That is good. To me, it sounds like how Hermione feels when Lavender enters Ron's life. Really interesting!
She is talking to Ron, rite? That's what it sounds like.
This was so beautiful. I think it's Ron that Hermione is talking to. Poor Hermione! Keep up your lovely work!
I think it is Ron she's talking to/about, because I am a huge R/Hr shipper.
Very good poem.
~Tyger, tyger, burning bright - Euphrates
First if all, I love how you leave the actually person being spoken of a mystery. As I read this, I sort of scanned it while looking for clues, though Iím still not sure (though if you asked me Iíd wager a guess at Ron). It really makes it more interesting for the readers. The metaphors used in this were wonderful.
I changed the locks.
[What you don't know is that your Key will still open the door]
This was my favorite line of the entire poem. I actually took time out of reading it to think about what had been meant by that. Another one I like was:
But time does not bend For unfortunate lovers
Alright, I know this is rather picky, but Iím going to bug you about one little bitty comma error, simply because comma errors in dialogue agitate me. "We can't" I said. "This isn't right." A comma is needed after the word canít. I know: Iím picky. I just had to mention it though.
Iím not really sure what kind of poem this is (or even if it has a name) but I really liked the way it flowed. Everything sort of blends together; itís not just a jumble of Hermioneís random thoughts towards someone. I enjoyed this greatly; good job!
i like how you didnt tell the reader who the person was, thats up to the reader to decide.
You did a great job on this one, DanceUponMyToes. I really liked the flow it had. I like how you didnít say who was on Hermioneís mind here. That leaves it up for the reader to decide for themselves which can always add a little intrigue. I was hoping for a little more of a hint than I saw in there, but oh well. I liked it just the same. The ending was so, I donít know, tragic I guess. Hermione just left aching and allowing herself to think thatís the way it should be. Great job! Looking forward to reading more of your work!