well this is one of the greatest stories i have ever read. if the rest of your chapters are as good as this one, then this is like second to JKR
Author's Response: I'm so glad you enjoyed this chapter, but I think there really is no comparison to be made. Thank you for your review!
Great start to your story! Your first two chapters here are very well done. I really enjoyed your portrayal of all the characters. I liked the part where Ginny and Hermione are trying to pick out an outfit for Hermione's date. Just some good fun interaction between characters that makes your story really fun to read. I also like the part about Harry and Hermione falling asleep together on couch. The whole idea of friends before, well more than friends is well portrayed here, especially when Harry wakes up and the first thing he notices is that Hermione is no where in sight. One thing that I would offer as a suggestion, you keep referring to the final battle, almost like it's scheduled on the calendar like a Quidditch match. It sort of distracted me a little bit because that's what I kept thinking. Instead of final battle, what about saying something like "The inevitable clash (or collision) with Lord Voldemort"? It's just a suggestion, it's not like this was a major flaw or anything. You did do a very good job, I thought, created a sort of panic stricken backdrop for your story, where you can tell everyone is a little bit on edge. I did like that. Also, and this is very picky on my part, but I offer it as a suggestion: Some of your paragraphs seemed really long. When you have someone like me, who reads like a 6 year old, long paragraphs can detract from your story a little bit. I think maybe if you tried to break up a couple of your really long paragraphs into shorter ones, you'd find that your story might read a little easier. Other than those two small things, I was very impressed with your story, and really am looking forward to your next chapter! I'm a pretty big H/Hr fan, and yours is certainly one of the ones I have enjoyed the most! 9/10.
Author's Response: I really want to thank you for your review and I'm really thrilled you like the story so far. I want to especially thank you for your suggestions, as they are really, very helpful and I will try to refer to them for my next chapters. Thanks for reading!
The plot's turning out to be quite great!!! PLEEEAAASEEE UPDATE SOON!!!!!! This is killing me, I can't wait for ur next chapter!
Author's Response: I'm really happy you liked it. Thanks for reviewing.
BRILLIANT! Oh, I'm so thoroughly excited about this story! I feel compelled to list everything I loved about this chapter. First and foremost, the Quidditch scene. You managed to find a lovely, realistic way to incorporate it into your story. And- when Harry pulled that fast move and grazed Hermione's cheek- *dies* AMAZING detail there; and quite touching. Secondly, the conversation that Hermione walked into at the end was hilarious. It showed the wonderful dynamics between the chartacters. It was something that could have come straight from the books, I tell you! I also like how Hermione's relationship with Anthony is a very typical one. Many stories always have a relationship broken by something magical, like a spell or potion or the like... it's nice to see some true realism in this regard as well. This story seems to be a PERFECT balance of romance, wit, and humor. You're quite talented, and don't let the lack of reviews tell you otherwise. I LOVE how everything is so subtle... you're elegant with your descriptions. I can't stand when an author writes something blatant like, 'Harry realized he likes Hermione and they kissed and they become boyfriend and girlfriend'... GAG. Like I said, your subtle and elegant. Keep that up! It's rare. Lastly, being a moderator I see nearly every story that comes through the queue, and I can tell you that this is one of the most well-rounded ones we have. REALLY well done. Please update soon... I'll be checking for it!
Author's Response: Oh my God! I cannot tell you how thrilled I am to hear all this and to know that you enjoyed it! I'm really speechless, I had no idea that my writing was really as good as you make it sound. Thank you so much for reviewing and I will try to update as soon as possible!
So far so good, just hope she realizes soon that Harry is the one for her. ^__^
Author's Response: Well, actually she's not going to realize for quite somet time. It will be Harry who realizes first. Thanks for reading and I'm glad you liked it.
Well done!! I like it, and your style of writing. Please update ;) I agree with everyone else in here, don't give up just yet!!! So far, so good :)
Author's Response: I'm really glad you enjoyed it. I've submitted the second chapter, and hopefully it will be validated. Thanks for taking the time to review.
this is a great story so please update soon
Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing. Not a lot of people seem to want to. I'm glad you liked the story and hopefully the next chapter will be up soon.
Ok, it keeps cutting me off but suffice it to say that the last quote I just put was lame because it doesnt leave anything to the imagination or get the reader emotionally invested in the character's feelings. You havent made this mistake though, so GREAT job with that! Keep up the good characterizations, and update ASAP cause i'll be on the lookout for it!
Author's Response: Oh my Gosh! First review! Firstly, I want to thank so much for reviewing and I'm really glad you liked this first chapter. I'm happy you like the characterization and the way it's subtle, because that's what I was actually striving for. Second chapter is finished and I'll be adding it shortly (hopefully it will be validated). Again, thanks for reading and I'm glad you enjoyed it!
AHH! It cut off my review! : / Anyway, that line I took from your chapter was great because it let the reader know that something was up, but it wasn't overly obvious like: "Harry's stomach churned uneasily because he was beginning to like Hermione."
I cannot for the life of me understand why no one has reviewed! So in compensation, this shall be a long one. Firstly, REALLY well done!!! I'm extremely impressed with this first chapter! You have a fantastic style that allows the reader to really grasp the scene with your subtle yet thorough descriptions, and yet you know exactly where to draw the line with them so that it's not boring. This is a hard balance, so great job with that! Secondly, and MOST importantly, your characterizations of Harry and Hermione are SPOT ON!! I can't tell you how thrilled I am about this! SOOO many authors have Harry acting too arrogant or too nasty, and Hermione is always too shy or too isolated from everyone else. You seem to really know the characters, and moreover, you know how to write them well. I LOVE how you don't make your hints too obvious. Like: "Something had formed in his stomach, like a knot, but he didnít understand why."