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Reviews For Canis Majoris

Name: JFig (Signed) · Date: 02/17/06 10:48 · For: The Summary
Oh....my////gosh!!!! I seriously don't know where you come up with this, but it is such a brilliant story line....and turn of events....and everything is just so fantastic! I am in absolute awe over your talent....absolute awe. Just...wow. I take off my hat to you. 10/10 (duh, after all of that?) ---JFig

Name: electronicquillster (Signed) · Date: 02/15/06 3:45 · For: The Legend
I hate that sinking feeling that, even after all that's happened, all that they've been through, that Sirius and Jocelyn aren't going to be together. It kills me. Sorry I haven't reviewed in a while, but I always keep an eye on your story. I almost woke up my roommate to tell her about your update, but I'll just tell her tomorrow after her tests...

Name: Witchy_Woman (Signed) · Date: 02/12/06 16:37 · For: The Legend
Arrrgh! Not a cliffhanger!!!!! Awseome chapter, by the way. Please update soon!!! 10/10

Name: Witchy_Woman (Signed) · Date: 02/12/06 16:37 · For: The Legend
Arrrgh! Not a cliffhanger!!!!! Awseome chapter, by the way. Please update soon!!! 10/10

Name: neville_is_my_hero (Anonymous) · Date: 02/10/06 16:13 · For: Jocelyn's Predicament
I loved it, so far, congrats! :-B Do the neville (big teeth)

Name: koolgirl1993 (Signed) · Date: 02/08/06 7:15 · For: The Legend
please, do not leave such cliffhangers for us to hold on!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!! you better submit your chapter soon... or you will get whatever's there in the secret chamber of the Blacks!!!! ;-D 10/10

Name: Oliver_Wood (Anonymous) · Date: 02/06/06 16:21 · For: Jocelyn's Predicament
THis was sooo good,i loved it. Its one of my favorites. Love it!

Name: hpbookworm06 (Signed) · Date: 02/06/06 15:26 · For: The Legend
ooo suspense! I don't really get why Remus, Lily, and James can't save Sirius and Jocelyn, but I'll probably get it better next chapter. Good Job. It's so dark. Update soon!!

Name: songbook99 (Signed) · Date: 02/06/06 12:34 · For: The Legend
This was a very interesting chapter. I like the way you have it split up between the two different locations. The scene between James, Remus, and Lily was really great at showing the strain Sirius's actions have put on all of his friends. You really portray their emotions well, especially James losing control of his emotions the more Lily pushed him about following Sirius. However, the best thing in this scene for me was the subtle mention of Peter and how he had left Hogwarts right after exams. You slip that fact in so subtly that I might have missed it if I weren't looking for something about Peter that would point to the fact that he is with Bellatrix and the other Death Eaters. That little bit of subtlety was my absolute favorite part of this chapter. Of course, I did like the final scene between Sirius and Jocely and am looking forward to finding out what is behind the door. Nicely written.

Name: Crazy About Dan (Signed) · Date: 02/05/06 15:56 · For: The Legend
That was awesome. I can't wait to find out what happens. For some wierd reason I really liked when James kind of blew up and said what was on his mind.

Name: beth1191 (Signed) · Date: 02/05/06 13:12 · For: The Legend
the chapter is great!! plz update ASAP

Name: Auror_Girl9894 (Signed) · Date: 02/04/06 21:31 · For: The Legend
Oh no, a cliffhanger. I wonder what will happen to Jocelyn and Sirius. Will they Live? Or will they die? I really hope that they live. update soon please! 10/10!!!!!

Name: LaneTechFreshie (Signed) · Date: 02/04/06 18:05 · For: The Legend
Meep! That first half was quite...well...it made me feel sad for poor Jamsiekins. I think James's (Or James' , whatever) confession was kinda ackward. Oh well. The second half makes me anxious to find out what in the world happens to Sirius and Jocelyn. You're right. This isn't English class, and thank God it's not.

Name: jamesnlilyforever (Signed) · Date: 02/04/06 13:17 · For: The Legend
No!! A cliffhanger!! I feel so sorry for James, Remus, and Lily. That is so sad. It's feels like I am reading a script of on of those horror movies. When the main character is about to go somewhere really dangerous and you start yelling at the screen. That's sounds weird... I meant to say it was really good. Edge of your seat stuff towards the end. Update as soon as you can!!

Name: JFig (Signed) · Date: 02/04/06 9:08 · For: The Legend
That's so sad I can't imagine knowing someone is going to die and not being able to do anything about it. It's quite depressing, really. But, once again, great chapter. And gee, thanks for leaving it at such a cliffhanger!! Can't wait for the updates! **JFig

Name: rita_skeeter (Signed) · Date: 02/04/06 8:52 · For: The Legend
Ahhh! Such a cliffhanger! Brilliantly written. I couldn't help feeling extremely sorry for Lily during this chapter, even if she was being a bit bossy. Well done on another great installment. 10/10

Name: Starmaiden (Signed) · Date: 01/31/06 20:57 · For: Of Trust and Promises
I can’t believe it’s been so long since I read this story! My take on this chapter is that there’s some great humor, a couple grammar issues, and a good chapter overall.

I love the humor here: “What, there’s a spell that makes them change from bad to good?” suggested Jocelyn mockingly.

“No, from living to dead,” Sirius corrected bluntly.
Ha, I love that. Great bit of humor that fits very nicely with the story.

A couple of grammatical things:
You forgot the period on
She frowned

And this is a bit odd:
She’d sworn she wouldn’t let anything happen to her family…. Sworn she wouldn’t just sit back and let things happen…. Sworn she’d always fight by Sirius’s side…. Sworn she wouldn’t fall in love with him…. Sworn she wouldn’t let his nature kill him…. You don’t need to make each of these a different sentence. If you just string them together, it’ll look smoother, like this: “She’d sworn she wouldn’t let anything happen to her family…sworn she wouldn’t just sit back and let things happen...” and so on. If you’d rather make them separate sentences – which will make it faster-paced – you can just take out the …., like so: “She’d sworn she wouldn’t let anything happen to her family. Sworn she wouldn’t just sit back and let things happen.” Also, when you use the possessive form of a word that ends in S, like Sirius, you can put an apostrophe on the end without the extra S: Sirius’.

“A legend is nothing more than a strand of truth woven into a tapestry of lies by people who aren’t even sure which thread the truth is. Believe me, you can stumble upon it.”
There’s a bit of cliché in the “strand of truth,” but I really like the part about people not being sure which thread they are holding.

Flames burst in the windows of Jocelyn’s eyes.
Nice bit of imagery there.

“Angry, disappointed, jealous, it’s all the same!” she shouted semi-hysterically.
“Semi-hysterically” is awkward. It might flow a little better if you substitute something like “on the point of hysteria.”

The only other thing – and I may just be slow on this point -- is that I don’t understand why Sirius isn’t sure if he can trust Jocelyn. I know they’ve been fighting, but she’s never done anything to betray him (unless you count Hector, and that wasn’t quite the same).

I really like this story. I know I’ve criticized it a lot, but I really do like it. At first, it looks like a girl-saves-boy-from-Dark-Lord plot, but I like that Jocelyn is helping Sirius, not Harry, and fighting as much against his own self as he is Bellatrix. So, very nice, keep writing, and I’ll be back to read more!

Name: rivers of gold (Signed) · Date: 01/31/06 15:47 · For: Of Trust and Promises
I love your story! Absolutely wonderful...thank you for updating!

Name: Madame Moony (Signed) · Date: 01/20/06 21:43 · For: Of Trust and Promises
*Sighs heavily* Oh, thank God, my favorite author is back!!! You know, I was getting worried. My friends had been talking about discontinuation of some of their favorite stories and then I started to get worried that you might have discontinued and---!!! *Sighs* Stupid, I know, but things happen... On the chapter, just as good as always!!! Glad to see you still got your writing-mojo!!! Lol. Well, Infinity/10, as usual!!!! (What other kind of rating could I possibly give you unless they raised the ratings?)

Name: Paige Summer Malfoy (Anonymous) · Date: 01/18/06 16:34 · For: Of Trust and Promises
It was a little bit confuzzling, but that's what keeps me reading. You better update soon, I want to find out more!

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