This chapter is so long that I'm going to leave reviews in sections or I'll never get around to reviewing at all! So its begining is great. I like seeing James at school again. The way he interacts with Sirius is well done. I chuckled over his behavior in Potions, for some reason it just really struck me as James-ish. Bravo. Expect another review on this chapter when I get around to the rest of it!
Author's Response: Thank you! Yes, I've a feeling he might have misbehaved in Sluggy's classes!
McGonagal's pov was certainly interesting! The wizarding world must really be at war, things are falling apart at the seems. I sort of felt a sense of hopelessness with her. All the people getting into the dark arts and she can't stop them, all the horrible things going on outside that she can't stop, James and Sirius with their never-ending trouble making! It was a really nice fresh perspective.
Author's Response: Thank you! I do love writing from her perspective, and I'm happy to hear you enjoyed it. And yes, their world and sense of order is rapidly crumbling, outside and inside the school walls.
Ah, I don't know if I trust this new guy yet. He seems too good to be true. And he almost seems to be coming on too quickly (I'm thinking Hamlet ) I'll have to wait and see...
Author's Response: I was thinking the same thing when I wrote the early chapters of Red - that it was a bit like "Hamlet". But I don't want to ruin anything, so you will just have to wait and see, I'm afraid. Thank you for your reviews; they are very much appreciated!
Mundungus was absolutely hilarious. The image of Dumbledore with the umbrella was funny too. One of those images that makes me wish I was a better artist so I could draw it. All around an interesting chapter. The Lily-at-the-lake part seemed a little over-dramatic to me, but that was the only thing that bothered me. 10/10!!!
Author's Response: Thank you! I loved writing Mundungus, and hope to feature him in the near future! I've never read a Marauder fic that features him as I had imagined, but when I put James on the Knight Bus in that chapter, suddenly Mundungus crept in and I thought - wow, I have to write him in! He's quite sneaky, but I suppose he steals to get by, and he provides a contrast to the people James has grown up with! As for Dumbledore with the umbrella - again, I didn't really plan that, it just sort of happened, and there he was, with the umbrella - it is raining, though... And the Lily-at-the-lake part was inspired by a poem by W.B. Yeats, and yes, I agree, it is a bit melodramatic, but so is the poem, so I put the Lily part in at the end of the chapter. It crops up again, so it wasn't entirely pointless, I hope!
Ah, yes, quite a sticky situation for James. Miserably sticky. Your descriptions are still lovely. I could really see the shattered wine glass and the sugar cubes. Hmmm...onward to the next chapter! PS...the third chapter of my own story is up, if you are interested in telling me what you think (smiles hopefully).
Author's Response: Yes, a very sticky situation. I just reviewed your Phedra Bagley story - which is a great name, by the way, and the writing is lovely! I can't wait for her to go to Hogwarts, and I wonder what part she'll play in the lives of the Marauders. Oh, and I had forgotten about the sugar cubes (I went back to check what you were talking about) - but now I know, I'm very glad you appreciated them!
First of all, I am a huge fan of the title of this chapter, "From Genisis to Revelations". Its great, its clever, and it fits the chapter perfectly. There were certainly a lot of revalations going on here! Some of the description is great, like when you said that James eye's "itched" (or something along those lines). Your writing is really detail-oriented, which is a good thing despite the previously mentioned wordiness. The colors in the description of the papers were great. I could really picture it. I got goosebumps, and not just because the room I'm sitting in is really cold. Bravo!!!
Author's Response: Thank you - I love The Clash, and they feature in the time period of this chapter, so I decided to put them in - and put in some lyrics that were relevant, of course! I'm delighted to hear that your enjoying it, and hope you tell me what you think of the next chapters - it gets more exciting, I think. Thanks again for the lovely review!
Ah, hmmm...lets see... I am actually rereading this story (sort of) because I started it, liked it (but never reviewed...sorry), lost it for a while, and am now intersted again. Just to explain the random review in what seems to be the middle of nowhere. Although you're probably more confused now. Ah, anyways! Its a great story. Your writing style is unique and your vocabulary beautifully large, although that can make the story seem a little bit wordy at times (which makes me start to skim...I have to mentally yank myself back). I really like the way you portray the purebloods' elitist society. Stuffy and whatnot. Uncle Lucius is certainly interesting. I suppose that the Malfoys and Potters are related somewhere (I just saw a pic. that JKR drew of the Black family tree on mugglenet, and it had the Longbottoms...so why not the Potters?) and it certainly would make things interesting for Harry and Draco, even though they aren't around yet. I'll try to keep up with my reading and re-reading! Lovely so far though!
Author's Response: I'm not too confused! Thank you for your lovely review though, and I'm really happy that you appreciate my writing style - you are right about it being a bit wordy sometimes, especially in the earlier chapters... oh well, I've cut down! And as for Uncle Lucius - I quite liked the idea, and I had never seen it anywhere else, so I thought I'd try it out! I really hope you enjoy the rest anyway, and let me know what you think!
I love this story! You're such a great author! *I hope flattery will get you to update more often :)* Are you ever gunna update Green? Maybe you already have and I just haven't checked yet. I would have guessed slughorn was your favourite to write:) you do him so well.
Author's Response: Yeah, Sluggy is definitely my favourite to write! Um, Green will have to wait. Sorry! It's just that there's a lot of stuff in Green that I'm going to change, so really I have to rewrite a lot of it, and I think I'll put in Slughorn as one of the primary characters... but honestly, I'm going to work on Red for the time being, as I have to mark out a plot and chain of events, so bear with me, so basically, Green is going to have a tremendous update! Hopefully the new Red chapter will be up soon, and thank you so much for your lovely review!
WOO HOO! Way to go Gryffs! I really loved the way that the fireworks were seen in the background, and I love that you use McGonagall to tell the stories from the teachers view. I liked Slughorn as a sore loser,and the way that all the teachers adore James. I cant wait to see what happens down at the lake! Is Lily there celebrating with the boys? This is gunna be loads of fun! Great job of adding more character development, I liked seeing McGonagall so proud of her house and the way that Albus relaxed the staff room. Well done! I really can't wait to see the lake party!!!
Author's Response: Wow - I'm really happy to hear you liked it! Thanks for your lovely review - glad you enjoyed everything in it. I loved writing Sluggy as the "sore loser," - he always seemed like the type - and I hope to get the next chapter up soon, as you're clearly looking forward to it!
I liked it a lot. You're taking your time, and you don't rush into action like so many others do, because people like more action. You take your time in building an atmosphere, you're careful not to let your characters half-finished... I really like it, it's not like a little story, it could be a book. Oh, and by the way, I was really impressed by your French. Only a tiny error of tense, similar to an error French do very often when they speak English. Otherwise I was impressed... and really pleased!!!
Author's Response: Merci! Je suis d'accord... "Red" est comme un livre, parce que je n'aime pas écrire l'histoire trop rapide, et j'aime bien écrire les personnages et le dialogue! Pour moi, l'ambience est trés important - "Red" arrive pendant la guerre; il y'a beaucoup de violence, et dans ce chapitre les profs voudraient l'éviter. Um, I hope that was... coherent! Anyway, thanks a million for your review. I'm really glad to hear you're enjoying it, and I hope you like the next chapitre!
Really loved it. The first fanfic I ever read (that was some time ago, though). Shame I didn't review sooner... I printed it and i read it over and over again in the subway and everything... Extremely interesting character, quite different form all the James Potters I came across too since. I'm eager to read your next chapter.
Author's Response: Wow - you should have reviewed sooner! I was so amazed by this review that I had to check your profile - you read it on the métro? C'est formidable - merci beaucoup, et j'espére que vous aimez le prochain chapitre!
(that was my French, and I hope it was ok!)
Hello my favorite author! As you know, I adore the story, and I was wondering if we could get an update soon! I was also curious if you'd have any new ideas for Green recently. Keep up the great work and I hope you update soon!
Author's Response: Yeah, I promise to update soon (and I'm not lying)! The next chapter will revolve around the Quidditch Cup Final and it's based in the staff room and by the lake - see, I already have it planned out - so you can expect it by next week, I think.
As for Green, I need to do some heavy editing - perhaps changing much of the story, so perhaps some things there should be ignored - but I'll do some more work on Red before I start changing things.
I hope you enjoy the next Red chapter!
I Just read your story up to date and i thought that i would leave you one big review rather than several, so please bear with me. First of all, I think that having several chapters about Mrs Potter was genius, but I personally dont like the direction that you have taken it ( the idea that Mr P was unfaithful and that Ms. P was distant from her son just goes against the grain as well as the "canon") Secondly i think that you may have draged out the funeral reception too long- I realize that it is important for james to realize Malfoy's evil, but i found myself wishing that James would just go back to school. I thought that the establishment of James and Lily's relationship was fresh and very beleiveable however, I think that you missed out on a good chance for romance, drama, comedy, or whatever in this scene. You gave lily the chance to hear anything from sirius and then have a reaction scene with James, but you didnt do anything with it. I think that bringing in Firenze is clever however not a good idea; you have so many more obscure or minor characters that you devote one or two chapters to that it detracts from the main characters. The reader doesn't really get an idea of who your Marauders are, or why they hate snape, ect. Finally, I like how you are subtlely yet not so subtlely building on James and Lily's relationship, but I find myself wondering why does she not hate him or at least why is she so civil to and enamored with him at the get go. Overall a refreshing new stance of the Marauders era. Mad props, Messr Padfoot
Author's Response: Thanks for such great feedback - I like knowing a reader's opinion!
Firstly, I am aware that the aftermath of the funeral took a long time to pan out, but really I didn't plan that; I just found it very interesting to create their world in more detail than what I had intended. I don't quite understand why you object so strongly to the relationships in the Potter family - there is nothing in the "canon" to contradict what I've written, and often I find the oh-so-perfect Potter family painted in Marauder-era fics annoying and unrealistic. I get why you'd think the ideas here are a bit far-fetched, but only in relation to other fics. The fics are not the canon, after all, and the only insight we get into James' family is that it was wealthy, and he was rather spoiled. I didn't mean to make the relationship "distant" in a cold sense, but James has been away at school for a large amount of time, and Mrs Potter is quite insecure, and would not want her son to grow away from her.
Secondly, I am aware that the aftermath of the funeral took a long time to pan out, but really I didn't plan that; I just found it very interesting to create their world in more detail than what I had intended.
Glad you liked the establishment of James and Lily's relationship - but I didn't want to start the romance there, and to be honest, I thought it was funny enough! I didn't elaborate on the fact that she had overheard them because she knew James was mortified and she, being a nice person, would not want to further that.
I'm using Firenze sparingly, so hopefully he won't take from other characters, I just thought it was interesting to write a centaur's view on things, especially as he, like us, knows the outcome of the story. The thing is, my main characters are not specifically the Marauders. The central one obviously is James, then McGonagal, and to a lesser degree Mrs Potter. I will focus on James' relationship with the other Marauders, but I won't be writing their view in this fic, so sorry if that's disappointing.
Lastly (and other readers have questioned it), Lily's behaviour towards James is based on the fact that this is currently taking place at least a year after the Snape-by-the-lake debacle. Granted, she seemed rather revolted by him then, but as with everyone, a year has matured them. He is no longer as viscious towards his peers, and she sees that. Also, she was impressed by the fact that he risked playing in the Final by going back to save Sirius from Filch's filthy clutches - showing him to be a very loyal friend. And as his father died recently, and she is described in the canon as having been a very good person, it would have made no sense to make her mean or rude.
Anyway, I know this was a really long response, but I just felt the need to explain myself! I'm happy that you're reading my fic, and hope you'll enjoy future chapters. It's unconventional, I know, so please don't expect certain things and end up disappointed.
Author's Response: P.S. By accident I repeated myself. Sorry!
I'm reading this in a very disjointed manner, as I tend to read books-- here I've started in the middle and I don't know everything that's going on, but I'm loving it regardless! :) I love your writing style and the way you portray James. James can seem such a contradiction at times and a lot of authors seem to have difficulty reconciling his bright ideals and his mischievous instincts. Your James has a very definite sense of self and he comes across as a complete and very human character-- and so does your Sirius, for that matter. I'm going to start at the beginning now and read this through. Very, very, very well done!
Author's Response: Thank you! Yeah, I agree, sometimes James' character can be confusing - even in the canon it's confusing! But I think here, readers understand what goes on in his head because a lot of the story is told from his point of view - and we all know that a person can appear very different to others, compared to their thoughts that show what they really are like on the inside. Glad you like Sirius too! I sincerely hope you like the rest of the fic - tell me your thoughts!
I really like your story a lot. You're so descriptive and you seem to have a nack for capturing the canon of JKR's characters that have already been set. I love how well you get into McGonagall's point of veiw and now, even Firenz. Whata great chapter! I can't wait for your next update!
Author's Response: Thank you, RoxyMarie! I've always felt the need to insert description here and there, particularly in that Firenze part, when I felt that it was getting to dialogue-y, so I'm glad you liked it! I find also that Firenze and McGonagall are two very interesting characters, but not a huge amount is known about them, so capturing the canon isn't too difficult (whearas I'm not sure if I'd be able to do the same in say, Harry's perspective)! Anyway, thanks for the encouragement - the next chapter should be up fairly shortly. I've already written about half of it, so it'll be up soon!
Another lovely update! I also liked the way certain last names were dropped in the classroom scene. I found the Firenze perspective to be really interesting and a great way to show what his life might've been like before Harry. I also really like the way he is so tortured with knowing the future and what it holds for James. The comparisions of James and Riddle both in the forest and wanting to kill Riddle and Pettigrew was very interesting. I always love the way you write McGonagall and I love seeing the boys from her eyes. Well done! And nice little addition of Lily looking at James, though I wouldve liked a line or two about what McGonagall thought about that. Thanks for the great update! Another before Christmas- pretty please?
Author's Response: Thanks! Firenze was really interesting to write - I'm glad he appealled to you. He is tortured, poor fellow, by the fact that he can't interfere, because he knows that Harry has to come to save the day (eventually). But I think it's nice to put a centaur into a Marauder fic, as we all know what will become of them anyway, so it's not like Firenze's musings are spoiling the outcome for anyone! So why not throw in a character who also knows what the end result will be, was my opinion. And I do love to write the boys from Minerva's perspective - she is the one character in the canon who reminisces about them as a pair, and clearly her perception of them is different to their own, so I like writing that. I did intentionally decide not to make her elaborate on her observations of Lily's behaviour though, primarily because it would be a run-of-the-mill thing for her to see - at this stage she has been teaching in a co-ed secondary school for about 20 years, so I don't think it would have been remarkable for her, though perhaps I should have expressed that. Oh well! Thank you for your tremendous encouragement!
Oh wow, poor Firenze: that's what comes of knowing the future :( I really liked the bit '...Firenze did not like to possess the knowledge that the trees around them would quite soon grow to outlive his walking companion.' The Firenze bit is really good, v. interesting perspective that I've not seen before. Hehe, McGonagall's always competitive, wherther the head of Slytherin be Snape or Slughorn :) [Hmm, that just triggered a thought - why is the head of Slytherin always the potions master? Pretty much anyway.] Bones and Macmillan - I love little connections to canon like that, this is really well written. McGonagall observant as always. Both in character, both really interesting, great chapter as usual <)=-] Oooh, first reviewer.
Author's Response: Yes! I always assumed that knowing the future would be a heavy burden, particularly as it holds such dreadful things, yet Firenze cannot speak about it; he simply has to step back and watch the events unfold. And Firenze is usually left out of fics, even though I think the centaurs are quite important, even if they tend to stay on the sidelines. So I decided to put him in, so he wouldn't feel left out! Yeah, and actually I hadn't really thought about both heads of Slytherin being Potions teachers - but I had thought of two Gryffindor heads who have been transfiguration profs - Minerva and Albus! So maybe different houses specialise in different things. Thank you for your lovely encouraging (and first) review!
Aww I felt really sorry for James, missing his dad & Lily & all. The bit with Lily was great, interesting interaction between them. About detentions and being out of bounds at night was always something I wondered about: it's a bit stupid if they're going to come out of detention, get caught 'out of bounds' by Filch whilst going back to their dormitorys and put back in detention... Dumbledore should really look into that =D Great chapter as usual, keep writing!
Author's Response: Very true! But I think Filch would try to find ways of punishing them anyway, no matter why the students were up late - and in these days, he's allowed to use all the torture-devices he reminisces about in the canon, so there's good reason as to why they see him as much more of a threat here in Red! Great to hear you liked it, the next chapter will be up fairly soon (I hope).
And once again you have supplied all of us lovely readers with perfection! It must've been the longest yet and I absolutely loved it! It was perfect to see the boys talking in the mirror, and the way you got Lily together with James on an adventure was perfect! I love the boys' quick thinking, and I honestly was surprised by most of the chapter twists! Excellent work. One thing I noticed was that the quotation marks are kind of off when James is telling Filch about his boils. It seemed like there were marks before his little speech had ended, and that sort of thing. I thought the chapter was excellent, though I will be sooo disapointed if this means we wont see 17 for a long time! Great work as always, your character development is flawless. Oo and my prediction for the next chapter is that it will involve the quidditch final. Lol I figured at this point I might as well start leaving predictions. Excellent work!
Author's Response: Thank you! Yes, this chapter is very long, isn't it? It just sort of flowed and I kept getting new ideas - that's why there are so many twists - I honestly didn't plan those! I liked writing Filch, he's quite detestable - and I like you're appreciating the character development - it's nice to watch them grow! As for chapter 17... it won't be too long a wait - a few weeks at most - I'm just telling everyone so they won't be too annoyed! I'll check out those quotation marks now; it was, as I said, very long and therefore made it hard to proof-read - I kept getting distracted - adding in stuff, really!
Author's Response: And um... no, the very next chapter isn't the Quidditch Final - but you're right on track - that'll be contained in the chapter after "Centaurian Musings and Oblivious Teenage Captains".
Great story! Kudos on an awesome chapter! I loved how Lily was standing there listening to Sirius and James' conversation! I really love how you've captured the emotions of several different individuals in the story. It's great! Can't wait for an update!
Author's Response: Thanks for your lovely review! It's great to hear you're enjoying it... And yes, Sirius and his big mouth - how awfully embarrassing for James!