sorry but this and the one before wern't as good as the first one
Author's Response: That's okay! Poetry does different things for different people and not everyone reacts the same way to the same poem. I still really appreciate the fact that you read the poems and took the time to let me know what you thought. Thanks very much!
i really like this poem. how did you get it to ryme when itry that i end up looking for ryming words on the internet. this is so facinating 100/10
Author's Response: Well, sometimes ryhme schemes just sort of worked out. But, there are a couple of stanzas in there that required lots of work, excessive use of a thesarus, and a few suggestions from a great beta reader! Thanks for the review.
I thought the first 2 stanzas were the best.
Author's Response: Thanks! I liked those ones too!
Very different from the first two in that it didn't rhyme, but excellent.
Author's Response: Thanks very much!
my favorite are the last four stanzas!
Author's Response: Thank you!
Author's Response: Thank you!
wow thats really good, 10/10
Author's Response: Thanks so much!
wow that was so so so so so so so so so so so did i say SO good all emotions described perfectly 10/10 i loved it
Author's Response: Thank you very much. Glad you liked it.
wow i really loved the first one and the ending of the second one they're all really great. :-D
Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed them. Thanks for the review.
Vader, I can't remember the last time I enjoyed this sort of poetry. You've truly captured my interest, which I don't mind saying is quite remarkable seeing as how I'm a tough critic when it comes to poetry. First and foremost, your flow was flawless. There wasn't a single moment where I thought, "Hmm, bad choice of words," or "That stanza didn't fit," making it an easy, enjoyable read. Furthermore, I can't stop marveling over the story behind the rhymes. It was very well-executed, almost like a small yet insightful look into a full length fiction that took only minutes. That sort of craftsmanship is hard to come by. The chronological order was something I'm not quite used to myself, because I've never read nor written in such a style. However, I found it fitting for this poem, as it gave organization and, once again, a smooth flow. I just may try that myself some time. Perhaps I wear blinders, but I did not predict that ending. When I first began reading, I had thought the poem would be about the opening dilemma, when in fact it concluded on an entirely different one. Neville, I feel, was the perfect character to use for your cause. While my heart is set on another ship, I couldn't help but feel for him and what possibilites might exist. There was certainly no lack of emotion, either. For all the blubber about poise, character choice, word choice, etc, none of that really holds water when compared to the impact of feeling, and I could truly feel Hermione's dilemma. (Pun intended.) The heartache, twisted emotions, confusion, and then Neville towards the end really helped make this poem well-rounded. I have to say, this was one of my favorite parts: I could no longer holdout for those I desired So I asked Neville to go to the Ball I was upfront with my intentions true With a smile he said, “No problem at all.” Many are things Neville may not be But there are none who are more sincere He’s the perfectly nervous gentleman Whose demeanor can’t help but endear I especially loved the line I bolded. In all, very, very well done. I really enjoyed reading this, and look forward to more!
Author's Response: Thanks for the fantastic review, PhysicalGraffiti. Looks like you took a solid few minutes to write that long review out and I sincerely appreciate you taking so much time to let me know what thought. I'm really glad you liked this too. I'm pretty sure I know which ship you support; the same one I do. Neville, however, quietly became one of my favorites characters in OoTP and he seemed like the perfect choice for the little surprise. I can't bare to tell you the origins of "perfectly nervous"...but, it did work very well in the poem and it certainly seems to fit well with Neville. Wow! Really great review! Thanks so much!
The poem was very sweet, s quick look into the confusion that is Hermonie's heart. I enjoyed the fact that you haven't made any of the three boys she's interested better then the other. Also the fact that you made her reason for liking them all credible, as well as her reasons for disliking them. Over all I enjoyed the rhyme especially the end of the poem. The final twist where she finds that Neville may be pulling at her heart strings. It brought a smile to my face.
Author's Response: I'm really glad you liked the ending. I'm glad you found the way Hermione was thinking things through believable too. I wanted to give the sense that the she was thinking so hard about those three that she never saw it coming with Neville. Sometimes, in real life, that's just the way it happens (I think...anyway).
YAY, more Vader poetry! *dances*
Well, I just want to say that that was marvilous. Beautifully written, with a definite sense of Hermione around it. Her emotions were very real, and if I didn't know any better, I would say you were channelling her spirit ~.o
I really like the ending, because Neville does deserve more credit than he gets. Also, I can see Hermione noticing Neville for the wonderful person he really is.
Great job: ten stars!
Author's Response: Neville really became one of my favorites in OoTP and Hermione always has been a favorite character of mine. Since Neville/Hermione is not a ship mentioned very much, I decided to throw it out there and see what happens. Thanks for the review!
Oh poor Hermione! She justs keeps embedding herself deeper into her problem. I really enjoyed this piece a lot. My favorite line was: One of them an international star The first to champion my heart. Because the use of the word "champion" made me chuckle.
Though I noticed that you titled the poem Hermione's Delimma in the passage. It's actually spelled Dilemma, I think. Overall, this was a fantastic poem though. I think you did a fantastic job!
Author's Response: Thanks for pointing out the mistake. I corrected it right away. Yeah, the use of the word champion was completely intention there. I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for the review.
I'm reviewing both poems here. I'm religouly R/Hr, but I thought both of these poems were beatifully written. I liked how you put so much information into so little words in "Always There". The emotion in it was really moving and the rythme really fit it, and emphasized that in my opinion. As for "Hermione's Delimma", I thought it was increabibly sweet. You did an excellent job of showing Hermione's state of mind-both while agonizing over what boy she really wanted, and while 'discovering' Neville, as it were. I'll read to read your other work, though I should warn you, from this I have high expectations. But, i'm sure you'll more than meet them! Excellent job, Vadar!
Author's Response: Thanks very much! I always enjoy hearing that a non-H/Hr shipper liked Always There. For some reason, it doesn't seem to be something everyone can do. People seemed to be so hardened in their views about ships. It's not often that you find someone who can take off the blinders of whatever ship they support and look at something else objectively. I hope my other work can live up to your expectations. Thanks very much for the review.
I love your poem! It's great how it seems to tell a story at the same time. I have only one problem with it: Hermione & Neville!?!? Oh well, it's your poem and I'm still going to read it even if I don't like the pairings. Write more!
Author's Response: You reaction to this poem is EXACTLY the one I intended. I'm an H/Hr shipper myself, but I specifically wanted to throw everyone a little bit of a curve ball. I'm glad you liked it.
Hey, I'm an H/Hr fan and I think your poem is wonderfully written! Keep writing! :) :)!!!!
Author's Response: Thank you very much!
I am definitely not a H/Hr fan, but that doesn't mean I can't read this and love it! I'll read any ship; I read slash and don't care if it's a little strange. I only care if the writing is good. I'm saying that I don't care what the ship is! What matters to me is the writing and the feeling behind it. This has a lot of feeling behind it!
Author's Response: Thank you very much, LC. I definitely get the sense that us fans of H/Hr are not the majority. But, I'm glad that people, like yourself, can set aside their dislike of a certain ship and try to evaluate the work based on its other merits. Thanks for reading and reviewing, I really appreciate it.
Wow! I finally got around to checking out your other works besides "The Only One", and I'm so glad I did! This poem was really a turning point for me. Because... well, typically, I dislike poetry that rhymes every/every other sentence, but I'm not kidding when I say this was the exception to that rule. I LOVED it. Brilliant job! It flowed so well, and I loved the story behind it. Such raw emotion. There was a sense of fear, longing, and, of course, love. Very well-crafted. The sentiment behind it choked me up a bit too. *Reaches for tissues and hopes no one notices* I really hope you'll write more poetry.
Author's Response: Thank you, PhysicalGraffiti. I always look forward to seeing reviews from you, being a mod and all. To think that you would still have the time and the desire to read something of mine after bludgeoning yourself with the countless other HP Fan Fics you must read in a day…it means a lot. But, even more than that, you always leave me very detailed reviews telling me what you liked. I’m so happy you enjoyed this one. It was a little bit of a test for me to see if I could tell an H/Hr story almost in the anti-tradition of “The Only One”…meaning I use as few words as possible instead of as many…ha ha. Thanks again for taking time out to read my work! I appreciate it very much!
Speechless. Absolutely speechless. So amazing.(sniff) I love it.
Author's Response: Thank you very much!
Yeah, I'm not a fan of H/Hr, but i did really like this poem. it wasn't too long and rambling, but it wasn't too short and it rhymed well, it had a great rhythm and it was obvious what it was about which is more than i can say for some poetry.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review, Diamond Quill. I know not everyone is a big fan of H/Hr, but appreciate the fact that you were able to set that aside and look at this work for some of its other qualities. Thanks so much!
Well, you already know that I think this is a really well exectuted piece. I thought you set yourself a real challenge with the tight form and the limited syllables but you pulled it off really well. The fact you had to condense the story into so few words made it all the more stark and powerful when read. There are some great lines in there and some great word choices and the edits look very good. Bravo you for taking on poetry and making a success of it!
Author's Response: I’m glad you liked the changes I went with, Magical Maeve. Whenever I give you something to read, I always look forward to seeing what you have to say. I’ve been very privileged to work with some great beta readers on my various stories (yourself, Riyo, Lex, just to name a few). I’ve learned so much from all of you, it’s just been great! In the case of this little poem, I really liked the suggestions you made about word choices and just changing things around a little bit in places so that it sounded better. It’s easy (at least I think) to get a little carried away, when writing a poem, with trying to make words fit in ways that maybe they shouldn’t only because they fit your rhyme scheme or meter. I loved the fact that you were able to call out the instances of that here and help turn this little ditty into a pretty decent finished piece. Thanks for the review and for another great job beta reading, MM!