MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: lalaprincess (Signed) · Date: 11/18/04 17:01 · For: Hermione's Trip
really great! keep writing!

Name: Rhinodome (Signed) · Date: 11/18/04 3:16 · For: A Leather Book
Haha well now that was better than going to the library for some reason I did not even think of that option. Good job. Of course now their semi secret place is not secret but he got what he needed by thinking of it. ;)

Name: Lishkish (Signed) · Date: 11/17/04 21:48 · For: Return Owl
Great job!!

Name: Rhinodome (Signed) · Date: 11/17/04 21:38 · For: Hermione's Trip
A good part 2. It covered the main action of the search. So she knows part of the secret now how long until she figures the rest out. Or Harry goes to the library and looks in the restricted section himself, we know he is not shy about it. :)

Name: Rhinodome (Signed) · Date: 11/17/04 20:18 · For: The Dream
Hermione the trouble maker always doing something. haha A new little plot twist lets see what comes out of it. Can he come back out he the veil? On to the next chapter.

Author's Response: Ah, good question! All I can say, is that it will be answered in the next chapter.

Name: Rhinodome (Signed) · Date: 11/17/04 19:30 · For: Alternative Occlumency
I don't think I can respond to your response so I will give you another review since it is on the same topic. I looked at it again still a good chapter. It seems to me that emotions are a big part of the 2 versions. The easier one for Harry is the one that involves caring for who is looking and not wanting to hurt others. The other way is all force and not caring for who is trying to see. That is more or less what I was thinking. Anyway on to the next chapter to see where the story goes.

Name: kime (Signed) · Date: 11/16/04 16:03 · For: Alternative Occlumency
Great chapters! There could be more detail, but I like what you have going here. Would add more, but I have to go to dance class....can't wait for the next chapter!

Name: Rhinodome (Signed) · Date: 11/15/04 21:43 · For: Alternative Occlumency
That was a good chapter. I like the little contest they had. More details could have been there but without making it a chapter by itself there were enough. Maybe I am getting mixed up with all this fan fiction but what is the difference with the kind Snape was teaching him and this style? Besides this one being easier. Is anger a key for the more advanced version? Maybe I just missed the meaning in something you wrote but I did not see the difference.

Author's Response: I must adimt, I love your detication. The part that explained this was quite short but there. There were actually two reasons it was easer with Lupin; One, is that Harry was not mad at Lypin. He didn't care nearly as much if he was reading his thoughts. Two, is that there were many memories Harry didn't want to bother Lupin with (Note the one with Lupin trasforming.) Harrywanted him not to see it out of caring, rather than anger. As we all know, Harry's greatest streght his love, and of course this could not be used with Snape. Thanx for all the reviews!!!!!!!

Name: Rhinodome (Signed) · Date: 11/14/04 17:29 · For: The Familiar Castle
A nice chapter good enough descriptions of the weather and such. Since I have mentioned there being mistakes before I will just say one this time. You have "kept his and on the knot the entire time" that is not in quotes in the story but it should be hand not and. If you don't want me to point out wording, spelling mistakes let me know. So far the story is good I enjoyed reading the 4 chapters and will have this in favorites waiting for the rest. :)

Name: Rhinodome (Signed) · Date: 11/14/04 16:50 · For: The Order's Meeting
Well I thought this was a fun chapter. The only errors I saw in this chapter were from areas with quotes around them so they might not have even been errors since thoughts do not always come out perfect when talking. I do have a question about the Pensieve though. Once someone puts a thought in there it is still in their head right? The Pensieve just lets them relive it in a different form. Or is it like a library where the place is still there in their mind but the memory is out on loan. I don't remember if that was ever said in the books. If not then it is free to work with. :)

Name: Rhinodome (Signed) · Date: 11/14/04 16:32 · For: Birthday at Grimmauld
There are a few errors but not to many. Odds are if you read through it again you will be able to find and fix them, I would post where but I did not keep track of them. As a whole I thought this was a very good chapter as well. Lots of potential now we just have to see what comes out of it.

Name: Rhinodome (Signed) · Date: 11/14/04 16:08 · For: Return Owl
A solid start for a story. Test results and moving from the main house to the next one. Along with hints of things to come.

Name: kime (Signed) · Date: 11/14/04 12:02 · For: Birthday at Grimmauld
There are some typos and spelling errors throughout both chapters. You should read through each chapter carefully and make corrections. Also you used the wrong words when you clearly meant another. It's a good beginning and I can't wait for the next chapter....I'd like to see where it is going b/c although there aren't many original ideas to the story yet (it seems similar to a lot of things I have read lately), I think it has the potential to become unique and very interesting. More details too.

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