Reviewer: moonymaniac
Date: 11/01/05 16:18
Chapter: Loosing the Battle

Beautiful chapter. The addition of the characters, Derek and Sheila was so wonderful. Derek’s plans for flirtation make the outcome of this chapter so much more touching. Such a wonderful little detail thrown in that makes a big impact. War really is Hell! And you present that very well. (Too well, as I had to wipe my eyes to keep reading…the image of Sheila rocking…that was so heartbreaking! I’m going to choke on the lump in my throat!) I really love your characterization of Sirius, the use of the Dog Pack, how this story can be really terribly sad but keeps me reading. I usually try to avoid sad at all costs in my choice of entertainment. That alone shows me how good this story is. P.S. Sorry about that double post on chapter 4…I hate it when that happens. *blush*

Author's Response: I loved Derek, and I honestly hadn't planned to kill him. It just happened, and it was sad but appropriate. You can't have war without casualities, right? The Dog Pack slip in and out of the forefront, but they are quite an important lot of Rebels. They're my official foil to the Reapers, the group that I like to throw into conflict with the big-baddies most often.

Worry not about double posting. I happens to the best of us.

Reviewer: moonymaniac
Date: 10/31/05 9:16
Chapter: I Spy With My Little Eye

Remus a mercenary…I didn’t think he could get more intriguing! Aw…the slop is so good and squishy! *squeals gleefully* Not my most eloquent review! Remus does that to me!! I am in awe of your ability to write so many different arcs at one time. I can’t wait to get back to Remus’ (as you can imagine) but they are all so interesting. Bravo.

Author's Response: My take on Remus is a shallow unexplored travesty compared to your sensitive portrayal of the young Marauder, but my only excuse is that he's peripheral to the story. I'm afraid that the many arcs are starting to confuse some *cringe* Hopefully I'll be able to salvage the fic.

Reviewer: moonymaniac
Date: 10/31/05 9:16
Chapter: I Spy With My Little Eye

Remus a mercenary…I didn’t think he could get more intriguing! Aw…the slop is so good and squishy! *squeals gleefully* Not my most eloquent review! Remus does that to me!! I am in awe of your ability to write so many different arcs at one time. I can’t wait to get back to Remus’ (as you can imagine) but they are all so interesting. Bravo.

Author's Response: :)

Reviewer: ellidiot
Date: 10/29/05 17:16
Chapter: Thirteen Days of...

Nice chapter, enjoyed movement between characters, flowed well. But not sure i can take the strain of any more suspense. So many cliffhangers not sure i can keep track tbh. look forward to next chapter anyhow.

Author's Response: Not sure you can keep track? *weep* I don't want to confuse anyone. That is a very bad thing. This review is causing consternation, but that's a good thing. I need to know when a chapter (or a fic in general) isn't working. Thanks very kindly, ellidiot.

Reviewer: phoenix_fire
Date: 10/29/05 14:34
Chapter: Chocolate Frogs and Crimson Dragons

OMG, I can't believe you did that to Fred! It's great writing, splitting up the twins like that, but ARGH! This isn't my fic, so I can't tell you what to do, but will you go with the Wrinkle in Time-esque saving of the possessed soul and have George somehow retrieve Fred from Gluto using the twins' bond of love? Just wondering; I'm sure hgowever you do it will be cool. Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Torturing the ones I love. It's what I do. Saving Fred? You assume I will save him? Many thanks for the kind review :)

Reviewer: phoenix_fire
Date: 10/29/05 14:09
Chapter: Tripping the Light Fantastic

I loved the sing-along. Actually, it's sort of refreshing to see Harry and Malfoy as almost-buddies. Overall, I really love AU works, and this one is one of the best I've read. Keep on writing!

Author's Response: Yeah, when you take away the houses and the Voldemort it makes the road to friendship between those two a little easier :) Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: Padfootandahalph
Date: 10/28/05 21:19
Chapter: A Rebel at Heart

Another brilliant chappie. This Is quickly becoming my favorite fna fiction I've evr read!

Author's Response: Thanks :)

Reviewer: Padfootandahalph
Date: 10/27/05 18:36
Chapter: Prologue

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is awesome. how on earth did you come up with thiss kick *ss plot ITs Amazing! I LOVE IT!!! the first chappie is kinda sad though but if u cant write sad then u have no buiseness being an author right it rocks

Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed it. Hope you like the rest half as much. Peace :)

Reviewer: Her My Own EE
Date: 10/25/05 9:28
Chapter: Thirteen Days of...

Yes, the chapter skipped around but it also dealt with questions most of us would have, what is everyone doing for Christmas. I really like the story so far. Please update again soon.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review :) And I will update as soon as possible as always.

Reviewer: Billie Bowtrunckle
Date: 10/25/05 2:17
Chapter: Thirteen Days of...

Interesting chapter layout. Sometimes I think that unrelated clips can come off as slightly schizophrenic, but I think that tying in Lily's 'almost visit' to the group home and continuing the Harry storyline helped. It was also a nice touch to have Isobel get a unicorn from Lily which was also in the magicked protrait. I think that also gave the chapter more cohesion (BTW, I really love Miranda and Bart. You depict their mature love beautifully and it's appropriately understated - I wouldn't expect dramatic statements of love from a man married to the same woman for years and years, but thoughtful gifts that she would appreciate. The portrait was very touching.). This layout also reminded me of how many threads you have going in this story, which are many! If you were going for the 'ensemble X-mas storyline review', perhaps clips of Snape and Dumbledore would've rounded things off nicely. I laughed when I read, 'The Weasley house had been many things that Ron could remember; loud, cluttered, on fire...' Nice one to slip in there - very Ron and very Weasley. Loved it :) I'm also glad that you used Hermione's voice to point out Harry's inability to commit to many things. I think that's the thing that seems different to me, and I'm having trouble really feeling any sort of familiarity/connection with your Harry because I'm not getting that canon Harry's sense of conviction and self-righteousness. However, your Harry isn't damaged by the Dursleys so I guess it would make sense that he's a bit more accommodating (?). However, I'm certain that as your story progresses this will change and 11 year old wishy-washy Harry will (hopefully) evolve. Again, another very enjoyable chapter. I'm looking forward to seeing what you have in store with Riddle and the Slytherin heir.

From previous post: The Inca did practice ritualistic human sacrifice on children. They would hike them to the top of mountains, have them drink something that had a sedative-like affect, sacrifice them, and then bury them with offerings in shallow pits. Apparently, these children were raised knowing that was their fate and it was a great honor.

Author's Response: ARGH! I wrote a ten page repy to this review and it vanished because the site logged me out. *breathing*

-Take Two-

First off, glad the potential snapshot scizophrenia was mitigated as planned.

Melinda and Bart are a total squishy happy. I love to write them. :)

As for adding Snape and Dumbeldore, they were originally stated to have a scene, the two of them together. I was going to cue off the fact that neither really has any family. (One of the attempts at cohesiveness was the whole family theme) You know? But then it didn't flow, and what flowed was too melancholy, so I dropped it.

Someone has noticed agnostic uncommitted Harry and asked the question... when will he evolve? *grin* If you think about it, he's a kid who was raised by the state, a kid without anything that he really believes in. The first persuasive idealogy that is presented to him properly could very well change his life... After all it isn't Harry's natural state to believe in nothing. He's looking for something (someone) to believe in.

Ahh the inca will make an excellent evil muggle-killing religion. Good to know (though i still need to go do some reading on them).

Thanks so much for the wonderful, detailed, thoughtful review. Reviews like these are so very helpful. They clarify my thoughts and really let me know what worked in the chapter. :) :)

Reviewer: Lillian Potter
Date: 10/25/05 2:14
Chapter: Thirteen Days of...

This is a wonderfull chapter!!!! I love your story, the way you update so quickly, everything. Just one question: will someone realise Harry and his sister aren't orphans soon?, cause its really killing me!!!! 10/10!!! :D

Author's Response: You think I update quickly? I thought I was being rather slow. It's been two weeks afterall *grin* Thanks! As for Harry and Izzy. Some things will start to come together soon... at least come to light ;)

Reviewer: bkwrm0502
Date: 10/24/05 17:43
Chapter: Thirteen Days of...

Hi! It's C. Unlike my darling boyfriend, I didn't think it was terribly depressing. Granted, the first few scenes were, with Molly in jail, and Lily not seeing her children, and that muggle getting eaten by Nagini and all. But I thought the scene between Isobel, Harry, and Hermione was funny (though I do hope Harry and Hermione don't get into too much trouble...), and the painting was so sweet. I'm rather curious as to what Tom plans to do, though, to carry on the bloodline (and I'm curious as to whether his plans have anything to do with the priestess' plans to kidnap children). I'm glad Lily and James got the chance to be together for a while, too. I'm a hopeless romantic at heart, so I tend to focus on the sweet and sappy things anyway. Anyway, it was a marvelous chapter, and I do hope you update again soon. ~C

Author's Response: Greetings C,

I'm glad you enjoyed the sappiness. I try not to indulge in it too much, but it makes me happy too. (Almost as happy as the macabre twists and torture...)

Tom is a brilliant devious fellow. And he tends to get what he wants. How he'll get it, is the mystery (of his subplot anyway).

It's good to hear from you, and I will update as soon as the next chapter is fit for viewing. (And no I am not as OCD as Narcissa...quite)

Peace!

Reviewer: bkwrm0502
Date: 10/24/05 15:26
Chapter: Thirteen Days of...

Ah, excellent, as usual. Most of it was rather depressing, though. Poor poor Molly...off in jail because of George. I hope this doesn't really discourage him from joining the rebellion, he's be useful there. Great scene with Charlie and James, and James and Lily. And why, oh, why, did Lily not go in? I mean, it's because of Petunia, I'm sure, but still...she could have found Isobel. Darn. The scene with Riddle and Slytherin was slightly confusing, I'm assuming it'll be explained later on. Oh, and I hope this won;t turn into Harry/Hermione, I'm a Ron/Hermione shipper all the way. Anything else I have to say? Oh, yes, interesting scene with the reapers, but where was Fred? Maybe he isn;t exactly a full-fledged reaper yet...I don't know. Oh, and since you were wondering earlier, "C" is my girlfriend.

Author's Response: Hey bkwrm!

You thought it was depressing? Really? I was concerned that it was all too sappy. :)

George is going to have an enlightening productive spring. I will say no more.

Yeah, Lily didn't go in, though she did get to touch her kids with the gifts she left.

Oh dear, I didn't mean to confuse anyone with the Riddle and Salazar scene. Not sure what confused you, but in a nutshell, Salazar was elevated to the third tier back years ago after he betrayed Gryffindor, Huffelpuff, and Revenclaw in their own time. (Exposed this briefly in a Rule of Turpin excerpt, maybe that wasn't sufficient to get the fact out there) Riddle is his last heir. Those who drink of the elixer of life can father no children afterwards (this might be the inferred part that had you confused? will definitely have to reitterate that more clearly). Salazar is annoyed that Riddle drank of the elixer without fathering any kids, and is witholding a valuable family spell book until such time as Riddle finds a way to continue the Slytherin bloodline.

My romantic leanings are cannon as well. Harry and Hermione are friends almost like siblings. Harry was just picking on his sister, since she obviously didn't like the idea.

Where was Fred? Fred is Gluto, gluttony, and he was having a smashing time in the second smallest bedroom with Irritum, lust, and her new body (Did you recognize Fleur?)

Nice to meet you C.

Well, it's always wonderful to hear from you bkwrm. I apologize for confusing you, and hopefully will manage to straighten out those loose plot ends soon.

Reviewer: moonymaniac
Date: 10/15/05 18:23
Chapter: A Rebel at Heart

This is so heartbreaking. You are really putting Lily and James through the wringer. Not to mention us poor readers. Here comes the gushing… This story is brilliant. It has everything: action, intrigue, tear-jerking emotional upheaval, romance (James and Lily are so lovely), suspense, and just enough horror. And Sirius! I’m so happy to see him as he would have been without the horrors of Azkaban. And I’m sorry to stoop to this, but he’s just so hot! [Quote]: Sirius's utilitarian soldier's black robes only hinted at the athletic build they covered.”…."I've seen the posters. The sheriffs aren't amused by all the mocking your portrait does.”…."You really think I've been out picking up women?" Sirius asked. From the look of quiet expectation on Edgar's face, he did. "Well I haven't, yet. ..." [/quote]. Yep, HOT! Thanks for those images. I needed them to offset the sorrow.

Author's Response: Whoops! It doesn't usually take me three years to respond to reviews. Sorry! hmmm... you liked Sirius eh? Well, I know you well enough at this point that you should be happier than a pig in slop when you get to the chapters with Remus in them. *grin*

Thanks for taking to time to leave the lovely, well thought out review. :)

Reviewer: Billie Bowtrunckle
Date: 10/11/05 15:44
Chapter: Domestic Bliss

I loved the idea of Invisibility Knickers and the variable-sounding door chimes. Those details really make a huge difference (at least to me). The Potters were well done and I can't for the life of me figure out what Dumbledore's getting at by asking Miranda to write a sports column. I'm looking forward to seeing how that all plays out. OK, so Remus DOES have Lily thing then...or is it just general lamenting over the life he could've had? You almost had me hyperventilating with the mention of a 'girlish scream' (or something along those lines) because I thought it was Umbridge (I can't wait for her!), but Percy was almost as good. God, he's so annoying it's practically torture - keep it up! :)

I spotted something again; there's an extra 'more' in the following sentence: '...he was more showing more maturity than she would have expected given his age and his apparent anger.' I absolutely can't wait for your next chapter. I'm glad that you are continuing this story through year 4 as I'm interested to see how Harry, Ron, and Hermione mature in your story.

Author's Response: You know, I think Melinda and Bartholomew would really like to know what Albus is thinking too.

Does Remus have a thing for Lily? They were a class pair for five years. They were definitely friends. Could they have been something more? Remus will never know, because he had to leave, and James took over as Lily's pair, and eventually her husband. Does Remus maybe wonder if this pretty girl, one of his closest friends could ever have loved him? He'd be crazy not to. Is he still carrying a flame? The world may never know.

Thanks again for the constructive catch, and many thanks for the lovely, detailed, awesome reviews :) :)

Reviewer: Billie Bowtrunckle
Date: 10/11/05 15:10
Chapter: Chocolate Frogs and Crimson Dragons

Gluto - FRED! Argh! I'm just going to have to see if you answered my Reaper questions in one of my previous reviews about death and hosts because I'm dying to know what's become of half our our favorite pair! You really do a great job of incorporating dialogue into the story without getting overly carried away. The dialogue in the opening scene was very well done and I enjoyed reading it.

Just some overly nit-picky things I noticed: You forgot to capitalize 'Disillusionment' a number of times in the beginning paragraphs of the Lily/Remus section. Also (this is a bit anal), weren't the Aztecs only in Mexico, not South America? Should it be the Incas? However, this is AU so I guess anything is possible ;) I'm really enjoying where this story is going! Keep up the great work!

Author's Response: :)

Reviewer: Billie Bowtrunckle
Date: 10/11/05 15:10
Chapter: Chocolate Frogs and Crimson Dragons

Gluto - FRED! Argh! I'm just going to have to see if you answered my Reaper questions in one of my previous reviews about death and hosts because I'm dying to know what's become of half our our favorite pair! You really do a great job of incorporating dialogue into the story without getting overly carried away. The dialogue in the opening scene was very well done and I enjoyed reading it.

Just some overly nit-picky things I noticed: You forgot to capitalize 'Disillusionment' a number of times in the beginning paragraphs of the Lily/Remus section. Also (this is a bit anal), weren't the Aztecs only in Mexico, not South America? Should it be the Incas? However, this is AU so I guess anything is possible ;) I'm really enjoying where this story is going! Keep up the great work!

Author's Response: "Gluto - FRED! Argh!" -- That is exactly the response I was hoping for LOL I love Fred and George so. They have one of the most touching, strongest bonds, of any two characters in Harry Potter (in my opinion). Glad you enjoyed the dialogue, and many thanks for the constructive comments (I don't consider them nitpicky at all.)

As for the Aztecs and Incas, this is where I could BS with you and claim that in this AU the Aztec nation was agressive and overran South America, but I honestly was drawing the South America line in my head when plotting this along the Southern Border of the US. My HS geography teacher would die. North AMerica, Central America, South America...sigh...brain wasn't working. For now, I'm leaving it, but the next time I get motivated to rewrite. Aztecs will become Incas, but were Incas into Human sacrifice? Bears thinking about. :)

Reviewer: Billie Bowtrunckle
Date: 10/11/05 14:36
Chapter: Tripping the Light Fantastic

It's nice to get those lighter chapters mixed in with the more action/drama-related ones. I just skimmed the other reviews and I too enjoyed the hilarity of Draco and Harry croaking out songs together and then spell-arting themselves. I'm glad that Harry is starting to loosen up a bit more...sometimes I get the impression that he's a bit of a goody-goody. OK, questions: Are we going to see Harry's little sister? Lisa Turpin - any relation to the Emperor?

Author's Response: Yeah, Draco should be *cough* good for Harry. I think? No really, they should be good for each other, particularly after the little war Draco's planning.

Harry's little sister: Makes her first appearance in chapter 10.

Lisa Turpin: It's addressed a little later, but no, she's not biologically a Turpin. He gave his name to her family for a "service" they have been providing for quite some time. Her Great Aunt Mabel, the one currently keeping them in the good graces of the emperor, has had a little face time. :)

Reviewer: Billie Bowtrunckle
Date: 10/11/05 14:11
Chapter: High Tea

An action-packed chapter - excellent! The talking corpses were appropriately creepy. I'm fascinated by those Reapers and like the fact that they can inhabit multiple bodies (very body-snatcher-like); that could be really interesting later on. However, does the Reaper host have to be previously dead, and if the Reaper decides to evacuate the body (can they even do that on their own accord or do they have to be 'killed'?) is that host still dead? I also sensed that there was some 'lost possibilities' as far as a relationship between Lily/Remus, and I'm wondering if you are going to expand on that later on...perhaps on their mission? I am thoroughly convinced now that Dumbledore is with-holding valuable information and is maneuvering everyone!

Just a couple of things I noticed: In the books, Charlie worked with Dragons and Bill was the Gingott's Curse-breaker. I think you mean 'writhing' in the following sentence instead of 'writing': '...the black tattoo under it writing as if trying to escape the fury of that red glow.' I always appreciate it when reviewers point out typos so I can fix them because they always seem to slip by the best of betas! :)

Author's Response: The macbre chapter was fun to write. Glad you enjoyed reading it! I love how you took that little hint of a kernal and came to close to where this was heading, as far as the body-snatcher feel. The Reapers are rather unique creatures/demons. Their nature and the nature of those they inhabit is one of the fulcroms on which this entire fic turns. In other words, I can't really elaborate here and now :)

As for the Bill/Charlie issue, I've been waiting for someone to raise an eyebrow and ask me about the slight role reversal there. In a nutshell, when I decided to downsize Ron's family, Bill and Charlie became one brother. When an opportunity came to introduce Bill/Charlie I needed a curse-breaker not a dragon expert, so I went with Charlie's physique and my perception of his personality (because I like him better *shrug*) and Bill's career. It would have been simpler to just use Bill throughout, but I prefer Charlie as a character and I'd already written him into the fic as the older brother. If I'd planned better it would be less arbitrary AU-ishness, but I currently plan to leave it as it is.

Many thanks on the typo catch! It is very much appreciated. :)

Reviewer: Billie Bowtrunckle
Date: 10/11/05 13:41
Chapter: Duck, Duck...Goose

Another nice chapter. You've got me wondering about Dumbledore and what he knows or doesn't know about Turpin and the system. If you're going to follow cannon characterization (which you've been doing mostly), then Dumbledore would be the 'all knowing' and the character used to divulge important revelations/backstory information...then he'd have to know SOMETHING! I have a bad feeling about Fred. I also liked how you kept up Hermione's coping-mechanism even though she's only been reading for a year. This was a really nice line, 'Only a girl raised without the privilege of literacy could really understand the power in a book.' On to the next chapter...

Author's Response: Albus knows quite a lot that he isn't telling, but there's also a whole novel worth of stuff he hasn't figured out. Give him a few chapters. He'll start spilling some beans.

You should definitely have a bad feeling about Fred, as I'm sure you're aware by now.

I'm so glad you're still reading and enjoying the fic. :)

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