Wow. That is all I can possibly say right now. Very, very funny. :-)
Wow. That is all I can possibly say right now. Very, very funny. :-)
And here I was thinking that this story had ended. The battle of the swamp was over, there seemdd to be a somewhat reasonable (for this story anyway) conclusion, and then THERE'S ANOTHER CHAPPIE!!!!!!!!! Oh, massive funnies, and cheese. Always cheese.
Yaaay cheese doodles whhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nice one. Any more chapters after this?
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! The magic has returned ... okay, I admit it, I haven't even read it yet. BUT I'M JUST SO YAY-ey!!!! Aren't you just dying to hear/read my opinion? I know you are. Don't try to deny it. My minions say hi. Thanks for the advice on that btw. There's an insanely long story behind my minions ... but now is not the time. Be afraid. Be VERY afraid. My next rambling review is on it's way ...
Author's Response: Do not tell me what I can or cannot deny! YOU CANNOT INTIMIDATE ME, NO MATTER HOW FREAKISH OR NUMEROUS YOUR DEPRAVED LEGIONS MAY BE, OR HOW YAY-EY YOU CLAIM TO BE!!!! And thank you for the kind words. I will cherish them all dearly till my dying day.
magorian is so STUPID!!!! love your story
Author's Response: And I too love conflicting messages. I would also love it if you would review a few more times, each review becoming longer than the first, until my collection of reviews is so overgrown that my computer wobbles. But enough about you. I(no stinking apostrophe on this keyboard)m a single white male and enjoy long walks on the beach and morning breath. Call me!
Author's Response: *sigh* There goes the Pineapple Bomb...
Are you serious I am serious? (Huh, that could get confusing). We may be inbred, and have an unnatural fondness for sheep and jandals, but we do not discriminate against fruit (in fact, as we refer to ourselves as Kiwis, the pineapple is our distant cousin). A certain friend of mine got a mole removed from her nose with liquid nitrogen, I shall be sure to ask her for some, and try out your Pineapple Theory. There were barely any people here in the 1800's, so there won't be too many casualties ... unless the force is so great that the blast reaches Oz ... I hope so. (To Any Aussies Reading This: Just kidding, you know we love you guys ... just, you know, DEEP down!)
Author's Response: NO!!! Do NOT reconstruct the Pineapple Bomb! Its destructive power is unparalled! You honestly think the dinosuars died off because of a mere meteor? It was enough to kill Oigroig, maybe, but definitely not an entire phylum of reptiles! No, cheri, only the Pineapple Bomb had the power to create the eighty ice ages of this Earth. Only it could create the star shower of c. 1010 A.D. Only it could inspire TV execs to actually make a show with PARIS HILTON in it! OH THE HORROR!
Hkdahds nbgm kfds cmk mdlf sifmmmmmmm lfkl lld rlld llr.dssl fllr ll ll llkrhjdhjjj jjejb mhfkkkkkkkkkkkkkkksdb fdm,jhhhhhhhhk,,.df;kglfd; fkkkldutaihenmmmmmmmmmmjjlksduhaw jk. uier ijer njfie jdku fkf , Oops, sorry. I fell asleep and my head landed on the keyboard coz THAT WAS SO LONG!!! However, I only fell asleep AFTER reading it, not during, so I believe you did something right. I am no perv! "And they had to do it in a Muggle library." Hehe. Ahem, I am simply immature. DUH. Also, New Zealand (*heart swells with national pride*) has outlawed the possession of pineapples, something to do with Spongebob being gay.
Author's Response: New Zealand outlawed pineapples? Are you serious? Well, if they did, I don't think it had anything to do with Spongebob (whom, by the way, I hate with every fiber of my mock-cashmere soul). The cartoon was an alibi for a more dastardly raison d'etre. Pineapples, once dipped into liquid nitrogen and spun around a few thousand times at 8G force, become an energy source so potent, the slightest negative thought in a twenty mile radius of it will cause a detonation so explosive, it will kill people in the 1800s.
okay, I have not yet read this chapter, but ya know what? I think that you are absolutly insane.
Author's Response: That's not insane. This is insane: Mr. Magoo and the cat from Josie and the Pussy Cats are going to elope together and establish a new restaurant/casino in a boat at the center of the Bermuda Triangle that serves only the outer crust of hashbrowns and whose only game is craps played standing on tightropes. Plus, they get to show the unedited version of The Price is Right. (Bob Barker still thinks he's dreaming when hosting the show, so they have to cut out the parts where he tries to fly.)
u are an insane psycopath i think u should go to St. Mungos for some treatment for your damaged brain for that is the only thing that could enable you to write so awfully. loved the fic by the way
Author's Response: If you say so.
(I already responded to your question about the end...right? I think I did...right. Got it. time to start the review.) Alas, chapter 12. The Great Refrigerator. Sasquatch. Baddness Brigade. Poland. Twenty-seven geese and a Scandinavian postal worker. Blue. N'SYNC. One million funny looking mimes at a Ukranian convention. All this should explain my opinion of this chapter.
Author's Response: Yes, but what should I do about the end? It is, as aforementioned, vitally important.
Sorry love, but it's not just you. The chapter does end with an abrupt Voldem- Now I have to go read the chapter...
Author's Response: Crap.
Yeah, I know, I am an insult to my fellow freaks of genetic engineering ... but I am only just discovered this magnificent-o masterpiece ... anywho the fact is, this is SCANDALOUS. There is a FUNNY story in the HUMOUR (yes, you may remove the 'U' if you wish) section!! What is the world coming to? I will continue reading this story like the good little girl I am :).
Author's Response: You think YOU'RE an insult to fellow freaks of engineering? Man, what 'til you see what I look like...
No, hon, your calculations are all wrong. If I get the Arctic it's a 50/50 split. You've also got another thing wrong - WHAT WILL I DO WITHOUT SPONSORS? What will I do? Huh? What? Will? I? Do? I need them...there's this one guy, Kwame, gorgeous ass, who's in charge of finance at JP Morg...hey, wait a second, why am I telling you this? Well, to paraphrase a perverted story about a talk over finance that took place in a broom closet, the moral of the story is that I need my sponsors. NOW! That's right - I will pay you $37486070489372.59372859 to send whatever military you have or will acquired to I Am Ripping You Off Company; 6476 Franklin Avenue; Downham; Essex; England. I also find it insulting that you are insinuating that I might pay with monopoly money! Mister, if you keep this up I'll just find somebody else to send me an army of 3000000000 people. That's not exactly a lot - there's gotta be that many lying around SOMEWHERE. Yeah, you're getting a sweet deal, you betcha. Appreciate it. Now get to work. I need em by Monday to hunt for my lost sponsors. They have to be brought back live, unfortunately, because dead people can't sign checks. NOW GET TO WORK! Your boss, from the I Am Ripping You Off Company.
Author's Response: That is quite a lot of money. I would gladly send you my army, A.K.A my pet monkey with a pair of scissors, but there's a slight dilemma. I'm in jail. And I can't get out. Oh, how lovely it would be with my monkey... it's so lonely here. If only someone could spring me out. [Stares at you and whispers "Mogadishu Penitentiary, cell block eighteen, the one without all the piercings"] And get me some pistacchio ice cream while you're at it.
Ahh... the power of... Chicken! This story is random, but not random to the point of stupidity... which makes everything HAPPY (especially me)!
Author's Response: Yes, the Chicken is extremely mighty. "For its beauty, wars are fought. With its power, wars are won." - Gilded Lotus
First of all, funny story. I thouroughly enjoy. It's great conversation material, if you wish to confuse the audience. Second: I noticed in a response to one of your reviews you said "burination." This is good, should you wish to read my new story (and you should, everyone should, tell all your friends). The second chapter, just submitted, has a kerrek in it. I'm hoping you know what I'm talking about. I also like burninating. But you knew that. I'm also rambling. But you knew that also. But I like your story and am reviewing, so it's okay. But I will stop now. 1, 2, 3, now!
Author's Response: Of course I know what a Kerrek is. I even downloaded Peasant's Quest onto my computer. Finding your new story would require my knowing its name.
Your sponsors have gone? Tell them if you come back, you'll give them some creatine with cut-in cannabis. Works every t-(LilmissBrit's sponsors would like to point out that after a meeting with the sponsors of The Savants, the clients are a danger to all humanity. But they would also like to add that they would give them a few good reviews if they could just have that creatine with the cannabis. Please.) Crap, I'm not hanging around with you no more! First my sponsors dump me and THEN they steal my cannabis and steroids! MY CHICKENS NEED THOSE! (Or was it cows...? Do I even have a farm? Hmmm...could this sudden memory loss be due to cannabis and steroids? What was I just talking about? Hmm...)
Author's Response: Screw humanity. What have they ever done for this? We don't need to supply them anything, let alone recreational stimulants. We don't need to take any crap from any sponsors. We can help each other. That's right- I'm extending a formal invititation for you to be my official evil genius accomplice! You get the northwestern hemisphere and I take everythin else, so it's an even 50-50 split. Deal?
Well, you sure as hell don't get your randomness from me, that's for sure. Now, where did I put that pink oatmeal that I was going to add stereoids to and make chicken feed with? HEY! Buddy! What are you doing with my chicken feed? Give it back! WHAT DO YOU MEAN "it's mine"??? I need it for my chickens. I don't have any chickens, you say? And you do? And the chicken feed bag has your name stamped on it on huge letters? Buddy, did I mention I was blind with a lot of imaginary chickens to dope up? I didn't? Huh. Maybe I should have....
Author's Response: You feed your chickens steroids? Awesome! Magorian uses a mixture of standard birdfeed and-- [Sponsors intervene] Er, I mean, BAD LIL MISSBRIT! I DO NOT condone the use of steroids and its like! The only reason I'm not reporting you to the authorties despite ypur theft and intended use, is that you don't actually have any chickens to abuse like that and besides, the judges have a soft spot for blind girls. Never EVER stray towards that path again, friend! EVER. (Psst. What kind of steroid do you use? Do you find that creatine works slightly better than barbituates? I--) Crap, my sponsors heard me and have abandoned me. Now I'm stranded without a budget to make more chapters. What am I going to do? Help me!
Actually, that was your initiation into the Insane Sophomore Society= we all knew you'd pick up the Pomato Taste instead of Tomato Paste...however, if you spontaneously combusted afterwards, you would've failed the task and we would've condemned you to six hours in the Pit-Of-Things-That-Make-Your-Feet-Itchy. But there's no need for that, apparently. Oh, and I'm not sure if you've noticed, but Lousy Bob is the illegitimate brother of Richard Simmons...just thought I'd let you know. Well, here's one more review...one step closer to global domination, I s'pose...
Author's Response: I knew that Lousy Bob had a look about him that suggested he was the illegitimate relative of a C-list celebrity, but I had no idea! So I'm officially an Insane Sophomore now? Yay! You don't know how long I've waited for this! Pension premiums, store discounts, gossip swapping and, most importantly, seances to contact Gregory Peck and use his cosmic wisdom to finally find the average length of an anchovy! (Vertically, of course.) Best of all, should one of us fall in noble combat, the rest of the group shalll carry out a reckoning and are bound to avenge those who are fallen! I can't wait for those year-long hikes accross the Particularly Pleasant Mountains and those days at the Beach of Especial Enjoyability. I'm going to create us an insignia right now!