Totally Awesome Read it 7x!!
this is really sad are you trying to depress me
Thats soo sad, but the writing soo good that it actualy made me cry i dont know how tho hehe
oh my gosh! i loved this one-shot. it was so well-written and put a lot of emotion into the characters. Well done!
it is beautiful!! i love reading espicially when i need 2 b calm..wenevr i read it i feel like im floating.. heehee.. keep it up!! u rock!! ;)
That was both sweet and sad at the same time. Good job.
this is wicked romantic and sad. it really toudhed me. i actually cried when i read it. good job.
Author's Response: thanks so much!
Oooooh! That was beautiful! i LOVED IT SOOOO MUCH! You are definatly getting a quicksiver nomination for this abso lutly wonderful peice of work! Absolutly flawless you leave me with such emotion, only the best writers can do that.
Author's Response: Wow, thanks so much. That's very nice of you to say, I'm glad you enjoyed it =)
How did harry die? Did he die?
I left a two-liner review for this some time ago, back when I couldn’t review, that I really don’t see fit for this marvelous story, so I have decided to give you a better review. /excessive use of the word ‘review’
Anyway, I simply adored this story. You actually managed to convert me to Harry/Hermione, which is quite the feat, judging by the fact that I’ve always hated this ship.
The thing that I like the best about this story is the emotion. You don’t use much dialogue (which is something that I usually don’t like) but I think that it’s very effective in this story. You capture Hermione’s feelings, and how much she missed Harry, perfectly. When I was reading, I could really feel for her; her happiness at her wedding, her sorrow after her loss, and her excitement during her dream when she thought Harry was back.
Neither of the happy couple noticed when several other people came out to join them under the moonlight. The entire world was forgotten as they kissed and danced. Hermione sighed happily when they pulled away; nothing could ruin this perfect moment. Harry was her husband; they would be together forever. No more pretending, or avoiding the obvious.
I adored this paragraph. I could almost sense the ease of the blissful moment as I read it. My favorite line is: The entire world was forgotten as they kissed and danced. I think that’s a perfect way to describe two people who are in love; forgetting the world and sharing their moment together. I think it’s amazing how well you can put feelings like this; that come solely from emotion, to words.
During their seventh year, Hermione and her close friends said 'I love you' to each other almost everyday. It became a natural thing for them to say to each other…that is until one day Harry sat her down, looked at her seriously and said, 'Hermione, I am in love with you,' and instantly she knew that he no longer meant as a friend.
Here, I think it’s odd that they say ‘I love you’ to each other everyday. This sounds like something that girl-friends would do, but I don’t think that it’s something that guys and girls do to each other, because of the meaning of ‘I love you’.
Also, I don’t think that ‘in’ is the best word to italicize. It sounds awkward when you say it out loud, stressing the ‘in’. I think that italicizing the ‘love’ or the whole ‘in love with you’ would make it more effective.
"Hey," Ron said quietly as he saw her eyes open. "How are you doing?" he asked cautiously. He knew this was her first anniversary without Harry.
I think that saying ‘He knew this was her first anniversary without Harry’ is a bit redundant, because you’ve already made a note of saying that that. Maybe you should say something like ‘He knew what this day meant to Hermione’ or ‘He knew the impact that this day would have on her’ or something like that. You’ve already established the fact that it was her first anniversary without Harry, so I think that saying it again from Ron’s POV is repetitive. But maybe you could say something along those lines of my (rather lame) suggestions.
Hermione's gaze remained glued to Harry, and she could have sworn he stared right into her own eyes and mouthed 'I love you.'
Wow. I just… adore this line. It’s quite simple, but so full of heartbreaking emotion. It leaves the story on an eerie/sad note that fits the piece beautifully. It nearly brought me to tears.
I just can’t get over how much I love this story. In most Harry/Hermione fics that I’ve read, the characters are extremely OOC, and the author forgets about Ron. You avoided both of these things very well. Your emotion and description are simply amazing, and your dialogue, when used, helps the characters’ characterizations wonderfully. So overall… this piece is just brilliant.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for your very detailed review! It's always so interesting to see, in quotes, which passaged readers enjoyed or even those that didn't come off correctly. Believe it or not, this was the very first fanfiction that I ever wrote, and I have never re-edited it since then. I think it is neat to come back to this little one shot and re-read it, just to see how much I've improved as a writer where style is concerned. It's quite amazing what a few years of writing and reading other fanfics can do for a writer's style. Anyway, I'm glad that you liked my story, thanks again for your wonderful review :)
Awww... thats sad... Your a very good writer! I enjoyed reading that vastly, the way you write pulls you into the story! Very good.
this story was great! just like all your other stories you are a awesome writer CLee!
it was the best story i ever read. it made me cry.
Wowee. Powerful. And written extremely well. And I loved the ending. :D
Wow, that was amazing. It was so beautifully written, and I was crying when I reached the end. You are such a talented writer. Amazing job!
ohh i liked to twist.. very sweet :)
OMG that is like the best!!
Ohhh so sad! Poor Hermione, and how sweet of Ron..
Oh.. nice story!!!
And saaad.... sniff...
I'm not a Harry/Hermione shipper, but this story was very good!!!!
Thanks for it!!!