that was really exciting! im really nervous now!! but if marcus goes down and visits the ziners, hes not gonna leave alive is he?
wow, that was cool, peeps r getting suspicous tho, duh duh DUH! im still reasding, i love it, keep it up! xxx
yea, thanks for the bit at the beginning i didnt realise that tom was the godfather, i felt awfull when reading the bit about the puonishments, it was really sad, i was wundring, is this fic reated an R because of all the violence?
Author's Response: It's rated R because of the violence and the language. I don't put the punishments in there for the sake of putting in punishments. They are very important to both Jessica's and Casey's development.
wow, that was cool, for like the rarities in my life, i enjoy this fic that isnt directly about the marauders! its really good, i want to no more about jessica and tom, i really like the way you write the convosations between them, well done!
Author's Response: A marauder fan likes my fic?! That is a very high compliment. Thank you. Don't worry though. The Marauders will get an increasing role in my story. James will get a bigger role in the fourth and fifth years, Sirius' role increasing soon after that. Remus will also get an increasing role after school, as well as Peter (I haven't forgot about that boy!). But Jessica and the Slytherins are going to be very central during the school years. Don't get your hopes up too high - this story is about Jessica and the Slytherins, but as the marauders get an increasing influence in Jessica's life, they will enter the story more. And don't worry here as well - they will have both a good AND bad influence on her life. I may be a fan of the Slytherins, but I am do enjoy the Marauders.
that was great, but i hope u will shed some light on this jessica character as i am most intruiged by her presence...
Author's Response: She's one of the central characters to my story, so don't worry. I'll be shedding a lot of light on her. She's only one of a few central characters. Snape is another central character, as well as Casey. James, Sirius, and Lily are also central characters to my story, but I am not focusing on them as much as I will be in the future (and trust me, I will be focusing on them a lot as well).
very good, i keep checking everday for updates. how's the next chapter coming? hope its going well, please update soon!
Author's Response: I have chapter 10 done. I will hopefully get it out tonight. Chapter 11 and 12 are almost done too.
I could of swore i read this before...Did you have a story on MNI? AnywaysI love it! P0sT MoRe!
Author's Response: Yes, I had the same story at MNI before it went down, so you probably read it there. I'm glad you love it :)
very good story. There are many things I wish to say. The compliments and criticisms may come out haphazardly. I find it surprising that Dumbledore doesn't know about the Montgomery gift. If I haven't misinterpreted what you wrote, (and this is possible) you have Dumbledore as Headmaster since around the defeat of Grindewald. I would think that the Sorting Hat and the portraits would be honor bound to tell Dumbledore of this cloak of protection that can be invoked on Hogwarts. On the other hand it really isn't till book 5 does it explicitly state that the castle protects itself against Headmaster pretenders. How old is Gary Rum? You may have given a line about it but every time I reread this story I have skipped it. I like how you have portrayed the Slytherin House. Not everyone is evil. I thought that Jeff Rin's comments to Jessica was poignant. Her reply back to him was equally heartbreaking. I also like how you have both the Americans and the British working together. Also you have given examples of how Riddle/Voldemort have spread fear and no one knows who will be next. I also think you handled the child abuse appropriately. It's a tricky thing to do, but Jessica's responses seem reasonable: that is she is afraid of her abusers, thinks no one can help her, and feels extra guilt when someone is hurt or killed because she feels she should have prevented it. I like the response you gave her after she killed her father- the realization that she could be just like Tom.
Author's Response: I am very glad you are enjoying my story so far. Dumbledore just became the headmaster at the beginning of my story. As I understand it from the books, he became headmaster the same year Remus Lupin started Hogwarts, and that happens to be where my story starts. So Dumbledore just became headmaster. My reference to him being an employee of Hogwarts refers to him teaching Transfiguration, which I understood him to have started around the time he killed Grindelwald. Gary is around the same age of Dumbledore. I do not state this explicitly in the story, so if it's confusing, I'm sorry. I try to imply this during the conversation between Gary and Dumbledore after breakfast the same morning Stephen confronts Gary about Jessica stopping the boggart. (After I finish Part 1, I might pause a bit and completely reread and edit Part 1 and republish it so I can fix confusions and problems such as this.) I am very glad you think I handled the child abuse appropiately. Child abuse in a story - especially a fan fiction - is a very tricky beast. The whole child abuse is to show a few different things about Jessica - one being her pure desperation to try and save everybody and not quite knowing how; another being her change in battling Tom versus becoming like Tom; and, as it will become more clear later, her fight between saving the world versus saving those she loves more than life itself, even if this includes saving them from herself. Hopefully, I didn't just confuse you more. tehe I'm glad you like everything thus far, and I sincerely hope you continue to enjoy it. Continue with the compliments and the constructive criticisms as you see fit. I enjoy the compliments and take the criticisms into consideration as I continue to write the story.
Thanks for the summation at the beginning of the chapter.
needed to read twice to pick up on subtle details. I like the detail you give in describing the teacher's interactions with each other.
I was going to point out some of the non-canon facts such as Lucius being a lot older than Severus but if you started writing this before OOP, it makes sense. The other thing that seems out of place is the fact that Jessica's parents even have a relationship with the Evans. If they are suppose to be snobby pureblood their "friendliness" to the Evans might be out of character. Maybe the next chapters will explain this better.
Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing! About Jessica's father's relationship with Lily's parents - unfortunately, you have to wait for this explaination. I was going to wait and put it in a lot later (during their seventh year at Hogwarts), but I realize why it's odd. I can fit it in during one of the next couple of chapters. Some things are going to be figured out anyhow (currently, not even Jessica understands why her father was friends with Lily's parents). Right now, as a preliminary explaination has already been explained in further, already published chapters. Jeffery (Jessica's father) is more money hungry than anything. He was getting what he wanted from the relationship - money. Money is power in Jeffery's book, and he didn't care how he had to get it, even if it was from Muggles.
i rele like it but! sirius' family were DARK wizards neway its v.v.v. gd like the subject of story
Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing :) I'm glad you're enjoying it so far. I do know that Sirius' family were dark wizards, but I started to write this fan fiction before I found that out. I do incorporate part of that later in the story by making part of Sirius' family dark - his aunts, uncles, cousins, etc - but, in my fan fiction, his parents happen to be good people. I apologize, but I had this well started before the fifth book so I decided to keep going the direction I was going. Sorry! :) Another thing here is that I'm sort of drawing a parallel (sp?) between Sirius Black and his family and Jessica Ziners and her family. In my story, they are suppose to be something of parallel (sp?) characters. What's v.v.v. mean?
i thought that it was really good..... though it really didnt seem like Jessica wanted to be in Slytherin, but i guess that she was ment to be...... PLEASE PLEASE keep writing
Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed it. Keep reading :)
Author's Response: Any day now......