Reviews For Remus' Promise
Reviewer: Masked One
Date: 04/01/05 23:06
Chapter: Remus' Promise

The balance of this story was very nice, with plot, emotions, and a bit of cynicism to balance it out. Your writing displays your point very nicely, being practical without seeming cold. It is a very nice backdrop to the story, with just the right amount of description.

Of course in this story emotions need to be discussed: Lily’s fear as a mother, Remus’s jealousy when he feels like a third wheel, his guilt at his forced betrayal later, Harry’s optimism, Mrs. Figgs’s interest. Those were, for the most part, subtly and powerfully shown. My first con-crit is about Remus’s jealousy-- it seemed slightly blatant when compared to the more subtle explanations later on. I would suggest toning it down slightly, showing it more in words and actions and less in his thoughts.

Harry’s ability to give Remus new hope could be considered borderline cliché. I enjoyed it, but it is skirting very close to the perfect!Harry that many people hate. Be careful about that.

Onto the plot, then. Lily’s forcing Remus into making that promise spoke a lot towards her fear for her child and her resignation that whatever happened wasn’t likely to be good. The way the two conversed also showed them to be who they were; the serious ones in a group of pranksters.

Harry’s life at Privet drive seemed slightly off to me, but I’m rarely happy with what I see set there in his pre-Hogwarts days. However, his emotions were very well done. I commend you for that. And I think that’s enough for you to think about, so, good story and I’m finally done with this review.

Author's Response: Wow! That was quite a review. Thanks heaps for that... always good to hear back, specially the con-crit :)

Reviewer: Elizabeth
Date: 03/24/05 17:48
Chapter: Remus' Promise

I have not read it yet but i am printing it off as i type and will reveiw ASAP bye! cant wait to read it!

Reviewer: Kerian
Date: 03/24/05 14:37
Chapter: Remus' Promise

Aww I've always felt bad for Remus, because James and Sirius were so close! Great one shot! I hope you write an actual story!

Reviewer: Sidnie
Date: 03/23/05 18:10
Chapter: Remus' Promise

I enjoyed that very much. It was well thought, and I /really/ like the idea of it. Great job! ^^

Reviewer: Kelsid
Date: 03/22/05 14:47
Chapter: Remus' Promise

Very good! Keep writing, this one shot was very well done.

Reviewer: Dan_D_Lion
Date: 03/21/05 18:23
Chapter: Remus' Promise

So cute. Aww. That was a good one shot. You shouldn't end there though... Oh well. Hope you make other ones! :~) 10

Author's Response: Thanks Dan_D_Lion :) Unfortunately,I've never had the perseverance to write whole stories....

Reviewer: Flgirl4life
Date: 03/21/05 8:42
Chapter: Remus' Promise

Sorry, spelling errors on the last review! I ment to say a "whole fic on". Sorry again

Reviewer: Flgirl4life
Date: 03/21/05 8:40
Chapter: Remus' Promise

I love one-shots! I was thinking of doing a who fic oh one shots (hard to explain)! I really loved this one! Make more if u can! Look for mine coming also. Its Spring break so i have some free time!

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm a fan of one-shots too, so I'll be sure to keep an eye out for yours :-)

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Epithalamium by Squibstress Professors
Minerva McGonagall is a bright, talented witch with dreams of becoming the first...
The Apothecary and the Bane by Icarus Unbound 1st-2nd Years
The apothecary receives a visitor in the wizarding slums of London.
M.I.T.: Entente Cordiale by Northumbrian 6th-7th Years
A strange and seemingly inexplicable death in London's West End brings an unlikely...
FEATURED
Twilit Confessions by ahattab33 3rd-5th Years
After returning from Australia with the Grangers, Ron realises the moment to...
Soul Sister by hestiajones 1st-2nd Years
Ted and Andromeda have just eloped. So, they dance. A songfic featuring...
Time and Tide by minnabird 6th-7th Years
Filius has seen her all his life: the Woman. She has been drifting through time...
Footprints in the Sand by Equinox Chick 6th-7th Years
It was a summer like any other for Danny. He worked at his parents' Bed and...
Consolation by Gmariam 3rd-5th Years
For years, Remus Lupin found comfort in the arms of Rosmerta Richardson...until...
Dangerous Liaisons by eternalangel 6th-7th Years
It was a dangerous game she was playing; Dorcas Meadowes knew it, but the exhilaration...
CATEGORIES