I definitely think Isabelle is in the right mind to understand. . . She's a smart girl, obviously. He's too insecure for his own good - (aren't we all?) - but I'm sure somewhere along the line things will turn out for the best.
Author's Response: There's always a silver lining . . .
Wow...your description at the beginning of the chapter with the letter, and Remus' room and everything...was just so VIVID. Good job! I'm intrigued with this story, you certainly deserved the featured fic title for sure. There isn't anything in this chapter that needs fixing. Is Richard gone from her life yet? What a zero, I swear. Does she have feelings for Remus yet?
Author's Response: Oh, thank you! I was hoping that those descriptions helped the chapter along a bit more, and I'm glad to find that they did. I don't think your the only one who wishes Richard to be gone from her life.
Thank you for taking the time to review!
I am dying to know who that man in the photo was. I am thinking maybe she has a relative afflicted with the curse, or old friend... Richard is a fluffy little playmate for sure, and I am so glad she asked Remus to the games, but my, it seemed hard for her to do. Is she just with Richard for physical reasons, or because it is easy, or because she is scared to look for something deeper? Is that why she is "unchained"? And how did she get into his kitchen? Are they doing something you aren't letting onto? Delightful chapter.
Author's Response: You will find out soon enough, hun! As for Richard, their relationship looks simple and easy, but it's complicated in some ways. There are many reasons as to what makes her unchained when she's without him and I hope that my writing helps you see how in later chapters.
Thank you for your kind words and wonderful review!
Congraduations of becoming a new moderator! Yay! *throws confetti*
Author's Response: Thank you!
He is a Marauder--of course he is flirtatious! She is a very interesting character, indeed.
Author's Response: You're just on a roll! Thank you for taking the time to review! It's so very much appreciated!
Again, I like the insight into Remus--imagining what it would be like to hunt for a job when one is a werewolf, very cool. Very neat way to end the chapter too, with his shocked realization!
Author's Response: Aw, thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Great chapter--I like it that he unnerved her slightly.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review!
Love the title of the chapter. I like how your Remus is darker and not quite so "prefect" as some others'. Sleeplessness can be torturous for some, but can inspire and ignite others, I think the latter applies to your characters. Am wondering about the references to an iceberg and the drinking water like an alcoholic....
Author's Response: I was skeptical of the title at first, I do admit, but I'm happy that I stuck with it, ultimately. I'm glad that Remus does come off as darker, because he's always been like that in my mind and I hoped that he would come off as so in my writing. Not that he's an angsty character, of course, but he has his troubles.
Thanks for the lovely review!
I think you capture the lonely feeling I always assume Remus has because of his curse, like being a bar, just wanting some company. I wonder if Isabelle will help him out, being an alchemist and such?
Author's Response: Hmm, will she? Isabelle might help him out of some things, but others remain more permanent and there's little she can do.
Thanks for taking the time to review! It's very much appreciated!
I really do like this story, and I know you like big words, but it feels like your trying to hard to put them in, instead of telling the story. They get in the way. That's just my opinion anyway. Great ideas, and great writing, but i do think that you need to use more imagery. R~7
Author's Response: I concur that I sometimes get carried away, but it's so natural for me to do it. I'll try and tone it down a bit and add more imagery as well. Otherwise, thanks for the review.
I agree wit Kerian Remus is TOO COOL
Author's Response: Hee, thanks for the review!
Oh dear. For the second time I am reduced to criticising minor things, it's dificult this constructive criticism lark. Oh well, minor: Didn't really understand what Isabelle meant by "stand up back up". I think the "like a bunch of second years" remark would fit an adult Education course, I had to think for a bit to realise what you meant, and it seemed too out of place almost. Lastly: I didn't really like her omitting werewolf twice, seemed a bit contrived. Could she just say ministry instead of -----Registry. I'd say how excellent it was, but it'd take too long.
Author's Response: Yes, it was silly of me at some points, but I have edited the chapter, and I hope it's a tad better to understand than before.
Thanks for the review!
Firstly I enjoyed it. You're strength (as ever) is your description of Remus' thoughts. However (as Vader said) you're physical descriptions aren't very detailed. Secondly, I'd doubt that many businesses would advertise "NO Werewolves" just seemed a bit to blatant to me, but I might be wrong. I also ummed and arred a bit over the "piece of work line" seemed slightly un-Remusish. But you're probably a better judge of Remus than I am.
Author's Response: LOL, thanks for the review! Yes, my physical descriptions need a bit of work, but I'm slowly getting there.
It comes to me as no surprise that this story ended up on the Featured list. I'd say some constructive crisitism, or *something*, but, in all honesty, I have none. Update soon!
Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much for the review!
Hmm Remus, you definetly cant pass up the chance to analyze her some more! And I love that Remus is having a love life! Poor werewolf!
Author's Response: Yes, the poor dear needs some loving. Thanks for the review!
i love it! im glad to see remus HAS a love life!
Author's Response: Thanks for the review!
Author's Response: Thank you!
Im reakky sorry for not reviewing on my first read imy mom was yelling at me to "get off the damn computer" i had been on for like 3 hours but ne way i snuck in you r story and am now here to tell you that I LOVED IT!! keep up the good work
Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing, even with the 'interference.' ;)
I continue to enjoy... Think you are doing a good job developing Isabelle's character (I love her name by the way; I think a good choice of name is important). Their gathering interest in each other is portrayed well, the chapter title is very apt. Good stuff!
Author's Response: Yes, I think a good name's important as well, and I'm glad you like it! Thank you for taking the time to review. It's greatly appreciated. : )
Wow, I just have to say, your writing is absolutely marvelous. You manage to tie your "big words" in without soudning utterly random or as though you are purposefully trying to add them in. I would only give you one criticism, and that is that several of your characters, namely Remus and Isabelle, tend to sound a bit too proper at times. I completely understand your wonderful use of advanced vocabulary in narrative writing, but when spoken by the characters, they all tend to start to sound slightly similar and pompous. Other than that, wonderful job sticking to the characters JK so diligently created, and I can only hope to become as amazing as you in my writing techniques. Perfect 10.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for this wonderful review! Yes, I do sometimes get a bit carried away with my vocabulary, and I'll try and harness it a bit as I move forward.
Gosh, I'm blushing. I hardly know what to say to such a kind review, except thanks again, and that it's very much appreciated!