Reviews For Love's Embrace
Reviewer: shadowz_13
Date: 05/03/05 18:47
Chapter: Distance

I LOVE YOUR STORY!!!!! i just finished reading the last chapter!!

Author's Response: Thanks!

Reviewer: Vader
Date: 05/01/05 22:36
Chapter: Distance

as just having an average night when I flipped to the H/Hr page and saw one of my favorite stories had a new chapter posted. I loved your portrayal of emotions in the chapter. There is a good deal of hurt on both sides when something like this happens and I must say I really identified with Harry having been in a dead similar situation before. It is so easy to tell someone that something like this will not affect your friendship. The truth, however, is that it always does. You did a marvelous job depicting those feelings.

Here are the few things I noticed in this chapter in terms of areas to improve:

In this sentence: and he’d said, “Is there…was there…anything I could have done to make you love me back?”, I would make it he’d ask or he’d inquire. It sounds a little better to me.

Second, your letter from Harry comes across a little to mature for me. I think Harry would fumble through something like that terribly. It just seems like it was a little too perfectly worded for Harry.

This sentence, and he still loved her with every ounce of strength he possessed, just doesn’t sound right to me. How about something like, when Harry looked inside he could see that his love for her was still in complete control. Just a suggestion.

Once again, you have written a truly great chapter. You closing paragraph was so spot on similar to mine, it really tied it all in for me. Great job! I really liked it.



Author's Response: First, let me say I'm glad you liked the portrayal of feelings in the chapter. That was my main goal for this chapter. But as I said in my A/N, I felt like there was something wrong with it from the beginning (which is why it took such a long time to post). Now, I might change the thing about Harry's asking Hermione, but I might not. Only becauuse o don't think Harry wants to go too deep into that discussion, because he knows it will bring him more pain. As for the letter, I know it's a bit mature, but after all Harry did stay up all night writing it. I'm sure he can find words if he really wants to (his letter to Sirius). And I think I probably will change the last sentence. Again, I want to thank you for all of the wonderful suggestions. And I'm really happy you liked it!

Reviewer: Moonwitch
Date: 05/01/05 13:30
Chapter: Let Me Love You

Did I mentioned it was awesome??

Author's Response: Yes, you did ;)

Reviewer: Moonwitch
Date: 05/01/05 13:28
Chapter: Let Me Love You

DEAR GOD!!!! THAT WAS BLOODY PERFECT, AWWWWW!!!!! I LOVED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! . Troubles are not over yet?? The was to be painfully expected. You nailed it gurl, you really did. all the while I was reading it, I wanted to slap Hermione and protect Harry....his confession was very romantic and sweet!!! awww ^_^. You captured every feeling right! Nicely done!!! (as always!) I need to stopp....I can't help it though...I'm a helpless romantic!! Again, congrats!!!

Author's Response: Thanks again. This chapter was a bit diffucult so I'm thrilled that you didn't think it was bad! By the way, I'm a hopeless romantic too!

Reviewer: Moonwitch
Date: 05/01/05 13:07
Chapter: Over and Over

Yet again, another nice chapter!!! wow, I haven't been here in such a long time; it was very nice ti find two new chapters!!! Again, keep writing and like someone else said, this fic is a breath of fresh air!! 10/10!

Author's Response: Thanks, I'm so happy you liked it! And that thing about the 'breath of fresh air', aww.

Reviewer: kernkraft_21
Date: 04/29/05 5:27
Chapter: A Saturday of Freedom

this story is great to read, please keep going this story is great to read, please keep going this story is great to read, please keep going this story is great to read, please keep going this story is great to read, please keep going

Author's Response: I will, don't worry. Thanks!

Reviewer: lovestruck90
Date: 04/26/05 18:04
Chapter: Let Me Love You

Just noticed this chickie but you like using song titles for chapter titles dont ya? lol

Author's Response: Yup, I do. Some of the songs just seem to fit in so perfectly with the chapters. By the way, to all those of you who are waiting for an update, it will be coming soon.

Reviewer: IJustReadThem
Date: 04/16/05 23:02
Chapter: Let Me Love You

GR8 chapter - i'm so excited for the next!! Hurry up with another, great job on the harry-hermione scenes... More!

Author's Response: Thanks!

Reviewer: Vader
Date: 04/12/05 8:29
Chapter: Let Me Love You

I would like to congratulate you, mspadfoot89, on capturing the absolutely infuriating nature of girls Hermione’s age. She knows she loves Harry, deep down, but all of the sudden has this urge to run back to Anthony; back to what she knows, back to what’s safe. She enters into a state of denial or panic about it, “Oh no! My best friend loves me and I love him…what do I do?” Not that boys Harry’s age aren’t infuriating too (they are in their own ways), but I really thought you did a fantastic job creating a very believable, very realistic reaction to Harry’s confession. I also liked it because Hermione didn’t just melt like butter in a hot pan like she does in nine out of ten Harry/Hermione stories when she finds out Harry likes her. The emotional fiber of this chapter was just excellent; one of your best yet. I really enjoyed reading it. There were only a couple things I would like to make comments on. First, you had an instance where you used a double “had” in your second paragraph. It just sounds a little weak to me. Anytime I catch myself writing something like this, I try to rephrase the sentence to avoid using the same word back to back. For example, “Many chances had presented themselves to Harry this past week and Ron was vigilant in his efforts to leave him alone with Hermione.” In my personal, good for nothing opinion, it just makes your writing sound much more limited with a “had had” in there and I know for a fact this is not the case. Secondly, and I must forewarn you here because I am really being extremely picky here, using the Room of Requirement. I don’t know if I liked the Room of Requirement as the place Harry chose to tell Hermione his feelings for her. The Room of Requirement, I think is one of those things in Harry Potter Fan Fiction that is getting worn out. There are just so many stories that have the Room of Requirement in it in some key capacity. My honest reaction was, “Not the Room of Requirement again!” I guess I would have liked to see something different, something original. For example, Harry leads Hermione to a little waterfall along a stream in the Forbidden Forest where, according to Hagrid, his dad used to take girls (Lily maybe?). However, that is just a matter of personal opinion. I thought your actual use of the Room of Requirement was fine. Overall, this was probably my favorite chapter in the story. It was a really enjoyable read. And, if there are more troubles ahead, which your author’s notes hints at, I cannot wait to read more! Great work, as always!

Author's Response: First of all, I want to thank you for the very detailed review. I means so much to me that you-and most of the other readers of this fic-would take the time to write down all of your thoughts. Next, I would like to say, I'm actually amazed that you liked Hermione's reaction, seeing as I really didn't spend that much time on her. It's probably one of those girl things. As for the 'had had' thing, I'll either try to think of another sentence or (if you don't mind of course) use your sentence, seeing as I liked it. Now for the Room of Requirement. Yes, I know it's getting very worn out, but I didn't really want to make it overly romantic, you know, with like moonlight and waterfalls and stuff like that. There will be a time for that later. And one last thing: there's not going to be much trouble with the romance, but other problems start coming up. Thanks again for the review!

Reviewer: Shakespeares_Daughter
Date: 04/11/05 20:33
Chapter: Let Me Love You

that was great! you've built it up really well and its a very unique story i feel. 10/10!!

Author's Response: Thank you! Happy you liked it!

Reviewer: tarawent
Date: 04/10/05 19:41
Chapter: Let Me Love You

YIPPEE!!! I've been waiting for this chapter! Great job - the kiss made me melt! Hurry with next chappie - I can hardly wait!

Author's Response: Thanks! Glad you liked it! I'll try to update soon, but I'm having a bit if writer's block. Thankfully, chapter 8 is finished-just a bit of fine tuning left.

Reviewer: synger
Date: 04/10/05 18:36
Chapter: Let Me Love You

That was great. Im so excited that you finally put in the piece from your summary cause thats what really got me hooked on you story in the first place. I enjoyed how harry told hermione that he loved (which is the right word) her. I love the internal struggle in both of them. and i hope to god that hermione dumps that loser and goes with harry. Lol any way great job synger r:9

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad to see you think that 'love' is the right word! (lol). As for Hermione and Anthony, I can't say very much on that topic because it would give too much away. Thanks again.

Reviewer: PhysicalGraffiti
Date: 04/10/05 11:47
Chapter: Let Me Love You

Wonderful! I can understand why you were nervous about this chapter- any time that Harry is confessing love, there tends to be great potential for mistakes/OOCness. Well, I am very happy to report that (in my humble opinion) you wrote that whole scene very well. Harry was extremely nervous, unsure, and feeling a good deal of torment. I believe that "canon Harry" would be the same in such a situation. You did make him slightly more confident than usual, but I suppose that because it was Hermione, it's possible he'd be able to talk to her more openly. You set this chapter up well, when you explained to us in the beginning how he'd tried to tell her earlier in the week. Hermione's reaction was beautifully constructed! She didn't automatically give in and start pouring out her heart, but she wasn't cruel and heartless either. Terrific balance. That was one of my favorite parts about this chapter. It's wonderful that you spend time on detail/description as well. Description is the final touch, and brings the scene to life. Overall, I'm extremely happy with this chapter (and this story in general). Keep it up!! I'll be watching for updates!

Author's Response: Whew! *lets out sigh of relief*. I'm thrilled you liked it and that you thought for most parts it was in character. I have to admit writing Harry was kind of hard, but surprisingly it was not so difficult writing Hermione. I'm especially happy you liked Hermione's reaction. Thank you again! These reviews are my motivation!

Reviewer: PhysicalGraffiti
Date: 04/10/05 11:46
Chapter: Indescribable Feelings

Wonderful! I can understand why you were nervous about this chapter- any time that Harry is confessing love, there tends to be great potential for mistakes/OOCness. Well, I am very happy to report that (in my humble opinion) you wrote that whole scene very well. Harry was extremely nervous, unsure, and feeling a good deal of torment. I believe that "canon Harry" would be the same in such a situation. You did make him slightly more confident than usual, but I suppose that because it was Hermione, it's possible he'd be able to talk to her more openly. You set this chapter up well, when you explained to us in the beginning how he'd tried to tell her earlier in the week. Hermione's reaction was beautifully constructed! She didn't automatically give in and start pouring out her heart, but she wasn't cruel and heartless either. Terrific balance. That was one of my favorite parts about this chapter. It's wonderful that you spend time on detail/description as well. Description is the final touch, and brings the scene to life. Overall, I'm extremely happy with this chapter (and this story in general). Keep it up!! I'll be watching for updates!

Reviewer: living_in_shadows
Date: 04/10/05 10:28
Chapter: Let Me Love You

I've just finished reading your story... and it's amazing! I'm usually for Ron/Hermione, but this is excellent. I couldn't stop reading it - your last chapter had me in awe. It was so well written - no fluff, just a pure since of what it would be like. I can't wait for the next chapter! 10.

Author's Response: I'm so happy you liked it! It's especially diffucult to please Ron/Hermione shippers! Thanks for the rating! Glad you liked the last chapter!

Reviewer: TNT_Angel
Date: 04/09/05 18:15
Chapter: Let Me Love You

Okay!!! This was another amazing chapter!! Wow, I cant believe you had the courage to write that! I couldnt do that. So, Harry finally admits it (I knew he would!) And Hermione's reaction was amazing! No fluff here. She cant decide, I really hope its going to be Harry in the end, but I can wait for that! For now, just keep writing the way you do!!!You are sooo good!Rating~10

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm happy you can wait a little bit, because as we all know romance doesn't happen overnight (most of the time, anyway). Anyway, thanks for your support and for the rating!

Reviewer: dark_fairy
Date: 04/09/05 16:33
Chapter: Let Me Love You

Oooh! First review! :D Well what can I say? I loved this chapter. It's so refreshing as usually in romance stories they just cut to the chase and they both end up feeling the same way and then they go out etc. But I love how in this Hermione has mixed feelings and says no to Harry. Also how Harry suddenly isn't 'Mr. Romantic', and doesnt start spouting stuff that's completely out of character for him. He stumbled and stuttered and blushed, much as Harry's character would do! Well done. And I love the end! I'm glad they kissed, though surely that wont mean they get together straight away, lol. This is Harry we're talking about, he never has it easy! Good job! *rates 10*

Author's Response: Well, you pretty much summed up the whole situation. It will take just a little bit more time for them to get together, mainly because I think Hermione has to figure out her feelings herself. Lol, true Harry never does have it easy. Thanks for the rating! So glad you liked it! As I said I was kind of nervous about this.

Reviewer: me the malfoy slayer
Date: 04/09/05 15:29
Chapter: Indescribable Feelings

OMG!! wow!! I want a guy to say that 2 me!! Lucky Hermione! Lucky, lucky girl!! She would be stupid NOT to fall in love with him after that speech!!STUPID!! pleasssseee hurry wiv the next chapter or I might explode!! plzzzzzzzzzz

Author's Response: Glad you liked it! Yes, well the speech was my favorite part, but Hermione isn't one to get swept up in feelings and such things. She does think things through very thoroughly. I'll try to update soon and thanks again!

Reviewer: dark_fairy
Date: 04/07/05 8:53
Chapter: Over and Over

Very good story! Have recently become a Hermione/Harry shipper and am thoughroughly convinced by this story! V good! I love it how Ron isn't jealous, because in some of the other stories i'm reading Ron is always jealous - and it gets predictable after a while - this fanfic is a breath of fresh air!:D

Author's Response: Happy you liked it! And turning into a Harry/Hermione shipper is the best thing you could have done, believe me! Thanks again!

Reviewer: Vader
Date: 04/04/05 9:10
Chapter: Over and Over

Ms. Padfoot89, great job on another very enjoyable chapter. It was nice to get a glimpse of what is going on in Hermione’s head with all of the things that are going on in your story. I like how you have Hermione arguing with herself. I think it’s very in character for her to try a present the situation from all sides before deciding on something. This chapter was like a day in the mind of Hermione Granger. I enjoyed the way you laid out Hermione’s though process. I liked how you described the differences between Harry and Anthony from Hermione’s point of view. I don’t know if you’ve done this intentionally or not (I think you have) but I get the sense that Anthony is more the physical attraction and Harry is the more spiritual and emotional connection with Hermione. I get that sense from statements like, “Anthony had the power to melt her completely with just one of his looks” and “He (Harry) knew her every expression, her every mood, her every flaw—he knew her for what she was.” I do have some comments and suggestions for you on this chapter. When I read this sentence, “Harry had never done something like this for her before” I felt like it’s kind of untrue. I think its pretty well established that for Ron and Hermione, Harry would throw himself directly in harm’s way with little regard for the consequences. For example, in book one, Harry and Ron go after Hermione when the Mountain Troll is loose in the school. At the point, Harry and Ron really weren’t even friends with Hermione. They were pretty much putting their lives on the line there; a higher price than expulsion (well to everyone except Hermione…also see book one). I also would have liked to see some more details put into the chapter. I thought I saw a couple places where you could have added something to really pull the reader into your chapter. For example, “…the power to melt her completely with just one of his looks,” tell me about one of Anthony’s looks. What did it do to Hermione? Another place, is where Hermione answered Professor Lanett’s question. Give us the actual answer, be creative. How exactly do humans defeat ghosts? I for one would like to know ;). In all, I really enjoyed this chapter as much as I have enjoyed reading its predecessors. You’re doing a really good job with this story so far, and I can’t wait to see more. Keep up the fine work!

Author's Response: Yey! Review from Vader! Well, first off, I'd like to say, I'm happy you enjoyed the chapter. Next, for the differences between Harry and Anthony they were intentional annd you I'm really happy you grasped that fact. As for your suggestion I feel you are absolutely right. I will change "harry had never done something like this for her before," because as you've said it's not true. As for the ghosts i have the whole defence thing planned out, but didn't know whether to put it in or not. I guess I will! Constructive criticsm is so helpful! Thanks for all your suggestions!

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Chocolate Frog by L A Moody 3rd-5th Years
Amid the desolation of Diagon Alley, a tiny ray of hope lay buried. Nothing...
I Suspect Nargles by foolondahill17 3rd-5th Years
“No one’s ever kissed me before…. What is one to do now?” An extensive...
The Life and Times of Linnea Potter by Cantatrix 1st-2nd Years
Linnea Potter has lived under the tyranny of her relatives for the better part...
FEATURED
Glass over the Flame by the opaleye 3rd-5th Years
Harry, Hermione, and the moments in between. He doesn’t say that this...
Tom Riddle and the Chamber of Secrets by CanisMajor 3rd-5th Years
What really happened the last time someone let the Basilisk out? Harry Potter...
Red Squirrel/Sun Rises by hestiajones 1st-2nd Years
+ He wouldn't celebrate his birthday, but his son had other ideas. + This was...
Sybill Trelawney and the Unexpected Gift by Squibstress 3rd-5th Years
Sybill Trelawney learns to live with her Inner Eye, cooking sherry, and Minerva...
Pat-a-Cake by foolondahill17 1st-2nd Years
Molly Weasley II, called Pat, and twenty-one lot and little-known facts. Or...
Wood by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 6th-7th Years
Marcus Flint, the infamous Super Seventh Captain of the Slytherin Quidditch...
CATEGORIES