Hi, that is another great chapter for your story. This is one of the best fics I have come across. The characters have been painted perfectly with a dash of difference. You have upped the level of fanfiction writing by a mile. Great Job by your beta. Please update frequently; they are on the slower side. I cant think of any kind of criticism for your story. I will be following future chapters closely.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to review :) My beta is definitely awesome.
Sorry that the chapters take so long. I would like to get back to a chapter a week. Maybe after my move? It could happen... :)
again, i think u should pursue writing as a carear, god nos i want to, but u rely are that good, i loved it, fudge, aproffesor, great, i do have one question, if mcgonnogal is 2nd tier and riddle is 3rd, y isnt he headmaster?
Author's Response: Hello Padfoot,
Good question... The answer is pretty simple. Riddle doesn't want to be Headmaster. He has more important things to do.
Thanks for the kind review!
I think I’ll just being this review by saying this story is incredible. I printed it out (which took quite a long time, I must tell you) for a plane trip, and devoured it. (I must thank you; this story made the trip so much easier for me to calm down, as I’m so afraid of flying).
I’ve read a lot of AU stories, but so far, this is my favorite. The basic idea, just to begin with is very creative. The idea of telling kids just how good they are compared to their peers is horribly intriguing.Draco’s characterization in this story is very interesting. A lot of him is the same from the books, but an element that I don’t think anybody has thought of yet is shining through. I just can’t put my finger on it. I wonder how his Veto is going to affect him in the future?
Hermione is also great in this story. I like her less tamed and controlled side a lot. She always sort of seemed like she had the possibility to just blow up in the books. I love how you made that tiny trait become a whole new spin for the character, while still keeping her Hermione-nessThere are really strong themes running through this story, which I also love. I’m not sure if it was intentional or not, but the theme of everything being (or not being) a game stands out most to me.
I must say, though that Dumbledore kind of confuses me in this story. He seems to have lost a lot of his Dumbledore-ness. A lot of the newer traits, I don’t see much in the books. Of course, there could just be something important that happened that we just don’t know. Hm?The flow of the chapters isn’t choppy, either, like many fics that deal with several characters are. I like how each little bit just fits perfectly into its spot. Though I must say, the parts with Harry and co are my favorite. Is this story going to continue into the trio’s adulthood?
Overall, this story is amazing. Definitely one of my favorites of all time. It’s a shame I can’t give you higher than a ten. Please keep updating!
Author's Response: Hello Eponine!
Thanks so much for the lovely, well thought out review.
It is an insidious evil all its own pigeonholing children, ranking them, delegating their life. I think you're the first person to really comment on it. :)
Draco is the character that refused to be stereotyped. I had him slated to live up to all his old roles in cannon, but he stepped outside the one-dimensional role I'd outlined for him and asserted himself. When you think about it, a lot of the tension between Harry and Draco was dictated by their house, their parents...there was too much severe history there. In this AU, their tensions are shifted and completely different. In the end they don't take an antagonistic role, and I'm feeling their young friendship.
Hermione, Alpha-Muggle is definitely a fun character to write, and I'm so pleased that you still see Hermione in her.
Dumbledore...is much cooler, much harder in this story. He killed his brother Abeforth to save him from being a Reaper. He has been leading a futile rebellion for decades. So yeah, he's a lot different, less hopeful, less bright. He's a dark!Dumbledore sort of.
Harry and the kids are my favorites too. (I'm a bit Harry obscessed.)
Finally, on themes...there are a couple I'm trying to incorporate, and games is definitely a recurring one. Dumbledore's game, the Emperor's..The Dog Pack's and the Reaper's. *nod* I think you may be ready to write your CotR term paper ;)
Sincerely, many many thanks for the awesome review. :)
Perfectly created sci-fi and fantasy worlds must work upon their own rules and ethics and have to have their own logic. That's what I've learned watching Aeon Flux, the series. And I really think that with your fanfiction you've just created this wonderful/perfectly working on it's own logic world, that's so enthralling that you have to come back for more. Apart from that accomplishment, what I've really liked in your fic (I've got only this far, but I'll read on) was YOUR Lily. She is so strong and yet so vulnerable. Like mothers are. And those charms she kept? They actually made me cry. I sorely miss Ginny, as she is one of my favourites, but you have incorporated Charlie, Albus and Sirius and they are enough for me to go on. As a former history student I especially appreciate those little excerpts at the beginning of every chapter. Great idea! What I'm trying to say: I don't have JKR's email adress, but if I had I would recommend her to read this fic. It's beautiful!
Author's Response: Thank you for your thoughtful and kind review. I'm so glad that you've enjoyed the fic so far, and I hope it doesn't disappoint you.
You aren't the only person to comment on Lily in the opening chapters of this fic, and I'm very pleased that she's been recieved so well.
I'm a bit of a Ginny fan myself, and as much as it pained me to eliminate her from the Weasley clan, I can't have Harry getting involved with her, and I wouldn't be able to resist. I know myself too well.
Thanks again for the lovely review. Peace! :)
Lovely to see this update, with so many interesting details. To start at the end (because I'm feeling slightly illogical and even more disorganised than ever) I rather liked the sound of Captain Nyt (that's pronounced 'night', right?) A very interesting character and I just feel that there must be a lot more to her than meets the eye. Somehow she reminds me of someone... Looking forward to the mission -- maybe Remus will find out a bit more about her. And that was just like Remus to agree to break out all of them.
I really enjoyed the section with Mad-Eye and George. I suspect that their working relationship may eventually improve. It was very touching when he didn't want the locket - I can imagine that he would feel that way. Any pain is worth it if it keeps the connection there.
Goodness! Malfoy with a sense of humour! What an excellent way to annoy his father. I hope we're going to get to see this party.
I liked what you did with Harry, this chapter. chasing the thrill of adventure -- that's the first time he's truly seemed like the Harry we know. And I am guessing that he sees himself as a candidate for a certain apprenticeship?
I hope you will excuse the rambling nature of this review and lack of concrit. I just couldn't help just telling you all the parts I enjoyed the most. Even if I am probably off beam with a lot of my guesses, I am having a ball trying!
Ooh, one last thing - the mention of Casanova made me laugh. I guess that in your world that meant he was a wizard? Or maybe he was anyway.
Well done, I enjoyed it thoroughly. Thanks!
Author's Response: Hey Alison :)
Ah ha! The first person to *cough* comment on Captain Nyt. I shouldn't say anything about her...nah... I won't
George/Fred bond is love. And I am a bad bad author to be torturing them.
Draco's party is next chapter actually. :) :)
Well, Riddle is scary, and he's shown some of his true colors, but children can be... fearless. They think they're indestructible. Harry is ... a kid with goals.
:) ! You're review was quite clear and lovely as always. Casanova isn't in my outline, but he was a wizard... excellent with a love potion.
Thanks for the wonderful review dear.
Bridget! Oi, with so much, I haven't reviewed yet. Makes me very sad. I just want to let you know that this chapter is absolutely wonderful. *sighs happily* It is love. So much love, it won't fit inside the earth's core. *huggles*
Author's Response: Thank you Pat. :) *hug*
I'm new to this site, but I've read quite a few fics so far. I haven't been too impressed by most of the AU fics, but I really think this one is good. I think you've got a great concept here, and I'm glad you're not abandoning it. Looking forward to the next chapter.
Author's Response: Thanks so much. I hope you find some more excellent AU's and continue to enjoy your stay her at MuggleNet. It is a fun site. Thanks for the kind review.
:) :) :)
scritch scritch scritch...
Author's Response: *bows low to honorable ghost hamster*
Well, i was very dissapointed by the wait, but i loved you r new chapter... i hope you put the next one up soon!! i wonder what would happen if james found out peter had sold his kids to the enemy... this is a cool fic, and even thought moving is a pain, (i have to move every 2 or three yrs) PLS try and write a bit everyday so you can update for us poor hooked fans!!!! luv ur story, 10/10,
Author's Response: You make me blush with your kind reviews! :) :) I do feel terrible for leaving you guys hanging, and I do vow to attempt to do better. I'm already working on the next chapter, and hopefully it will be ready for betaing before too long.
Hey, C here once again. I must be completely out of it right now (which wouldn't be much of a suprise considering all that's happened this week), because I didn't see anything particularly special in this chapter. I mean, Lily's list is obviously going to be important, and I'm assuming, and hoping, that dear ol' P.P. will be on it, and be interogated by his dear ol' friends. That would be an interesting scenario. I'm sort of afraid of this appretinceship, considering if Harry or any of his friends DO get it, it will lead to some definate complications in the storyline, especially when the truth about Harry and his sister come out. I worry for James, having to command the animagi troops (we still don't know why they're there, do we?) with Sirius gone, and living without Lily so long must be killing him. I hope George can concentrate on his training now that he isn't being constantly plagued by Fred's torture, and that he can help Fred soon. And as a side note, that magical contract so reminded me of Ella, Enchanted :-). Anyway, keep up the good work and I can't wait to read the next chapter.
Author's Response: Hello C,
I must say, you have uncanny skills for predicting potential future complications. I haven't seen Ella Enchanted, but perhaps I should? :) :) Thanks for the review!
While I was disappointed about the wait. This chapter was worth it. I wish you the best in your personal stuff & I hope that you will be able to give us all a new fabulous chapter soon.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review, dear. And I will try not to disappoint.
Very good chapter. I like that Harry and Hermione went to the home to see Isobel, but she woke up the whole house. Why couldn't Lily have delivered the presents and therefore found her daughter?
Author's Response: Because Lily doesn't get to know *yet*. I like bringing them close to truths and having them bounce away oblivious. It builds anticipation. ;) Thanks for the review!
NNNOOOOOO!!!! NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!! YOU CAN"T DO THAT TO FRED!!!! Iliked the rest of the chapter, though. The Muggle sacrifices and werewolf hunts gave me the shudders.
Author's Response: But...you must torture the characters you love. It's in my fan-fic handbook, page one. Glad you enjoyed the chapter though. :)
Thank god you're back. I was starting to write this off as another brilliant yet abandoned fic. Anyway, good, as usual. Curious about the names that Lily has turned up. Poor James, going so long without his wife. I sort of know how the man feels. I'm interested in this whole apprenticeship thing Riddle has going on. I wonder what he needs that person for, and whether or not it'll wind up being Harry. I wonder if these prisoners Remus is rescusing will wind up having some importance. Things to ponder. Other than that, no real comments.
Author's Response: Hey bkwrm,
I do apologize for taking so long. It's sort of a contract between reader and writer. We write and share, hoping for a response, and in return we shouldn't abandon our readers midstream. I can't control real life, but I'm going to try to be more timely with the next chapter. And don't worry about me abandoning this fic. I didn't write a 12 page outline to stop writing on Roman Numeral XVI. I'm comitted to finishing this fic at this point.
Riddle's apprenticeship is *very* important, as is Lily's list. Remus's prisoners aren't there for no reason, but what he finds while saving them... I doubt you'll expect it.
As always, it's great to hear from you, and I'm so glad you stuck around through the long wait. :) :)
Umm this is such a dark chapter.. I mean it has it "light" parts such as Harry and da little adventure but the whole torture part was a little intense ... But I love it any way!! gr8 job
Author's Response: You found it dark? Really? I kind of thought it was whimsical, but I think I spent a lot of time worrying with the brothel scenes. Glad you're still enjoying, and peace!
Loved it. Interesting idea.
Author's Response: Cool. Thanks! :)
This chapter was definitely much lighter. I loved the playful exchange with Ron and Harry and the “Solidarity” over the robes. However, it still had very touching moments. I still don’t know what to make of Draco, but I felt very sorry for him: “…he understood now that even a number two son bearing a Veto had value…” that is really sad. And Albus concluding that Harry “could practically be James’ son.” Agghhh! You are tormenting us aren’t you. Luckily, I like to be tormented a little, it makes things fun. I enjoyed Lily’s letter to torment James as well. But my favorite part of this chapter was “…the faceless warmth that held him in his dreams…” I get misty eyed over that. I just want them to go back in time and stop the kidnapping and let Lily have her children to raise! You have a beautiful way with words, simply poignant.
Author's Response: Moony, dear, only a mommy would love that line :) *check* Torment readers is on my list. As for Draco... he can be pitiful, and a little snob, and a little evil too, but I think he's going to be a good friend too the more I write him. *confusion* I never woulda thought it when I started.
I loved this chapter and not just because I get a glimpse of Remus. Of course, that never hurts. ;) Your description is so vivid I can see the scenes unfolding. The way Lily is at work on her charms…such fantastic detail. The description of the cursed corpses is terrific. It, like so much of your imagery makes me want to take out my sketch pad and illustrate your fic. I just wish I was good enough to do it justice. I love the way you skip between scenes. Somehow that adds to the eerie mood of the chapter. It is really very creepy and I mean that in the most flattering way. I find myself tempted to peek at the screen through my fingers. I love the glimpses into the nature of the reapers with the conversation between the two at the end. And finally, I love James and Lily’s relationship, the way he tries to protect her and she knows it, so lovely. Wonderful!
Author's Response: Yes, the macabre chapter is very image intensive, and it's very flattering that you want to try to sketch them :D Thanks for the review, dear.
UPDATE ALREADY!!! it's been ages since you've added to the story, and it's killing me!!!!!!! :) anyways, you've got quite a few fans out there, so please update for us...
Author's Response: I know it has been ages. Apologies! :( I appreciate you and your reviews, and I will try to get the next chapter out in a more timely manner.
Excellent chapter! You have so much story in every chapter. I love seeing how you weave everything together. I have a speculation about Melinda: eventually she will cover school sports & Melinda seeing Harry play will be quite interesting.
Author's Response: *grin* Melinda and sports writing. How long can she avoid the sport of Quidditch? Thanks for the kind review!