest the man. He's a Death Eater. He doesn't care for others (his equals or he precieves beneath him). He cheats on his wife- and is very cruel to her. And hardly seems to care for his son. You've brought out that confident side in him, and it's hard not to like him.

I almost pitty Draco. What would you really expect from a boy growing up in that house. He's despicable, and foul and rude... but he also hurts. He's fawned upon by his horrid mother, and recieves no attention from his father

Okay, clearly I'm just rambling here... but I love characterization and once I start, I'm a pain...

As for Siobhan. She's amazing. She's young and may be inexperienced, but she has her eyes open. She knows what's expected of her. And that may be selfish, to settle for a life she detests for a lifetime of money, but she's out to manipulate the system to her liking. She knows what she wants and goes for it. It kind of saddens me that she's not interested in love (being a romantic at heart myself) but she's not diluting herself. She knows what she's gotten herself into. Or at least I think she does. I don't really see her expecting Lucius to leave Narcissa... but does expect him to satisfy her. Again, I respect the confidence- I can't help but admire her.

And who knows what you have in store... I could be blowing smoke here and find out all too soon my perceptions are way off. But I guess, that's the fun part of reading- falling into another world- you never really know what's around the corner (even if you're the author!)

*HUGS* Hope it was as good for you as it was for me *giggles*

Reviewer: pandafan81
Date: 01/20/07 0:37
Chapter: Chapter 9: Up Against A Wall

The title of this chapter was just devilishly perfect and made me laugh before I even began.

And of course, in the wake, Siobhan did what all women do, they overthink everything. What does this mean? What happens next? How should I react?

But knowing what I do of the girl now... I think she will be smart enough not to overthink everything and 'enjoy the ride' *snort*

Reviewer: pandafan81
Date: 01/20/07 0:15
Chapter: Chapter 8: Fulfillment

It seems so fitting that today would be first-time-smut-friday... so appropriate!

And I find it higly amusing and ironic that she would recieve the gift Draco intended... just not from him. So yay for Birthday Sex!

So yet again, another lame review left hastily as I move on to the next chapter!

Reviewer: pandafan81
Date: 01/19/07 23:52
Chapter: Chapter 7: Tiramisu

The tiramisu will be fine.... Nice.

All I can say is, now I know why it's so darn popular with SPEW. *hugs*

Reviewer: pandafan81
Date: 01/19/07 23:12
Chapter: Chapter 6: The Games Commence

*stabs Draco* that slimy horny git. And I love how she and Lucious are teaming up against Narcissa. Although, why would anyone hate olives? However, they are being very clear on what they want... so they should just get to it. Yes.

*giggles and runs to next chapter*

Reviewer: VeniaTaint
Date: 01/19/07 9:51
Chapter: Chapter 18: Wounded

WOWOW!
~The Tainted One

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