Ack! How could you leave it just hanging like that! No chat for you until you get this next chapter written! Wow, not at all slow and I love Harry's devious little plan. I greatly anticipate the interaction between Harry and Snape, that will be quite a delight to read! One thing that caught my eye was: Imperious Imperius curse. I wasn't sure if that was a typo or if you were calling the curse imperious... either way it was a momentary distraction... as if I could be distracted from SexGod!Snape... but anyway. I want Maeve to tell Remus about the engagement, I want to see Harry's reaction tot the news as well. No one other than Dumbledore knows and it's getting to me! And I want to know if Remus is actually still a werewolf! Nice try at distracting us, but you're going to have to tell us what happened on that score! Anyway. Here is your benchmark review ;). You know I can only gush when it comes to your story, in fact I'm sure I sound like a blithering idiot! *pokes Jan with her wand* Hurry up and write before I do something hasty like hex you into oblivion! :P
WWWWWOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!!i must say i think this is your best chapter to date! snape and harry, remus and meave, the healer an voldemort, rampton and voldemort!!!!! too many interactions to talk about please update soon im am literally chewing my fingers off waiting to see if snape and harry can save remus and meave!!!!!!10
i think i am in love! if i had the money i would hire you and let you be my personal bed-time story author!LOL! wow once again you have came out with a wonderful chapter! i havent read a bad one yet keepup the good work! 10
That was fantastic!!! this is the best story that i have read and i have read a lot of stories on this site. i cant wait for you to submit your next chapter. please do that soon. i just luved the way you have opened up Severus and the relationship between Remus and Maeve is sooo touching. Charlie's character is very well written. the way he istaking over Bill's role is just fantastic. It was fantastci how you involved the longbottoms and neville's improvement is awesome. i can go on about your story for ages, but i am sure you have got hte idea...you have won yourself a gr8 fan!! thanks , you are a very good writer.
You are a very clever, very evil woman! The whole time I was reading about Maeve in St. Mungo's I was CONVINCED that Healer Hurtmore was in league with Voldemort. Imagine my surprise when the collaborator turned out to be someone else! I thought the scene with Arthur and his family was well done. Charlie breaks my heart, and Maeve's observation that he had "seen too much too soon" was right on the money.
I felt that the scene between Remus and Maeve as they felt they were about to meet their deaths. That she felt compelled to kiss him was so sweet and loving, it blew me away! Speaking of interesting scenes, the one with Rampton and the harp was well done. I liked that he felt he had to scratch the beauty of the instrument to "make his mark" and prove his presence. That was quite powerful.
Finally, I must say that I want Severus to smack Harry Potter five ways to Sunday! What an obnoxious little prat! I felt SO sorry for Snape that Harry's snide comments really grated at me. That's a sign of a truly gifted writer!
Amazing again! I felt so sad about Bill after Maeve and Remus left the room, it hit me just like that. I think you're writing Charlie really well, he's reacting and developing like I would expect, taking up the mantle of the oldest son. I can't believe myself, but I'm actually feeling bad for Severus Snape! And that brief worry that you gave him, about Maeve and Remus, shows even more of his humanity. I liked Roderick's thread of thoughts, interesting for the story as well as expertly and beautifully written. And to finish it off, it's great how Harry followed Snape. I've been waiting for an opportunity for them to "co-operate" in Maeve's aid. Weather if they will do that, or if Severus (I've almost stopped thinking about him as 'Snape') will simply curse the wits out of Harry, I'll have to wait for you to tell me! :)
Excellent - yet another fantastic chapter. I love the way you got Harry to tag along with Snape - that should allow for some fun in the next chapter. Also it is good that Maeve has Remus with her - he will give her the support she needs at this time - and hopefully Maeve will tell him about her impending wedding. Keep up the superb writing.
I must say, first of all, that I LOVE Ron Weasley! This line had me rolling on the couch in tears:
“Wow!” Ron was still looking shell-shocked. “Who would have thought the greasy git had it in him. She doesn’t set herself high standards, does she? Imagine him kissing you…it would be like being kissed by a sweaty Horklump.”
Once again, you show that it's the little nuances of character that make this story shine! Ron's part fascination, part disgust at the idea of Snape being intimate with someone is such a funny moment and really provides a great contrast to Harry's hurt and revulsion.
Overall I liked this chapter. There was a great flow of information and action. I loved how Maeve very deftly managed to get some critical information out of Malfoy. Very nicely written! I also liked her chat with Harry about what he saw in the Pensieve. It's about time he found someone who could help him come to terms with his father's not-so-nice side, and I felt she gave a great explanation.
Finally, I enjoyed discovering along with Maeve all of the implications of the gum. You have created an interesting theory here and I can't wait to see where it goes from here. Excellent job!
Hey, Sorry i havent reviewed any of the other chapters. I just signed up today but i've read your whole story already. I really like your character, Maeve, and you keep all the original characters in character. Update soon. I'll be watching for your story on the recently added section. I give you a 10! ~Ivy
What an excellent chapter - finally Maeve and Snape are together. I hope you are not intending to kill either one of them as this is a great storyline. Its so good to see Snape in a different light. Keep up the excellent writing.
What a wonderful chapter. I enjoyed evey moment of it. I was totally surprised by the proposal despite the chapter title. I didn't think it would be that sort of proposal!! I wonder what you have planned for them at St Mungos? I also liked the touch of jealousy we see from Snape. I await the next chapter, impatiently.
Yay!! I'm so happy with the way things turned out in this chapter! You completely surprised me with Maeve's proposal. It made so happy, and then I laughed out loud at: "'When?' he asked carefully, as if he were considering some extra class that had to be fitted into the schedule." That was great; I can just imagine Severus saying that in the surreal circumstances. And I was thrilled to have Remus back. You write his self-sacrifing nature very well. "He couldn’t let her see any of this though; it would only make her choices harder if she felt he did not fully support her." And then this broke my heart! "He rubbed her arm gently, enjoying the closeness and trying to accept that this was as close as they would ever be." It's a very interesting love triangle going on, and even though Maeve and Severus are happy and Remus would never intefere, there's still some intriguing bumpiness. (Jealous Severus!) The humor is especially good; I loved Remus unsuccessfully trying to keep Maeve from crying, Madam Pomfrey admitting her approval of the rock-pelting, and Dumbledore's aside about Norman Casanova. They were all great and added to the lighter tone of this chapter. Grammar-wise, I noticed some sentences that could use a few commas, like this one: "After weeks of thinking about this it all seemed like such an anticlimax and worse still Severus wasn’t there to share the moment with her." But overall, it was nearly flawless which makes me feel like I'm reading a novel instead of a regular fanfic. Keep it up!
I'm running out of different ways to say "great chapter," so I'll just fall back on the standard. Great chapter! My favorite part was Remus's letter. It was a perfect characterization of him: sweet, touching, and noble in his defense of Severus. I loved the excellent parallel you drew about the non-importance of blood, how blood does not tie Severus to his father and how the lack of blood does not keep Remus and Maeve from being family. I thought that was a great way to address such a large issue in the wizarding world. I was also glad to see a return to the Trio. I loved this line: "Hermione watched Ron thoughtfully and wished he’d eat a bit less and with a bit more decorum." That perfectly captures the essence of Hermioneness. There were a few typos and grammar errors, but not that many to be significant. One was "What he has not suspected" should be "What he had not suspected," unless you were artistically changing the tense for a moment. Like I said, not that significant, but I feel obligated to provide concrit and it's so darn hard to find any in your writing! I always get caught up in the story and forget I'm supposed to be reviewing. (Not that that's a complaint) And I'm glad you write fast; now it's on to the next chapter!
One of the first lines that struck me as brilliant was this one:
"Fifteen minutes later Maeve found herself two galleons lighter, considerably better educated about House-Elves, and the new secretary of S.P.E.W. She had no idea how it had happened. Hermione was an altogether trickier prospect than she had first assumed."
I laughed out loud! I also liked that it showed Hermione capable of resuming a normal relationship with someone who had previously embarrassed her in public. That shows a strength of character is Hermione that other scenes might not have.
And then you go and do this: "Could it possibly be true that finally, finally, he had found someone who could reciprocate his feelings?" Poor Poor Poor Remus! Shot down and driven to drink! I felt so badly for him, pouring out his love to Maeve only to realize that she only had feelings for Severus. I wanted to cry!
I think my favourite moment, however, was the drunken conversation between Severus and Remus. First there was this line: "Not quite so impressive without your dead friends around you, are you? Not that you ever were impressive,” he added as an afterthought." I felt like Severus had kicked me in the stomach! However, I think that in listening to what Remus had to say, he grew a little. The line "He was hopelessly out of his depth amongst this maelstrom of emotional conflict and longed for the time when life had consisted of marking substandard homework and handing out spurious detentions." was a nice bookend to that.
Overall I liked this chapter. The frightening connection between Alice and the gum wrappers as well as the strange connection between her and Rampton all serve to make your mystery expand and deepen. I only hope that Maeve hasn't been taken too far and that she's not beyond rescue!
I don't know what I was expecting was that was awesome!!!! perfect story with perfect characters.i dont want this to end.
The proposal was totally not what I was expecting! Awesome! and I really really hope that the trip to St Mungo's goes well. I'm so glad Remus has returned, and I hope Severus doesn't feel the need to act completely jealous around him! Great update!
Your story is intoxicating! Your beautiful descriptions of the world surrounding Maeve, your on target character descriptions, and your flow of words is enough to make any reader drunk with glee. I love your story, it is so nice to read about things from Maeve's POV. 10!
What a beautiful chapter! Aw you have such a talent for describing the little details that make all the difference, I was near to tears at the proposal. Gorgeous. Oh i love it. Fantastic.
First off let me apologize for the long period in between review dates(computer problems and all). Secondly let me tell you what a royal pain in the behind it has been for me not to be able to read yuor newest posts. I was truly suffering slowly and painfuly waiting for them to finish up with my computer. Now that I have in some small way pleaded for my sanctification, lets get to the story. It almost seems like every time I post I always say the same things, but what else is there to say? You are an absolute talent, a true diamond in the rough! I see no reason, that with an original plot line of your own, why there should be any troubles at all for you to get published. This chapter took me by complete suprise. Like I mentioned in a post a few weeks ago I have a very hard time with the whole Snape/love thing. However, what truly amazes me is how while making Snape fall in love you still keep him so very much in character. The Lucius/Draco scene was priceless. I think this truly puts into perspective what a slimy little git he really is(letting his own son fll from the sky just to make sure he escapes). I cant even begin to describe how enthralled you have me! If I could score this entire story on a 100 pt. scale you my friend would get a 200!!!!!!!!
(Is the fact that I was the first to review a sign that I check for updates too often?)