*in tears* Very touching. I enjoyed the tale very much.
Neville's poor grandmother....THis one makes me want to cry....
thats was really sad, but soooo good at the same time.
I can now finally appreciate the seriousness of this whole ordeal. I must say, you did a very good job with this story. It was well thought-out and carefully planned. I simply love it, and for that, it's going on my list of favorites! Nice work!
Aww, sniff! Augusta is very nicely drawn in this story. It really seems to be a scrap of backstory that could have been written for the series. Nicely done Magical Maeve.
Pretty good, although weren't the Longbottom's tortured soon after the Potter's died in October?
I'm not sure if people who were coming to tell you that your son and his wife were as good as dead would want to sit around for tea, either.
I like that you chose to explore this character, though. There has got to be more to her than JKR has let on.
Wow, this story is, wow.
I dont usually read anything but romance stories, mainly Hermione/Draco, but I was skimming through the list of recently made fan fics and I came across this one. The blue ribbon got my attention. =)
I wasnt expecting the story to be this good, which is why I'm partly shocked, but, I love it. Like I said before, its absolutely amazing.
Great job, and I mean it! =)
:) Aw... This is exactly how I'd imagine Mrs. Longbottom to be in the inside...inside the tough, proud exterior...how she'd feel and everything, you captured it all, put the most fitting title ever on it and managed to make it a GREAT story. I LOVED it, just seeing inside the life of another minor HP Character...you did it wonderfully
It's been a long time since I've had the pleasure of reviewing for you. :) In gearing up for the release of Deathly Hallows, I'm suddenly seized by the need to read fan-fic again. Therefore, I went back to one of my favourite authors, and MY you've been prolific! ;-}
Anyway, down to business. I love monologues. They lend themselves to so much in terms of characterization, and an author can reveal surprising depth within a person who might otherwise appear superficial or shallow. What I love about *this* monologue is the clarity of voice, and how that voice leads us to the underlying emotion while chattering away with smalltalk.
You've painted a great portrait of the kind of woman raised to believe that any talk or show of real emotion or substance should be reserved for private family conversations held behind closed doors. For Neville's Gran, the tea service and the Axminster carpet, the digressions about baking and Floo powder, and her grandson's relationships with plants, all these serve as means to escape and avoid the openly embarrassing business of airing one's emotions and private difficulties in public. She's been taught that one must keep up appearances, no matter how absurd or horrible it may make one appear.
Ultimately, it's the little things that make this piece shine. The incident with the Punch and Judy man had me giggling for several minutes after I read it. The same holds true with her disdain of the Muggle Women's Institute and their talk of nothing but cooking and knitting, though that's all she's done up until her mention of those particular Muggle faults. You've given the impression that Mrs. Longbottom is a real person with quirks and faults, and a genuine capacity to feel anguish as well as love. I applaud your craft and your skill, and I look forward to reading more of your wonderful words.
So, I decided to check this out after the uber game Kumy made out of this – I know how hard it was for me to create something from prose. But… it looks to me like Kumy really didn’t have any trouble at all, because you provided her with every little bit of information she could possibly have needed. I love the chronological order of it – most people would stumble over their thoughts and get sidetrack to irrelevance, but even Augusta seems to… stay o track even when she’s off track. :).
It wouldn’t do to answer the door with floury hands — you never know who it might be.
I think this is a great example of the shock that people go into – they just... can’t handle things and switch off. Becoming neutral is easier than feeling any pain at all, much easier. She reminds me a lot of Bree from Desperate Housewives. Sorry to cross fandoms, dear, but she strikes me as the same sort of person – very proper, yet very sly underneath. She knows what she’s doing, and I think… the more she does these things, the more so convinces herself that they are, in fact the proper things to do. I love the characterization you’ve given Augusta. It’s… very fitting of the handbag and stuffed hat. I think it represents her old-lady stiffness :).
I put down my cup and saucer carefully to avoid spilling anything on the new Axminster carpet and faced them with as much dignity as I could muster in the circumstances. Again, she’s… a fool. I think she is. I think she needs to open up to people. You’ve created such a frustratingly calm person in this! It makes me… twitchy, lol. But in a totally good way. I love when stories have such an effect on me! The overall tone of this… it’s so serene, like ‘Oh yes, on Monday I went down to the bank and got held up. Thank goodness, I wasn’t ordered to give up my silken gloves – that would have been disastrous. So, in all a splendid day.’ I think you’ve hit her characterization right on target – and I feel so much more for Neville than I did before, lol!
I always felt that Frank was still around with his wand in the hands of his son. This… wow. I think one of the most powerful lines in this. Maybe I’m weird. But I love how this is basically where she starts to crack, and show some emotion… it’s like she’s accepted he’s dead before he’s actually gone. It’s so powerful for me, this meaning, because… it happens. And it’s happening right now, all over the place. People just… give up. On life. On love. On dreams. You know, if Augusta was an upbeat person, then she would have been all chipper and have been like “Oh well, he’ll get better, it’s just a matter of time” but… she’s not. She’s SUCH a disembodied personality in the books, and I feel like that you’ve captured her moods and mannerisms perfectly in this tale, Jan. Perfectly. Usually I wouldn’t class a story as perfect… but I just… I’m in awe with your characterization. A great story. I'd recommend it to a lot of people ;-).
Ah, the love of a Mother and a Grandmother. think you've captured it VERY well! Great story!
Author's Response: Thank you. :-)
This is gorgeous.Totally beautiful.
Author's Response: Thank you. Glad you enjoyed it.
This was very touching. It brought a tear to my eye. Neville's Grandmother, battle-axe, gets to be a human for us in this. You take every little clue JKR left about this character and painted her in full color and emotion.
I think the most effective part, the part that rang most true to me, would have to be when the Ministry officials were delivering the news. We knew the news, but following her mind to that realization was perfectly understated and so sad.
Constructive comment: We live in different comma states of mind, as you well know from betaing. I wanted to add maybe ten commas, but they were quibbly.
Courtesy of The Naughty Penguin Society
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the lovely review!! Hee hee - naughty commas. You could have added them, but I would simply have swept them onto the great comma pile of doom. *giggles*
Wow. I almost cried at the end.
I really liked the originality put into this story, Jan.
For example: filipendula sponge cake, snapdragon scones, sugarsnap thins, golden goose eggs, and herb farms to name a few are creative names. I'm not even going to pretend to know anything about cooking but the cookies/cake sound believeable to me.
Your descriptions were great, I almost felt like I was there having tea, and watching Neville at his cot. It was so well put together. And it was great to address the feelings of Neville's grandma regarding Neville and his parents.
I think that you have her persona down. Like I said, I almost felt like an old grandmotherly type woman was telling me the story, and I was sitting there like a dork, wide eyed and staring.
I have to say it:
You have talent!
Courtesy of the Naughty Penguin Society
Author's Response: *blushes* Thank you. This was one of those stories that wrote itself. Augusta popped into my head and wouldn't leave until I wrote the story.
How sad... I really like how you portrayed Mrs. Longbottom's feelings in such a realistic but quite touching way.
Author's Response: Thank you. I'm glad the story worked for you. :-)
Truely the sorrow and suffering of a mother and grandmother. Well done!
Author's Response: Thank you! :-)
I totally missed the connection to the herb farm until it was pointed out in reviews! Yech, silly me! I really feel for her when she looks in the bed and Frank is like a little boy again. It is so sad that she can't appreciate Neville for what he is. You've made her very real...
Author's Response: Thank you. She was one of those shadowy characters in the books who I always felt deserved more page time. Glad you liked it.
Lovely. You've done so many interesting things with this fic, I hardly know where to start! First, the voice you used was spot on. Just how an older lady would talk, with every little thing setting off some memory of a better time. All the little details about her home and her activities were great too. I'm still wondering what the WVS is! All we really know about Mrs. Longbottom is that she comes off as cold sometimes, but that Neville does love her. You've shown us that exactly, and explained it as well. Everything about her relationship with Neville, and how she was sort of using him to get her son back was very well done. A very poignant, thought-provoking fic. Great work!
Wow that was amazing. You really had me feeling so sad there.
I loved how you wrote Neville's Grandmother. I can see she really loved her son, and how she really wishes Neville was more like him at times. She also seemed a bit scatterbrained in the story, which really shows great character development.
Great description. Just enough. Not so much that it bores me, but not so little that I can't get a good picture inside my head.
This story is very touching. I absolutly loved it. 10
How terribly sad. My highest compliments on capturing the relationship of grandmother-to-son. I have found myself wondering why she tries to force Neville into becoming his father; this explains it very nicely. It's also a cute view of Neville from another side.
You've already gotten about a dozen compliments on her voice, so I'll stick to saying that I agree with them and that I understand her much better now. Very well done. 10/10