Wow. I know I got hooked, because I read eighteen of the twenty chapters yesterday and stopped only because my internet shut off.
This is amazing. I love about sixty million things, but I'll list a few:
- the Fred-George twin connection
- the way all characters are included, in all generations
- the plot! I cannot write a thoroughly original plot to save my life, but yours is excellent. I love how I never know what's happening!
- and most of all:
The fascinating ways you've kept or changed characters. Hermione still loves books, but she really is savage, born of being mistreated all her life. Harry's pretty content, but very, very ambitious -- more so, I think, than in canon. Draco is interesting, as is Lisa -- the named-but-faceless character who is now an integral part. Remus (agh. Remus. I LOVE your Remus) and "Nyt" (hee hee) and Snape! I wasn't expecting Remus to kill him, but it was a great touch. Dumbledore, McGonagall, James and Lily! And I love how the role of the Marauders shifted, but their parts are essentially the same.
The Reapers are themselves brilliant. They're immortal, sort of, but what does happen to their bodies? Poor Cedric, though. I like Cedric.
Anyway. Fantastic story. Don't let this next chapter get to you! Whatever you write, I'm sure it'll be brilliant!
Author's Response: Thank you for your kind review. :)
COME ON, COME ON, COME ON, PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we really need another chapter!!!
Author's Response: It took a year and a half <.<
The emergence of a colony of radical Quidditch players in Antarctica who live their lives to the beat of that complex game is a recent development.
Can I just start this by saying your choice of countries is just hilarious? Alright, now that that’s been said…
He knew the man behind the scars and the prosthetics now, and Mad Eye Moody didn't scare him anymore.
Ah. Good detail. I love the way writers say intelligent things in order to make themselves sound like a confidante. Like, you could have said behind his scars an the fake leg, but you didn’t. In English, we’re supposed to say what word choice achieves. I’m not sure exactly. It just gives a little of you away, I think. As a writer, and a little bit as a person. Seeing as writing is so personal… and I’m really rambling. I just wanted to say that I like your style a lot.
I’ve never really thought about an Animagus potion. Either that’s your brilliant idea, or it’s on the Lexicon and I’ve been a bad little Potter nerd, and don’t know it. One of the things that amazes me most is the way you bring small details into the story, like this. Even if they’re not canon, you just skim over them lightly, adding the right amount of importance. Because you get those stories and that say briefly, “he went into the cupboard and got this which actually did this, this, and this.” That’s one of the things I like about this. The Red flags in the prison, the potion, the sticky stone, the bog monster curse… they’re all non-canon things, but you just make them seem like we should already know them, so you’re going to leave us in the dust while you just speed on, leaving us in the wake of your brilliance.
See, when I read your chapters things are so connected to the other chapters it’s a little hard to sort of pick out instances that stand out, because they’re like an unfinished scarf. It’s like.. you go to stop, but you just can’t. I mean, I’d love to write a paragraph on every single perspective you go through in this, but one, it would be incredibly long, and two, that would prolong the time it took for me to reach the end. I just… I don’t know how to explain it. Once you begin you can’t stop? Not so much. While this is a good thing it’s not the exact phrase I’m looking for. You just… get sucked in. Which is good, actually. Thank god for clichés. I’m supposed to be commenting on the whole Bart/Melinda scene, but... there’s just so much packed into each part I can’t pull something specific out to comment one once I’m on a roll. It’s all one neat, lovely little package.
Why were his best a brightest going down there to freeze their collective arses off?
Even though this line is quite funny, it doesn’t disguise the mistake. Cough. I believe the phrase is ‘best and brightest’, dear. I like the term collective. Like I said before, I like when you use more intelligent words. Sometimes, to the younger readers I suppose they could be confusing, but I just like the connotations associated with the less used words. *snuggles* And you said arse. Huzzuh for that.
Um, with the tunnel to London – brilliant idea, actually. But, I’m thinking… isn’t the Platform in London? They leave the station at eleven in the morning, and arrive at nighttime, because it’s dark when they arrive. So it’d take an awfully long time to get to London. They’d spend the whole day walking, if not longer, and then they’d have to walk back without actually doing anything. And someone told me that Hogwarts is actually… in Scotland? I’m not too great at geography, but maybe someone who actually knows this for definite, or lives there might be able to help you out… or catch you out :D.
And you know Bridget dear, that we will never hate you for your work. Because, quite obviously, you’ve already turned me into a rat and faced the worst of my wrath, haven’t you?
Author's Response: Hey! It's kinda funny that you pick out words in the composition and say, sophisticated, when I'm more used to people commenting on the simplicity of the prose style. As for the tunnel thingie. It first appeared way earlier in the fic, a secret exit from the school through an enchanted tunnel. This isn't Hogwarts and I haven't hinted where the school is actually located as of yet. But no, it isn't close enough for a real tunnel to be a reasonable transit mechanism. But as it's enchanted, the walk takes around 5 minutes. :D It's nice to have a SPEWer reading your fic. *hugs* Thanks dear!
At this point, a review is well deserved.
For starters, the Prologue was quite catching itself. I especially liked the first scene with Turpin and the Seer.
I’ll continue with random commentaries, cause I’ve forgot all I wanted to write when I was reading. Not good memory here, you see.
You’re making a great job introducing us your world. Really, it’s not rushed and not so slow for us to not catch up, and it’s being detailed wonderfully, still giving us the bigger picture. Those extract form Turpin’s Rule Book are a witty way to put in necessary information without overloading the narration. And they are very interesting too, your whole alternative universe is.
What else? I had a good laugh making a mental image of what the Dog Pack would look like. Really, that bold, intrepid little squirrel…
You have created/adapted many characters in this story, but I take my hat off and bow for the young, powerful Professor Tom Riddle. The introduction of him was brilliant. I felt bad for Draco (another character I admire), but it made Riddle’s role the more powerful, and well, Third-Tier like.
My twin had told me the entire story up to this chapter, and some random bits of the plot and characters ahead (says Lupin’s background is interesting, to say the least), and I really have to shut her up, ‘cause I would have liked it all to be surprise.
We were wondering, have you watched/read Full Metal Alchemist? It was my latest obsession, and this Fic fits with the mood and some other things.
Alas, kinda longer than I thought.
See you some chapters ahead!
Author's Response: Hello! Welcome to my universe :) I'm so in awe of bilingual people. I hope you continue to enjoy the story, and Peace!
God, ok, finally found the time to read it...where do I begin? Well, I was a little confused since I haven't really read it in a while, but that's not your fault. I love how George is finally making some real progress.I hope he isn't disappointed that he's a skunk. I'm very interested in the fact that Fred is apparently still there...gives the possibility that he can still be saved. I'm so happy that Isobel is back with her family! Can't wait til Lily and James get to her...that'll be a sweet reunion. I hope she doesn't freak out when she wakes up and she's all disoriented, though. Hmm...what else. It's cute to see Ron and Hermione interacting. I couldn't remember exactly what they were looking for, but, considering that they mentioned it, I realized that it's some way to reverse Reaper-ism to get Fred back. Which is a good thing. The Harry storyline right now is the least interesting to me, personally. I have a feeling that Harry being kept at Quidditch camp might hinder Dumbledore's plans some, which is a nuissance. I hope Harry has a reunion with his parents soon enough. Can't wait for another update!
Author's Response: Hey J,
George wouldn't be disappointed to be a stinker ;) Thanks for the review, and I'll see you around!
That was phenomenal. Bravo to the tenth power! We waited a long time for this chapter, but it was such a good one I can almost find it in my heart to forgive you (just kidding.) Please don't rush your work, but please update frequently if you can. I love this story. It is, without a doubt, one of my three favorites on this site-- and I've read quite a few. AU is hard to find... good AU is almost impossible. Every chapter you have written is incredible.
I really want to know what is happening to Lupin, James & Lily, etc. The only thing I find a wee bit difficult when reading your story is the wide number of threads one must keep track of. Quick updates really help here...
Author's Response: Thanks for the kind review :) And the next chapter is already at beta. So :D
I haven't actually read it yet, because I have to run to class, but I'm so happy you updated! We haven't spoken in like forever...we have to catch up sometime soon.
Author's Response: Tsk. Tsk.
wow! Fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. I loved the George plot line- just... wow. And I promise, no matter what the next chapter is like, no pitchforks.
Author's Response: You say that now, but when a catharsis chapter comes your way, if I mess it up, there will be an angry mob. Thanks for the kind review dear.
i love your chapters their very intricate and complete and wonderfully entertaining as well so keep up the good work i love reading your story
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you're enjoying it.
One thing that I find very interesting about your storytelling is that, from time to time, things just happen. A lot of authors give incredible amounts of build-up, and you do that to an extent, but you don't put us through too much agony when it comes to some aspects of this story. I've frequently found myself thinking, "Wow, Bridget's already letting this happen? Squee, she does love me!"
At the same time, I guess we are already on chapter 20. And sometimes you torture us with long periods between updates.
I am always intrigued to see the development of JKR's characters in deanine's universe. They George-Moody situation is keenly interesting, and my agony over George's twin being a Reaper is a hard thing to deal with.
"I don't want to disappear too," Isobel sobbed, "like Amy." = There should be a comma after disappear, shouldn't there?
Wendy is an interesting character. Even though I've only seen here for all of four paragraphs, I feel connected to her. Probably because she's helping Isobel and is compassionate for the other children.
I don't like transportation circles. I don't know why. I guess, because it's in Turpin's controlled world, it feels like another way that the wizards can't fully exercise their abilities. Can wizards Apparate in your world? I forget. Anyway, I do adore Quidditch and that it is so significant in your story. The Quidditch life, even outside of the cultists, is very consuming. I've always loved that Harry was so self-conscious early on in his Quidditch capabilities (basically until the end of PoA, if memory serves) and you show it so well here in your own world. Otto's reaction to Harry's situation is great. I chuckled out loud (what, it's night time, I had to be quiet).
All of the details of Bart discovering Melinda tearing James' room apart are great. They create such a quirky picture. The quirky picture helps to alleviate the impact of the deep emotions that are coming for Bart and Melinda. But do you cut off your scenes cruelly on purpose? Really, Bridget, shame on you for cutting the rope there. And then, "Fred's gone," and cutting off there. Though I guess George doesn't know anything else. -pout- Okay, you're ok on that one.
Fantastic. The Bart/Melinda tenstion is absolutely painful, believable, and perfect. I adore Bart. The more Melinda defends Albus and his plan, the more I hate her. I don't care if Albus is smart, he's not connected to emotions and complete goodness. He just has ideals.
Bah, I'd like to comment coherently on the rest of it, but I could no longer resist being sucked in and consumed by your wonderful storytelling. Harry's eyesight adjustment reminded me of the first time I had vision correction and wore contacts. I could see individual blades of grass when I was gazing outside again, and it was lovely. I'm wondering what happens to Harry now - not only the does he go back to school because he's Class I issue, but how does this affect the respossession by his family? And will Isobel be Isobel Potter again? How are they going to work that? George's animagus experience was absolutely brilliant. Heart-wrenching to see the twins together again. What will happen next?! I need more, as soon as you can manage it!
Author's Response: Hey Mar, I'm so glad you like the chapter and it spoke to you on so many levels. *hugs* The next chapter should clear up Harry's Quidditch situation. Isobel's return home is a work in progress. :D
this is one amazing story. i've read it pretty much straight through, not bothering to leave reveiws on old chapters. there are so many things i like about it, so maybe i'll just save time by telling you about one thing: the excerpts of "textbooks" at the start of each chapter. it is interesting to see the foreshadowing, the background, and clues in these passages. thanks for a disturbingly captivating piece of writing. please keep it up.
Author's Response: I'm so happy you've enjoyed the story. Thanks. :)
I LUV THIS STORY SO MUCH! I'm really glad that you got it together because this is one of my favorite stories on the whole site and I have been waiting for so long and this was worth it!
Author's Response: Thanks dear! :)
Isobel's almost home! I'm so glad she's with her grandparents at least. Now we just need Harry, and hopefully before Riddle does something bad to him. I'm very impressed with your writing, and I can hardly wait to see where you take this next. It's by far the most fascinating alternate universe story I've ever read, and I hope you keep the story coming, because I absolutely love every word.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review dear! Isobel and her grandparents are the stars of the next chapter. James and Lily are not far behind. :)
*raises the offical Reapers prodding stick and POKES HARD*
I love you. Really I do. And I have some special cream for that bruise, too. >.>
Author's Response: *is poked*
Oooo! I love this story! I've never been a big fan of AU, not because I don't fancy the concept, it's just that most authors don't muster what it takes to write a good one, & I'm a picky reader, but still I loved this one! It's great! I love it! & I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to wait for the next chapter after reading 19 continuously!
I'm a huge Sirius fan, &, though I admit I sort of hate it when he's described with dark brown hair & brown eyes (There are people who support a jet-black set of locks on their heads, really. & my father has greenish gray eyes.) I always had a rush when you mention him in the story. His personality is described as good as I, & I believe anyone, would wish for.
I almost wanted to kill the old owl because he locked him up!
Anyway, I can't wait to see how Harry would accept the drastic change in his life if he "dies" from the plague & joins the rebelion, & how his friends would take it (Especially Draco).
Please update pronto!
Author's Response: Welcome to AU then! I'm gald you buy and enjoy my take on Sirius, and I hope you keep enjoying the story :D Thanks for the review!
Deanie, you're making me cry. Over Severus Snape. Over Lily. And man, do I want to hurt that bleep Lust/Glutton/Greed badly. It calls for a certain word.
But still. The pressing matter. I cry for Severys Snape. Well. Not physically. But you make me want to SO badly. A man so broken, so destitute... I sat there shocked as Remus said that line... and i couldn't believe it. All the emphasis on the armband was tearing me apart. He'd recieved something, bene honoured... and it'd been stripped from him in moments. It's.. inhuman, awful and beastly. No one should... and now you're getting me riled up about the Human Rights treaty - in fanfiction. Oooh, you're good.
As for the Lily issue, the one thing I can that made me grin about it as an afterthought was the fact that she wasn't a bride to be. "How is he going to love/marry me like this?!" So you've earnt my respect for that. And, as with Snape's death, (although I didn't dare scroll up to where he was lying on the bed thingy) I had to read the part about her hair again. Awful, awful, awful. And, you warned me! And I still fell and grazed me knees! I still fell, and still hurt. And there's more, squee! *runs*
Author's Response: YOu hurt yourself? Oh dear. *sends iodine* It was a mean mean chapter. *nods* Peace.
"You have to say," Sirius said. He circled around the desk, throwing Peter back into his seat. He planted a knee in the traitor's groin. "Say what you've done." He applied pressure until Peter began to whimper helplessly. ... GUH. I like this Sirius. I forgot how much I loved him! I LOOOOOOVE the way you stil have those canon details and then you twist them - so that they're exactly the same, but different! And this interrogation brought out Sexy!Sirius. Bridget. Bridget. Squee.
And the Seamus - duh. I so didn't pick up on the hint earlier when Harry said he knew him. Sneaky. Very sneaky. Me dad's a Muggle, mam's a witch. SO clever. You're scary. I have never read another fiction that could potentially sand on it's own away from the Potterverse. It's... remarkable, really. You've won me over completely.
Author's Response: *hugs* Sexy Sirius is fun :) Thanks so much m'dear.
The evils of internet have denied me this chapter until now. And seeing as the laoptop is being difficult adnwon't bring up Word, you get the evils of typos... you turned Stephanie into a rat? *pout* Oh. You want me to review this chapter?
Well. I think you're being rather sneaky wiht Nyt; I at least know what's coming, even if I missed this chapter. And I'd like to know the significance of the woman on the back of the pendant. I've been reading Potter books long enough to realise that sometimes the small details mean a lot. So, any significance? Or will I find out later?
I'm also interested about Mrs Weasley. The poor dear will be in a good need of food. Those Siberian prisons sound like they're about as pleasent as the Bankok Hilton. And this leads me to thoughts of Azkaban - does this indeed exist, with no Ministry. Turpin (which I just typed as Turnip several times) seems to have rather a nasty dictatorship... and is it leaning towards a facist society? Perhaps a yes or no from this question would help define a better picture in my mind. And now, with trepedation, I head to the next chapter!
Author's Response: Hehehe, being a rat is a kind transfiguration on the scale of various transfigurations that will hapen in this fic. <.< :D
Today, loud girlish shrieking was apparent in the background. Heeeee. I noticed back in the "tea party" chapter that Charlie seemed to be channelling Bill's curse-breaking abilities, and I was dearly hoping that pecy would still be his anal, pedantic self. Thanking you for bringing me delight and reminding me of their names!
Author's Response: :D *loves*
Shouldn’t you be inside, schmoosing your way to the third tier. I think this should have a ?. *shifty eyes* But I'm off to read the next chapter. It's really not fair how addicted you've made me. And I'm like, a third of the way there. Oh. And the golden serpents *grin* giddy!Dark Mark. And I thought I'd mention that this isn't on Word, either, and that I appreciate the "stuffing his face" comment about Ron. That's what I love about this. The setting is AU, but the characters? Their old lovable selves :).
Author's Response: It should have a question mark. I should fix that. :D Thanks!