Reviewer: sunshine
Date: 06/11/06 18:49
Chapter: The Avalon Chronicles

I know I already reviewed, but I was curious: is Naomi another name for Nimue, or a totally original name?

Author's Response: Interesting. It's original. Never saw a connection before...

Reviewer: sunshine
Date: 06/08/06 22:32
Chapter: The Avalon Chronicles

WOW. I'm...I'm speechless. I don't have your gift of words, but that was like, powerful.

Reviewer: kitkat2010
Date: 05/29/06 21:34
Chapter: The Avalon Chronicles

Oh, wow. I loved this story a lot! I really enjoyed how you explored a character from mythology, and inserted Hogwarts and such, as well as real historical events, such as Rome's invasion.

I enjoyed your description of harnessing magic, and the fiery description of Morgana throughout her teaching. I really liked was your description of 'true magic'. It was wonderfully thought out, and tied with the story very well.

The part with the sword was rather intriguing. The descriptions of Morgana while she made the sword were well written. And although I'm not sure who the hero ended up to be, but I do believe there is a connection to Harry. The presence of a connection between the wizarding world's past and present is obvious.

I, myself, did not think this story was rushed. On the contrary, I think the pace was just right. If it was more detailed and such, I believe it would have been confusing, and would have taken away from the mysterious feel of the fic.

This was a wonderful read. Keep writing!

Reviewer: shadows_in_fire
Date: 05/26/06 20:32
Chapter: The Avalon Chronicles

Wow. Amazing. I loved the way you gave Morgan le Fay such a personality. I don't normally read to review, so I won't be going on about errors, but near the end of the story you wrote great instead of create. I was a bit confused. ; ) Why was Morgan's wand broken? It seemed a bit odd, although given her temperament and attitudes to her students I can't say I really blame them for doing it. I think the only real criticism I can give you is that it seemed a bit fast paced. I still loved it, though.

Reviewer: lily_evans34
Date: 04/30/06 17:01
Chapter: The Avalon Chronicles

Wow, I loved that! Like nutty said, you managed to keep an even, enjoyable pace throughout the whole story. I loved the way you did the descriptions. They were beautiful! You created some of the best imagery that I have ever read in a fanfic. This really was a very pleasurable read. I thought that the whole consept that you thought up was fascinating. I really liked your characters as well. They were well thought out, and it wasn't like you threw them in there for the sake of having them. I really, really, liked this. Great job, and please, keep writing!

Reviewer: the nutty imp
Date: 04/30/06 9:44
Chapter: The Avalon Chronicles

It's not easy to write a story that moves at such a pace without using dialogues and you managed this amazingly.

I love how you started this to say that this story took place during the peak of the Roman Empire where they gained control of Britain. Thus a start of a whole new era. A time to 'Romanize' old beliefs and setting of new traditions.

Your story has just the rigt amount of vagueness to give it a mysterious feel of the old and forgotten ways.

Love the idea of a new cycle of the old ways and power fading to give way to the new. Although I still don't fully grasp how the new sword would help ... then again it does add to the mysterious and vague feel you've brought into this story.

Reviewer: Masked One
Date: 04/19/05 13:25
Chapter: The Avalon Chronicles

Iím sorry it took my so long to get around to reviewing this. I read it when you first posted the link in the Challenge Station, but I didnít have time to review, and it slipped my mind. As a response to the challenge, this is a bit too broad- it encompasses many years and doesnít go into details. It works Hogwarts into the tale, but it doesnít explain how the HP version of magic caused muggles to believe in the tale of King Arthur, and thatís really what the challenge was looking for.

As a story it is quite well done. I was especially interested by Hogwarts turning away from Ďtrue magic.í Iíve often thought that Hogwarts students relied too much on wands and spells, and didnít think about what was possible without them. Itís one of my favorite topics to explore, which made this a very interesting story.

I really liked your description of the cycle; a new hero and a new weapon for each war. It really does keep going on, and the way you tied that into the story was very nice. It tied in quite well with Harry as well- the hero who bears suffering.

Thank you for the response to the challenge and the very enjoyable story, because the story really was enjoyable even if it wasnít what Iíd imagined when I posted the challenge. 8/10

Reviewer: Kewii
Date: 03/14/05 18:28
Chapter: The Avalon Chronicles

Okay, first some sentence problems (I hate doing this so it goes first...I feel so nitpicky) I found this sentence sort of awkward: A woman that seemed somehow familiar to me carried to me my wand. also: However, I inhaled it and went into a trance. (I don't think the however is needed. I would have also liked to see a description of the trance, rather than just saying she was in a trance) I think this is missing a word: I searched for lakes that and hills... It was a clear day and I saw clearly the tall Tor that I had seen. (I'm like huh??) but under the guidance of me and Merlin, (better if it was "under the guidance of myself and Merlin") but it was only in a dream right as I joined her and Igraine, who followed her shortly (again...huh?) I could now dissuade them. (not??) I burned them or crushed them or dissolved them into the ore, which I continued to work. (just all the 'or''s) I longed to tell Naomi of what Iíd seen, to share with anyone the last things I saw and knew must be told if I was to save my land. (confusing, just the last part) I would also watch out for using the word However. I just find it breaks the mood a bit, and often you don't need it. I have to say, even without a beta, this is really well written. I know if my stuff isn't checked first it looks pretty pathetic...not like this ^_^ Now onto the good stuff, that really matters: I love the atmosphere that you're creating. I'm also wondering about how much you know about religion during this time period because the parallels to the roman invasion and what happened to religion are very similiar to your story. "My life was played back to me as I worked endlessly. I knew that I had never really loved anyone. Iíd treasured my sisters, children, and even sometimes my various lovers, but the only true devotion Iíd ever exhibited had been to magic and the Goddess. She had consumed me. She had taken up my soul and entire being. She had given me life and strength that outlasted any Iíd ever seen. I wished then that I had cared more for the world outside. I should have shared the secret of Avalon with the magic people in the outside world. I should have worked for the greater good of the land I knew now that I loved. I should have helped my students. I should have used my powers to heal, not hurt, which I often had in my frustration. There were so many things I should have done that I was overwhelmed." beautiful, just beautiful. It captures a person flashing back to all the could've beens and should've beens in life so well. "Suffering is only meant for some." How sad, yet how true. Its such an excellent fic. I love how you tied Godric's sword to Morgana's sword. And the two stories work so well together. Its just incredible and the mood holds together so well throughout the entire chapter. There were some parts that could've used a bit more description, but overall it was really well done. I really enjoyed it ^_^

Author's Response: Snap! Kewii, I love you to death. Thank you for reading, reviewing, advice-ing, and encouraging. Where would I be without you?

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