The story had me wanting more
Oh yeah, baby, this is the chapter! I loved the description in this one. I think you open to it wonderfully in the summary, too. It was so memorable, the blistering image of her skin, that it drew me back through the chapters. Not that grinning about blistering skin and wanting to go back and rave about the realistic image in my head is really all that gross, or anything.
Claustrophobia, paranoia, and schizophrenia were tittering on the edge of Remus’s sanity and all at once, they surfaced. I am in adoration with this particular description of his mind, especially after the werewolf!remus came out and started attacking his mind. It works well with the meeting – for lack of better word – that you had between the two of them. I like the focus of this chapter. A lot. My choppy sentences betray my greed for another chapter just.like.this.one.
The transition from her insomnia to her being in the flaming tent - Isabelle tossed and turned, sweat surfacing through her pores and heat inflaming her skin. She felt as if she was being char broiled, and the person doing so was using a pair of tongs to flip her over. - is a little choppy, and it took me a little while to realise “oh wait, she’s burning alive after not remembering falling asleep”. But I loved the description of her burning alive >.> Again, not sadistic in any way, just in love with your description. I just… I love the metaphors and the intense feeling that in it. I can almost feel myself burning. So, maybe that second chapter isn’t a good idea?
Just kidding. More. More. More! You’ve made me into an enraged beast looking for more rare-pairs, specifically Isabelle, because I’m in love with her sarcasm and attitude and… boots.
Author's Response: You know, I believe my readers have made this chapter into one of my favorites, though it competes with its predecessor and follower. I'll agree that the transition was particularly rough, but when I was editing, I was debating if I should put a break in there. Maybe I should then.
LOL, you sound like a certain beta of mine . . . Anyway, I hope to have another chapter out in another week or so. Thank you for taking the time to review!
And so enters the mind of reader two years later. From remembering the previous read back in may of 2005, and now in January of 2007 it doesn’t seem all that long ago, but seems very long ago when I look at it as nearly two years.
Apart from the rambles that crossed my mind, I noticed, amongst anything, the language and the words that you use. I think that while a younger reader may not have really noticed the way different words can perceive different emotions, I realise now that in the [edited?] versions, it’s a lot more detailed to me, and conveys a lot more to me than a story of Remus falling in love. It shows us a bold, new character with a vivacious personality. She’s intelligent, witty and she withholds her emotions quote well – a fatal trait.
I like the interaction between the two characters. I love how vulnerable Remus is to her at the start, but as the chapters progress how he gets to know her and her attitudes. Though recently, he had acknowledged that he only had begun to scratch the exterior of her multifaceted persona. I like that she has mood swings and that she’s an irritable chain-smoker with a failed relationship. I like her radical boots and her gothic kitchen. I just love the depth that Isabelle has compared to most OC’s, and seeing her interact with Richard in this chapter made me realise that this story – this chapter in my mind especially as I don’t think I got further last time – could stand by itself with such a wonderful plot.
I find that the issues that you include in this chapter especially are less scandalous this time round. Then again, it could very well be because the chats have corrupted my innocent young mind, but it could also be that you’ve handled them in a very adult manner, with the wordiness that tells all and betrays nothing. Personally, I prefer to compliment you rather than admit you’ve seduced me >.>.
Author's Response: 'Personally, I prefer to compliment you rather than admit you’ve seduced me.'
How do you expect to respond to this more than awesome review without tissues by my side? I'm so happy that Isabelle comes off as a three-dimensional character, who's real and like you and me. That this story is not considered just a story of Remus falling in love or just introducing him to an OC and hooking him up. Thank you for the wonderfully kind words and this lovely review!
Ooh! i cant wait until the next chapter! this is brilliant
Author's Response: Thanks!
awww..this story is so good so far...i cant wait to read more...i just love the thought of remus lupin happy...he is so...i don'tknow..something about him tugs at my heart strings and i just feel for the character and when written well (in the case it is) i can't help but want to feel like he's real and comfort him myself :'( but anyways great job and i'll be waiting for more!! :)
shit, i had such a good review written when my computer suddenly decided to stop the internet for a few minutes. but, as i was saying before, i am so so glad you didn't give up on this story. this story and the unseemly proposal are the only stories that i read on this site and incidently you two take the longest to update! but you both definitely make it well worth the (very very very) torturous wait.
i really love how you personify remus, he is exactly how i thought he should be; from being able to cook to loving the rain, you have written him sublimely. i love the little details you add in also, like him being bad at hair-cutting charms. keep up , you are a really great author. *Chloe
Author's Response: Aw, computers can be so temperamental.
No, I have not given up this story. I've been having some RL issues, but have now come back. I'll try to update a bit more frequently.
Thank you for the wonderful compliments and for taking the time to review!
Okay, I’ve been a huge fan since I first started reading this story, and I think now’s a good time to leave a review. You’ve received my fangurl praise before, but formalities shouldn’t be ignored, no? ;)
I really must comment on how you’re building Isabelle’s character. There’s really something about her that makes her so endearing to readers, and I’m really glad that you gave us this new insight into her personality. I was just as surprised as Remus was when she had the new robes on, and when she laughed. Also, I have to thank you for giving Remus the happiness he deserves; who knew that he was the first person Isabelle ever went out with?
Then, of course, I must comment on your fabulous writing skills. Remus’s letter to Sirius was very nicely done. Actually, I thoroughly enjoyed reading all their letters throughout this story; their strong friendship really shines through. The conversation Remus and Isabelle shared in the fire was also very, very good. I love the dynamics between the two of them. Reading their more intimate conversations just warms my heart, and you can really tell that they have strong feelings for each other. The characterization is excellent, as always, and I found no hitch in the flow. Kudos to you!
Kay, m’dear, you have talent, and time and time again, you amaze me with your abilities. I still remain a very loyal fan, and no matter how long the next update will take, I’ll be waiting patiently. : ), Lei
Author's Response: Wow! What can I say to a review like that? I'm speechless. ::blush:: Isabelle is an amazing character to write, and I'm glad that the way I see has come across so well to my audience. I'm always worried that my writing of her doesn't do her justice. I really wanted to show a side to her that most don't see, and that part of the chapter just flowed so naturally. I originally had not planned that scene between her and Remus in the fire, but it just sorta cropped up. I'm very happy that you enjoyed it! Thank you for the compliments and taking the time to review!
you're back! i though you were gone forever. i'm glad you're not though, because this was one hell of a chapter. i loved it! i love the side of isabelle that no one sees, she's like a big puzzle that Remus cant help but want to solve. i love her last line too. That is pure genius! looking forward to the next chap!
Author's Response: Yes, I'm back. :) Thank you for taking the time to review!
I liked this chapter just as much as the others. It's nice to see how you've developed Isabelle..and how much more description there is in your writing since you began this story. The scene depicting Isabelle and her mother reminded me of times with my own mom; very realistic. :) Did you change her name half way through the chapter? Sometimes it's Adelaide and sometimes Adele...Anyway, curious to see if Richard is going to play anymore of a part in this story.
Author's Response: Yes, there's definitely a lot more description in my writing now than there was in the beginning. (Odd, because when I first started writing fan fiction long time ago, I was overly descriptive.)
I'm happy that the scene with Isabelle and her mum seemed realistic. That's definitely what I was going for. :)
Her name didn't change halfway through, I was just attempting to nickname Adelaide, and it didn't look right as "Adel'".
Richard may not be much in the picture now, but he'll be back.
Thank you for taking the time to review, as usual! It's greatly appreciated!
After seing some of the reviews, I'm a little confused. I suppose you took out eh "firesex" as one reader put it? Either way, i thoguth ti was very, very well written. For someone who never learnt grammer, there's close to no mistakes. Good story.
sorry, but just thought u might want to know- 'shoot' is most definately american- something more like 'go ahead' or 'fire away' would be more appropriate in this situation. hope that helps.
Author's Response: I try my best to keep the Americanisms to a low, so thank you for the tip.
wow that poem was gd. the language is gd too, u've put a lot of effort in to make it sound british. cant wait to read the rest!
Author's Response: Thanks for taking the time to review!
Great chapters so far!
Isabelle is a very intriguing character (beginning with her looks, her profession and especially her name!), and I really liked her, although there is still so much I don't know about her.
Anyway, I like her monologue and how you described the homes of the two.
And that parallel with Little Red Riding Hood? From a werewolf? I know you didn't go for the laughing effect, but it did make me laugh out.
Author's Response: It made me chuckle a bit too when I first wrote it, hee.
Thanks for the review!
o.o i did enjoy this one! excellent chapter, and you never cease to amaze me with your brilliant writing. also, on a random note, i think adelaide is a perfect name for isabelle's mother. but great chapter, and i'm really glad you updated :) thanks for writing
Author's Response: Yes, I thought Adelaide fit Isabelle's mother well. :)
Thanks for the compliment and taking the time to review. :)
:) :O :P
Author's Response: :D
So many questions answered, yet so many introduced. I am relieved to know that indeed, she has a family member with the Curse. This explains so much as to how she felt about Remus and other bits of knowledge that she possessed (like how to brew his potion). I am curious as to whether the brother is still alive. I am thinking he isn't, as 16 years is quite a long period of time to go between visits. But then again, he IS a wereworld.
Richard! Who could forget him? Me for one! Poor Richard, I hope, has been supplanted by Remus in her heart. You've portrayed a complicated mother-daughter relationship very well. I thought it was quite insightful that her mother just wants her daughter to be happy and will love her, even though she is acting a bit like a stinker, in my humble opinion. Richard is the one thing that Mum knows about her personal life, so she falls back on that when inquiring about her happiness. Glad to see the update!
Author's Response: Yes, many questions answered just by that one fact alone. I had been waiting to introduce the brother's affliction properly, and this chapter gave me that opportunity.
Richard's not exactly someone most people want to remember, heh heh.
I'm glad that Adelaide and Isabelle's relationship came through like it did, because really, it is complicated between them. I had, most always, a good relationship with my own mother, so portraying their relationship, I had to take a bit from my own observations of others and their parents and, of course, my imagination.
As always, thank you for taking the time to review. It's very appreciated. :)
Goodness, can it be true? At last! An update! I hardly remembered this story--I just went back and reread. I'm such an awful first commenter... I have nothing to say except yet another good chapter! You will never cease to amaze me, you write so well.
Author's Response: Thank for taking the time to review! It's appreciated, no matter how much you think you're an 'awful first commenter.' ;)
sorry lycanthropist, but where le hell have you been? its been almost 4 months man!
Great Story keep up the good work.