aww thts sooo gooood bravo
awwww! that was really good! it was well written, sweet, and i personally love that pairing. excellent, excellent, EXCELLENT work!!!
I am no longer alone…
yay! v. good fic
It's very difficult to write good slash--I could never work up the courage to do it myself. Cheers to you for trying, and for doing a great job of it, too. I've read a fair bit of Remus/Sirius and it falls into two catagories: really good and abysmal. Yours happily falls into the first.
The only thing I would suggest would be to continue this...you've got some good emotions here that are wasted on a oneshot. Not that there's anything wrong with oneshots, but you're leaving your readers wanting more.
I really enjoyed reading this; keep up the good work!
Doctor Phoenix of Ravenclaw, Knight of the Turnip Table
Sweet. It was okay. It just seemed kind of... The end could've been more solid. I'm really tired right now and I can't... I don't even know. It was sweet, but it seemed to lack a plot. And just... I dunno. I enjoyed it, but just... I dunno. Sirius seemed kind of OOC or something. Sorry, it's like 2;30 in the morning and I can't think.
I dont like the fact there's no more! it was wonderful it was easy to get into and flowed well, it's such a tease that your not writing more!
Ooh, I like it! It's a nice little Sirius and Remus fic, which are my absolute favorite. The plot is solid and Remus is well in character. He's so practical and down-to-earth, just like Remus in the books.
I liked how subtle it was. It wasn't overly sappy or fluffy, which is a problem I tend to have with my own stories. All in all, a good one-shot.
You left out a letter in this sentence:
"the constant lies are *staring* to become ridiculous."
Thought I'd point that out, just in case. Keep up the good work! ^.^
Okay, what was I thinking? This story is absolutly perfect. Gosh, I must of been on something to ever believe this was less than perfect. You're really a great author. Keep writing. *mumbles to self* What was I thinking?
Okay? Too short for my taste but still fairly good. Sirius, to me, is little out of character. But then again, what do I know?
Bella! I haven't really read anything of yours up to this moment, and I must say I was enchanted by your little fic here. I am not the biggest fan of same-sex pairing, but I might have to dive into your other works as well. This was quite an intriguing story. And, to be quite frank, very short- but what's the difference? I really don't know. It might have gotten boring if it was extended further, so I suppose this was a good length to have it as.
Well, I'm gonna start with the way you write. You submit very subtle hints as to what's to happen in the next few paragraphs donw that make a reader crazy for the few moments that they think they know what shall happen, but are doubtful. Like me. Which went crazy with the hints you portrayed. One example: "“Because you were all googly-eyed and looked as if you’d been hit on the head with a mallet. So, who’s the lucky girl then?” he asks cheekily, winking at me. I blush, but not because of his comment. He must know by now." How I went CRAZY over that line. I knew what was happening now, that Remus had that little attraction- which was what I knew would happen- but I couldn't help but suspect that it wouldn't happen that way. You cleverly disguised it, you did.
There were some odd things I noticed throughout the fic that I wasn't quite a fan of, but I did realize that it hooked me in and made my mind wonder what could exactly be going on. Yes, they weren't my favourite lines, but... who cares. They worked. ;) Such as the first paragraph- a good hook if I've ever saw one. It interested me by wondering who's POV it was from, and seemed odd- just because the wording was off in some way. However, it was successful, and I liked it quite a bit. This line was interesting, to say the least: "“Whatever you say, mate,” Sirius replies with an air of someone who has just discovered someone’s dirty little secret. “But, you know, whoever she is, she’s lucky.”". There isn't anything wrong with it; it just clicked correctly. Nicely done.
There was only one mistake that I saw completely staring at me, otherwise, it was quite well looked over. "James loves Lily far too much to ever betray her, and Sirius would never take a friends girlfriend." "Friends" should be "friend's".
The contrasting feelings you provided was inconsistant with the overall feeling of lost hope, but you still did quite a nice job with what you wrote. You inserted some humor: "“Yes, Remus, girl. You know, the fairer sex, the ones with breasts,” he laughs, brushing his long hair out of his eyes." Typical Sirius. *cue rolling of eyes* And don't forget the intense pity: "Not that grades are the most important thing in this world, but since I don’t have anything else going for me…". Poor Remus. I felt extremely sorry for him there- although, it didn't seem like him... but of course, his mind was gibberish at the moment, with Sirius in front of him.
The kiss scene and the ending were excellent, I must say. Normally, they are awkward endings or final touches that really seem to not fit at all, but you managed to achieve something that seemed possible, something that might have happened in canon- but sadly, we know that is not the case. However, it was good, I'll give that for ya! ;)
Sadly, I must wrap my review up- but I leave you with this: you make slash so much fun. :-)
That's so good I seem to like Remus/Sirius fics. Also Ron/ Draco but there aren't enough. Anyway Good fic.
Author's Response: Thanks! ^__^
Oh, wow. Nothing goes together better than the best Sirius/Remus fic ever written and powdered dougnuts and milk. Just nothing. Well, I loved it. But that's a given. You write far too wonderfully for anyone to not like it. [You get 10 outta' 10. You're that special. =)]
Wow, I see I'm not the only one who likes this story! I totally agree with the other people that your writing is good, very good indeed. And the begining! I like it :) I'll read your other story too :)
Awwwww!! So fluffy and perfect....the type of story that makes you shiver all over. Teehee. I loved it. :)
Hoe sweet! I didn't quite understand Sirius' last comment before he kissed Remus...oh well. Beautifully written, and excellent job capturing the characters. 10/10.
Author's Response: lol thanks! I'm glad you liked it!!!
Awwww. That was so sweet. It was, like so beautiful. In truth, I kinda like the idea of Sirius and Remus together. ^-^ Lovely story. =] I give you a 10, duh. =]
Author's Response: Thanks! YAY 10 for me!!!o.o
FABOULOUS!! I loved it. You write soooo well. You captured Remus perfectly. Well done and cheers!
Author's Response: *blushes* I don't write that well... Thank you for the ego-booster!!!
awwwwwwwwwwwwww! This is the only slash couple i apprive of (rl/sb) and this is so cute! -claps you and hands you muffin-
Author's Response: thanks
very well written!! you are going somewhere with this please update soon
Author's Response: I'm writing a similar fic, this time chaptered, from Sirius' P.O.V. Should be up any time now! Thanks for the review!
10/10! I think Remus is one of the only individuals not tainted by evil, too. I REALLY hope you continue this fic. And you have other fics, do you not? I'm going to go read them!
Author's Response: Aw thank you. I'm writing a "sister" fic at the moment, from Sirius' point of view...must get that finished...^___^ Thanks for the review!