this is brilliant! i have been trying to think for ages how i could write about this topic, but this is written perfectly. I love how it shows off the friendship that they have with each other. I love how you have written it without character interaction, it makes it so much more emotional! well done. xx
Amazing. This is amazing. You're amazing. Wow. I'm speechless.
That made me cry! It was for Remus!!!!
A sweet and moving vignette. I'm not sure why you're not satisfied with it (the style, perhaps?), but I thought that you more than made up for the simple style with a lucid exposition of the extents that friendship warrants. In this respect, I found two particular sentences particularly affecting:
Sirius said it, when he risked life and limb — and detention — hiding behind bushes and jumping nervously at the darting shadows, just to find out how to get into the tunnel beneath the Whomping Willow.
It came in the form of antlers, and pointed hooves. It came in shaggy black fur and a wagging tail; and two days later, just when unvoiced frustration was beginning to simmer, it came in small black eyes, and whiskers, and sharp square teeth, and they swore that that night was the night.
One of the aspects of your stories that I particularly like is the amount of thought you have placed into them, and the morsels of wisdom you imbue. It's nice to see them even in this beginning piece.
not as bad as you make it out to be..
Ooh very interesting. I like the spin you took on it. I enjoyed the dedication you showed that they had to their friend, and that you wrote no more and no less than how they fought to become Animagi. I really like this story (even though your profile says you don't). :]
omg that was so swet and like i can't even find words to describ it great peice
Beautiful! I would pester you to write another chapter but you really can't... I'm trying not to cry right now. I'm such a pathectic Marauder fangirl. Anyway, the point is, the story was good.
I liked it.
Lacking something (what, I don't know,) but it was GOOD.
That was really good. I love your writing style! It's different from most of the other authors on this site. I really love your work.
Very short, but quite moving. I really like friendship marauder fics, and this one really showed the devotion and love James, Peter and Sirius must have felt for Remus.
oh, so noble...*sniff*
YAY!!!! For all the Maraduers! I really liked how you had it in like a narratior how didn't rally talk....it showed everyones exsaustion perfectly, but you should have had Remus' feeling's in there too....
If there was still a rating I wouls give it a 10/10 ...Good job!
10/10. I always forget home much time and effort James, Sirius, and Peter put into becoming animagi -for Remus. It's really lovely to see that put into words. Lovely, poignant, and even a little funny: "Sirius said it, when he risked life and limb — and detention — hiding behind bushes and jumping nervously at the darting shadows, just to find out how to get into the tunnel beneath the Whomping Willow. "
This was just... wow. Rarely does a story make me feel pain, frustration, and happiness- particularly a one-shot. I find that its nearly impossible to cram so many emotions into the words. But you have done it. Thank you for giving me such pleasure. 10/10.
That was amazing! This is something I've always thought about--how much pain and sacrifice the other Marauders had to go through to do what they did, and you captured it perfectly. Your writing style is really great. The feelings came across so clearly, and...it was great. There are a lot of things I want to say but can't seem to put into words. Oh, well. Awesome!
Awesome, awesome. I really really like it. I am at a loss to see how you can make such simple feelings, thoughts and actions into masterpieces. That was very short, but that's what made it such a good read. Lovely job. D'you write original fiction?
Your style reminds me of oral tradition with it's repitition. As if we should be sitting round a fire huddled in our woollens with you whispering your poetry to us.
that was incredible! 10/10
Wow. I love this. You’ve captured the dynamic between them so well.
Sirius said it, when he risked life and limb – and detention – hiding behind bushes and jumping nervously at the darting shadows, just to find out how to get into the tunnel beneath the Whomping Willow. I love the humor there.
Characterization is excellent. You gave Sirius his moments in the wind: It gave him a feeling of power, of hope, and of indefinable, all-pervading peace. And there he remembered that it was for Remus, all of it, and went about his work with a little more vigour, a little more happiness. You gave Peter the frustration of not being very good, but wanting so badly to accomplish this. And James can be hardworking when he wants to. Very very nice.