Hm. Hmmmm. I must admit I don't like songfics much, or fics based on songs. But this one did work out - wish you'd gone into more detail, I do like the Snape/Narcissa pairing very much. But anyway it's a pretty good story and I enjoyed reading it.
Very emotional. I think it's totally reasonable and makes sense that Lucius and Narcissa had an arranged marriage, based on blood status. And her family probably wouldn't have wanted her to marry a half blood like Severus. This also explains why he made the Unbreakable Vow--because of his feelings for Narcissa. I liked this a lot. It was well written and you did a good job of conveying the raw emotions of the two of them.
MORE! That's not fair! I think that you should carry on with this. (I don't know how) but it is a great story! 10000/10
Awesome fic! I really like the plot and the theory why Snape is so cold hearted is fantastic. You’re a brilliant author, OuchKibble (and beta). Keep it up!
This is the second one-shot songfic I've read that used the song Tainted Love. I definitely think it fits this couple better than the other one I read! Your writing style is very good, so I think I'll check out some more of your fics ;)
Author's Response: Thank you very much. I hadn't seen another song-fic using this song, ut I'm glad you liked mine better.
I liked the premise of this story a lot, but I wish you'd made it longer. I don't think it needed the lyrics - the story could have stood on it's own very well. I like the pairing, I like the writing, and I like the plot.My favorite aspect was your interpretation of the Malfoy's marriage - that's exactly how what I imagine their relationship to be - a pureblood arrangement. I also think it fits in wonderfully with Snape's character - I think it's very clear from OotP that he has suffered terrible heartbreak. And the descriptions of Narcissa were perfect. Beautiful, and clearly through the eyes of a young man in love.
Some parts I think you could improve on: characterization. Though some of Snape's reactions/dialogue were IC, he just wasn't 'Severus' enough for me. Same with Narcissa. I think it was very fast, and not developed as much as it could be. One-shots require a lot of detail, and you shouldn't be afraid to make it longer. I'd advise going over this and elaborating, and fine-tuning the characters, maybe get a beta who could help you with elaboration and characterization. This premise combined with your writing has great potential - I would love to see you reach that! (I'll even beta myself, if you so desire any more of my opinion ;) - just contact me.)
Wow. That was really sad, but beautiful at the same time. But I'm having trouble seeing Snape crying. Sorry, the concept's hard to grasp. To bad it was a one-shot. I would have loved to read more. 9/10
This is definitely a couple I've never come across before, but it's very original and better yet, probable! Wonderful beginning, you got right to the point, I respect that, because I have a bad habit of drawing everything out...But your descriptions are great and especially vivid! I'm waiting for the next chappie!
Author's Response: Sorry to disappoint, but that was my first step into the one-shot world. No new chapters will be posted. Though, I do have other stories on MNff if you'd like to check them out?
