**Submitted for Lily_Evans34**
That was amazing. Really and truly amazing. Your metaphors and description were so captivating and breath taking. Coming from someone who usually skims through stories with very little dialouge, it means a lot when I say that you had me hooked on ever word. You have such a wonderful gift for expression. I could almost feel like I was Vervain, with as much thought as you put into describing her emotions.
I loved the metaphor between the ravens and love. You know that the ravens wanted to leave, but they were bound to the life they were born into. It's just like Vervain, and her marraige. It's so sorrowful and painful to think about how she felt, and the reader almost feels bad that they're sitting there, watching her go through the 'living death'. I really thought it was amazing the way that you captured her character so beautifully.
I also loved your descriptions. It was a bit overwhelming at first, compared to what I'm used to, but I then found that it fit the mood of your story wonderfully. I really never have read a fic that captures sorrow the way your's does. That was one of the best stories that I have ever read. Incredible (followed by 45 synonyms) job!
Courtesy of the Naughty Penguin Society
Sorrowfully well written. My heart goes out to Vervain. So many women are trapped in similar circumstances. You skillfully captured the whole situation.
This was excellent! Your use of metaphor is amazing: the make-up being a mask for her fear, the love getting caught in her throat, etc. But, did you have to clip the ravens' wings? Actually, that was a very vivid moment.
I also thought you did a really good job with the thoughts she has about Kentigern. It seems very realistic.
Heartbraking story. This was exactly what I was looking for. Having experienced a similar situation (ie. my parents) this story really made my heart sink to the bottom of my stomach. I'm always torn between understanding and being confused as to why these women stay with their husbands.
I loved how the raven, being the inspiration to the title, was only briefly mentioned. It made the whole point seem more powerful.
Wow, this is the very first fiction of yours that I'm reading, and I have to say now I can see what all the fuss was about. It was heartbreakingly beautiful! You did a wonderful job with the descriptions, but the feeling of the story is what captured me. You almost had me in tears by the end of it. Everything was just so natural and flowed together so well. I especially loved this part "I love, mum". Short and sweet and it makes one understand how Snape turned out the way he did. Fantastic! Rating-10+
10 million out of 10 to a great writer and a wonderful mod! You are wonderful at writing- I don't particurally like Snape-childhood stories, especially ones written pre-HBP but your skills made up for it. I feel bad for Verian. I think, though, that you should change her name to Eileen or mention that Verian was her middle name which she liked to be called by and her first name was Eileen, and change Snape's dads name to Tobias or at least something more pronouncable, to fit in with HBP cannon. Its still an excellent story.
Wow amazing story u make all of your sroeies so real and detailed and well i don't know the right words but you tell stories brilliantly! You get a HUGE 10 from me!
Wow. Very good writing style. You are a wizard with words. I'd like to see more to this story, maybe from Severus' POV, but it seems from the finality that it was a one-shot. Again, very good exploration into Severus' childhood.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review! Yes, it would be interesting to see these situations from the Severus viewpoint and it's something i will be considering writing.
How very dramatic, yet subtle! I have friends who have gotten out of abusive relationships who describe their thoughts and feelings before leaving, and even after, just as you described Mrs. Blacks'. At least she loved Severus (look, I've done it again!) though she, understandibly, could not always show it to him. Wonderful and haunting...10. (By the way, I think this idea could really be developed if you wanted to. I've never heard of anyone doing it before. There's just enough fact in place to provide a theme and structure, with lots of room for exploration as you have done.) Great job!
Author's Response: I probably will write more one-shots based on Vervain and her life with her husband. I also need to develop Kentigern more. It would be easy to write him off as just another boorish bully but I want to give him a bit more than that. And you have to stop calling him Severus! What will you do when HPB comes out and you've gone all soft on him....he'll do something horrid to Harry again, I just know it. :-)
This is great. One of the few Snape childhood stories that manages to be realistic and yet understated. Please keep it up!
Author's Response: Thanks for the review, Hermione! Glad you thought I kept it real.