Reviews For A Dark Day
Reviewer: amzing
Date: 04/10/08 15:10
Chapter: A Dark Day

there's only one word...wow. ...wow in a good way not bad... i kinda wished you hadn't put Oblivisci on the front of the summary cuz with that i kinda knew what was going to happen but all in all it was pretty good..im assuming sirus dosent know about the voldemort part yet..good story

Reviewer: moony 4eva
Date: 10/26/07 9:14
Chapter: A Dark Day

i think its great the way you told the story of the betrayal from Peters POV. it was really interesting the way you made it that peter had been forced to reveal the info to old voldy-pants! ;P

Author's Response: Yea, I figured him the type where he says he will do it but when the time comes he chickens out. He can do the talk, but he can't walk the walk... or something like that.

Reviewer: moony 4eva
Date: 10/26/07 9:09
Chapter: A Dark Day

i think its great the way you told the story of the betrayal from Peters POV. it was really interesting the way you made it that peter had been forced to reveal the info to old voldy-pants! ;P

Reviewer: moony 4eva
Date: 10/26/07 9:05
Chapter: A Dark Day

oblivisci?

Author's Response: Obliviate... :)

Reviewer: MJ_Padfoot
Date: 04/28/07 19:19
Chapter: A Dark Day

That was amazing! I've never have thought that Peter would go and tell his mother about what had taken place. You're a great writer! I love the description and how you are portray the characters! ~MJ

Author's Response: Hmmm. Me neither, that is until I wrote it. Lol. Thank you.

Reviewer: AliKt716
Date: 02/24/07 17:14
Chapter: A Dark Day

That was certainly different, but in a good way. But whyy didn't you just use "Obliviate" instead of forgetfullness?

Author's Response: Because I didn't do my homework. Thats why. I just wrote this story on a whim. I had no books on me and didn't think of searching elsewhere.

Reviewer: AliKt716
Date: 02/24/07 17:13
Chapter: A Dark Day

That was certainly different, but in a good way. But whyy didn't you just use "Obliviate" instead of forgetfullness?

Reviewer: Lizzygirl
Date: 05/11/05 0:11
Chapter: A Dark Day

Personally, I really liked it and it was so cool how you made it Peter's POV. This really helps the readers understand Peter a little better. You did a wonderful job with Voldemort, usually, I feel that some authors of fan fics don't make him evil enough or don't portray him that well, but you did an excellent job! Also, Lucius was portrayed very well, you have such evilness in these characters and that shows exactly the kind of people they are. I'm givin you a *10*, your story was very well thought of and the characters are so well portrayed!

Author's Response: Thank you! I especially enjoyed making the flashback part with Lord V. It's fun making evil characters, you know? :) Thanks again for the review (and the ten!)!

Reviewer: rockinfaerie
Date: 05/06/05 12:21
Chapter: A Dark Day

Great! I liked the way you injected his memories into his speech. And I thought the ending was really good, but sort of sad, aswell.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reviewing. Not many people read and review this (in fact, not very many people have even read this). :)

Reviewer: siriusgirl
Date: 05/04/05 20:26
Chapter: A Dark Day

Really good story. Especially since its from Peters POV. EvilPersonified, I think its funny how you just tore her story apart. lol just kidding. Good job. I have one question, though. How did you manage to get your story to update? I try and try, but to no avail.

Author's Response: Thank you!

The way I get my one shot to update is by adding a new chappie. Then, after it is added, I quickly delete the dud. Simple as that! If you are still confused, just say so. :)

Reviewer: Evilpersonified
Date: 05/01/05 13:13
Chapter: A Dark Day


Oh, a story about Peter! I am intrigued! Just to warn you, this will be a very long review, because I am now officially a member of S.P.E.W and love to leave long reviews.

First, a little nit-picking: ”A stout short of a man walked into a dark room” needs a comma between ”stout” and ”short”. ”She was an overweight woman who looked as if she had a kind personality but with the strange hollowness surrounding her, she was actually eerie looking” rambles on for a while, and you might want to change it to something more like ”She was an overweight women, an aura of lost kindness about her. She looked hollow, as if someone had drained her” unless that is completely the wrong description. In ”it was just overbearing him”, change ”overbearing him” to ”overwhelming him”. red slits of an eye needs to be changed to his eyes were red slits or something along those lines. Also, just some random comment, but I think it would be unlikely for someone in England to call their mum “ma”. That’s very American, and you probably want to change it to “mum” or “mother”.

I didn’t point out all errors to you, just ones that jumped out. There were a fair few minor errors (comma’s and such) which a beta could help you with. If you want, I could beta for you.

Saying that, I really like this story. It shows things from Peter’s point of view, which is unusual. Normally he is ignored. I especially liked it when you write that he finally feels free from the shadow of Sirius and James. It’s very realistic.


Author's Response: *smiles* Thank you for the great review. I have never had such a long one before. Thank you so much for taking so much time into that! :)

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