stupid. no plot. moved too fast. too much profanity; showed a lack of intelligence that could have been used to employ a more extensive vocabulary. In lamenst terms: you should not be writing fan fiction. or anything else for that matter.
I'll have to be harsh this time: How old were you when you wrote this? There is a lot of missing descriptions, dialogues and actions. You should fill it up. This is more like an summary than a story. Oh and try not to say: Then this happened. Then that happened. It's not interesting. Make it interesting!
No hard feelings, love!
I'll have to be harsh this time: How old were you when you wrote this? There is a lot of missing descriptions, dialogues and actions. You should fill it up. This is more like an summary than a story. Oh and try not to say: Then this happened. Then that happened. It's not interesting. Make it interesting!
No hard feelings, love!
well theres a lot to say!!! good story but cut down the swearing!! umm very interesting story and it caught my attention i hope that next time when u write a story just dont use a lot of swearing!! above that great story!!! i could kinda relate to that!!
Pretty good, extremly confusin though.
Author's Response: i plan on making corrections to the story soon because its one of those stories where only the person who writes it gets it....
That's so sad!!!! Sure, it was a little confusing at first, but I like it all the same. Draco seems to be like a pimp in this and that makes it a little funny. Still, I like this...8/10
Author's Response: why thank you.
sorry no offense but i really didnt like this story at all..... really confusing. umm... sorry to be harsh and all but it was just not working for me. but others might like it. sorry.....
Author's Response: i knowits a bit confusing because i didnt get a lot of the story of what happened inbetween JP/LM romance.
