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Name: Dragonology (Signed) · Date: 11/06/05 10:16 · For: Chapter 2: James Potter
Much better! I like this one much more than the first chapter since there's no more huge grammmar problems. I also think there's more detail in this one, which I like. You kept James pretty well in character, if a bit serious. The only part that seemed OC was when started saying Snape deserved to die and the line about "... Your miserable life" That just seemed a bit cruel to me. I like the reasoning behind why Snape hates Christmas; it fits the story and Snape's personality quite well. Great job, keep up the good work!

Author's Response: I thought the reasoning of why Snape hates christmas was a bit shallow. I never thought it was that good. Thanks. I should really trust myself more, shouldn't I?

It might sound cruel, but it is just like James to show complete hatred towards Snape. He should say miserable life. Besides, Snape, even though he is my favorite teacher, is nosy git.

Name: Dragonology (Signed) · Date: 11/06/05 10:10 · For: Chapter 3: Colin Creevey
Fear me! I am the first reviewer! Mwahaha! Okay, I liked this chapter more than the first, but I didn't like this one quite as much as the second because I found a couple parts confusing. Isn't the ghost of Christmas Present supposed to show the present? I got the feeling at the end that Dennis hadn't really died yet, so that would be the future, wouldn't it? Or did he really die? I got confused there. Other than that, I found the characters a little more IC (in character), which I liked more, personally. I didn't notice any major grammar problems, so that's good. Did you get the moderator you wanted? Great job, and a 10/10.

Author's Response: Dennis did die. HA HA HA. HE'S DEAD. HE'S GONE. HE'S FINISHED. HA HA HA. You'd better hope Snape comes clean. (If you know Christmas Carol, you'll know how it ends. The next chapter will be the last.

Author's Response: Dennis did die. HA HA HA. HE'S DEAD. HE'S GONE. HE'S FINISHED. HA HA HA. You'd better hope Snape comes clean. (If you know Christmas Carol, you'll know how it ends. The next chapter will be the last.

Name: Dragonology (Signed) · Date: 11/06/05 9:58 · For: Chapter 1: Twas the Night Before Christmas
I think the story is very original, especially with using only a half-curse. I agree with Stormy, however, in the sense you had some small errors. "Vein" is the blood vessel that returns blood to your heart and "Vain" means unsuccessful. "Vain" also means very proud, but I don't think you intended it to mean that. I really liked the idea of the semi-curse, it is very unique. You kept the characters a little OOC, but I think that works well with your story. Overall, I really liked it.

Author's Response: Wow, thanks. I never knew someone loved this story. I guess I did make a small mistake, but I am getting better, hopefully. Have you read my other story, Wizard War III? If not, read it and tell me what you think of that. I like WWIII a lot better than this one, lol. Thanks for the review.

Name: Stormy (Signed) · Date: 08/28/05 5:19 · For: Chapter 2: James Potter
Good chapter, especially with the reasoning behind why Snape hated christmas. I thought it was still a little OOC at different points and the story could be improved with a little extra detail. I'll definitely check out the next chapter - you've certainly got some great ideas, just pad them out with a little bit more detail.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. They do go a bit OOC don't they? Still, there is slow submission at this time, I don't when the next chapter will come up.

Name: Youth (Anonymous) · Date: 07/11/05 23:40 · For: Chapter 2: James Potter
Hmm...well this is pretty original, that's all I can say. But I like the way you used Colin in the story- he's one of my favorite characters and no one ever seems to use him in their fanfics!

Author's Response: Yes, I know this story is original. It's supposed to be a kind of...well...crossover of Christmas Carol, since it is a public domain, it's allowed.

Colin is my favorite chracter, period. If you like Colin so much, you should read my story, Wizard War III, it has both Colin and Dennis.

Name: Stormy (Signed) · Date: 06/19/05 13:37 · For: Chapter 1: Twas the Night Before Christmas
OOC means 'Out of Character'. And I'm not a huge Creevy brothers fan but you might change that :) I hope chapter 2 is up soon!

Author's Response: I resubmitted chapter 2. Hopefully, it will be up by tomorrow or the day after if there are no errors. Sometimes, even in my other story, there might be OOC.

Name: Stormy (Signed) · Date: 06/19/05 6:07 · For: Chapter 1: Twas the Night Before Christmas
I like the way you've started this fic, the story itself is very original and certainly could get interesting. Well done! But I have to say there were a few errors in the chapter. You said in your last review you wanted to be told what they were so...

"All they could do is Nurse Dennis, but their efforts were in vein." should be "All they could do was nurse Dennis, but their efforts were in vain."

I also noticed that Snape and Dumbledore particularly seemed OOC. I can't really see Dumbledore saying 'stuff' and I've always seen Snape as the quieter, more threatening type - he's not really likely to start yelling for no real reason. He's more likely to sneer, or threaten quietly...

As a suggestion, you could possibly get a BETA? Anyway, well done so far and I like the story itself so far but it could be improved if the charachters became a little less OOC. You've done well with the Creevy brothers though.

Author's Response: Ah the present tense mistake. Snape might not yell but when it comes to christmas...he can yell, he can scream, he can threaten to kill Dumbledore for all I care. And...oh...another Creevey lover I see? Me too. I dont have much time for BETA but I will if I can and remember. Pardon me for asking, but what does OOC mean. As for the story being original, yeah, its supposed to be like that. Sorry chapter 2 is taking so long, having a bit of trouble getting it through.

Name: Tia Blu (Signed) · Date: 06/15/05 8:42 · For: Chapter 1: Twas the Night Before Christmas
I must say it was very OOC and a bit strange for me. Well written, but I'd go through some more editing if I were you.

Author's Response: All you have to do is tell me what to fix and I'll get onto it if I can. :) I'm glad you liked it anyway, have you read my other story, Wizard War III?

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