Oh, that's just too sad.
I just wanna hug Remus.
That was so incredibly sad and beautiful. I love Marauder fiction and this truly captured the strength, friendship and finally sadness that marked their friendship. Thanks
It made me cry. It was wonderful and horrible all at once.
*snifflesnuffle* SIRIUS!!!!!! Sorry, I got kind of emotional... which shows how awesome this poemfic is! No fluff whatsoever! Yay! ~Katie
PS: If you have time, please check out my poetry
Awwww! This is soo sad, and good, and I loved it! It's a wonderful poem good job!
Wow! I really liked it...So sad but true...Do write some more poems i really enjoyed this one...even if it wasn't suposed to be enjoyable...Oh well...Good job though!
I thought this poem was very good. I have actually written somewhat similar ones before (but not put them up) and this was much better than anything I could do! Lupin is my favourite character, and I think you did a very good job portraying his lonliness, etc. I especially loved the last three stanzas, and the repetition of the four names. Now, as for the poetry, there were some things I felt didn't flow as well as they could have. I have a weird thing that I don't normally like rhyming, unless there are really no mistakes and it doesn't detract from the meaning. However, most of the time I was fine with this. The couple places that I didn't like as much I think Vader mentioned. The eighth stanza doesn't flow very well, I think it just doesn't work in my head, whereas it might work in yours, which is what makes poetry so difficult. Becuase I tend to slur "alone" into more or less one syllable, the rhythm is kind of thrown off, and also it doesn't rhyme with "gone" so thats a bit awkward. There might be a few other places that weren't perfect, but overall I thought you did a very good job, especially with the story you were telling. 9/10.
Wow I have tears in my eyes. That was so great and true. But sad at the same time. I loved it.
I love this poem!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So are you seven87eight of somthing like that. I have seen your poem on mugglenet.com (the normal site) I realy like this poem it has been my favorite since I saw it there I never knew you had it on here! Well any way I loved it 10/10
I mean, the 8th and t10th stanzas.
Really, very good! But in "Noble Gryffindor's," no apostrophe is needed, and in "For two dead one who tarnishes The good Marauder name," you need to stick a comma in there between dead and one. One of my favorite parts: "Another two were strong and true, Brash, perhaps, but good" And 8 and 10 don't flow as well, I think.
cool, i really like your poem, its very sweet.
Wow. I really like this poem. It's extremely well written. There are a couple of spelling errors so if you could just re-read those...but I really love this poem!
Author's Response: I re-read it and found some. Thanks for telling me. Glad u liked it.
Iím not the biggest marauders fan in the world, but I liked your poem. You had a couple of really strong stanzas that I was very impressed with. I think my favorite stanza is the following:
The best of friends, the worst of foes, It now is all the same, Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, Prongs We have ourselves to blame.
I think at times the rhythm and rhyme of your poem got a little loose in a couple places. For example, alone and gone donít rhyme even though they are spelled alike. Itís the sort of thing that can throw things off for the reader. Additionally, several of your stanzas vary in their patterns and number of syllables. This too can affect the flow. Itís very hard to pick one rhyme scheme and one pattern of syllables and stick to it through a whole poem. I canít even do myself all the time. However, if you stick as close to it as you can, it really helps your poem sound more poetic? That make any sense?
My last constructive comment is that I noticed a couple of spelling type mistakes. For example, in the first stanza, you have Padoot and it should be Padfoot. Do you have some one read your poems before you submit them? Personally, I always do because I have a tendency to read right over my mistakes because I know in my mind whatís supposed to be there. Using a beta reader can help you cut out some of the little mistakes so they donít detract from your work.
Treat all of the above as just some things I noticed that might help you improve this poem. Though I noticed a few things you can work on, I still thought this was very nice. I hope to see more of your work in the future. Good job!
Author's Response: I went back and fixed the error on the first line. Thanks for telling me that.
I love it!!!!!! It made me cry, you should be asjamed... lol. Please do more poems, these are really good.
Author's Response: That is why there is a warnning on it. Your so kind. I'll keep writing poems. I got alot already written. Just really never thought to try them...... LOL. Thank You!!!!!!!!!