is there more? there should be!!!!!
is there more? there should be!!!!!
Interesting aspect of their relationship and life after Hogwarts. Interesting....but good. I liked it.
It's a fun idea. Your grammar is a bit offin places, especially the commas. There are some places where sentences should be strung together:
The Healers and crew moved to the next bed. She walked toward him. Her friends followed. He heard her dress ruffling. He closed his eyes tightly for a minute. Opened them and bent down to check the patient.
It would be a lot smoother if you did something like this: "The Healers and crew moved to the next bed, Hermione and her friends following. He could hear her dress rustling. He closed his eyes tightly for a minute, opened them and bent down to check the patient."
There are also some sentences that are really long and slightly confusing:
He had his back to her ,Ronald Weasley, his red hair having been cut short since before he became one of the most famous healers of their time, Neville , who was also a healer was standing next to him, bending over the patient, there were two nurses next to them.
It would clear up a lot if you separated the various ideas that are part of this sentence. For instance: "Ronald Weasley had his back to her, his long hair cut shorter than it had been before he became one of the most famous Healers of their time. Neville, also a Healer, was standing next to him, bending over the patient. There were two nurses next to them." See where I moved the commas? You don't need to put a space between a word and the following punctuation. Check out the Mugglenet FF Help stuff, especially the dialogue section. It's got some great stuff on commas and quote marks and the like.
Your depiction of emotion is pretty good, and your explanation of what happened to get Hermione to this point. I rather like the way it ends, so that you see a lot of back history just in the way Ron reacts.
In short: I like the story; the grammar could use a bit of work; but you've got something worth working at. Don't stop writing!
great story! im too lazy to scroll up, bit is it one-shot or a series?
that was too short!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow, that was different. Ron's a healer, and Neville too. That's a good thing though, Ron's my favorite character:). And they didn't kiss or anything, which is different but it worked for this fic. Your wrting was great, very clear and straightforward. I can't believe you only have 13 reviews...
awww... that was so lovely!!!!
i really liked this, but i thought ron was a bit out of character apart from that great!
Very interesting. You have definate potential as a writer, but I have seen better. I don't wish to offend you however... I rarely give anyone a good rating. Out of a ten, I'll say seven.
short and to the point. i loved it.
umm...wheres the rest? not sayin its bad (it really good actually) but it was slighty rushed, you havnt even told me what what day it is.. gd though....needs more...
Awww... that was a very sweet story..
I loved how it ended very happily!!
Ahhhhh! That was just what I have been looking for! A short little cute fic! Thanks!!! 100/10
that was so so so goooooooood. very good job , keep it up.
great job! that was realy well written and it had a tiny bit of hunor, but not too much so AWESOME job on that. cute story, but i agree with the others, MORE FLUFF! Otherwise I loved it!
Such a lovely little story. I don't care what anyone has to say this story explains how it has to be... Ron and Hermione in each others arms. Good for you! Keep it up!
I liked it so much! Very sweet. But I agree with flame_girl, more fluff would have made it even better. Great job!!
