A lovely chapter with some very funny moments, Ginny's attitude to Voldemort, Go Gin-Gin! My dear and beloved Fred and George are thriving and as sneaky as ever, wah-hey! You're doing great so keep it up.
N.B Good Luck with your GCSE's, i remember mine like they were yesterday (they were only four years ago so they practically were yesterday) and i hated every stinking one of them. Watch out for the biology paper, it's all about trees!
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm so plesed you liked it - fluff etc. isn't really my thing but I thought this chappie would help to break the tension a bit.
Thanks for the luck and I had my last exam today! *Doing celebratory dance* It was Physics which, thankfully, was really easy and the rest have gone ok too. Oh, and the Biology paper wasn't about trees, it was about cheese! The question was about curds and whey and the MMR vaccine. Oh well... (Yes, I am being serious, lol)
Am I the first one to send you another review for a chapter? You went a bit too far on the kisses. Make more hugs and less kisses. They aren't married yet so they shouldn't be kissing on every second of the day. Make them hug more, beause that, to me, shows better love. The kiss on christmas with Harry and Ginny was great, because it announced their love, truthfully. On a date, make them kiss once and hug more often. Kisses will get boring if they are always used in it. I too am writing romance in my story, but I'm careful to make them kiss on the right time, like when the boy or girl is feeling unhappy about something and his/her companion is attempting to cheer him/her up. Thats when I use kisses and only ONE, or two. Holding Hand=OK Kissing=Depend when it is used Hugging=Great, do it more often. I'll give you a 9.
Author's Response: Thanks for your comments and I know that my romance writing isn't exactly my strong point! I've reedited the chapter so there is no kissing at all - they've been replaced with hugs! I'll add kissing at the end of the story instead :) Thanks for the suggestions though.
Ok, about the romance, I'm going to give you a piece of a late chapter of mine that some romance in it. Tulip looked at James, smiling. “Will this make you feel better?” She asked and gave him a kiss on the cheeks. James looked at her, smiling sadly. He immediately pulled her into a big hug. “I love you Tulip.” My point is you should cool it with the kisses. Make for hugs. It'll get boring if its only kisses. When you have a love scene, you should have them talking over some tea or Butterbeer in Madam Puddifoots or The Three Broomsticks. At one point, and one point only, they can have a little kissing scene, like the one in Harry Potter 5. Another quote from one of my later chapters is this: “She actually said she admires me for my bravery,” James said, grinning. “Did she,” Arnold said, uninterestedly. “Did she tell you in person or to her friends?” Michael asked his voice going a bit crackly as it was near sundown. “To her friends,” James said, looking down. “I can tell you’re going to win her then,” Philip said, grinning. “A girl admires you and you like her, you’ve got a high chance.” There, James found out thre girl he likes actually admires him for his endless pranks, so later on, James impressed her with some. She was happy and gave him ONE kiss, the rest are hugs. They aren't married yet so they shouldn't go as far as kissing every second of the day. Put a bit more hugs, it'll feel better. Save kisses for more romantic parts. By the way, I'll give you a 9 this time, but work harder on the romance scenes, I'm a big Harry/Ginny and Ron/Hermione fan, (too bad only one of them is true in my FF.
Author's Response: I think there were only two kisses in the entire chapter but they've been edited out now - I'll add some more romance in my book 7. Thanks for the example and I'm sorry you didn't find walking to a secluded spot of Hogsmeade romantic! I'll try and improve the romance as I know that's my main weakness with this story :)
Great chapter once again! Keep up the excellent work and update soon pretty please.~~Kat
Author's Response: Thanks! And I update as soon as the previous chapter get accepted!
Another great chapter! Best to keep us guessing, makes us come back for more. Another 10!~~Kat
Author's Response: I'll keep you guessing for a while yet :)
So I was right, Snape does have a hint of respect for Harry. I hope he'll stay on the side of the light, he put too much of his life in the war effort to just become dark. What else... the next chapter will be the Hogsmeade day, right? Get Harry to talk about his problems, keeping it in isn't doing any good. That's it for now... Love the Legilimency conversation... Keep up the great work! We don't care about quantity, we want quality! Which you provide.
Author's Response: Thanks for the great review! And the next chapter isn't that long either but I hope you'll like it. PS: the next chappie's called 'Hogsmeade', so good guess!
Once again, a very nice chapter. I can hardy wait for more :).
Author's Response: Thank you! And I've just done my maths exam so I'll be updating now. Sorry about the delay.
wow!! that was an awsome chapter. i love this story sooo much, i want to marry it!!!!! please update asap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Author's Response: Lol! And I'll update in the next couple of days - I'm struggling a bit with writing as I've got to try and negociate exams, writing, riding my horse and going church bellringing... Same there aren't 26 hours in a day... Anyway, I hope I'll get a chance to update soon!
Come on, would Harry really want Snape dead? Snape is one of my favorite teachers and I'm happy Voldemort doesn't believe Lucius. Will we find out about Snape in the next chapter then?
Author's Response: Well, Harry was angry with him but no, he doesn't really want Snape dead - it was more just saying it out of anger; he didn't really mean it. He was just repeating what Ron said earlier when he was joking with Harry. And what do you mean by find out about Snape in the next chapter? Which side he's on? If that's what you mean then the answer's no, sorry.
Very, very goood! Who cares if it wasn't a long chapter, it's quality not quantity that counts and you've got bucketfuls of quality. Ginny is just so sweet in this chapter and i love Harry's struggle with Snape, it's keeping me on the edge of my seat!
Author's Response: Thanks! And I'm pleased you like what I've done so far and there's going to be some more cliffies coming up.
Yay, first to review, that was bloody brilliant, dear old snape is gonna have it from the dark lord...Cant wait for the next chapter, please update asap.
Author's Response: Lol, I'm pleased you liked it! Updates will come asap but I've got my AS maths exam on Monday morning and I've really gotta start doing some revision :(
Wow that was amazing! I can't wait for your next chapter. You are garunteed that I like this story so much because I read all 14 chapters all in one day! :) Keep writing, waiting for more!
Author's Response: Chapter 15 is up and I'll add chapter 16 as soon as I get my maths revision under some form of control :(
sorry one more thing, you said something about him feeling fear and it sounded like the first time he felt fear but wouldn't he be scared of Voldemort all the time?
Author's Response: Right then, Snape feeling fear...
To be perfectly honest, Snape's a really good Occlumens, better than Voldemort is, so he's never really had any reason to worry about LV finding out about his betrayal. Now though, Snape's finding that he's cracking a bit under the pressure since Voldemort's just told him to find out the identity of the spy. Snape now has a hell of a problem because he either has to lie and blame someone else, admit it's him, or keep saying he doesn't know, making LV annoyed.
I don't really want to say too much more as I explain this better in later chapters and the sequel. i hope that's cleared it up a little bit more though ~Stormy x
I think Snape is working for Dumbledore, even though he's harsh on Harry. I mean, he;s had a hard life, so whadyou expect? Not mention Harry's father was a really bad bully. Anyways, good chapter! Nice twist to it...
Author's Response: Thank you! and I'm pleased you liked the twist as well.
I think you're doing wonderful at your first shot at romance! My first 4 or 5 shots were not nearly as good as yours. You see, you don't make it too obvious that there's something's going on. It's not like rubbing into their faces "oh yeah they're going out, they love eachother" but its subtle and more realistic that way. Good job!
Author's Response: Yay! I'm happy that you liked the romance, I was worried that it'd be rubbish and way too fluffy, or too vauge. Thanks!
Oh how devastating! 30 people! And it's Snape? But he was being nice at the start, and I thought he was doing work for Dumbledore... Omg, pooor pooor dear Harry. I love him so much...
Author's Response: Er, is now a good time to point out this is fiction? Lol, and Snape's digging himself into a rather large hole at the moment. Don't worry though, Harry won't die in this book because there's a sequel coming :)
Harry seems happier in this one in the beggining of this one. And Ron and Hermione are just so cute! Finally a happy tern in this story for one short period of time(not saying that I'm sick of angst either). Oh my, Snape?! I thought he was helping Dumbledore. Anyway, I have to read more. P.S. I just need to tell you that reading your fan fiction keeps me sane until book six comes out in 28 days! And it's just like reading the book! Great work!
Author's Response: NOO! Please don't say I'm the only thing keeping you sane, I'm not convinced I am all the time! :) Lol, I'm really pleased you think mine's like the real thing and there is plenty of Angst coming which I hope you'll enjoy.
Oooh I got to start writing a grand big review that I'm going to submit at the end of reading all of this (or when I'm partway and need an eye break). Right now I'm in the middle of chapter seven, and it Ron and Hermione say that they've got to go to the great hall since they're prefects. I do recall that before, they were trying to get into the common room and I beleive at least Ron was there and they didn't know the passwords (because they apparently took a quicker route and beat the prefects and the first years), how could that be? But anyhow, that's a very minor mistake (which I make millions of, unlike you that I've noticed). And I need to mention how much I LOVE LOVE LOVE your lovely fan fiction! It's angsty, and that's what I love. I love everything else you've done as well. It's not cliché, grammar and spelling are flawless (of what I read) and you made me CRY. (During the time which Harry was screaming in pain when he was being posessed, that was SO sad!) Anyhow, back to reading. - I love how Ron guessed the password to Dumbledore's office! - I really love all the spells you've made up from latin words! I'm so sorry that you don't get as much reviews as you want, but hopefully this will make up for some of it. I don't understand why you don't get as much reviews though, your story is amazing! P.S. Rating of 10 from me, and you're on my faves list!
Author's Response: Yay! New Reader AND a long review! Sorry, I'll get to the point... The bit about R/Hr being prefects; they are still prefects but they stayed with Harry on the Hogwarts Express rather than going to the meeting, so they didn't know what the password was. Sorry if that bit didn't tie up to well but I hope that clears that up a bit...
I'm so pleased you don't think it's cliché and that grammar/spelling etc. are ok. I'm glad you like the Latin too. Thanks for the 10 and the encouragement! I'd rather have 1 review like this than 100 which just say 'good story' or something :)
Good chapter about Snape. I can't guess where his loyalties are although for reasons JKR hasn't explained, DD trusts Snape. Looking forward to the next chapter. I checked out Horton Tower. Interesting structure. That web site shows a lot of these "Folly" structures in Great Brittain.
Author's Response: Thanks! And I only chose Horton Tower because I've always thought it was a bit creepy when I've been past it - it used to give me nightmares!
I dont blame snape for what he had done. I thnk Dumbledor is being totally selfish, usuing snape to get information. Anyway, anothe great chapter, cant wait fofr the next one.
Author's Response: I'm pleased you're seeing things from Snape's perspective and I'm glad you liked the chpater. The next one should be coming soon!