What can I say that I have not already said? Excellent description, excellent characterization, lovely tone - which I must note, I find much more fantastical than Jo's work, which I love. Something I found particularly strong in this chapter was the character interaction. Maeve & Remus, DD & McG, and Maeve & Snape. All nicely done, very IC, and just... brilliant. I especially loved the contrast between Maeve's interaction with Remus as opposed to Snape, and it goes well with how you've contrasted Remus and Snape's characters.
Remus was an altogether easier person to talk to. Surprise, surprise. Hehe. although I rather think he does it to please Dumbledore than for any benefit it gives to me.” No kidding. Perfectly Remus, though, to be so tactful. Sherbet lemons, I know there are some in here; I just can’t locate them.” *chuckle*. Good humor. Humor is always nice to have.
Instead of the hatred being spread evenly around it was now directed at one man. An interesting observation; it could very well be something we see in HBP, too.
I could have killed him because Sirius decided to be stupid. - I don't feel that this is the way Remus would have put it, factoring in Sirius' passing and all. I think he might have used a more delicate word choice. 'Made a foolish decision', perhaps? Just something less...harsh.
“I have to register my strongest disapproval at this whole plan. : awesome IC dialogue for McG.“It nearly killed me and it could have killed others Oooh. I love it and I hate it - referring to Remus as 'it'. Very well done.
Mrs. Norris not herself? Hmmm.
Another excellent chapter, and things are moving more quickly. Again: great job!
Oooh, nice! I'm definitely beginning to understand all the hype - each chapter is pulling me further into this story (and I'm only three chapters in!) There is just something about the plot and tone that enchants and intrigues.
You definitely have a gift for description - you describe your settings and your characters brilliantly, and create very strong imagery. It helps set the tone and paint the picture for your reader - I don't think I've seen a fan fiction with such attention to detail, nor have I seen anything described so beautifully. I especially loved the opening chapter and the description of the cliffs, and later I felt as if I was seeing Hogwarts for the first time.
Nitpicks: In the fourth paragraph, you're missing a period between the 'viewing' and 'Fortunately'. In the same paragraph, you've capitalized 'thestral', which should be lowercase as it is not a proper noun. Later, when Maeve surveys the view from her room: the sweet earthy, scent of the trees - the comma needs to be placed before earthy, not after.
Your characterization of Dumbledore is uncanny, his words just flow wonderfully. You've managed not only to show more of Snape's familiar traits and attitudes in this chapter, but you've also dived further into the parts of him which with we are not yet acquainted. We get hints of his background, yet he remains mysterious - all the while, everything fits nicely canon. ('Fools who were there hearts on their sleeves' much?). I must confess I found Snape perfect in this chapter. Also, we have the introduction of Lupin - brief, but well done and nicely IC. I can't wait to see more familiar faces. And while we're discussing characters - I think I completely forgot that Maeve is an OC; she seems to fit in wonderfully with Jo's world. I enjoyed her interaction with Snape (as well as Bran's interaction with Snape...)
... the Irish Lord had sailed his boats out by the light of their burning bodies Powerful line! And I can't help but wonder if this story is a disturbing tale to catch the reader's attention and set the tone, or if there's more to it.
“Rather an occasional optimist than a perennial pessimist, Severus,” - hehe, I loved this line - and so Remus, too! It offers sufficient stimulation Another enjoyable line, equally well suited to it's speaker.
Great job, I will continue :)
I guess that this must have been a difficult chapter to write, as you had so much important information to impart. Despite this, I think you still managed to make it interesting and well paced, and certainly little touches like Maeve's anger with her father, and Harry shaking Lugh's hand kept me as entraced as ever. Particularly touching was Maeve's realisation of the conspiracy to prevent her from bearing a child and her consequent pain and regret. I also very much enjoyed the second segment of the chapter - especially Elsie's short-sighted friend finding Severus attractive!
The ending to this chapter was fantastic...the exchange between Maeve and Severus just brilliant. I also like how this chapter flowed...there was a lot of information but it was put together very smoothly. Only this one small thing: Remus had a large leather bag in his hand and unlike her pristine one this was battered and well used. This sentence struck me as akward...I think maybe a comma after 'one', and 'this' could be changed to 'his'. Other than that...good as usual.
I discovered your story a couple of days ago. I think it is wonderful! I've had a great time reading it. I can't wait for the next chapter. Thanks so much!
Author's Response: Hi, Jenn and welcome to the world of HPDL...next time I'm going to come up with a shorter title! Glad you are enjoying the fic...there is only one more chapter to go and an epilogue so you are one of the lucky ones who didn't have to wait ages for updates. :-) Thanks for the review!
In the words of Maeve: “How very epic that sounds.” I've been thinking about this fic quite a bit during my dreary and dismal hours of staring at the clock these past few days (exam week) and something has occurred to me. I have followed this story since the creation of the Mugglenet Fanfiction site. I remember it very clearly: there was an announcement on Mugglenet that their fanfiction site had opened and to please visit. I did and went first to 'General Fics' and found the first three chapters of HP&DoL. I remember now that I think on it, that I couldn't possibly see how anyone could write a convincing romance story involving Severus Snape, which is why I did not join for a while or review. In fact, I joined so I could review to this story and this story alone. Except that this is much more than a story, and you have pulled off the romance in such a way that I have a mental world of Harry Potter devoted to JK, and one to you. I cannot imagine how my perceptions of HP would have been changed, and of the seemingly hopeless people like Severus (I cannot believe I used his first name, but that is who he has become to me) had I not read your work. I considered telling you this when you posted your final chapter, which I fear will be a bittersweet triumph, but felt you might do with some encouragement in the meantime. I always have trouble finishing a work I've spent countless hours and many weeks (or months in your case) working on. And so, for the first time I will not ask you to update soon, though I do look forward to reading the conclusion of this "epic". Good luck to you and thank you for so wonderful a story, which I believe means much more to us, your loyal readers. Keep writing. Brilliant chapter. 10.
Author's Response: Thank you so very much for your kind words. :-) It is indeed a bittersweet moment letting go of HPDL and I have just finished the last chapter and am reluctant to post it, knowing that it will be the last... apart from the reprieve of the epilogue. I am so glad I was able to convincingly pull of the transformation of 'grumpy, hopelessly awful' Severus into 'grumpy, not quite so nasty when he chooses not to be' Severus. It was the one challenge I really set myself and I'm pleased it has worked. I'm collecting ideas for the epilogue now and it's going to be a nice respite from the heavy going final chapters of HPDL, which took a lot to write emotionally speaking. I'm immensely flattered that you thought enough of the story to regsiter an account and I am continually flattered that people brave the temperamental log in problems to leave me a review...Thank you.
Whee! I told you I'd get over here for a review, eventually! So, I really like the changes you made. Lugh seems much more godlike and less fallible. I like the new description of what really happened between Midir and Voldemort. On the whole, that segment is much clearer. I like the bit with Harry shaking his hand. It suddenly occurs to me that in this scenario, Lily and Petunia had the same mother but different fathers. Lily being the daughter of a god would certainly cause strife between the siblings. I'm not sure if that's an angle that ever occured to you, but you know my fascination with Petunia's motives ;)
I think the trouble with the chapter is that it is mostly expository, so it is a bit slow. I think that with as important as the gods have become to the plot that we should have learned more about them throughout the story. We learn a bit about Lugh, but he isn't the only god involved. Also, the mythology is very new to most of your readers, so we don't have the background information on the names that you toss out in this chapter. I hope that in the sequel, you explore the mythology more.
Maeve's visit to Alice was beautiful. That Alice has a moment of clarity and comfort to understand that her son is being cared for is wonderful. You've really brought her into the spotlight. I hope that you let us see some resolution in her condition, even if it is just giving her the blessing of death.
With a lot of your loose threads tied up and explained, I'm looking forward to the next chapter! And darn it I want to know what has happened with Lupin!
Author's Response: Thanks, MJ! I've thought about the issue with the gods and the sudden off loading of information in this chapter and I do agree that there could be more in earlier chapters. I think perhaps I need to have created a situation earlier on were more information was given out. That's part of the problem of working out the details as you go. :-) Next chapter is finished and will be on its way soon but you are going to have to wait a bit longer for Remus. I'm working through Alice's situation in my head but you know, sometimes these things aren't resolved. At the moment I can't think of a convincing way to either let her die or bring her back to life.
Great chapter! i thought you did lugh really well, he came across as very godlike and haughty. Poor maeve and Harry, there lives don't get any better!! But at least they get some time off now, can't wait to read the wedding scene.
Author's Response: Well you won't have to wait too long, it's being written at the moment!
I love Maeve and Snape! Wonderfully written tension and chemistry between them...I want to know about their past relationship...
Author's Response: You'll get to know a little throughout the story...but I might just wirie a small fic about their first meeting and their growing relationship.
Where to start?!?!? This story has been absolutely captivating from the beginning and i still want more.(though I must say that I am dying to know the end!) I do not know how to further compliment you other than to say you, dear, are a true rarity in your field. Not many people could hold my attention for such and expansive amount of time as yourself! Thank you and once agaon very well written! Perfect 10!!
Author's Response: I hope the final chapter doesn't dissapoint! It's all about tying up a few loose ends and leaving a few dangling for the sequel. They will be settling back down to school life in the hope that Voldemort is going to lie low for a while after Abbeylara. I hope to have this chapter done by the end of the week and I will be trying desperately to get the epilogue done before I go away on holiday! Fingers crossed. :-)
Very interesting! I feel sorry for Lugh, as you wrote none of it is his fault. At the same time, why must the immortals always speak in riddles and prophecies when there is plenty of time, and not give the facts until it's absolutely necessairy? Your Harry is growing in the space you're giving him, good to see. Maeve's visit to Alice was touching and I can just picture Mrs Longbottom's reaction when Alice stops giving Neville the gum wrappers. I'm still bemused with myself that I actually LIKE the relationship between Maeve and Severus, although he might be a "miserable ball of nastiness". :) They do compliment each other and I enjoy how you so expertly write the emotions flowing between them. Your promise of a sequel makes me very happy, can't think of a story I would like more of than this one. But before that, I'm looking forward to the end of "The Daughter of Light" (it felt ever so strange to write that, but it's true).
Author's Response: It feels ever so strange to be writing the final chapter! I'm about halfway done now and there really is a sense of the whole story winding down. It scares me just how much Severus and Maeve compliment each other... it shouldn't work but it does! I'm glad you felt that Lugh was a little bit of a sympathetic character here. I didn't want him to be too connected with them but she is his daughter and he had to feel something, despite his godly demeanour. I also think it's nice to know that even gods get frustrated too!
I'm eagerly awaiting an update to this amazing story! I hope to see one soon, I really love how you kept all the characters from being one dimensional, youve especially done a great job with Severus. Great work!
Author's Response: Thanks Kerian! Severus has been the character I've most enjoyed, he's fun in his own grumpy way! And it is certainly a challenge to write such a dour character in love....LOL
And I'm also copying other reviewers by starting my sentences the same way. lol
Author's Response: LOL! Thanks for reviewing.
Just wanted to let you know that I am still reading and still loving every word. The plot has developed so much and the characters are still so wonderful. Great job!
Just wanted to let you know that I am still thoroughly enjoying this story! You truly have a gift for writing.
Author's Response: Thanks, Sparks! Glad you're still reading. :-)
I haven't read anything in a long time that captures me like this story does so far. You are an excellent storyteller, and I applaud your efforts...the first paragraph of this chapter was so vivid, I could actually picture it myself. And I loved Snape and the owl...quite funny. The conversation between Maeve and Sev at the end of the chapter was also well done. What a romance they must have had to still have lingering feelings after so many years! Good job, I'm really starting to enjoy this.
Author's Response: I'm so glad you have recognised the fact that they must have felt a great deal for each other in the past to still have such strong feelings now. I really must do something about writing some of their past. Thanks again for reviewing!
I love your writing style, its very expressive and, you have a riveting plot. Its my favourite story on Mugglenet :D It still beats me why Meave likes Severus,though? Please tell me lol.
Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing, Silver Secret! Why does maeve like Severus? I suppose she sees the good in him and she does love his sharp brain and sly humour... he may be a grumpy git but he's her grumpy git! LOL
I thought you did well with describing the past, and Severus' affections for Maeve...and as before, you write very descriptively, and are very creative. I can't wait to see where this goes. The only thing technically that I noticed is that you need a period at the end of your opening paragraph. :)
Author's Response: Someone stole my punctuation!! LOL Thanks for pointing that out and thanks for the review! :-)
Great story, plot and you're very expressive with writing the descriptions. But I do hope that you update soon
Author's Response: Thanks for taking the time to review! Glad you are enjoying the story. :-)
I'm repeating myself but this was yet another great chapter and another cliffhanger! Who has come to explain it all?? I can feel this story coming to an end and I don't want it to!
Author's Response: Thanks for the review!