Reviews For Torn
Reviewer: rgfawkes
Date: 01/10/07 21:55
Chapter: N/A

Lovely. You played the house stereotypes with Marian, a Slytherin, following the pureblood thinking and feeling, and while she gives in and helps at the end she still does it in the smirking Slytherin way. I loved how Dennis was pacing too. A very believeable thing for him, and other Gryffindors for that matter, to do.

My only critique is that you need to develop more flavor to your writing. It is nice and correct but it lacks a flavor to separate it from the countless others on here. It needs something more to it to make it memorable and to make the reader wanna check out your other stuff. Similies, a certain brand of humor, metaphors of the less thought of sort, creative ways to give birth to imagery in the mind, all these things that add flavor and that I suggest looking into.

A good read nonetheless though.

Reviewer: DogLover4Life
Date: 01/06/07 18:49
Chapter: N/A

This deserves a review so I'm going to read and review *scrolls up*

Whoa, that was deep. Okay I just had the image of a blond surfer saying that.

Anyway I love how you had her internal conflict. Dennis Creevey is so brave. Even though you had Marian go against her fathersí wishes she still had that Slytherin feel about her. I love that you kept that alive. I hope all goes well for those kids.

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Severus's Prince by DestinyMoonStar Professors
What does Severus Snape do when a one night stand turns into a baby boy? ...
The Youngest Death Eaters: Year III by DestinyMoonStar 6th-7th Years
Year 3 A year of hard choices and tough talks: Destiny learns about...
Allegiance by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 6th-7th Years
During his final year at Hogwarts, Draco Malfoy had few illusions about where...
FEATURED
The Pretender by littlebird Professors
She feels the familiar pang of disappointment that they've never been better...
A Light in the Gap by WeasleyMom 3rd-5th Years
When Harry woke that first morning in Grimmauld Place, he wondered if Ron and...
Tapestry by Equinox Chick 1st-2nd Years
As Walburga Black stitches, Sirius rebels. Two poems written about the infamous...
The Weird Sisters - B-Sides and Rarities, Vol. 2 by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 1st-2nd Years
The Weird Sisters are back for an encore. Ten more tracks from your MNFF authors.
CATEGORIES