Reviews For Magorian
Reviewer: LilmissBrit
Date: 03/28/05 12:34
Chapter: Of Lice and Fen

The Savant: The Savant. Racecar: [sigh] That’s your name, sire. The Savant: Really? I thought it was Ondorbgo. I always thought Ondorbgo didn’t roll off the tongue well… Racecar: Don’t worry sire. For the longest time I thought my name was Pole Position! The Savant: Dodaru. Racecar: Amazing! One that isn’t taken! How did you do it sire? The Savant: Simple. I combined a Dod- with an –aru. Racecar: You are a mastermind, sire. The Savant: Don’t you forget it. In fact, from now on, you will address me as “mastersire.” Well, looks like we’ve gotten that problem out of the way! Racecar: Not quite, sire. There are at least ten minor OCs in this chapter as well. YAAAAAAY! You updated *on-the-spot jig* God, 6000 words? Conversations with yourself? Strange songs? I'm not going to lie to you, I think you've got some Jepufvktrhwgyxc blood in you, but that's from your father's side of the family, I have nothing to do with it. Wait a second, am I related to you? Erm, no. However, if you've got that mid-reading machine that ISN'T a barbie in disguise I would be grateful....*10* My random friend, it was sooo good!

Author's Response: No, no, no, I'm afraid you're mistaken. My blood is 50 percent Derxuisampghangalonfok and 50 percent Matekiteornovoragenagakameninukre. By the way, I just wanted to say that I was unable to contact emaleth for the chapter. So it's all me.

Reviewer: Hermiones_Revenge
Date: 03/27/05 21:45
Chapter: Of Lice and Fen

Drat, in that long, rambling review I forgot to inform you that I currently have pictures of my "Hogwarts Overturned" OCs up on my author page, in case you're interested. Oh well, another review for you.

Author's Response: One more review= One review closer to total burnination of the planet. I will make sure to look at them.

Reviewer: Hermiones_Revenge
Date: 03/27/05 21:43
Chapter: Of Lice and Fen

First to review Lice and Fen? I'm honored! This chapter was utterly brilliant, if I do say so myself. It's comforting to know that I'm not the only one in the world who finds Lederhosen amusing. But anyway, I thought that you might like to know that the answer to all of the questions you will ever have about any of the chapters you are going to write in the future is twelve left shoes and a Richard Simmons video. If this is unclear to you, there is something you can do...

Take out a piece of scrap paper and write the words "Where is my gouda" on it. Promptly throw it out of a second story window. In approximately 3 minutes and 32 seconds, you will recieve a phone call from "Lousy Bob". Lousy Bob will inform you to meet him at the supermarket in seventeen minutes with the goods. By "the goods" he means 12 lbs. of tomato paste. By "the supermarket" he means the bank. And by "seventeen minutes" he means fifteen. But anyway, when you arrive at the bank, you will find a large cardboard box. Carefully put the tomato paste into the box and leave, making sure no one is watching you in the process. At this time you will need to go out and buy a new sport jacket, preferably an orange one, if you can manage it. Once you have completed this, return to the bank and look inside the cardboard box. The tomato paste should be gone and instead, twelve small cucumbers should be in it's place. Take a medium-sized bite out of the largest one and give the rest away to the first person you see wearing ugly pants. Now you must return home, but not before mailing a letter to the Canadian prime minister, demanding equal rights for the backstreet boys. Threaten him that if your demands are not met, you will send him to the Closet-of-Things-That-One-Normally-Would-Not-Like-To-Be-In-A-Closet-With.

Everything should make sense after that.

Author's Response: Man, you are teaching me more and more every frickin' day! Before your excellent courses in evil villainy, I thought that the answer to every qustion one could conceivably ask was "trout". In light of your awesome tutoring, I am ashamed to admit that I failed your task. It's terrible, I know: Apparently, the Tomato Paste I bought was labeled by some dyslexic eight-year-old in a Thai sweatshop and it read "Pomato Taste". So, needless to say, the whole trial went out of whack and I ended up with just a Get-Out-Of-Jail-Free card and no enlightenment as to your words of wisdom. I apologize for my failure. Will this interfere with my upcoming initian into the Insane Sophomores' Society?

Reviewer: LilmissBrit
Date: 03/19/05 3:32
Chapter: O She of Shadows

But...but....but....I live in the countryside...what SHOULD be burnt is the cows. Why do cows give birth at annoying times? Like two in the morning? I swear, there's this one cow who has it in for me. At about 5 in the morning she'll moo really loudly and then sit back down again. I know it's her. I know it...Pepsi Max does not claim any responsibility for consumers experiencing mild forms of schizophrenia and paranoia. Drink Pepsi Max in moderation with a healthy diet. Do not drink in view of farm animals.

Author's Response: Thank God Pespsi Max isn't my sponsor. The views of our affiliates do not reflect our own. Toyota has nothing against Pepsi Max. We would sever ties with The Savant without reservation if it meant that keeping him as a vender would alienate the fine folk at PepsiCorp. Disregard anything The Savant says about PepsiCorp. And don't stop reading his fic. Those subliminal messgaes have to kick in sometime...

Reviewer: LilmissBrit
Date: 03/18/05 5:14
Chapter: O She of Shadows

But I like cobwebs....

Author's Response: Anything Trogdor burninates deserves to be burninated. That includes the countryside, peasants and all the thatched-roof cottages.

Reviewer: LilmissBrit
Date: 03/17/05 11:34
Chapter: O She of Shadows

News just in: TROGDOR! Now, draw a dragon And add a lot of Vs. NOT THAT TYPE OF V! Burnin burnin...oh shit. I was afraid this would happen....it's in my head....TROGDOR!

Author's Response: He burninated the cobwebs right out of my head.

Reviewer: LilmissBrit
Date: 03/17/05 7:01
Chapter: O She of Shadows

Oh...the one who's madly in love with you....what sort of muppet are you to become an argonaut? I mean, honestly. Also: I like being Miss Piggy. I'm not that fat or ugly (the mirror in Snow White said I was the fairest of them all. She might have been just talking to Snow White, now that I think about it...) but it's just a great excuse to slap people and be conceited. You can be elmo. Have fun with the collaboration...

Author's Response: What sort of Muppet am I to become an Argonaut? Uncle Deadly, of course! (Best muppet ever.)

Reviewer: LilmissBrit
Date: 03/16/05 5:11
Chapter: O She of Shadows

Yes, they do, because when a star explodes 96% of the matter can be calculated, however some matter appears to go into the black hole...of course, black holes are where there is no light, so we can't tell whether there is another universe on the other side...which leads me to Plan B, in which case squirrels in moulin rouge suits are trapped inside cyber space.

Author's Response: You've converted me; I will mindlessly squabble no further. "Find the Moulin Rouge space squirrels, give them electric guitars, and make them agree to form a rock band with Trogdor called "The Outlandish Puppeteers" and make an intergalactic tour" is now third on my to-do list. Right after "Find the Golden Fleece" (Damn my decision to become an Argonaut!) and "Find new way to power death cannon". (If you don't know who Trogdor is, go to www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail58.html, come back, and pretend you did.) This just in- a breaking news report! Apparently, chapter 11 is going to knock everyone's socks off! Including the ones on their hands. (Don't deny it.) The Savant, according to the latest details, is collaborating with emaleth to make it. The first half of the chapter will be all him, then it will be handed to her, so that I, er, I mean he won't know what will happen with the chapter! Stay tuned for more coverage on the startling occurence! Adieu.

Reviewer: LilmissBrit
Date: 03/15/05 2:59
Chapter: O She of Shadows

There are too....ever wonder how 96% of this universe can be accounted for, but a whole 4% of dark matter can't be (I'm being serious, here). Well, it must go into black holes, but that doesn't explain where it goes from there....so there must be another universe on the other side where the 4% of dark matter gets blasted into. But, if life is the unexpected (which it is - does anything follow plan exactly) somewhere squirrels are in Moulin Rouge costumes. Either that, or they're trapped in cyberspace.

Author's Response: Ah, but no one knows whether black holes actually exist, do they? And 4% of a universe does not make an entirely new universe, especially not one with Moulin Rouge squirrels.

Reviewer: LilmissBrit
Date: 03/14/05 14:56
Chapter: O She of Shadows

Fine, okay. New idea to keep the squirrel fanatic in with the metaphor. Squirrels...are unexpected to be included wearing smarkly red Moulin Rouge suits in the next Harry Potter film. But, as life is the unexpected, they clearly will be, if not here, in a parallel universe....my physics is so good, it's out of this world. No, seriously, it is. It's so good my teachers can't understand it.

Author's Response: Squirrels in Moulin Rouge suits? Oh god, where did I put the chloroform!? [Transform into serious, unfunny debator form. It has the sound the Transformers make when they transform. Sort of sounds like "e-o-uh-a-e-e" but not really It's hard to type. Well, you know the sound. Anyway.] Your logic is unintelligible. First off, there's no guarantee that that there even are parallel universes. Second of all, even if there were, Moulin Rouge probably wouldn't exist in the universe with the sentient squirrels. [revert back.] Did you know that Jesus was actually born in Poughkeepsie to an air traffic controller named Mandy? Just thought you ought to know.

Reviewer: Kimberley
Date: 03/13/05 16:17
Chapter: Chicken Feast

Savant, he whom I love... you seem to be a clever lad. Do you have ANY idea how to create one's own webpage, where one would be able to post their stories without waiting for mod approval? Please help! And thanks, too, I suppose.

Author's Response: For your purposes, use Geocities' free accounts. One can only upload five megs a time, so I normally wouldn't recommend it for other things but text. It has bulit-in programs to help you get accustomed to HTML, so it's worth it. If all else fails, send me what you want and I'll try to make a site out of it when I get the chance.

Reviewer: LilmissBrit
Date: 03/13/05 6:52
Chapter: Chicken Feast

BTW: I got so philosophical with you about toher world and existence....that Magorian existing in another world is now on my bio. I thought it was important that everyone know that somewhere, out there, somewhere near you (or about a million light years, give or take) MAGORIAN IS THERE. He is waiting....he is unexpected.....he is there....dunh Dunh DUNH! MWAHAHA! Did I say that out loud? Oops. Best not to do evil laugh in internet cafes....

Author's Response: Magorian will forever be in my soul, and the souls of all readers, forever reminding us to cast aside decency and indulge in the chaos of emotion and impulse. Then he'll find away to break out of his astral prison and we'll all be like, "Hey! I'm an empty shell now! Give me back my soul!" and then Magorian will be like, "No! Cock it!" and then we'll be like, "Please?" and then he'll be like "Okay." and re-enter you. I knew I shouldn't've just written down what the voices were saying.

Reviewer: LilmissBrit
Date: 03/10/05 5:08
Chapter: O She of Shadows

Life is not what you expect. I did not expect Magorian, so with that logic, he exists. BEYOND THE BOOK!

Author's Response: Hehe. Squirrels.

Reviewer: LilmissBrit
Date: 03/09/05 5:15
Chapter: O She of Shadows

Coincidence is something that occurs that was first deemed unimpossible - and is only coincidence when somewhere declares, "But it can't be so!" The inevitable is something that occurs when we have no choice in the matter, and we have been trying to pretend that it will not occur. The truth is something you have dreamt - and you only know it is the truth when others are dreaming the same dream........ In other words: The world is full of strange things, and different realities. Perhaps in a different universe Magorian really does exist...

Author's Response: [examines drawings of various squirrels in different poses] Er, I'm sorry, what were you were saying? I'm afraid I quite lost you at "unimpossible". Well, whatever it was, I've taken it to heart. Literally. Your review is now in my blood stream.

Reviewer: FriendsOfSnape
Date: 03/07/05 13:01
Chapter: O She of Shadows

I must say that this has got to be one of the funniest things I've read. I particularly liked "The Swamp" being on between "Survivor: Idaho" and "Survivor: Hell." May randomness live on! And always remember: It's not a good story unless something catches fire.

Author's Response: Words to live by. Or to burn by. Your choice.

Reviewer: LilmissBrit
Date: 03/06/05 1:41
Chapter: O She of Shadows

It's not extinct? Huh. I have to go inform the professors at Huyohkt University...I swore to them it was extinct. (PS: I know the feeling. It's a lot harder to type with fins in an enclosed lake under Mount Etna.)

Author's Response: That's nothing. Try typing whil you're running away from winged pink velociraptors that want to rip into you like a ripping machine would a particularly rippable object. It's no picnic. Well, maybe for them it is...

Reviewer: LilmissBrit
Date: 03/06/05 1:40
Chapter: O She of Shadows

It's not extinct? Huh. I have to go inform the professors at Huyohkt University...I swore to them it was extinct. (PS: I know the feeling. It's a lot harder to type with fins in an enclosed lake under Mount Etna.)

Author's Response: Have you ever been to Huyohkt? Yes? What a coincidence! I haven't.

Reviewer: LilmissBrit
Date: 03/06/05 1:40
Chapter: O She of Shadows

It's not extinct? Huh. I have to go inform the professors at Huyohkt University...I swore to them it was extinct. (PS: I know the feeling. It's a lot harder to type with fins in an enclosed lake under Mount Etna.)

Author's Response: Apparently, you have to inform them three times.

Reviewer: Hermiones_Revenge
Date: 03/05/05 20:09
Chapter: Chicken Feast

Do you realize that 14 of your reviews came from me? crap, I guess it's 15 now... Think about it: what would you do without me?

Author's Response: Breathe. Eat. A little sleeping now and then. Then straight back to the eating.

Reviewer: Hermiones_Revenge
Date: 03/04/05 18:57
Chapter: Chicken Feast

Break out the knife cutter! Someone needs to do something about that ninja, and you seem to be the right person for the job. I'm too busy. Or maybe just too lazy. And the Salt Lake city thing...apparently that's true. Also it's apparently true that in PA it's illegal to walk like a chicken through a 4 way intersection. I have no idea whether or not it's true, but it would explain a lot...anyhoo, I'm off to go sing some showtunes and eat a cookie or two, not necessarily in that order. And you get another review out of all this.

Author's Response: Just don't sing showtunes and eat cookies at the same time. It makes you drool a bit... I have just brutally murdered the ninja. Or rather, my pet magpie Garry did. It was quite impressive, actually. You should have seen the celerity in which that beak was gouging out his jugular vein. When the ninja started to try to strangle my bird, it retaliated by taking out his Islets of Langerhans with a near-frightening fervor. Garry is better than an entire roost of dragons. I love him to death.

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